As Naruto stepped out of the Hokage tower, he sighed tiredly and rolled his neck. A night's rest had done a lot to help him recover, but it would take much more for him to be at one hundred percent. Those were the dangers of being in an orgy with the woman recognized as the strongest (physically) kunoichi in the world, the Daedric Prince of Debauchery (who'd proved just how gender-fluid a 'Prince' could be), and Orochimaru; and it wasn't like they prepared you for something like that in the Ninja Handbook.

Chapter 3: How to Handle Sexual Encounters with Legends and Mythical Beings. Step one, use protection, as in armor as well as contraceptives; also painkillers. Step two, cry.

All Naruto wanted was to take a long, hot bath, possibly in molten rock, then curl up and go to sleep. With that goal in mind, he took to the roofs of Konoha and leapt towards home. It was just after noon, so the village was bustling with civilians and ninja alike going about their business and enjoying the balmy weather.

He had just cleared the gap between a restaurant and a clothing store when he heard a quiet growl before something slammed into him bodily, driving him to the roof of the store. He tensed and prepared to fight, only to pause when he heard laughter. Looking down, Naruto found Hana Inuzuka nuzzling his neck in an almost-desperate fashion, whining in her chest and trying to pull off his vest while also trying to cling to him.

Tsume stood a few feet away, laughing at them. "Hey, Ryuu-kun, long time no see. What did you get up to on that mission?" She asked, nudging them with her foot. "Because you smell like sex. And I don't mean like you just had sex, I mean like you're covered in it."

"That's actually a pretty apt description," Naruto acquiesced, one hand on Hana's shoulder while the other was keeping her face away from his neck even as she whined. "Why is she acting like…"

"A dog in heat?" The Inuzuka matriarch asked dryly. "Ever since she came back from that forest with you, she's been in more in-tune with her primal instincts. Some days are better than others, you just caught her on a bad day."

Naruto channeled magic to his hands, coating them in frost, then grabbed Hana's face. The younger Inuzuka yelped in shock and leapt back, rubbing at her face. She blinked rapidly as her sense returned before she flushed deeply and hid behind her mother, who roared with mirth. "Tsume said you're having trouble with your instincts?" he asked, pushing himself up.

She mumbled something into her mother's back, before withdrawing and repeating it aloud. "Yeah, I am." Her face was still red. "Sometimes I find myself growling at people, or eating raw meat and tearing up my room."

"Oh," the dragon muttered, scratching his chin, "That's pretty bad. Have you talked to Mira or Aela about it? They should be able to help you."

Hana scratched at the back of her neck sheepishly. "Well, I know, but it's kind of…embarrassing, isn't it?" She muttered, looking away.

Naruto thought back to his own trials and angst over his changing body, all sixteen chapters of it, as Tsume cuffed her daughter around the head. "Yeah, it is, but there's nothing wrong with asking for help about the changes happening to your body from somebody who's already gone through them," he reasoned, shrugging.

"Exactly what I've been saying!" Tsume cheered, pointing a finger in her daughter's face. "Listen to Ryuu-kun and go talk to those out-of-time warriors."

"I'm heading there now; you could come with me, if you like." The Dragon offered with a thin smile.

Hana sighed but favored him with a small grin. "Alright, Naruto-kun, let's go." They leapt off the roof as a trio, making their way to the apartment building that the dragon owned. "Why do you smell like sex, though?"

"Ugh," Naruto sighed, wishing he could magic away the soreness. "Can you hold onto that for a bit longer? It's a bit of a story, and I'd rather not tell it more than once."

"Didja get it on with Tsunade?" Tsume asked with a knowing smirk, the expression widening into a grin as he groaned. "Ha! Oh, I need to hear this!"

The black dragon shinobi of the Leaf sighed again as they landed in front of the building and walked up the steps. "Laas," he whispered, blinking as vertical clouds of red mist formed in his vision. A large grouping of lifeforms were in the apartment he shared with his wives, one of them having a dark blue flame flickering inside that actually looked down at him and waved, while two more were in the apartment the Uchiha had taken.

He stopped at that door and knocked, waiting a second before the door opened. "Karin, I said I wanted to have a peaceful lunch with my mom, not-" Suki paused upon noticing that it was, in fact, not the shorter redhead who she was speaking to, but her much taller Clan member. The younger Uchiha hopped up and wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck, pressing happy kiss to his cheek. "I missed you, Naruto. When'd you get back?"

Naruto hugged her tightly, pecking her in return and feeling a smile come to his face. "About an hour; I was reporting to the Hokage before I came straight home. I hope I'm not interrupting something?"

"Oh no, we were just finishing up," Mikoto answered, beaming gently as she approached the returning shinobi and gave him a light kiss on the other cheek. "I'm glad to see you back, Naruto, and I'm looking forward to that date you promised."

"Ooh, a date, eh?" The Inuzuka Matriarch grinned, elbowing her friend in the side. "Sounds sexy! I'm a bit jealous, actually. Whenever this stud comes over, it's always sex, sex, sex. No room for romance with little ol' me, I guess."

Naruto gave her a dry look, since she was the first person he'd ever been romantic with. "If you wanted a date, Tsume-chan, all you had to do was ask," he said flatly.

She shrugged and shook her head. "Nah, I'm good for now."

The black dragon rolled his eyes and turned back to Mikoto. "Anyway, about our date…"

The Uchiha Matriarch narrowed her eyes. "What about it?" she asked softly, an edge of danger to her voice.

"Do you want to do it tomorrow night?" he asked simply, ignoring the implied threat.

Mikoto blinked in surprise, then smiled gently. "Of course! What should I wear?"

"Anything you don't mind getting a little bit dirty, but you'll look amazing in anything," Naruto replied matter-of-factly. "We're going to my place to…talk about my mission. Want to come with?"

The two Uchiha agreed and joined the group as they went down the hall and entered Naruto's apartment. "Hey, Naruto!" Yugito called from the kitchen. "Grab a seat, lunch will be ready in a second!"

Samui and Hinata had been chatting before they heard the door opening, and when they saw who it was, they hopped to their feet and jogged over to him. Hinata had been closest, and was the first to throw her arms around him. "It's so good to see you, Naruto-kun," she whispered, burying her face against his chest. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, sweetheart," came his murmured reply, pressing a soft kiss on her head. Hinata drew back with a sweet smile and quickly pecked his lips with a blush on her cheeks. "Samui."

The stoic blonde favored him with a slight smile and greeted him with soft, caressing kiss as she ran her hands through his hair. "Husband," she replied lovingly, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. "I'm glad you're back."

"Me too," he said, slipping an arm around her shoulder as they walked to the table. Yugito was standing at the stove, wearing an apron that read TOO HOT TO HANDLE (without oven mitts). "You're cooking?"

She gave him a flat look over her shoulder. "Obviously. Sensei said knowing to properly spice things is essential when using poisons, so I'm practicing," Yugito sucked her teeth for a second. "I actually kind of like it."

"It's relaxing, right?" Naruto smiled knowingly, "Knowing exactly how to put all the ingredients together, spicing it just right and hearing the sounds of satisfaction as everyone enjoys it. You see why I like cooking, now?"

"Yeah," she muttered with a blush, setting a plate down in front of him. "Lunch is served."

Mikoto and Suki had already eaten, as had the Inuzuka pair (they'd been leaving a barbeque restaurant when they'd caught Naruto's scent), so only Naruto, Hinata, Samui and Yugito had dishes while two more were set aside. "Who are those for?" The dragon husband asked, pointing at the extra plates.

"Mira and Aela are out hunting, but they should be back-" Samui started, pausing when she heard the door open and the calls from the two Nords. "-right about now."

"Afternoon, everyone!" Mira greeted, an ebony bow slung over her shoulder with a quiver of steel arrows. "We downed a stag and one of those large cats and stored the bodies downstairs. Oh, Naruto, you're back." She wrapped an arm around his neck and hugged his head to her chest briefly. She would've done more, but all the hunting had made her hungry.

Aela grabbed him by the cheeks and planted a rough kiss on his lips, smearing a bit of her blue face-paint on him. "Hey," she greeted simply, breathing a bit heavily. Hunting had gotten her blood up, and she was very in-tune with the beast-blood inside of her and could smell his pheromones. "You smell like sex."

Naruto sighed. "So I've been told," he muttered, taking a bite out of the venison flank on his plate and groaning quietly. He turned Yugito, was still standing next to the stove and anxiously rubbing the scar under her eye, and said, "This is really good!"

The Nibi jinchuriki perked up, her eyes visibly brightening. "You do?" she nearly squealed, hugging his back and nuzzling her face into his neck.

Samui watched them with a dry expression, leaning on a fist as she slowly chewed. "From the way she reacted, you'd think it was her first time cooking," she huffed, chuckling lowly, "You'd never think she'd been making the meals for the past week. Or that they'd also been pretty good."

"Shut up, sis," Yugito muttered, still clinging onto Naruto's back, "You're family, you have to say my stuff is good. He's my husband, he has to be honest with me."

"Usually people say it's the opposite," Tsume pointed out with a grin.

"How about, instead of answering, just shut up," the Nibi jinchuriki said embarrassedly, taking in her husband's' scent. "Oh, wow, you do smell like sex."

"Yup," Naruto sighed, taking a drink of mead. "It's long story, and I'm just waiting for Tenten and Yugao-sensei to get here before I tell it."

Hinata spoke up around a mouthful of venison, "They're not-" she blushed prettily and hid her face in her sleeve. "Sorry," she muttered, "they're not here right now. Samui was just telling me that Yugao-sensei, Tenten-chan, Shino-chan and Nejiko-chan took a mission this morning. They should be back within a couple of days. And Karin is spending the day with a friend from Cryptology Department."

"Oh," the dragon muttered, folding his arms. "Alright, so after I left here with Jiraiya, we stuck together for the first day, then split up the next. While I was heading towards Tanzaku-gai, I sensed someone watching me and called them out, and guess who it was? Orochimaru. Anyways, he seemed really interested in being my best friend…"

In between bites of his lunch and sips of mead, Naruto told them whole story; meeting Orochimaru, meeting Shizune, meeting and threatening Tsunade and getting her to agree to be the Godaime, then the fight with Itachi and that other guy.

"Itachi did what?!" Suki shrieked, her Sharingan spinning furiously in her eyes.

"He tried to light me on fire using Amaterasu," he repeated, setting his fork down and wiping his mouth on a napkin. "Fortunately, Meridia acted through the Dawnbreaker and pulled the cursed fire into the sword, purifying it and also adding holy white flames to the blade. Otherwise, I would've had to spend a week on fire, or eaten them myself, and that would've been very inconvenient."

Mikoto's visage was hard, and her eyes glinted with barely-concealed anger. "Despite all he's done, part of me still loves my son…but that was going too far. I've half the mind to spank him the next time we meet."

Naruto hummed in agreement. "Orochimaru and Tsunade summoned their own summons after that other guy brought out his, and I went into full-Dragon form and we had a big fight. The summoner was a bit of an asshole, but his summon, Byakko the White Tiger of the West, was actually a pretty nice guy." He snapped his fingers in remembrance. "That's right, after I killed his summoner, he gave me the Tiger Summoning scroll with the promise of giving it to a worthy summoner. I was hoping at least some of you ladies would sign it."

Samui and Yugito traded brief glances before nodding in agreement. Summoning scrolls were not only rare, but also jealously guarded for their powers in big battles and intimidation; there was a certain threshold that, when crossed, could only result in the summoning of giant monsters, and people wanted to have the biggest and the strongest and didn't want to share; much like toys.

"I don't think that would be too smart for us," Hana denied with a shake of her head, and her mother grunted in agreement, scratching at the clan mark under her eyepatch. "I'm already having trouble with my instincts, I don't want to attack a friendly summon."

Hinata simply shrugged, brushing violet bangs away from her face. "I would be open to becoming a summoner, but I'm not sure I'd be the right type," she answered quietly. "I'd like to try, though."

Suki seemed very interested in the idea, though Mikoto was not. "The Uchiha have a Clan Contract with the Ninja Cats," she explained, "Not that we summon them all that much. There's only so much a cat with a tanto can do, after all."

"I don't think they'd mind, though," the younger Uchiha pointed out. "Tigers are still cats and these are ninja summons, so they are technically Ninja Cats."

