A/N: Ok folks, so I was in the mood to write something angsty and have been kicking around this idea for a bit. Then today while I was sitting around at the ski lodge waiting to see if our crew was going to work or not, I had a couple of hours to kill. Admittedly, half of it was spent playing impromptu games of skill that woudl normally be done when one is drunk...or really really bored. After nearly injuring myself spectacularly, I decided to relax and write this out on my phone. It is completely unbeta'd and written in about an hour so sorry for any grammer/ spelling errors. It is also very brief. SPOILER ALERT!: Claudia's POV during the season 3 finale of Warehouse 13.
I sit staring at my laptop, one hand fingering the metronome as I pointedly ignore the looks I am getting from Leena and Mrs. F. I WILL find a way to bring Steve back. He never should have been allowed to go undercover. Didn't they know how much he meant to me?
Damn it, now I'm about to cry again.
I close my eyes, trying to fight the tears, but I quickly open them again because all I can see is Steve, collapsed back in that chair, his eyes glazed over in death. Why can't I remember him smiling, alive, and healthy? I've been trying for the last few hours to remember the man that became family to me quicker than anyone else ever has. All I can see anymore though, is Steve dead in that chair.
I feel my fingers convulse around the metronome, and I struggle to contain the sob that is threatening to break free from my chest.
Without warning that sob turns into a gasp as a wave of….something flashes through me.
In my peripheral vision, a tiny corner of my overly distracted mind notes that Mrs F has just sat a little stiffer in her seat with a distant look on her face. Leena is asking me what's wrong, but I honestly couldn't begin to tell her. It's like….a bad premonition. I wonder if this is what Pete gets when something terrible is about to happen?
I feel a chill run along my spine, the nerves left nearly raw in the wake of the sensation. And there is this….presence in the back of my skull. It's like someone is whispering directly into my brain. The words make no sense, but the tones are desperate and infinitely sad. Emotions, smells, sensations, and feelings that are not mine invade my every sense. I feel myself become choked up, and I shudder visibly as I futilely try to block it all out. Then, for a brief moment, I can breath again. It's all still there….just….quieter. A sense of resignation and peace settles over me.
My relief lasts only a few brief heartbeats before the entire world around us shakes violently from the force of a massive explosion nearby. I hardly notice the havoc being wreaked around me in the physical world. Inside, it feels like my body is imploding and exploding at the same time. I feel the pain of a thousand deaths, some more vividly than others. It is like a black hole is forming in the very center of my being, slowly sapping away at my soul, leaving my body as nothing more than a hollow shell.
I curl in on myself, my hands desperately clutching at my temples in a vein effort to make it all stop, unaware that I am now on the floor. But the agony only continues on for another lifetime, growing overwhelmingly stronger by the second. The functioning part of me is trying to understand what is going on, but the instinctual half of me already knows. The Warehouse is dying, and because it picked me, I now have a connection to it….however unwanted. The pain escalates until I am half unconscious with it. I want to scream, but I am unable to draw breath enough to even exhale. And then as suddenly as it began, it ends.
It takes several long second for me to force myself to roll to my feet. I know I am in shock, but I don't give a damn at the moment as I know without a doubt several things. Leena is crying out about the Warehouse, but I focus inwardly and realize that we have lost more than just the Warehouse. Before it died, the Warehouse passed on it's final gift- or curse- to me: I can now feel Artie, Myka, Pete and Leena. The grief that is welling up from within Myka confirms what I knew I had felt- HG is dead.
She wasn't the only casualty in this last battle of a war that has already claimed so many lives. My eyes are fixed on the unmoving form of Mrs. Frederick. Leena is just now noticing that the older woman is not rising. I already know that she never will, but cannot suppress my reaction as I watch her body shift before our eyes. Within seconds, the solid and full figured form is reduced to a desiccated shell, the only indication of how old Irene Frederick might have been.
I am not sure how long I stand there, staring at the corpse of the woman who seemed so infallible, unflappable, and simply larger than life. I'm not even sure when I fell to my knees, but I slowly become aware of the fact that Leena is crouched on the ground next to me, holding me as silent sobs shake my entire body.
How could she leave me like this? She knew I wasn't ready for this job yet damn it! She said I would have time to adjust to this. That she would be there for me when I was ready to begin the training that I had hoped to put off for some years to come.
And then it hits me with enough force to knock the wind out of me as if physically punched. I am now the Caretaker….of nothing.