Okay, so it's kinda sporadic at first but I have no idea what I'm doing or whether this will be funny or dramatic but there will be some funnyness fo sho.

Warnings: Smut eventually, het, Shizaya, and umm... idk, a buncha crap, we will add as we go. Also I will probably switch in to third person. If that happens I will go back and rewrite the first person chapters so it makes sense... or not.

Special warning: I'm writing this with a bad cold, as a result there will likely be spelling errors. I will go back and fix them sooner or later. Love ya all.

Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara and Izaya is not a girl.

My parents were desperate for a boy. I'm not one, I wasn't good enough as a girl and so they played pretend. I didn't care once, long ago, but I do now. I was so much a tom boy it made no difference. At least not until I started wanting to wear dresses and skirts and high-heels… Ah! High heels! I can't even wear make up! Not that I would need to, as skin goes mine is damn good. I brush a lock of hair behind my ear and glare a little at my own reflection. My hips are narrow enough to get away with cross-dressing and even though my bust is small I still have to bind them down or it would be obvious. I wonder what everyone else would do if they found out my deepest secret? I know my own parents would be angry at my revealing it after hiding it so well for so long.

"Shizu-chan would freak out~" I giggle lightly at the though before slipping my usual black v-neck on along with my jacket. I doubt Shizu-chan would even pay attention to me if he knew… he doesn't hit girls after all, though it would mean free reign in Ikebukuro. I skip out grinning and ignore the reference to my flamboyant homosexuality. I am not gay though, I just come across that way. Mind you since I'm a straight woman that makes sense. I skip right in to Ikebukuro, looking for Shizuo. My god, I have the biggest crush on him~!

"Shiiiizuuuu-chaaan~!" I call out under my breath, "come out, come out, wherever you are~!" I see the blonde hair long before he sees me but that is not unusual. I wonder if he might start to like me if he knew? Maybe. Maybe he would hate me more. Maybe he would hate himself for hitting a girl so many times~! He turns suddenly as if he can smell me and then he grins with a glare. Why he always looks so happy to see me when he claims to want to crush me I will never know.

"IZAAAYAAAA-KUUUN!" I can't help my grin. I'm not happy he hates me, but I love that he at least knows I exist. At least I know Shinra will never tell a soul about this. Not that I love Shizuo and more importantly, not that I am a woman.

"Shinraaaaa…. Hold a party!" I whine and look at him with a playful pout and he shakes his head.
"No! If I did then I would invite Shizuo and I don't want you two breaking my apartment!" Shinra scowls a little at my fluttering of eyelashes.
"Izaya, you know that won't work!"

"Pleaaaase? I can wear a dress! And not bind! No one would know it was me!" I beg. It may be my one chance to speak with Shizuo properly. Normally I intentionally deepen my voice but I won't have to dressed like a girl. I'll get to wear girls clothes too! I never get to! If I kept them after all Mairu and Kururi would be sure to tell everyone I'm not actually their older brother.

"Shizuo claims he can smell you now you know," Shinra chuckles a little, "I think he likes you, you know,"
"Ah Shinra~! I wish he did but let's face it, he thinks I'm a guy!"
"Yeah… but I think he knows you aren't subconsciously. I mean most women worship you like god, but they don't love you and they aren't attracted to you. Men on the other hand are attracted to you." Shinra says knowledgably.

"Ah…well, I'll even wear perfume then!" I'm sure to grin cheekily and bat my eyelashes again causing Shinra to roll his eyes in exhasperation.
"You are desperate for an excuse to dress in your gender, aren't you?"
"What was your first clue~?"
"Fine… but be nice to Shizuo or I will tell everyone you're no more a man than Anri Sonohara-san is!" Shinra declares and I can help but hug him.

"Ah! Hey! Izaya-chan! Let go!" He whines and I just laugh. Celty comes in and then walks right back out like she wants to forget she saw anything.
"Ah! No, Celty! Izaya! Let go of me!"
"See you on new years Shinra~~"

I stare at my reflection in disbelief. I got a weave done, dressed in the most feminine clothing I had far outside Shinjuku or Ikebukuro. I went shopping too. My hair now comes to my shoulders which I pulled into a neat bun to the side. I got a red dress with a slit up the side though it's not too fancy either. Something almost casual. My shoes are heels, red too to match my dress and I even got to use make up, though I used hardly any. A little colour to my lips, a little eye liner and shadow, mascara. I look a little less androgynous and a lot more feminine than usual and I hope Shizuo won't notice the similarities between the me now and the me I usually present. I don't look like me.

"Heh~," I won't even have to lower my voice now. And I twirl once happily, the dress fanning out gently before returning to cling to my body gently. I call a taxi instead of walking. I am not walking to Shinra's in heels, adorable as they are they do kind-of hurt. Tai paid I grin with a very me-like smirk before rearranging my features into something innocent and sweet and ring the bell. Shinra, fortunately, answers the door.

"I-Izaya?" Even he is shocked.
"Hmm~? Can't you tell~?" I reply, though without deepening my voice he really can't place it.
"Is that a wig?" He asks, letting me inside and I chuckle.
"No, a weave, heh~! Think this is enough to fool the others~?" I say it jovially but I really don't want Shizuo to recognise me. It may be my only chance to see him, one on one and with no risk of being crushed.

"Y-yeah… I didn't even recognise you!" Shinra is still looking at me and trying to see where the other Izaya is. I grin and I know my eyes flash at him.
"Set any mistletoe up for an excuse to kiss Celty~?"
"Ah…w-well a little…" He mumbles, and I know he sees it now.
"Anyone else here~?"
"J-just Celty…" He goes further in and Celty come out, then she stiffens a little.

[Who are you?] Ah…she's threatened by me~?
"Hmm…oh yeah, Shiiiinraaaa, I need a good fake naaaame~!"
"Celty… that's Izaya."
[Oh] That's it? That's her reaction oh look I spoke to soon…
[What? Izaya is a man! This is not a man!] She was typing more but Shinra put his hand on hers.
"Izaya's a woman. She's just been… hiding it. Really well it seems…"

"Aw~! Shinra, you think I'm pretty~!"
"I think you're annoying, now stop hugging me!"
"Mmm…. No."

Seliphra: Okay, this here for clarifying. Shinra is the only person who knows Izaya is a chick. Her name is still Izaya becasue her parents wanted boy-child.
Izaya: Wait... I have boobs?
Shizuo: Finally! I get to-*silenced by seliphra*
Izaya: huh?
Seliphra: No no, no ruining my comedy boys~!
Izaya: But I'm a girl
Seliphra: Not in the post script you're not.