Aela cleared her throat, getting their attention. "Can you finish the story, please?" She asked Naruto as they moved to the living room and settled on the couches, chairs and the floor. The Huntress had moved a chair closer to the couch and her feet in Naruto's lap, sighing contentedly as he rubbed them. "I want to see how this ends, though I think I can guess a few things."

Naruto felt his cheeks heat up as Yugito cuddled up with his left side as Samui took the right. "Alright, well, after we beat Itachi and that one guy, we went back to the hotel and got ready for the poker tournament. Tsunade told me I should carry around fancy clothing in case of a party, so I'm going to see a tailor sometime soon. Anyway, Tsunade came up with an idea for a distraction that actually worked out pretty well, but I ended up winning the whole thing. I think I won over a couple million ryo that night."

"Wow," Hinata murmured, peering at him with wide eyes, "What are you going to do with that much money?"

"Actually," he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "I had an idea I want to run past everyone who lives here. So, with Karin here, that makes five Uzumaki and legally declares us as a Clan, which means that I'm allowed to build a Clan Compound if I can cover the costs. Now that I can…What do you think of having a compound built?"

Samui chimed in first. "I think it'd be nice to have, but do we really need it? We have this building and a good amount of land, so I don't think it's necessary."

"I think we should," Yugito added. "We could have a main house, then a few guest houses, expand the cellar and maybe put in a garden. The extra privacy would be nice, with walls to stop people from just looking in."

"And it would be nice to have some wide open areas for children to run around in," her sister said after a second of thought, glancing around after realizing that everyone was staring at her. "What? I'm not ready for kids now, but I will be in the future."

"That's a good point," Tsume threw in her two ryo. "It might seem a bit over-the-top, but a well-built compound is like a sanctuary after a hard day's work. And, as Kitty-chan said, the privacy is a god-send."

Naruto turned to Mikoto and Suki. "You already live with us, so you have a say in it as well. What are your thoughts?" He asked curiously.

"I agree with Yugito," the Uchiha Matriarch said simply.

The younger kunoichi just shrugged. "I don't really mind either way."

He turned to the Nords next, and they both gave him blank looks. "I like the idea of more space and ground to roam around, and the idea of a garden does appeal to me," Mira answered, and Aela nodded and grunted in agreement.

"Alright then, we can plan it out a bit more later, but we'll have a compound built," Naruto said gladly. While he did like his apartment building, it was getting a bit cramped with all the people living there, and several rooms went unused. "I know a contractor who'll give me a discount, too, which will leave more money for starting up the business."

With that said, he continued the story, telling them of how he'd gotten drunk and woken up in a strange place. As soon as he mentioned the name, Mira fixed him with a knowing smirk. "'San' was Sanguine, right?"

"Yeah…" he muttered, and the Nord Dragonborn snickered and explained exactly who that was. Their reactions to his meeting with the Daedric Prince of Debauchery and what followed afterwards could be summed up as shock, embarrassment and amusement.

"Y-you can get drunk?" Samui giggled behind a hand, nudging an embarrassed Naruto in the side. "Apparently it makes you good at guitar and really horny."

"It must've been some kind of magical brew, because usually I just burn it away," he insisted, turning to Mira. "You know what I mean, right? When you met Sanguine, his drink got you drunk after three mugs, right?"

"Yeah, but I've got the blood and soul of a dragon, not the whole deal," she replied with a smirk. "And when I met him, all I did was sell a goat to giant, get engaged to a hagraven and molest a couple of statues…not convince a bunch of random people to party with snakes, turn a lake into beer, vandalize a monastery and introduce the monks to the joys partying and alcohol, form a band with the granddaughters of a local lord and then have an orgy."

Naruto frowned at her. "Everyone's a critic," he muttered, scratching his chin. "After that, we tracked down Sanguine, he made me his Champion and also gave me some drink recipes, then made Tsunade and Touka young again, and gave Orochimaru a hint so that he could become immortal. Then he manipulated reality so that we got really drunk again and we had another…orgy. But this time with a couple of daedra involved. And it lasted five days."

The room went silent, every eye fixed on the sheepish dragon. Hinata looked about ready burst with all the blood in her face, and Suki wasn't far behind. Tsume, on the other hand, whistled lowly. "Five days straight? I won't lie, that's actually impressive. No wonder you smell like sex."

"And you seem really tired," Aela pointed out, pulling her feet out of his lap. "Have you taken any stamina potions?"

"Yeah, I took two, but they didn't work and I'm not wasting anymore," he replied with a shrug and a yawn. "Whatever's in Sanguine's brew, it suppresses my abilities to human levels, so I figured I'd just sleep it off." He released another yawn, this one larger than the first. "Now you know, so I'm going to take a bath and go to bed."

He kissed his wives on the cheeks and stood, waving as the ladies wished him a good rest and he could hear Hana broach the topic of controlling her Beast Blood with Aela. With a tired sigh, Naruto unzipped his chunin vest and hung it up as he passed his room, dropping his equipment pouches off as well before heading off to the bathroom.

The water let off a misty wall of steam as he sank into it, the heat soothing the sore muscles and joints. I always thought Tsunade's 'Strength of a Hundred' jutsu was something she had to activate, but my dislocated hip said otherwise, as did the impression of my back in solid stone.

"At least a healing spell took care of that," Alduin snickered, "But no spell can fix damaged pride. Ha! You got dominated by a human!"

Who got whipped out of time, then into Sovngarde and then out of time again? Naruto shot back, not feeling very charitable to his father's feelings.

The World-Eater growled quietly. It had been over a decade-and-a-half for him and a few millennia for the world, but both defeats still rankled. "Okay, one, they fucking cheated and you know it! Second, the Dragonborn is a dragon, that's an entirely different matter and three, SHUT UP!" He roared, shaking the entire mindscape briefly. Naruto squeezed his eyes shut and clutched his head and groaned quietly, sinking under the hot water. Alduin exhaled harshly, taking a deep breath and rubbing his eyes. "I'm sorry, my son. That was an overreaction."

It's alright, the younger dragon replied, I know that's still a sore spot for you.

"Yes, it is, but you already wearied and I am your father," Alduin replied softly. "You should not suffer because of my actions. I'll leave you to your rest, my son."

The World-Eater's presence withdrew, leaving Naruto alone in the bath with a quickly fading headache. "Well, someone's touchy~" Kyuubi sang, chuckling maliciously.

You don't have any room to poke fun, Naruto said dryly. You act the exact same way whenever someone reminds you of being beaten by the Yondaime.

There was silence for a second, before Ember laughed. "Ha! You got burned! With the truth!"

Kyuubi sulked behind her bars. "Stop making fun of me!" she whined, curling up in a ball and muttering curses to herself.

With a sigh, Naruto settled in to let himself relax, and then the door opened. He resisted the urge to groan in frustration and focused on staring at the inside of his eyelids, hoping that, whoever it was, they didn't need him for anything. He was so concentrated on his self-given task that he failed to hear the sound of clothes hitting the floor, but definitely noticed when a body slipped into the water next to him.

Naruto jumped slightly, the bathwater sloshing a little as he turned to see who had joined him in the tub. Her hair was short, barely hanging around her chin, and a dark blonde color with strands of light brown intermixed. Her eyes were a deep, cold blue like the bottom of a glacier, enhanced by the dark red, almost black war paint smeared underneath to keep the glare of sunlight away. There was a thin, jagged pink scar crossing the bridge of her nose and two more on her left cheek, and she had full, pink lips.

"Already napping?" Mira asked jokingly, nudging his arm with an elbow. "You might want to hold off on that; I hear you can slip into the water and drown, then where would I be?"

"Still sitting in the bathtub when I either wake up in a panic or resurrect," Naruto replied tiredly, leaning back against the rim of the tub. "You didn't want to talk to Hana?"

"Aela is better at explaining what being a werewolf involves," she shrugged, scooting closer to him and resting her head on his arm. "She's always been more in-tune with her Beast Blood than I am. It was only after a thousand years that she wanted to escape the Hunting Grounds with me, and it's still one of her favorite activities. But enough about other people, let's relax."

They did so, letting the warmth of the water and the other's presence soothed them into a quiet doze. With her body gently pressed against his side and his arm behind her shoulders, Naruto's mind drifted back to how they first met, and things turned out as they did. Who ever would've thought the Son of Alduin, the World-Eater, the Bringer of the Apocalypse, the Black Dragon of Death and all that would eventually fall in with the Last Dragonborn who 'killed' the aforementioned World-Eater-Apocalypse-Bringer-blahblahblah?

Certainly not Naruto himself, since he figured Mira long dead and flying amongst the timeless skies around the Timeless Isle with Akatosh; so he was as surprised as anyone when he found her in the Hunting Grounds. It turned out that her sudden death had not been as it was fated and thus Hircine acted the quickest and snatched her soul.

Naruto couldn't find it in himself to really care, since those events had led her to this time and himself. And while he loved his wives and enjoyed their company, Mira was the only one who could really relax him, their dragon blood recognizing one another's power, like accepting like.

"Something's burning," Mira muttered sleepily, his presence and the warmth lulling her into rest. "What're you thinkin' 'bout?"

"You," he murmured, running his fingers through her wet hair, "And me. Us. our situation."

"Mmhmm?" She hummed, blinking slowly. "What about it?"

"It's friggin' weird, isn't it?" Naruto said quietly. "Looking in from the outside you'd expect us to be mortal enemies, or at least rivals."

"If you were more like the Alduin I knew, we'd be definitely enemies," Mira replied, reaching over to grab a bottle of shampoo. "Wash my hair? I'll do yours after."

The dragon hummed in agreement, taking the bottle and helping her climb between his legs, her back bared to him. He squeezed a portion of the gel into his hands and rubbed it to a foamy lather on her head, before digging his fingers in and massaging her scalp. Mira moaned lowly even as she scrubbed at her face with a bath sponge, sighing as his hands slipped down from her head to her shoulders. The muscled expanse of her back was scarred and pitted from her battles with other people, wild animals and dragons; though, if hadn't had healing spells, there would've been a lot more.

It was a testament to her ability to survive; Naruto had actually looked up to her when he was younger, since she was one of the most impressive people he's ever heard of. Sure, there was the Neveriane and the Hero of Kvatch who were very impressive and powerful, but Mira had started out as simple Nord, wrongfully accused of being a Stormcloak Rebel and nearly executed, and had grown into the single most powerful person in the entirety of Skyrim.

She'd become the Harbinger of the Companions, would've been the Archmage of the College of Winterhold if she'd any more than a passing interest in Restoration magic, the Thane of every Hold, killed hundreds of dragons and learned every Word there was recorded. She had single-handedly brow-beaten both the Imperials and Stormcloaks into a tenuous peace and had been the Champion of Meridia, Azura, Peyrite and Malacath.

If it sounded like he was gushing, he was. "Hold your breath," Naruto warned, shifting her body to the side before supporting her neck with his hand before dipping her head under the water and rinsing her hair out. The change of position had the effect of baring her breasts, glistening wetly in the light.

He withheld a pained grunt as his abused nether regions began to stir. Mira, her eyes just above the water level, quirked an eyebrow at him. "I thought you were sexed out?" She asked lowly, his arousal insistently poking at her lower back, despite his thoughts turning to whatever would kill his arousal.

"I am," he muttered, lifting her back out of the water. "Believe me, I'm not trying…then again, it's not like I have to. Just try to ignore it."

"Mm," she nodded, switching places with him. "Just relax, it'll go away in a bit." Naruto nodded and closed his eyes, relaxing under the ministrations of her hands. When it was time to rinse, he dipped his head under the water and let her brush out the suds in his hair, enjoying the sensation of her fingers on his head. So much so…

"Dammit," he grunted, glaring down at his crotch. "I never thought I'd curse my libido one day. No, wait, I did, but for entirely different reasons."

Mira took him by the hand and led him from the bath, drying both of them off with a towel before pulling him into the bedroom and pushing him onto the bed, sliding onto his lap and straddling his arousal. "Let me take care of you, alright?" She kissed him softly, lining him up with her lower lips and slowly sinking down.

Naruto groaned in mixed suffering and pleasure, gripping her hips tightly and meeting her eyes with a pained gaze. "Be gentle with me, please…"

The Last Dragonborn kissed the Son of Alduin again, wrapping her arms around his neck and embracing him. "I will," she promised in a whisper.

