Part 3

Javier Esposito's place was a compact, modern one bedroom. Not much bigger than an efficiency, however, it was ruthlessly organized and meticulously clean. It was all about personal pride for this ex-Special Ops officer.

Lanie originally thought the place would feel closed in and sterile from the building's exterior. But the colors were vibrant and warm with enough personal touches like pictures and sports memorabilia to liven it up and reveal the occupant's personality and passions.

For now, he wasn't intent on being welcoming. "You know, Lanie, it's been a long day and you must have better things to do."

"True as a rule, however, you might as well sit down after you get me a class of wine."

"What makes you think I have wine, let alone something you'd like?"

"Javier, it hasn't been that long. Some things become automatic. Your favorite beer remains a fixture in my refrigerator." She wouldn't admit she continued to automatically pick it up while shopping even though they'd been broken up long enough for that habit to have passed.

He stormed off silently fuming while getting her wine. He brought it back and offered her the glass. Lanie took it and set it on the table adjoining the loveseat. She patted the space next to her indicating he should join her. "You don't have to play the macho man with me. I'm well aware it's not play, it's who you are."

"Damn straight."

"But, it's not all you are and having to take a life, even to save Beckett, even to save our city—that's going to eat at you."

His breath shuddered out, "I had to get away, it's a righteous shoot but you never feel righteous."

"I know that, baby." She let her actions follow her tender tone enfolding him in her arms.

That broke him and he clutched her tight as a sob escaped from his throat. "His sister begged us to save him instead of killing him."

"You couldn't save him. Sadly, sometimes people are beyond saving."

"Lanie, he was a good guy once, a lot like me."

"Nothing like you. You've taken your lumps, fought back and survived. You move on and are stronger."

"In some things." He pulled back and looked into her eyes, "You're tough to move on from."

She echoed him from earlier, "Damn straight." She swiveled to pick up her wine, "Javier Esposito, you're pretty memorable yourself which is why I cancelled perfectly fine dinner plans."

"A date?"

"That is none of your concern."

"So that tells me it was a date." He looked her over, "He better treat you right."

"I can take care of myself and remember, you gave up that privilege."

"Then, why the Hell are you here, Lanie?"

"Because no matter what you're my friend, I'm part of your work unit and you're the finest man I've ever met." She let her hand brush down the side of his face, "And Javie, I couldn't stand the thought of you alone after the day you had."

"Thank you." He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "You've settled me down. I should be fine."

"Okay then, let's go." Lanie stood up to retrieve her jacket and her hobo bag. She held the jacket out to Javier and he automatically helped her into it letting his hands linger on her shoulders. He gently pulled her hair outside her collar. She shivered slightly at the tender, intimate gesture. Her voice quivered a little, "Now find your jacket."

"Where we going?" He headed for the closet.

"A little fresh air and then if you want company we hook up with our friends. If you don't want that big of a gathering we keep walking until you're tired enough for bed."

Esposito smiled. It was a small smile but Lanie would take what she could get. He asked her, "Is this Dr. Parish's cure?"

"It's a start." She walked toward the door and rummaged in the bag. She pulled out a lipstick and a business card. "Here, your first appointment with the counselor is tomorrow."

"Damn." He knew it was mandatory but he hated the exposure and being forced to talk about himself and his feelings. "I was hoping you were leading to me getting to mess up your lipstick."

"Keep dreaming, Det. Esposito." She smacked her newly coated lips and turned to him, "I picked the best of the department shrinks for you. I'm done."

"So when you said getting me tired enough for bed, you meant to sleep."

"You bet."

"Alone?"

"Javier…"

"Okay, you're right. Does that alone extend to my therapy sessions? Lanie, will you please be my back up?"

This was more involved in Javie's life than she wanted to be, however, she could see how much this meant to him and how much it was costing him to ask. She sighed, "Damn you and those puppy dog eyes of yours. Of course, I'll go with you."

They smiled at each other as they went out the door. Emotions shot right to the heart and kept the fire for each other burning. It was banked for now; however, the pull was strong enough that both of them were aware it would burst into passion again when the time was right.

That had to be enough for now.

###