Hey y'all! This is my first fanfic in years! I would LOVE feedback and if someone would like to be my beta…that would be awesome! I know I am terrible with grammar and any help would be much appreciated!

As y'all I do not own Twilight or any of the character! All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer!

JPOV

I can hear her. I've heard the same thing every night for months now. I did this. This is my fault.

Like every night I sit outside her window and rest against the tree and try to send calming waves up to her. She's crying, but its more than crying. She's breaking and I can't calm her down because I'm breaking too. I can't get everyone's looks out of my head. They tried to tell me it was okay. That it wasn't my fault, but it was. I was the one who attacked her. I was the one who almost killed her...I shutter every time I think about that night. It changed everything. Edward hates me, but he also thanks me because now she finally understands what he meant when he said that wearen't the good guys. Rosalie could care less and Emmet feels bad about what happened. He doesn't blame me. Carlisle and Esme try to comfort me, but it feels forced. I know they think of me as part of the family, but I'm not a Cullen. They didn't create me...

Alice.

She tries to pretend that she's not upset with me, but she's lying. You can't lie to an empath. We always know. Things are strained with us. She keeps looking at me with this look on her face. I don't know how to describe it...I just know that she's disappointed in me. It's not like I didn't warn her. I told her that I needed to hunt before Bella's party, but like the little control freak she is, she would let me because I would ruin the new shirt she got me. Which of course, I told her; I could just take it off and put back on when I got back. But still. This was my fault. I should have gone out to hunt anyway. It would have saved my family from falling apart.

*Screaming*

That's Bella. She's having another nightmare again. She does this every night too. Charlie no longer checks on her. This first night I came here, I almost jumped threw her window to save her from who ever or whatever was attacking her. Charlie got to her before I could do anything, which shocked me. How could he beat me to her room? I soon found out that this wasn't a onetime thing. She's done it before. Charlie used to sleep outside her room and wait for her to wake up screaming. He stopped checking on her a few weeks ago. It really didn't do much good anyway. This is when I send calming waves to her, you'd think that she would be used to these dreams, but she wakes up screaming from them every night. I wish I knew what was happening in her dreams. I can feel her go through a rollercoaster of emotions. Joy, love, happiness, confusion, disappointment, worry...it just gets worse from there. I want to go to her and ask her what is happening in her dreams, but I probably don't really want to know the answer...I fear she's dreaming about me and how I almost killed her.