…

The Next Day…

The brew had fully faded from Naruto's system the next day, so he awoke and went about his day with vigor that was, unfortunately, not to last. "Ugh," he groaned pitifully, thumping his head on the Hokage's desk. "I already own the land, why do I have to make a declaration of ownership? And what's the point of Form 1033 if Form 1259 is the exact same thing?"

The Sandaime reached over and patted the dragon on the head, as Tsunade chuckled at his pain. "At the time of Konoha's forming, the Uchiha were the ones in charge of organizing the Clans into the system, and they made it their mission to make it as obtuse as possible to scare away competition," he explained, puffing on his pipe. "Really, without the Hyuuga's help, the Inuzuka would've been denied Clan Status and their compound. As it is, no one's been able to change it since doing so is even more confusing."

"Bastards," Naruto muttered into Form 1021-B, Declaring Standard Wall Heights for Compounds, "Red-eyed bastards."

"Don't you have the last Loyal Uchiha living in your building?" The Slug Sannin pointed out with a grin. "And you have red eyes."

The dragon sat up, the piece of paper sticking to his forehead for a second before peeling off and drifting down to the table, revealing his glaring red eyes. "I stand by what I said," he growled, rubbing his forehead. "This is going to take forever…"

"Naruto, you once asked me why I didn't use Shadow Clones to do my paperwork for me," Hiruzen leaned forward, the tip of his hat shadowing his eyes as he smirked. "Now, I'm going to ask you something: are you a ninja or not?"

Naruto tilted his head curiously, before his attention was drawn to Tsunade, who was rapidly drumming her fingers on the desk, so fast the individual digits were a blur. "…Oh.."

His body began to glow a light blue as his chakra hummed under his skin, before he burst into blur of motion. The scratching of his pen mixed with the rustle of paper sped up by ten times made a sound not dissimilar to a buzzsaw, and both the current and future Hokage watched with amused smirks.

A minute later, the forms had been moved into a neat pile, his pen was smoking and had a long crack on the side, while he was holding his right hand up and clutching his head with the left. "Oowwwoww…why didn't you warn me?" He groaned painfully, feeling like this hand was about to fall off and his eyeballs were about to explode over the desk.

"Experience is the best teacher, as they say," Hiruzen chuckled, smiling as Naruto gave him a dirty look. "That's why I prefer to take my time. The first time you break your wrist doing paperwork, you decide it's easier to take your time."

The dragon shinobi glared at him, flicking his uninjured hand out, a ball of light appearing in a his hand as chimes rang out and the healing spell took effect. "You would know, you have the most experience."

The Sandaime laughed, slapping a hand on the desk. "Oho! There's the 'old guy' joke!" He turned to Tsunade with a triumphant grin, holding out a hand. "I told you he'd to do that after the paperwork."

The Slug Sannin grumbled as she passed a handful of coins to her sensei, glowering at Naruto over the desk. "I thought you were supposed to be my lucky charm, but here you go losing me money."

He stuck his tongue out at her, picking up his forms and tossing the broken pen in the trash. "Suck it, Tsunade," he grumbled, heading for the door. "Thanks for the help, but I've got to file these and drop off a mission request before night fall."

As the door closed behind him, Hiruzen turned to Tsunade. "See, that's an important part of the job: getting amusement from the suffering of your subordinates, but only as long as it isn't too serious. You can't be grim and serious all the time, otherwise you'll age faster than milk left out on a hot summer day." He took a puff of his pipe, blowing a serious of smoke rings. "And make sure to be approachable and let them make small jokes at your expense, but only small ones."

"Yes, sensei."

…

The sun was dipping low on the horizon when Naruto emerged from the Hokage tower with a tired sigh, stretching his arms over his head with a crack. Crossing a pair of fingers over the others, he created two Shadow Clones in a puff of smoke. "You know what to do," he muttered.

One nodded and jumped off, while the other snickered under his breath. "Get the sex dungeon set up-" he vanished with a pop as Naruto punched the clone and wordlessly formed another, who silently ran off.

The dragon sighed and set off for home, stopping at a park on the way to pick a handful of flowers. He arrived at the Uchiha's door and knocked gently, suddenly feeling a bit nervous about the upcoming date, but he had no chance to think before the door was pulled open.

Mikoto stood in the doorway, framed by the light inside. She wore a long black skirt and a dark blue blouse with a small keyhole window in the front and no sleeves, the color accentuating her pale skin and soft black eyes, not hiding her womanly curves but hinting at them. "Good evening, Naruto," she said with a gentle smile, leaning forward and laying a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Hey, Mikoto," he greeted, returning the gesture and holding up the flowers, "These are for you."

Six of the flowers were small daisies, a couple of the others were lavender sprigs, but the largest of them was a single light orange daffodil. Mikoto's smile brightened as she took the flowers, taking in their scent with a deep breath. "Thank you, Naruto-kun," she beamed, her cheeks rosy and her eyes glittering. She set the bundle aside, slipping the daffodil out and sliding it behind her ear.

"You look amazing," Naruto said softly, offering her his hand. "Ready to go?"

The Uchiha Matriarch took his hand with slender fingers, pulling it close to herself and intertwining it with hers before hugging his arm to his chest. "I've been ready for a long time," she whispered, pressing a warm kiss to his cheek. Looking over her shoulder, she gave Suki a smile and a small wink. "Don't wait up for me, dear!"

Suki, wearing a tanktop and shorts, watched them depart with jealous eyes and a sigh. "Have fun!" she called reluctantly, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorframe. "I'll just be here…bored…"

A set of light footsteps were the herald for Karin to walk in from the apartment, stopping to watch the backs of Naruto and Mikoto as they went on their date. "Aww," she whined, "I wanted to go out tonight…but they look so cute…"

"Yeah," Suki sighed again, stepping away from the wall, "I'm going to watch TV, quietly simmering with envy."

"Can I come?" the redhead perked up, her eyes shining behind her glasses, "We can eat ice cream and complain about stuff!"

The younger Uchiha rolled her eyes in thought. "Isn't that what civilians and stereotypes do?" She asked, before shaking her head. "Yeah, fine, come in."

"Yay!" Karin cheered, bouncing along behind her. "We're gonna have so much fun!"

"So, Naruto," Mikoto began, stroking his arm coyly. "Where are we going? We're not dressed for a fancy restaurant and while I do enjoy ramen, it's not much of a 'date' spot."

"It's a surprise," Naruto replied with a small, knowing smile. "But no, it's not any of those places. Just wait a minute."

She hummed quietly. "Alright. What've you been doing all day? I haven't seen you around the building."

The dragon groaned tiredly. "Filing a ton of permits, licenses and declarations to get the ball rolling on building the compound. That…that was not fun." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I broke my wrist using chakra to fill them all out quickly."

"Ah, the perils of Clan paperwork," Mikoto giggled, "Designed to be easy for someone with a Sharingan and frustrating for everyone else."

"What about you, Mikoto?" Naruto rejoined, his eyes flicking to the daffodil in hair. "How was your day?"

"Oh, it was fine; I visited a few of my friends, got a little shopping done then spent an hour looking for the right outfit while my daughter quietly simmered with envy." She replied, a knowing smile on her face as they left the streets of Konoha and went down a forest path, the last streaks of the disappearing sun leaving trails of orange on the night sky.

A minute later, they emerged from the path into a clearing in the trees where a blanket was spread out in the center, lit on both sides by red paper lanterns. In the middle of the blanket was a wicker basket, with two plates and a pair of glasses next to it. "Here we are," Naruto announced unnecessarily, feeling very sheepish all of a sudden. "I hope you don't mind, but I thought you might like a quiet, intimate picnic better than some big fancy place."

"I love it," Mikoto said quietly, squeezing his hand appreciatively and favoring him with a warm gaze. He returned the expression and they sat down across from one another on the blanket, unpacking the basket and laying out small sandwiches, grilled kabobs of meat and vegetables, with sliced fruit and a bottle of wine. "Ooh, wine? I haven't had wine in a long time."

"I dabbled in wine-making a bit a few years ago," Naruto admitted with a shrug, pulling the cork and pouring them both a glass of dark blue alcohol. "I prefer to drink mead, but this wine's not too bad. It's called 'Balmorra Blue.'"

The Uchiha Matriarch paused with the glass to her mouth. "What a strange name," she murmured, before taking a sip. Her eyebrows perked up and she licked her lips, humming interestedly. "It's sweet!"

"Mmhm," the dragon nodded, swishing a bit of the wine in his mouth. "The blueberries I used for this batch were particularly good that year. Do you like it?"

"It's really good," Mikoto replied, taking another sip and a sandwich. They ate and drank in comfortable silence as the stars began to peek out of the black veil of the sky, and the nocturnal insects began to chirp and sing. When all the food was consumed, Naruto packed the remainders away and they lay back on the blanket, staring up at the twinkling lights.

"Hey, Mikoto?" Naruto started suddenly. He felt her hum in question through the arm under her neck. "Do you think it's odd that we're on a date now, but I'm also planning on taking your daughter out later this week?"

She shifted, rolling on her side and looking into his eyes. "Not really," she replied with a shrug. "I know you'll take care of her and treat her right."

Not what I was asking, the dragon sighed, barely blinking as Mikoto threw a leg over him and straddled his waist. Her lovely face blocked out the stars before she leaned down and kissed him. Her lips were soft and warm, her body pressing down on top of him as he slipped a hand into her raven hair and he tasted sweet wine on her tongue. Naruto wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer and stroking her back.

Mikoto slipped a hand down to grasp the back of his neck while the other slid down to his chest, unzipping his Chunin vest and exposing his bare skin underneath. "No shirt?" she murmured, her hand cool against the heat of his flesh.

Naruto shrugged, stroking her cheek. "I like the feel of the wind and sun on my skin," he replied, kissing her softly. "Koto-chan…"

The Uchiha Matriarch quirked an eyebrow, her lips curving into a smile. "You haven't called me that in years," she said, "I always thought it was cute."

"Yeah, well," the dragon blushed slightly. "I stopped calling you that when I realized my crush wasn't going away."

"I want you to start calling me that again," Mikoto replied softly but insistently. "Because my crush on you isn't going away anytime soon, either." With that said, she crushed her lips to his and pushed her tongue into his mouth, finding his own and dancing with it.

They broke apart a few moments later, breathing heavily. "Mikoto…Koto-chan," Naruto corrected at her flat look. "What do you want?"

"Besides the perfect ending to this evening?" She asked sultrily, one hand pulling down on the collar of her blouse while the other pushed his fully-unzipped vest off.

"No-well, yes, but out of this," he replied quickly, feeling his arousal tightening his pants. "Out of our relationship."

Mikoto sighed under her breath. "I was already married once before, and while I love Suki and Itachi, it wasn't the best time of my life. Fugaku was stern and driven, but never for me. When it came to our marriage, he was about as passionate as a bowl of porridge," she brushed her hair back, fingering the light orange petals of the daffodil. "And I don't want any more children. But what I do want is…this!"

She waved her hands at them, at the clearing around them and the stars. "With him it was duty to the Clan above all else, but with you it's…a picnic under the stars, furiously making out and rolling all over the grass! It's passion and romance, everything I missed, everything I should've had!" Mikoto declared loudly, "You're everything he wasn't and I love you for it."

Naruto reached up, cupping her cheeks and pulling her down, meshing their lips together. Their lips smacked together as he sucked on her tongue and rolled her over so that he was on top. "Then let me give you everything you missed," he murmured, kissing her lips before moving to her cheek, down her throat and to her collarbone, delighting in the quiet moans of appreciation she loosed.

He edged a finger under her blouse and pulled it aside, baring a breast that he attacked with his lips and tongue, nuzzling the soft flesh as his hand groped and kneaded the other. "Yes!" Mikoto moaned loudly, writhing sensuously underneath him as her hand entwined in his hair, "Yes! More!"

Naruto gave another strong suck before leaving her breasts behind, to her vocal disappointment, and trailed down her stomach, pulling the hem of her blouse up to kiss the skin of her belly directly until he reached the fork of her legs. He reached down and gripped her skirt, dragging it up her long, beautiful legs and exposing her womanhood to his gaze. "What's this?" He asked huskily, running a hand up her inner thigh to touch her naked lips. "No underwear, Koto-chan?"

