Whispered Words and Silent Tears

A man appears from the shadows. His face, hair and robes are streaked with dirt and his cheeks are sunken. His grey eyes scan across the narrow alleyway, searching for something…someone. I step out from the darkness and lower my hood.

"Lucius?"

"Narcissa?" The man replies, stepping cautiously towards me, as if he is unsure of who I am. I run to him, the hems of my cloak trailing behind me.

"Oh Lucius…."

He embraces me and for a moment we just hold each other. Azkaban has changed my husband. He looks like a man who has lived many centuries. His eyes no longer hold confidence and he reminds me of a timid child, unsure and afraid. This scares me. I tilt my head to look up at him and I am about to tell him how I have missed him, but he speaks first.

"Draco? The Dark Lord punished him because of me, didn't he?"

I shake my head.

"Draco is safe, and it is over. Dumbledore is dead."

I expect Lucius to glory at Dumbledore's death but he does not. I'm not sure if he even heard me.

"I thought of many things horrible things in Azkaban," says Lucius slowly. "I kept thinking that the Dark Lord was torturing you and Draco and it w-was all m-my fault…"

Lucius falls to his knees, crying and I instantly fall down beside him, wrapping my arms around him, holding him close. I could feel his tears against my skin. Never in all the years I have known him, has Lucius wept like he was now. I have never seen him so lost, so broken, so afraid…

I stroke his hair and kiss his cheeks and murmur tender words in his ear. "It's over…It's over…" I repeat it like a mantra. I don't know whether I am trying to convince him or whether I am trying to convince myself.

After a while Lucius breaks away from my hold and he gazes at me, as if he has seen me clearly for the first time.

"I've missed you so much," he says, reaching for a strand of my hair and twirling it with his finger.

"Me too…" and I am about to tell about all the times I've thought of him while he was gone, but I can't because at the moment, he kisses me and I kiss him back and it is wonderful.

"I love you," I whisper between kisses.

"As I love you…"

It takes Lucius a while to settle back into a normal routine. Azkaban continues to haunt him. Many nights he cries and thrashes around in his sleep and I have to shake him awake.

"It was just a dream," I would tell him, stroking his face and wiping away the tears. Often we would lay in silence, just holding each other, relishing the peace and enjoying the comfort of one another.

One night I said to my husband, after I had shaken him awake from his nightmare; "I wish I could make it better, for you Lucius."

And he replies; "You are, Narcissa, you are."