Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author Note: I wrote this over a year ago out of pure boredom.

Oh, I don't own anything related to Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, or Potter Puppet Pals.

Enjoy! -Troublelover16

Artemis Fowl the Second was always the smartest kid of his age. You could ask him the meaning of any word and he could tell you, just like that. But while he was visiting his friends one day, he realized that there was one word that he didn't know.…

Well, since he was in Haven, he decided to ask one of his closest friends. Captain Holly Short.

"Holly, could I ask you something?"

Holly looked up from her paperwork. "I'm sorry Artemis, but I'm kinda busy right now. Can you ask me later?"

Artemis was insistent. "Please Holly, it will only take a minute."

Holly sighed and put down her pencil. Artemis could be such a bother sometimes.

"Okay Mud Boy, I'm listening."

"I was wondering if you could tell me what d'arvit means. It's the only word in the fairy language that I have no idea what it means."

Holly smirked, picked up her pencil, and began to work again. "You don't want to know."

"Come on Holly, just tell me."

Holly sighed. "Okay, I warned you. It means..."

Warning "explicit" language.

"^%$&#$your%$(mom$*#(#$#$&%$eoin%$%(colfer#$#%*(#$##$(%$^%$harry(*%$%potter($%)$&#%)$#($with%$a#&%(#*&$king&*($#frond%$*$%$*$&%$*($*$&%&*$*($&percy&*($jackon's%&*$(*&#*(%$^*$%^brother%$()$(%&#$(#$*(##$mixed*%$(with*%*$(*#$&#*#(*$#&*&$*#truffles%*$$%*(#*$*#&which&%$makes*&%*$(*$voldemort&*$#and%$()$*%($($opal's$(%*$(*%$(%$($%$surprise$%($$($%$your%$*$%mom&*%$*$&*%$KABOOM!"

Artemis turned even paler than he was. "Oh..."

He then turned to leave, but instead fainted.

Holly smirked and returned to her work. Artemis would be fine in a little while.

"I told you so."

A few hours later Trouble stopped by to talk to Holly. He stopped when he saw Artemis lying there on the floor. The elfin commander looked at Holly quizzically.

"What happened to him?"

Holly looked at Artemis, who was still out cold, and smirked. "Oh, nothing much. I told him what d'arvit meant. He asked…and I told him."

Author Note: Review please. :)