Her face was flushed from the pleasure, but Mikoto still managed to blush. "I'm feeling adventurous," she admitted, biting down on her finger as he stroked her wet folds with his thumb, "More, darling, please…"

Naruto leaned down and kissed her lips, the Uchiha Matriarch jumping and gasping at the sudden contact before whimpering as his long, hot tongue licked her and dove in. Her hot velvet walls clenched around it as her thighs clenched around his head and she wailed with pleasure. It only took a few moments of licking, sucking and nibbling before Mikoto came, releasing a low, keening moan as she drenched Naruto's face in her juices.

Naruto pulled back, licking his lips and wiping his face while quietly thanking his lung capacity. He crawled up her body to her head, her hands gripping his shoulders spastically as she twitched in the aftershocks, groaning quietly as his exposed arousal pressed against her still-dripping womanhood.

Mikoto sighed as she came down, cupping his cheeks and kissing him softly. "More, please," she murmured, pecking him again and again. "I want all of you."

"Are you sure?" he asked softly, knowing her answer as he braced his knees and pushed into her.

"Yes," Mikoto whispered, throwing her head back as his length penetrated deeply into her core. "Yes! Yes!"

…

The moon was high as they walked back to the apartment building, Mikoto clinging to his arm with her satisfied, smiling face pressed against his shoulder. They didn't speak, the comfortable silence too nice to break, even as they stepped up to her door. Wordlessly, she unlocked the door and pulled him inside.

Sitting, actually lying, on the couch were the sleeping forms of Karin and Suki. The younger Uchiha had her head tilted back as the redheaded Uzumaki used one of her thighs as a pillow.

Mikoto smothered a giggle as Karin muttered in her sleep, rubbing her face against Suki's thigh and drooling. "Let's take them into Suki's room," she whispered to Naruto, gently separating the Uzumaki's head from the Uchiha's leg and waiting until he'd taken her into his arms before she did the same. They carried the two sleepyheads to Suki's room, laying them down next to each other and covering them up with a blanket.

As soon as they were on the bed, Karin latched on to Suki and started drooling again. The older Uzumaki and Uchiha pair left them to sleep, Mikoto grabbing his arm and pulling him into her bedroom. She pushed him on the bed, stripping off her blouse and tossing it aside. "I haven't gotten my fill of passion, yet," she murmured seductively, taking his hand and laying it on her chest. "And the night's still young."

…

The Next Day…

Lunch had been cooked and served by Naruto when the door to the apartment was thrown open and Tenten stormed in. Her brown eyes locked onto the Dragon sitting at the table with a fork in his mouth, before she launched herself at him, clearing the table and tackling him out of the chair. Naruto barely had time to go, "Bwuh-?" before he found his mouth sealed shut by her lips.

Samui turned a curious look on Yugao, who shrugged. "She's fangirling," she replied shortly.

Tenten resurfaced with an audible pop, a wide grin on her face. "I can't believe I got to meet Tsunade! THE Tsunade! The Slug Sannin! The Legendary Medic! The-"

"-Legendary Sucker," Yugito interjected with a smirk, and Samui chuckled as Karin blushed. "Our husband's intimately familiar with that aspect, right?"

Naruto gave her a flat look, gently pushing Tenten off of him and standing to make up a plate for her. "Eat lunch first, then we'll talk," he set a loaded dish in front of her, grasping her chin and pulling up so he could lean down and plant a soft kiss on her lips. "Welcome home."

…

"Okay, so let me get this straight," Tenten began slowly, her brow furrowed. "Not only did you stick your face in her cleavage, which was her idea no less, but you also had sex with her."

"Multiple times," Yugao added, scratching her chin thoughtfully.

The brunette Uzumaki frowned. "I don't know if I'm jealous or not…"

Yugito scoffed, leaning against the arm of her chair. "Seriously, Tenten? I know you fangirl over her a lot, but being jealous of your husband for having sex with her? That's a new low." She hummed. "I didn't know you swung that way."

"I don't!" Tenten protested hotly, though her face was boiling red. "I mean, I'm not, but I wouldn't say no if she asked…"

The last part was said so quietly if everyone else hadn't been a ninja or a werewolf, they wouldn't have heard it. They were, so they did.

"I knew you admired her, but not that much," Naruto mused as his wife buried her face in his chest in embarrassment. "Maybe I can introduce you to her in less official setting…"

Tenten babbled half-words, half in favor and half against, which only made her come across as somewhat crazy. Eventually, she just threw up her hands and crossed her arms, pouting and red-faced. "I hate you so much…" she groused.

"Pretty sure you don't," Samui commented, holding up her hand. "Otherwise…" She tapped the ring on her finger meaningfully.

"Oh shut up!"

…

Two Days Later…

Metal clashed and sparked as blades met, separated, then met again. "Sweep less! Short, sharp swings, then sweep!" Yugao barked, deflecting the series of strikes that followed from Suki. "Good! Now, first Dance of the Crescent Moon!"

"First Dance!" Suki shouted, her Sharingan spinning rapidly, flourishing her katana before laying it on her shoulder, the tip pointing at the former ANBU. "Waxing Moon!" She lunged forward, a Shadow Clone spawning directly behind her and leapt, spinning and slashing widely, her blade clashing with Yugao's and nearly pushing it aside; her clone struck immediately after, forcing the jonin's katana up and away. Suki followed through on her spin, switching her grip on the hilt of her blade and slamming it into Yugao's face with a crack.

Her clone jumped and pushed off the real one's shoulders, launching herself at the stunned jonin and unleashing a strike that sliced through Yugao's chest, the top third of her body arcing into the air with a spray of blood.

Suki's Sharingan locked onto Yugao's stunned, disbelieving face as it darkened into brown and lost cohesion, hitting the ground as a heavy rain of mud. "Good, very good!" The real Yugao clapped, standing from the tree she'd been leaning on. "Your follow-up hilt-strike was a bit slow, but that'll improve as your chakra pool grows."

The Shadow Clone, while whole and capable of fighting, had grey hair and sickly pale skin. It puffed away a second later, leaving the real Suki panting heavily as she sheathed her katana. "Just one Shadow Clone," she huffed, wiping her brow, "Wipes me out…I really need to work on my capacity…"

"Don't sound so disappointed," Naruto chimed in from his spot several feet away, where he had been sitting in a meditative position, the grass around him browned from the heat he was radiating. "The average jonin can make two at most; a rookie chunin like yourself making one that actually works is impressive."

"That's not helpful, coming from someone who's been able to make fifty clones since he was ten," the younger Uchiha shot back, though without any real heat.

"Who here has a chakra monster and a dragon in their stomach?" The dragon shot back, raising his hand. "My situation's completely different; by average standards, you're very impressive, Suki, so take the damn compliment."

She flushed embarrassedly, scratching the back of her neck sheepishly. "Alright, thank you," she grumbled, taking a break and sitting down. "Are you still trying to light yourself on fire?"

"Mmhm," Naruto hummed, closing his eyes as waves of heat rolled off him. "All I've managed to do so far is burn grass, but I'm getting there. It's only a matter of time, really."

"Maybe you need an emotional trigger?" His sensei provided, crossing her arms and leaning against a tree. "You're going the silent route, right? Maybe you should start with a vocalization, then move on to silent. You know, like most ninja do."

He arched an eyebrow at her, then nodded grudgingly. "Yol," he whispered, a stream of smoke flowing from his lips. The air shimmered violently, but nothing beyond that. "Yol."

Suki and Yugao watched as he sat and muttered to himself like a crazy person, breathing more and more smoke as his frustration mounted over a few minutes as no progress was made. Naruto paused, taking a deep breath before tilting his head back and releasing a gout flames with a shout.

"I am Dragon!" he yelled, taking a deep breath, "I am a creature of FIRE! So why is this SO DIFFICULT?! Yol-Toor-Shul!"

A tongue of white flame arced into the sky, meeting a patch of fluffy white clouds and burning them away in a cloud of smoke. "Troublesome!"

"…This is eating at you, isn't it?" Suki asked, a bit obviously.

Naruto gave her a flat look. "Yeah," he ground out, trying to calm himself down with steady breathing. "You'd think, being a dragon and all, that it would be pretty easy to do this, but no. Five weeks I've been at this, and all I have to show for it is burnt grass."

"I have an idea," Yugao announces, turning and jumping into the trees, leaving them alone.

Suki scratched her chin in thought. "How about I hit you with another Katon Jutsu, help you get in the right state of mind?" She offered.

The dragon grumbled under his breath, nodding slowly. "Might as well," he grumbled, sighing. "Which one?"

"Actually…" Suki smirked, her hands flipping through seals. "I came up with an original one."

"Really?" Naruto perked up, looking at her interestedly. "What's it called, and what's do?"

"Katon: Karyuudan!" she called, breathing a stream of flames that formed into a dragon. It actually looked a lot like Naruto's Dragon Form.

"Uh, that's not an origin-" Naruto started, before the flame dragon roared and unleashed a stream of fire on him before diving down, spinning into a ball that exploded on impact. Naruto's smoking body sailed out of the cloud of smoke that followed, crashing through a tree before hitting the ground and letting out a surprised, "Ow…"

The youngest Uchiha snickered, recalling the surprise on his face as the dragon breathed fire on him. "BITCH!" Suki jumped, whirling around at the sudden shout and took a kick to the side of the head instead of the back, getting sent through the air to slam into a tree. Through dazed eyes, Suki looked up to find Hanabi Hyuga, her Byakugan activated and glaring, her fists clenched and white-knuckled.

"What the hell, Hyuga?!" The Uchiha coughed, pushing herself up. Hanabi didn't deign to reply, instead lunging forward and unleashing a chakra-enhanced kick at her head. Suki ducked under the strike and rolled away, feeling a spray of splinters hit her back as the Hyuga's foot carved wide furrow in the trunk. She rolled to her feet, her Sharingan spinning to life. "That would've taken my head off!"

"Exactly!" Hanabi shouted, leaping at her again, kicking out rapidly.

Suki avoided the glowing legs, dodging through a series of chakra enhanced kicks. "Hanabi, I know we aren't exactly friends, since I like your sister much more than you," the slightly younger Hyuga twin snarled, throwing at a roundhouse kick and launching a blade made of pure chakra at the Uchiha. Suki puffed into smoke, leaving a log in her place that was sliced to pieces. "But seriously, FUCK OFF! Raiton: GIAN!"

A spear of blue lightning shot from her mouth, aiming directly at Hanabi's chest. The Hyuga blanched in fear for a split second, before a vicious smile curled her lips and she lifted her right leg high over her head. Suki only had a second to admire the flexibility Hanabi showed before she brought her foot down on the lightning bolt, smashing it into the ground. But, instead of fading, the lightning curled and sparked around her leg, her grin only growing.

"…Okay, what?" Suki managed before Hanabi shot across the clearing, her foot passing within an inch of the Uchiha's cheek. A blade of lightning punched a hole in the tree three feet behind her, her eyes widening as a long cut on her cheek opened up and bled freely.

"Rankyaku," Hanabi said by way of explanation, her expression victorious. Without dropping her stance, she pulled her leg back and unleashed another kick at Suki's head, the Uchiha ducking as a small spear of lightning flew over her head, piercing the tree. She rolled away as Hanabi jumped and backflipped, sending a blade of lightning chakra from her foot that barely missed her.

It impacted the tree, splitting it in half with a thunderous crack and hail of splinters.

The Uchiha and Hyuga stood across from each other, their special eyes flaring as they faced one another down. Suki's Sharingan spun slowly as she developed a plan, clenching her fists and waiting.

Unwilling to go on the defensive, Hanabi leaped forward, uncorking a straight kick at Suki's chest…which she had been counting on. She'd been training with Hinata, Hanabi and Nejiko for years, and she'd had the Jyuken used on her and seen it used for so long that she could replicate it to some small degree, and the Hyuga weren't the only ones who could seal chakra points.

She leaned aside at the last second, lightning slicing across her cheek once again, and drove two fingers alight with chakra into the side of Hanabi's knee, forcefully sealing the point. They both shouted as her control over the raiton chakra in her leg faded and burst outward, shocking them both.

They pushed themselves to their feet and faced each other on shaky legs. Suki growled. Clenching her right hand into a fist, the spiked knuckles on her gloves glowing with heat as she channeled katon chakra to them; Hanabi sneered, her hands alight with blue chakra, her fingers twitching.

At some unseen signal, they leapt at each other, striking out and aiming to bury their knuckles in each others' face.

"Wuld!" A green vest appeared in-between them, a large hand clamping down on their wrists. Naruto pulled on their arms, spinning them around and locking them against his body. "Anybody want to tell me what's going here?"

Hanabi struggled for a few seconds, before she realized who was holding her and relaxed in his embrace. "Naruto…"

"This bitch attacked me!" Suki shouted, struggling to pull herself out of his arm. "For no-!"

"What?!" Naruto said loudly. "Why are you talking so quietly?! Speak up, please!"

Suki paused in wriggling, looking up to find blood trailing from his ears. "Oh, you can't hear me," she muttered.

The dragon looked down at the girls, noticing their damaged states and saying, "Hold on, let me heal us." Spiraling rings of golden energy spun around them, chiming and ringing gently. All of their wounds faded away, leaving them fully healed if not a little tired. "Okay, so what were you fighting about?"

"Ask her!" Suki demanded, jerking her head at Hanabi. "She's the one who attacked me from behind!"

"I thought you tried to kill Naruto!" Hanabi yelled back, struggling to return to the fight.

They both sighed quietly as calming green magic washed over them, wiping away their anger and leaving peace. "Calm down," Naruto commanded. "As you can see, I'm perfectly fine. Why would you think Suki tried to kill me?"

"You crazy bitch," Suki added serenely.

"Shut up, whore," Hanabi replied in a tranquil tone. "I saw you two talking, then she ran through handsigns and shot a fire dragon at you. You were surprised before it hit you, and didn't get back up, and I thought you were dead so I tried to kill her."

The dragon shrugged, lifting them both up slightly. "To be fair, I was surprised. I didn't expect the dragon to breathe fire before becoming a bullet. Is that why you called an original?" he directed at Suki, who nodded.

"See, it means 'Fire Dragon Bullet', but in this case it means 'Fire, then Dragon Bullet'. It's a two-step jutsu," the young Uchiha explained. "My mother helped me make it."

"It's very impressive," Naruto nodded, before grimacing. "As to why I didn't get back up…well, I'm immune to fire, yes, but concussive force? Not so much. My brain was spinning in my head."

"Oh." Hanabi said quietly. "…So…I…"

"Tried to kill me for no reason?" Suki finished sardonically, "Yup."

"Oh."

"I think some distance would be good for you two," Naruto announced, setting Suki down. "Thanks for the help, Suki-chan. Let's aim for seven o'clock tonight, alright?"

She glared at Hanabi, leaning up on her toes and kissing Naruto firmly. "I can't wait," she murmured, turning and leaping off into the trees.

"You're taking her out tonight?" Hanabi asked in a small voice.

"Yeah," the dragon shinobi replied, sitting down and letting her go. "I'd say it was about time, and she's been more than patient." He turned his red gaze on her. "I've given you time, Hanabi. Did you come to a decision?"

"I…" She bites her lip, her hair covering her face as her head lowers. "Yes…I-I miss you," She admitted, playing with her fingers. "We're not as close as we used to be and I…I miss it so much. And it's my fault…"

"Not entirely," Naruto denied quietly, reaching over to grasp her chin and tilt her face up, "I mean, you did turn our relationship into some kind of competition with your sister, but you've always been competitive. It hurt that you kept score, yeah, but it didn't mean my feelings went away."

Hanabi gripped his hand tightly, pulling herself closer to him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "I came to a decision this morning," she murmured, pressing her face against the side of his neck. "I don't want to beat Hinata, or Suki or whoever…I just want you. You're not a prize to be won…I didn't even need to compete. All I had to do was ask. So I am."

"What are you asking, Hanabi?" Naruto asked lowly, stroking her cheek as she pulled back to look up at him with her pearl-like eyes. "What do you want?"

"I want you," Hanabi replied, reaching out and grasping the back of his neck. "Will you have me?"

"Yes," he said before she kissed him softly. For a girl as stubborn and headstrong as she, Hanabi kept the kiss chaste and gentle, her fingers spreading over his chest as she lifted a leg and straddled his lap. They broke with a quiet pop and she laid her head on his chest, simply enjoying the closeness and the sound of his heartbeat. "So…how've you been?"

The slightly-younger Hyuga twin giggled quietly. "Well, I discovered my chakra nature is lightning, and I've been working a few techniques to enhance my Jyuken with it-"

There was a rustle of leaves as Yugao landed in the clearing, her eyes taking in the newest scars, the addition of Hanabi and the subtraction of Suki. "What happened here?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips, a plastic bag brushing against her leg.

"Just a misunderstanding," Naruto said simply, stroking Hanabi's hair. "What's that?"

His sensei held the bag up, opening it up to reveal a bundle of red peppers. "My idea to help you connect to the fire."

…

The Next Day…

Naruto became aware of the warmth pressed against him and a small amount of pressure on his chest before he really woke up, groaning quietly as he eyes fluttered open and fixed on the ceiling. He blinked slowly, wondering why his bed felt different, before memories of the previous night came rushing back.

He'd met Suki at seven and they'd gone for barbeque, taking the time to themselves to talk and enjoy each other's company. It wasn't like they were strangers on a first date; while it was their first, they'd been friends for nearly a decade. They already knew each other's hopes, dreams and secrets, so their was no need for any talk of that.

Naruto enjoyed spending time with one of his oldest friends, and Suki enjoyed not having to fight for his attention.

Their night ended with a walk through the park and a cupful of cold mochi for each of them, followed by Suki leading him into her room, pushing him on the bed and losing her virginity before falling asleep holding each other.

The dragon shinobi looked down at the pressure on his chest, finding Suki awake and leaning on her elbow, gazing at him with a small smile and her Sharingan lazily spinning in her eyes. "Mornin', sleepyhead," she murmured, her unoccupied hand tracing formless patterns on his chest.

"Morning," he smiled, reaching up to cup her cheek. "Been awake long?"

"Maybe ten minutes," she shrugged, her naked breasts brushing against his skin. "I was just watching you sleep. You looked so peaceful…and you weren't talking, which is always good."

Naruto groaned and clutched his chest playfully. "Ow, my ego. You wound me, Suki-chan, right here."

Suki smiled in amusement, pushing his hand aside and kissing his chest above his heart. "Did that make it better, Naru-chan?" She asked mockingly.

"No, but it helped," he replied quickly, grinning at her. His eyes widened as he felt her slim hand slide down and grasp his half-hard length, slowly stroking it to full strength. Suki slipped her leg over him and sank down, groaning softly as she was filled.

"How about that?" she questioned, her eyes shining and her hips moving slowly. "Is that better?"

He exhaled quietly, gently pushing deeper into her. "Yes it is, Suki. Yes it is."

She leaned down, kissing him softly and slipping her arms around his neck as they slowly made love in the early morning. "Why didn't we do this sooner?" Suki moaned, heat building inside of her core.

Naruto didn't reply beyond clasping her to him and thrusting a bit harder. Within minutes, her hot walls clamped down on him and he emptied himself inside of her. Suki lay limply on him, listening to his heartbeat as it slowed, humming as his hand stroked her hair.

"When Itachi's dead," she announced quietly, making her oldest friend arch an eyebrow at her. "When Itachi's dead…you're going to propose to me."

"Oh?" Naruto asked, grinning softly. "That almost sounds like a confession, Suki-chan."

The youngest Uchiha reached up and rapped her knuckles against his forehead in reply. "I've been in love with you since I knew what that meant," she said, nuzzling her nose against his neck. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you…but not until Itachi's dead. I know he had his reasons, but he still killed innocent men, women and children who wanted nothing to do with the coup. He would've killed my mother and he tried to kill you just a week ago. I can't let him live."

"I know," he whispered, petting her back. "I'll be there to help."

"I know."

…

Six Days Later…

Naruto groaned, covering his face with his hands as he leaned on his desk, rubbing his temples with his fingers as a headache pounded in his skull. "Fuuuuuuck…" He reached out and grabbed a mug of Blackbriar Mead, bringing it to his mouth and taking a big gulp of the cold liquid. He sighed in relief and set it aside, turning his gaze back to the problem at hand.

Which, ironically, he had just taken a drink of. Let it never be said that starting a business is easy, even one as seemingly simple as selling alcohol. There was a permit for home-brewing alcohol, a permit for storing alcohol, a permit for transporting alcohol, a permit for selling alcohol, a permit for transporting alcohol over country borders, a permit for licensing alcohol, a permit for advertising alcohol, a permit for serving alcohol, ingredient inspections, factory inspections, storage inspections, health inspections and taste-testing.

Naruto was lucky his Shadow Clones could use Thu'um, otherwise he would've run out of drinks, and that they didn't need to sleep or eat and that his father could exercise some mental control over them so that they didn't try to knock off and get drunk.

Mira had actually been his biggest help when it came to automating his drink-making and ingredient-gathering. It turned out that dragon dung, coming from a creature of the elements, time and magic, made great fertilizer that could speed up the rate a plant grew and bore fruit or leaves. One week from planting, with a bit of oversight to water and weed, and a plant like vanilla, strawberries and or lavender would be ready to harvest.

That had been a very informative, and embarrassing, few days.

As he was filling out another permit, Naruto became aware that something was watching him, and it didn't feel like one of his lovers or friends. In fact, it felt…reptilian?

"Pssst," a quiet voice hissed. Naruto searched for the source and found it to be a grey snake with butter-yellow eyes. "I've got a message for you."

"Really?" Naruto asked, setting his pen aside in favor of giving the snake his full attention. "From Orochimaru?"

"Yeah," it replied, slithering up the leg of the desk and opening its mouth. Its' throat bulged as a scroll was pushed up from inside of it, which it deposited on the desk. Oddly enough, it was completely dry.

"Thanks," the dragon said quietly, unrolling it and beginning to read.

Hi bestie!

It's me, your bestie! Hey, you remember how I asked for a sample when we met? And you know how I forgot to get them after we got all fucked up? Heh, get it? Because of all the drinks and the sex? Good times…we should do that again sometime. But this time, we should kidnap Jiraiya and make him watch! He'll cry like a little girl walking in on her dad giving her mom buttsex! Ha!

Anywho, I need those samples. Please? For me? Your bestest friend/brother/possible yaoi love interest? Please…?

…Wait, this is all on paper! My heartbreaking despondent looks won't work on this! FUCK!

Anyway, you can't really refuse, since I've got blackmail. And by blackmail, I mean I took pictures. Lots of pictures. I got one of me and you spitroasting that redhead, one of Tsunade jackin' me off, one of you licking chocolate syrup off Tsunade's massive boobage…a lot of pictures.

But all they've really done is make me miss you more! *Sniff* I MISS YOU BESTIE!

So Imma need hair, blood and semen samples…heh…sailors. I also sent a letter to Tsunade, too. Hey, you could get the samples together! :D Take pictures!

I can't wait to see you guys again in Hi-to! Make sure to bring that tasty stuff…and some of your drinks, wink. I also sent some lyrics I've been working on! Tell me what you think!

Your best friend forever, and I do mean forever, immortality and all that,

Orochi!

P.S. Send nudes.

"Mm," Naruto hummed, scratching his cheek and grimacing. While he couldn't care less if Orochimaru released a bunch of pictures with him in them, people would probably congratulate him, actually, Tsunade really couldn't afford to take a hit to her image. Some people had protested her becoming Hokage based on her drinking and gambling in the past, and this, proof of her not only interacting with an enemy of Konoha, but also having sex with him and a subordinate would only add fuel to that fire.

The dragon sighed, scratching his chin as he grabbed a blank scroll and got to work writing a reply. "Can you carry this back for me?" He asked the snake.

"Yup," it replied. "I was instructed to not leave until you wrote back. Actually, I was told to start making innuendos about snakes and shedding skin until you did."

"Alright," he muttered, finishing up, rolling and sealing the scroll. "Here you go."

The snake unhinged its jaw and swallowed the scroll easily, its throat bulging for a second before going back to normal. "Also, after you gave me the reply, I was supposed to tell you: 'See what that snake did to that scroll? Wink.'"

Naruto sighed again, rubbing his forehead. "How do you deal with him?"

The snake shrugged…somehow. "In very small doses…and daydreams of alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol." It growled softly under its breath as it slithered off the desk and down to the floor. "Friggin' toads with their sake and refusing to share…hate them all…"

"Hey," Naruto said, getting its attention. "Do snakes have money?"

It turned back to him with a curious glint in its eyes. "If you mean valuable materials, yes. Why?"

"I have an idea…"

One Week Later…

"I wondered why she was giving me those looks," Tsunade mused as she drummed out a steady beat, her hands blurring a bit as she rattled off a long combination with ease that would make a professional jealous. "And not the usual, 'oh my god it's Tsunade, the strongest kunoichi,' or 'look at her tits,' but also the 'I'd do anything she asked' type. Not very unusual, really."

"Yeah, Tenten's generally very serious when it comes to being a kunoichi, but when it comes to you…" Naruto sighed, scratching the back of his head as he adjusted the strap of the guitar around his shoulders. "Anyway, have you figured out how we got these skills with our instruments? Because I haven't."

"Scientifically? No," she shook her head, her blonde bangs swaying. "It just comes naturally, right? So I don't think it was some sort ability-stealing thing. My best guess is that Sanguine, not wanting the fun to end because we couldn't play for shit. And he's some sort of deity, right? I think he just gave us the ability to play and didn't bother to take it away."

"…That does make sense," the dragon shrugged, strumming out a tasty jam. "I don't even have to think about the chords or the notes, I just play it out. Speaking of, did you get those songs I sent you?"

Tsunade twirled the drumsticks between her fingers, so fast that they became a blur and if she slipped, they would've punched through the walls. "Yeah, I did. You want to run through them?"

"Yeah, that's why I asked-"

"We are Dragonforce!" The future Hokage suddenly shouted, raising her sticks over her head. "One-two-three-four!"

They jammed for several hours, repeatedly play their parts in the songs, and a few they just liked. They sounded good, and their skill never waned, but they just seemed incomplete without the bass, keyboard and another guitar.

The long, mournful notes of the last song faded into silence, leaving the two tired and sweating. "Drink?" Naruto offered, unsealing a flask of cold Honey Mead and taking a quaff.

"Of course," Tsunade replied, holding out a hand and downing a loud gulp. "You drink this stuff more than water, you know. Not that I can blame you, this stuff is pretty good."

"Yeah, besides training or smithing, making alcohol was my stress relief," the dragon said, smiling slightly in remembrance. "The Old Man had to watch me carefully, and it was the only time we got to ourselves when he wasn't working or I was training. He helped me a lot when I was kid."

The Slug Sannin smiled, recalling her own experiences with the Sandaime. "He was like that with me, too. I always thought I was his favorite, being the niece of his sensei, but he treated us all the same. He did pay a bit more attention to Orochimaru, though…"

"Mm," Naruto hummed, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "So, did you get a letter from him?"

Tsunade turned a flat look on him. "Of course I did. He demanded that I get him blood and hair samples, as well as an egg, or else he'd release a bunch of photos from that night. He also said we should 'work together' to get the samples, and to also take pictures. And send him nude photos, for some reason." She rolled her eyes, setting her drumsticks aside. "Scaly white asshole…"

"Racist," Naruto chimed in, before his eyes went wide with horror. "Oh Akatosh, forget I said that."

She laughed at him. "Guess I'm not the only one who got rubbed off on!" She grimaced. "Now I feel dirty. I need a shower."

"Yeah," the dragon shinobi grunted, before turning a pensive look on the Sannin. "So…"

Tsunade smirked at him, pulling the bands binding her hair out and letting it freely flow down her back. "I'm not opposed to a…private exam, as it were. I have all the equipment I need to take the samples right here in my home, and a camera," she shrugged, letting the straps of her blouse fall down her shoulders. "It might not be the most sanitary method, but I'm not gonna complain."

Naruto pulled his eyes away from her legendary breasts, licking his suddenly dry lips. "You won't hear any from me," he assured, his fingers working at his shirt. "And you never know, we might need…multiple attempts. A few samples might get tainted with the methodology and all."

Tsunade threw her arms around his neck, pulling him to her and crushing their lips together, gasping in pleasant surprise when he grabbed her by the thighs and lifted her up, letting her legs wrap around his waist. "Oh, it better be more than just a few attempts…"

…

Two Weeks Later…

The smithy was belching smoke at a healthy rate as Naruto labored away inside, pounding away at a thin sheet of metal. Tenten stood behind him, working the bellows with one hand while holding another metal piece in the forge.

The dragon shinobi finished with the one he was working on, holding his hand out for the other. His wife passed it to him with a pair of tongs and he took it with a smile, shaping it with his hammer before linking the two together.

Over several hours of work, the pair of them worked together, shaping and cooling pieces of ebony until finally, when the sun had dropped beyond the horizon, they were done. Naruto finished with the last fastener and stepped back, leaving the piece sitting on a mannequin. "Well, what do you think?" He asked, putting an arm around Tenten's sweaty shoulders.

The armor had multiple flexible plates that would go around the stomach and waist, with thicker plates covering the chest and back. A low collar of ebony and leather connected the top, and a pair of small, simple pauldrons served to protect the arms. For ornamentation, there was a diamond-shaped piece above the sternum with odd runic writing decorating it, the collar and around the shoulders, and at the bottom of the armor.

"It looks nice; lightweight but protective, with enough room for flexibility and agility," she said thoughtfully, slipping an arm around his back. "Is it just me, or is it missing something?"

Naruto scratched his chin in thought. "Yeah, actually. I was going to put a coat of mail underneath it, but I'm just going to wear it over my jacket instead." He pressed a kiss to her temple, smiling as she hugged him. "I'm glad we got to spend some more time together. Between the contractors, moving our stuff out of the building, starting the business and missions, we just haven't had enough time to ourselves."

"The picnic was nice," Tenten agreed, poking a pile of shiny black ore with a toe. "And that vein of ebony ore we found really came in handy!"

"I think we have enough of it that I can make more of these for everyone else," he added, looking at his armor and mentally making adjustments for his loved ones. "That would be a nice gift, right?"

"I don't think Karin would appreciate it all that much, what with not being a kunoichi anymore," his wife replied with a shrug. "But yeah, I can see Samui, Yugito and Suki loving it. We might enough left for-Mira! How are you doing?"

The Nord Dragonborn nodded as she entered, flexing her fingers. "I remembered you saying something about ebony ore this morning, so I decided to stop by and see if…I…" Her gaze landed on the armor, her mouth working soundlessly for a few seconds. "…Where did you get that?"

"We just made it," Naruto announced proudly, "and we were talking about making a few more. Why?"

"You made it?" Mira asked, her gaze inscrutable. "How did you come by the design?"

The dragon looked up in thought. "Well, I was thinking about ebony armor, but I wanted to cut down on the weight, and it just came to me." He peered at her inquisitively. "You seem disturbed."

The Dragonborn nodded slowly. "I am," she replied quietly. "That design is almost exactly the same as the Ebony Mail, one of Boethia's artifacts."

"…Ah," Naruto said, grimacing. Boethia was the Daedric Prince of deceit, conspiracy, treachery and sedition, and having their attention on Naruto was not surprising, but also not a good sign. "I'm surprised you recognized it."

"The assassin who killed me wore it," Mira answered shortly.

"…Ah," Tenten muttered, scratching her cheek. "Well, we can always change the design-"

"It's fine," the Nord waved her off, "Just don't stand above me in the dark while wearing it. Now, let's get to work."

…

Two Days Later…

"Hey, kid!" An older man shouted, a straw hat hanging around his neck. "Come over here!"

"Hey, Tazuna," Naruto answered, leaving a pair of clones plus Aela to plant their garden. "What's up?"

The now-famous bridge-builder from Nami scratched at his beard and took a swig from a jug of sake. "Just wanted to give you a progress report," he replied, overlooking the construction. "We've laid the foundations and started with the supports, and I think we'll start on the outer walls and insulation by tomorrow. If we keep going at this pace, we'll be done in a week!"

The dragon smirked, leaning against the table. "Yeah, well, you know us ninja; we're fast."

"Fast, ha!" Tazuna barked a laugh. "If you were any faster, I'd be out of a job! As it is, with all your clones cutting down on the labor costs and that scary-faced fellow growing the wood, this whole thing's costing about a fifth of what it normally would. Hell, I'm pretty sure you two could make your own construction business!"

"Konoha Construction: Cheap, Quick and Easy, just like your mom!" Another voice added. Turning, the two found Jiraiya sitting against a tree with a wide grin on his face. "Yeah, solid clones are always a good way to make some quick cash."

"Hey, pervert, what are you doing here?" Naruto asked, though without any real heat.

"Super-pervert," the Toad Sannin absently corrected, his eyes sweeping over the multitude of clones, watching as a different figure, wearing ANBU clothes, clapped his hands together then slammed them on the ground. Pillars of wood shot out of the ground to be cut down by clones wielding axes, then hauled away. "How'd you get Tenzo to work with you?"

The dragon shrugged. "I offered him B-rank mission pay."

"Yeah, that'd do it," Jiraiya replied, turning to the other two. "I got a message from sensei about some interesting information and had to come back. Sensei wants to meet with us tomorrow and discuss it."

"Alright, I'll be there," Naruto said, standing up and cracking his neck. "Back to work."

…

The Next Day…

"So…Konan is the one gave you all this? Because she felt bad about killing you…" Jiraiya said slowly, lowering the scroll.

"She told me she'd been having misgivings about the Akatsuki's whole mission, and that seeing all the chaos she'd caused, Konan realized that their path to peace wasn't going to work," Naruto continued, drawing on the story he and the paper-wielding woman had developed. The fact that most of it was truthful helped, only leaving out the involvement of Dibella. "She's staying behind to continue watching their movements, and will report further."

The Toad Sannin leaned on the Hokage's desk, sitting across from Tsunade and on Hiruzen's left side. "I can't believe Nagato and Konan and are still alive," he muttered, rubbing his temples. "I thought they were dead…and Yahiko, his body being used as meat puppet by his friend…I'm going to be having nightmares about that."

"Tell me about it," Tsunade grunted, grimacing. "To think something like the Rinnegan can be used like that…it's surprising, just disappointing."

"And gathering all the Bijuu to make some kind of super-weapon?!" Jiraiya threw his hands up in frustration. "Did that boy learn nothing at all from me?!"

Hiruzen puffed away on his pipe, his meeting Naruto's. "We know who they are, their strengths and weaknesses; we can prepare to combat them. It says they can't make another move in the open, after the attack on Kumo, and they must wait two-and-half years for the Sanbi to reform." He released a cloud of smoke from his nostrils, looking very much like an old dragon. "That is more than enough time for us to prepare our counters and ready our attacks."

Tsunade nodded firmly, as did Jiraiya. "I've already started training, getting back to my old strength and growing new ones," the Slug Sannin added, clenching a fist and flexing her arm proudly.

"Good luck with that, Tsuna-chan," the Toad Sannin snorted, a touch bitterly. "At our age, we can only maintain our skills, and making new ones is so difficult it might as well be impossible. You know what they say about old dogs and new tricks."

Tsunade fixed him with a dirty look. "Did you just call me an old bitch?" She growled, cracking her knuckles.

As he rapidly denied insinuating such a thing, Hiruzen chuckled quietly. "Despite your choice in footwear, Jiraiya, you still manage to easily fit them in your mouth."

"And I think Tsume would disagree with you," Naruto pointed out. "Also, what are we going to do about Danzo? He's at least partially responsible for Akatsuki taking the turn it did."

"Indeed," the Sandaime muttered, chewing on the tip of his pipe. "It's possible he allied with Hanzo in an attempt to make an ally out of a former enemy…"

"…But it's more likely he wanted something to hang over Hanzo's head as blackmail, and get help for a coup," the Toad Sannin finished sardonically. "Honestly, I say we kill the one-eyed fucker and be done with it. He's too suspicious to let run free any longer."

"I agree with the idiot," Tsunade added, leaning her chin on her palm.

Hiruzen nodded slowly, his expression conflicted. "Let us make plans to deal with him, then." He turned to Naruto with serious brown eyes. "Go train, Naruto. I don't doubt we'll need your abilities in the coming years."

Naruto nodded and stood from his chair, bowing to the Sandaime. "I will, Old Man. Perv, when you've got the time, come see me. I have some ideas I want to discuss." He turned to Tsunade and paused. "How about we meet two days from now for another jam session? I'll make the snacks."

"And I'll bring the drinks," Tsunade grinned warmly. "I also wanted to take a look at those spells of yours."

The dragon smiled and vanished in a burst of flame, leaving the older ninja alone. "Never took you for a cougar, Tsuna-chan," Jiraiya said with some jealousy.

"I'm not, and shut up."

…

The Next Day…

He had given up on spontaneously lighting himself on fire for the time being, so Naruto decided to focus on the Rasengan. While it was powerful, it was loud, bright and obvious, and only useful up close; which made it fitting to use as either an opener or a finisher. He could form one with an open hand and an errant thought, and hold it pretty much indefinitely. Naruto had been trying to create two at once, which had been fairly easy.

All he needed to do for that was to repeatedly create a Rasengan in his left hand until it was just as natural as it was with the right, then switch between the two, then do both at the same time. It hadn't been used in combat, and Satsu had been getting restless and aggressive…well, more aggressive; he could grab an Elimination mission and take her with him.

Back to the point, the Rasengan lacked utility and he had some ideas for how to fix that, which he wanted to run by Jiraiya; given that he was very close to the man who invented the technique and all.

As he waited for the man to show up, Naruto held a Rasengan between his hands, staring down at the swirling blue orb. He fed more chakra to it, directing it to the shell around the grinding energy and watched as it thickened. With a flick of his wrist, he tossed it into the air and caught it a second later, the glow flickering before stabilizing as he fed it more chakra.

With a grunt, the Dragon thickened the shell again and threw it at a nearby training post. The Rasengan flickered immediately and burst a foot away from the pitted wood, a light breeze brushing the surface. Naruto sighed and formed another, mentally marking how much chakra he'd used and increasing it.

As he peered into the swirling depths, a thought occurred to him. Leaving it in his right hand, he brought up his left and called on a fire spells, brief flames sparking about his fingers. Naruto brought the spell closer to Rasengan, watching in fascination as the fire jumped, tongues of heat being pulled into the swirling orb. He inched them closer together and the chakra ball began to suck the fire inside of it, changing the high-pitched whine to a low roar.

The center began to glow, the flames merging with the chakra and becoming a miniature sun in the palm of his hand. "Wow," Naruto muttered, the shell of flaming Rasengan turning red. Then, it began to let off a screaming whistle. "Uh oh."

"Whatcha doin'?" Jiraiya asked suddenly, making Naruto jump and lose control.

The Rasengan detonated, sending Naruto flying and throwing up a cloud of smoke. Coughing, Naruto pushed himself back up, brushing soot off his vest. "By Oblivion," he shook his head, trying to get rid of the ringing, "did no one ever tell you not to startle someone working on a jutsu?"

"A couple of times," the Toad Sannin shrugged. "I never listen, though. You said you had some ideas?"

The dragon glared at him, but shook his head. "I do, about the Rasengan. It's powerful, but it's only really useful to start a fight or end it. Do you know any variations?"

Jiraiya grinned, throwing up a hand. "I do, in fact!" Blue chakra burst from his hand, swirling together into a ball the size of a beachball. "Behold! The Odama Rasengan!"

Naruto glanced between the man and the jutsu, blinking slowly. "Is that it?" He asked disappointedly. "That's barely a variation; you just made it bigger!"

"You know what they say, bigger is better," the Sannin replied with a shrug, before frowning. "And hey, it's more than you've got! What now, smart guy?"

The dragon cocked an eyebrow at him. "You're a ninja, you should know it's not the size, it's how you use it. Compensating for something, hmm? Don't answer that," he cut off Jiraiya's retort. "And I have more of an idea than just 'make it bigger.' Before you startled me, I was working on thickening the chakra shell and turning it into a projectile."

Jiraiya opened his mouth to refute him, but paused. "That's actually a good idea," he admitted grudgingly. "How far did you get?"

"I can toss it between my hands, but throwing it results in it dispersing before it can fly four feet," Naruto answered, grimacing. "It doesn't seem like a power problem, but I'm not sure."

"Show me," the Sannin demanded, crossing his arms. Naruto formed a Rasengan, shaping it with a thicker shell before tossing it at the training log. As before, it popped without doing any damage. Jiraiya hummed, tapping his chin. "It might be a question of size, actually. Making it smaller would reduce the surface area, making it fly faster, and reduce the amount of chakra needed. Try that."

The dragon chunin held his hand out, palm up, and created another spiralling ball. With some effort, he condensed the shell and shrunk the jutsu to the size of an orange. He pulled his arm back and threw it at the target; and this time it actually hit. The Rasengan impacted the log and ground away at the wood, before dissipating and leaving a faint circle of spiraling cuts. "Hmm."

"Try making it even smaller," Jiraiya suggested, looking down at his own Rasengan. "The blades are too large and take too much power to cut into it. Smaller surface would give a smaller area to cut, with smaller blades and even some piercing power."

Naruto breathed deeply, sinking all of his concentration into the ball in his hand. It shrank slowly, down to the size of an orange, then to a plum. The shriek it gave off went below human hearing and made his teeth shiver uncomfortably, gaining pitch as it became even smaller. He found that, no matter how hard he tried, he could not shrink it down beyond an inch-and-a-half, about the size of a large marble.

Feeling sweat beading on his forehead, Naruto drew his arm back and threw the tiny Rasengan. It left his hand with a sonic hum and a spray of blood, hitting the training log and piercing through it…and sunk halfway into the tree behind it, before detonating with loud bam.

Tilting his head, the dragon looked down at his hand and recoiled. "Fuck!" The small Rasengan had taken the tips of his fingers as it left his hand. A quick healing spell restored his flesh and bone, and a minute shift regrew his fingernails.

Jiraiya let out a low whistle. "That's got potential, kid," he said with a grin and a proud nod, examining the damage the miniature Rasengan had done. "The method of delivery needs some work, though."

Struck by inspiration, Naruto held his hand up, palm facing forward, and created a Rasengan on it. He had it shrunk to size in a minute, bracing his arm by holding it before the elbow with his other hand and flexed his hand as if shrugging.

The tiny ball shot away from his hand and ripped through a pair of trees before popping. Naruto smiled, wiggling his undamaged fingers. "That works," he murmured, cracking his knuckles and looking to Jiraiya. "I have a name, too: Rasendan. Spiralling Bullet."

The Toad Sannin nodded, crossing his arms. "This is good, kid. You said you had more ideas?"

"Yes, I thought about step two, popping the rubber ball, and how it would flatten out if done wrong. What if you flattened a Rasengan into a disk?"

…

A Week Later…

Naruto stood before a set of large, dark wooden gates about twelve feet tall. Many seals had been drawn around the base of the walls, to make them last longer and to keep intruders out, drawn by many clones with the Sandaime's help. In the center of the gates sat the Uzumaki clan symobl, updated to reflect the new head.

The body of the spiral was a deep black, with small, rippled edges like blades of obsidian, and the curved lines making the shape were a hellish glowing red, matching Naruto and Alduin's eyes. It was definitely imposing.

Sighing, the dragon turned to the members of his family; Samui, Yugito, Tenten and Karin, his wives and cousin; Yugao, his sensei; Mira and Aela, two Nords far removed from their own time; Mikoto and Suki, the last Loyal Uchiha; Tsume and Hana, close friends from the Inuzuka clan; Hinata, Hanabi and Nejiko, along with Hiashi and Hizashi, companions from the Hyuga clan; and finally, Hiruzen, Tsunade, Shizune and Jiraiya, the current Hokage, the soon-to-be Godaime Hokage, her apprentice and the Spymaster.

Satsu was also there.

"Well, everybody," he started, clapping his hands together. "After a couple weeks of construction, a boat-load of clones and a lot of wood, the Uzumaki Clan Compound is finally finished."

Only Jiraiya cheered, and received dry looks for doing so.

Naruto shook his head. "I won't keep you in suspense," he announced, turning and grabbing the handles of the gate, pressing his thumbs on a pair of hidden switches that sampled his chakra and blood before swinging open. "Welcome to our home."

A straight path of smooth grey stone cut through to the center, where the largest building sat. It was two stories tall and made of the same dark wood as the gates with lighter paneling, the clan symbol sitting at the apex of the roof.

The first building inside, to the left of the gate, was Ichiraku Ramen. It was much larger than their previous stand, with seven tables and a larger counter, with a larger menu that would be served with drinks made by Naruto and the Nords. Ayame and Teuchi waved cheerfully at them from behind the counter, their uniforms updated with the black and red Uzumaki swirl.

Directly opposite of them was the only other shop in the compound. It was closed at the time, but when opened, it would have a pair of racks and table laden with various potions, poultices and elixirs, with some drying herbs hung overhead for aesthetics and atmosphere.

Both shops and the drink-selling business would bring the most income into the clan besides missions, and would keep them supported for years to come.

Beyond those were a pair of sheds containing materials for a private smithy and a pair of long gardens, where herbs, potion ingredients, fruits and vegetables would be grown, which would cut down on food costs. And beyond that was a was small building that seemed to be a large outhouse, but was actually the landing of staircase that descended into a wide, mined-out cavern stacked wall-to-wall with barrels of mead, wine and ale.

To the side of the main house was a private bathhouse, and the guest rooms were on the other.

The main building could hold up to fifteen people, and more depending on how many were in one room. It had a big living room, dining room and kitchen with a sunken fire pit for roasting, a large bathroom and a few smaller ones, along with a number of offices for business.

"And to celebrate the completion of the Uzumaki Clan Compound, we're going to have a barbeque!" Naruto announced to cheers. He stepped towards the back of the compound and paused, his expression becoming one of confusion as he felt…something in his chest. It faded and Naruto shook it off, joining the rest in beginning the housewarming party.

…

Later That Night…

"The hell is this?" Yugito asked upon entering the main bedroom. There were a pair of dressers and a large closet, but the reason for the question was the bed; or rather, the lack of one.

Instead of a bed, there was bowl carved out of the ground, filled with a custom-made mattress and piles of blankets and pillows.

"Oh, that?" Naruto flushed. "It's well, something I've always wanted. I call it a Dragon pit. This way, we can all sleep together without rolling off the bed, or sleep at an incline or with our feet up."

Samui stepped over the lip and slid down to the bottom, flopping down on the mattress with a sigh. "I like it!" She called up, stuffing a pillow under her head. "Come on!"

Naruto jumped down after, smiling contentedly as his wife snuggled into his side and the others came down to join them, groaning in comfort and cuddling up together. "Welcome home," he murmured, kissing her gently before they fell asleep in a pile of bodies, blankets and pillows.

…

One Week Later…

"Arrgh! Why isn't it working?!" A tree exploded into splinters as Naruto punched it full-strength. He growled angrily as the trunk creaked loudly and fell over with a crash.

"Okay, it was kind of funny the first dozen times, but seriously," Alduin chimed in. "You're trying to light yourself on fire, yes?"

"Yes…" The younger dragon hissed aloud.

"So, you're trying to become a body of fire, radiating light and heat, yes?"

"Yes!"

Alduin paused incredulously. "And what would you call a body of fire, radiating light and heat?"

Naruto frowned tilting his head back to look up at the sun. "A Flame…Atronach?"

"Aww, thank you!" Ember giggled playfully, blowing kisses at him from within his mind.

"What? N-no, that's not-well, yeah, I mean it's technically true, but what-what is a body of fire? And it's not something magical!" The World-Eater growled, feeling a migraine coming on. "For as smart as you can be, you are goddamned dumb at times…"

The younger Dragon tapped his chin, thinking hard. "Are you saying I have to think like the corpse of someone who angered a dragon?"

Alduin opened his mouth to deny, only to work his jaw soundlessly. "I-I don't…No! Look at the back of your fucking hand!"

"What does that have to do with…?" Naruto looked down at his hand, where the Dawnbreaker was sealed into a white sun. "…The Sun…oh. Oh!"

"FINALLY!" The World-Eater cried. "Yes, the SUN!"

The Son of the World-Eater closed his eyes, focusing on the flame inside of him and built it, feeding it fuel and power until it roared underneath his skin, just as he had before. "Shul," he whispered, clenching his fists as the fire within erupted out of his pores, scorching the air and setting the grass around his feet alight.

Holding a hand in front of him, Naruto marveled at the fire covering his body like a layer of fur. There was no space between it and his skin; he was truly like the sun. Flame inside, flame outside.

It was like slipping on the best winter jacket in the middle of a blizzard, the heat comforting and almost natural.

"Summon me," Naruto heard Ember demand from his thoughts.

What? He asked slowly, still entranced by the feeling of the flames.

"Summon me. Now!" She shouted, her flirty persona entirely gone. Naruto flicked a hand, opening a portal that Ember charged out of, slamming into him and driving him to the ground.

"What the-" His protests were cut off as Ember kissed him roughly, her flames burning blue. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her away, gasping out, "Ember, seriously-"

Her hot, smooth metal lips crashed down on his again and she flexed her power, turning white and incinerating his specially-made fireproof clothing. "Do you know how long it's been since a male Flame Atronach has existed?"

"I'm not a Flame-"

"Close enough!"

"Oh yeah, that's right. Mehrunes Dagon turned all the Flame Atronachs into women because people kept summoning those ones." Alduin shrugged, settling down in Naruto's mind. "Go, son!"

…

One Week Later…

"Gonna get mine, get outta my way, there's gonna be (gonna be) gonna be HELL TO PAY!"

Click-Click-Boom-Boom.

"Keep rushing and a runnin'-runnin', the drummin' of the buckshot pumpin'; Got Molten Metal in my Veins~"

Click-Click-Boom-Boom.

"Keep rushin' and a runnin'-runnin', a Reckonin' a Lead is comin'; I'm Kickin' in the Gates of Hell again~"

"BRINGER OF PAIN!"

Naruto strummed strongly as they came to outro of the song, Orochimaru head-banging as he slapped the bass. Tsunade was sweating as she drummed faster, her noise overtaking theirs.

"RIP AND TEAR!" He growled into the microphone, strumming a few more chords before the music faded away. He looked up into the glass of room outside the soundbooth and met Touka's eyes. "That good?"

She held up a finger, replaying the last section of the song and listening closely on her headphones. As it finished, she nodded and gave them a thumb's-up and a big smile.

Naruto whooped high-fived Orochimaru, before turning and giving the same to Tsunade, Mio and Azumi. He passed bottles of water out, drinking deeply and wiping the sweat from his forehead. "Who knew how tough recording could be?" he asked aloud, leaning against the wall.

The Granddaughters of the Daimyo raised their hands, and the redhead asked, "What's buckshot, by the way?"

The dragon scratched his cheek, wondering how he could explain it when his father had given him the lyrics. "Some civilians use a cluster of lead balls in firearms to take down large game," Orochimaru answered, drawing surprised looks. "Most commonly used on large stags, hence 'buck' shot. What? The weaponry is primitive and any genin worth their salt could dodge it, but it's still interesting."

"Oh," Mio muttered, brushing her hair out of her face, looking down at her keyboard. "You guys worked so hard, but I just stood around."

The Snake Sannin chuckled lecherously, eyeing her bare legs and short skirt. "Oh, we'll find a use for you somehow," he said, licking his lips and laughing as she blushed heavily and looked away. "And by that, I mean we need piano in the next song, what did you think I meant?!"

"You know exactly what," Tsunade replied dryly, twirling her drumsticks. "And keep the flirting to a minimum, yeah? If one of 'em faints, who has to wake them up? Me. And it wastes time."

"Speaking of wasting time, break's over!" Touka called over the PA. While she did enjoy playing, the Yakuza had announced that she was going to be their manager, since they already had two guitarist, a bassist, a drummer and a keyboard, they didn't need one more. "The next song's called 'Saturday Night's Alright."

"You know, I never took you for a songwriter," Naruto commented to Orochimaru as he tuned his guitar.

"I could say the same for you," the White Snake teased, "Handsome, talented and creative? My, my, aren't you the full package?"

"Let's not talk about my package," the Black Dragon said flatly, giving Orochimaru a narrow look, "Let's get to making music."

Tsunade started them out before Naruto and Mio joined in. Orochimaru stepped up to his mic and took the lead. "It's gettin' late, have you seen my mates? Ma, tell me when the Boys get here; It's seven o'clock and I wanna rock, wanna get a belly fulla beer," he shook his hair out, smiling as he sang the lyrics. "My old man's drunker than a barrel fulla monkeys and my old lady, she don't care; My sister looks cute with her braces and boots, a handful of grease in hair."

The guitars picked up and Azumi joined in, her fingers enthusiastically dancing over the keys as they joined Orochimaru in the chorus. "Oh~! Don't give us none of your aggravation; we've had it with your Discipline. Saturday night's alright for fighting, get a little action in!"

…

The Next Day…

Naruto and Orochimaru sat next to each other on a pair of reclining chairs, watching the sunset and drinking a pair of sodas. The noise of the party for the completion of their very first album thumped from the door behind them, but neither were feeling the need to socialize at the time.

"So," the Black Dragon started, sipping his drink. "You seem calmer."

"Mm," the White Snake nodded, putting a hand behind his head. "I am calmer. I've had so much stress taken off of my shoulders lately, and it feels really good to relax. No need for me to go rushing around, searching my ass off…now I can take my time."

Naruto frowned slightly, wondering what he meant, before his eyes went wide and he glanced at the Sannin. "You mean…"

"Yup!" Orochimaru laughed, "You're looking at the world's newest Immortal!" The White Snake cackled at the look on Naruto's face.

"…How?" he managed to ask.

"Well, you know those samples I had you send?" He grinned as Naruto flushed and looked away. "Thanks for the pictures, by the way. I could've done with Tsuna-chan not taunting me in all of them, but she was naked so I wasn't looking at that anyway. Anyways, I used the DNA I got from both of you to create a new body that I grew to it's prime, then I took some of your dragon blood and scales and used a ritual that bound our souls together. You might've felt faint a couple of weeks ago, and that was why."

"You…" the Black Dragon gave Orochimaru an incredulous look. "You tied our souls together?!...How?! And how did you get blood and scales from my Dragon form, I never gave you those!"

The Snake Sannin arched an eyebrow at him. "You remember what I was in Kumo for, right? I had a few clones gather blood and scale after Konan chest-raped you with her big paper dildo, and I got some more bone samples while you were reviving. All that, plus a little ritual I made up-"

"That Sanguine gave you," Naruto corrected, remembering the Daedric Prince handing Orochimaru a note.

"That Sanny gave me," he acquiesced, "And I tied our spirits together. Well, not so much tied equally, but…you know how sailors tie themselves to a mast during a storm so they don't get swept overboard?"

Naruto gave him a bland look. "Vaguely."

"Well, it's like that," Orochimaru finished. "Except my soul is tied to yours. And the rope is made of unbreakable metal. And it's a sexy slave collar. And the mast is shaped like a giant dick."

"Thanks for that imagery," the dragon grumbled, sipping his soda. "So, I'll never be rid of you, then?"

"Nope!" The Snake Sannin whooped, throwing an arm over his shoulder. "I'm sticking around like an STD! Just when you think I'm gone for good, I'm back and all up in your privates!" Speaking of…" he waggled his eyebrows and leaned in.

Naruto grabbed him by the face and pushed him away. "No."

Orochimaru crossed his arms and pouted outrageously. "Fine! But you'll fall to my charms eventually! Like a snake charmer, except the snake, which is me, is the one doing the charming. And the flute is my-"

"I get it, thank you!"

There was silence for a few minutes, before the Sannin finished off his drink and tossed it over the balcony. "Welp, I'm gonna go see if Tsunade won't give me a blowy! Wanna watch?"

"If only because seeing you fail will be amusing."

"I'm so proud of you!"

…

One Month Later…

It ran for its life, thundering through the undergrowth and panting tiredly. A chorus of howls rang out behind it and a desperate energy shot through its body, briefly increasing its speed.

Above it, a dark creature leaped from branch to branch, its long tail barely skimming the leaves of the trees. It landed on a thick bough and coiled itself, launching through the air to land on a branch in front of the bear. Hellish red eyes glared down at it, its black hide glinting in the low light as it opened its maw and breathed a stream of flames at the ground below.

The bear skidded to a stop right before the crescent of fire, shrieking in terror as the gashes on its body flared with pain. It turned to face its predators defiantly, hackles raised to roar, when a large brown shape slammed into the side of its head, driving it to the forest floor. Its life ended with a whimper as the creature tore out its throat and began to rip at its belly.

As the brunette creature tried to chew through the hide of the corpse, the black creature jumped down and approached, barking authoritively. When the other snarled at it, it slapped the other in the back of the head with its tail, and the wolfish cried yelped and shied away.

It turned to see two more creatures loping up, colored auburn and dark blonde respectively. The black creature turned to the bear's corpse and used its claws to begin skinning it, as the lupine creatures barked at each other. When the first was done, he barked at them and they tore into the body, eating ravenously until very little remained but bones and organs.

The brunette creature shivered, growling as smoke began wafting off its body, pouring out until the cloud engulfed its form before fading away as Hana fell to her hands and knees, panting. The other creatures followed suit, the one with auburn fur burning away to reveal Aela, the blonde one to reveal Mira, and the black one shifted and shrank into Naruto.

They all had blood around their mouths, and also entirely naked. "Why do we have to be naked when we transform?" Hana groaned, pushing herself onto her feet.

"Because shifting while wearing clothes would shred them, and wardrobes aren't cheap," Aela replied, brushing a few leaves and twigs out of her hair, uncaring of her nakedness.

"Though it might be possible that the Savior's Hide would shift with you," Mira added thoughtfully, "It is Hircine's artifact, after all. And if it didn't…we know healing spells."

"Wouldn't I just shred that, too?" the Inuzuka asked with a shrug.

Naruto shook his head. "Daedric Artifacts are very resilient. It'd be like wearing a metal-banded corset pulled too tight. As Mira said…we know healing spells."

Hana hummed, turning to view the bear corpse. "So, how'd I do today?"

The dragon rolled his neck, stretching his arms and his back. "Well, you were a bit better about following orders, but you still rushed ahead and got lost in the kill. Not that that's a bad thing, but something to work on." He smiled, putting a hand on her shoulder. "All in all, you've improved, Hana."

She smiled, her cheeks pink and she moved forward, wrapping him in a hug. "Thanks, you guys. I'm grateful to you for teaching me all this."

Aela smiled proudly. "You want to learn, and it's the least we can do," she replied.

Naruto hugged Hana, patting her back. "We're still naked, you know." His arousal was pressing against her thigh, so she knew damn well they were bare as they were born.

Hana looked up at him, her eyes shining as she licked her lips. "Oh, I know. My blood's still up, and I've got a better way to work it off than another hunt."

The Huntress grabbed his arm, holding it to her chest. "I agree," she murmured, her blue eyes glinting with yellow.

Naruto looked to Mira with an arched eyebrow, and the Dragonborn shrugged. "Why not?"

…

One Month Later…

It was a bright, sunny day in Konoha, the perfect time for the civilians and ninja to be out in force, standing beneath the balcony on the second floor of the Hokage tower. Hiruzen Sarutobi stood above them in full Hokage regalia, a benevolent gracing his face as he gazed warmly down, his wrinkled face in a kind smile. He raised his arms and silence instantly fell.

"People of Konoha! Citizens! Ninja! Today I come before as the Sandaime Hokage," he announced, drawing muted cheers. "For, once again, the last time. I have led you through war and peace…and we have thrived! Thanks in part to our Ninja Forces, but also in thanks to you, who work day in and day out, living among us and making us great!"

The ground shook slightly under the force of their cheering, but fell silent when the Sandaime raised a hand.

"I have given Konoha my life, to serve my fellows in leading and directing them, pruning and feeding them to shine in the light of the Sun!" he thundered, holding his hands high, "But, as my spirit still burns with might…time does not ignore anyone, even myself, and I have found that I can no longer lead you the way you deserved to be led!"

Many among the crowd shouted denials, praising him for his ability and leadership.

"I can no longer serve as your Hokage, and my talents are now better suited not leading from the front, but advising and teaching, passing my multitudes of knowledge and experience on to the younger generation! So that they may flourish, and lead us into a new age of Peace, and Prosperity!" The crowd roared, stomping their feet and yelling. "To that end, I have found you a new Hokage, one who I know will be great! It is not only in her blood, but in the strength of her body, her mind and soul! She is the Granddaughter of the Shodaime Hokage, Hashirama Senju! The Niece of the Nidaime Hokage, Tobirama Senju! And a Student of myself, the Sandaime Hokage! She is Tsunade Senju! She is…your Godaime Hokage!"

Tsunade strode up next to him, beaming a wide, sunny smile to the masses, who cheered wildly at her appearance.

Hiruzen turned and picked up a torch made of white wood, the top burning with multicolored flames. "Tsunade Senju…will you, as Hokage, lead your Ninja in laying down their lives for us all?" He asked gently, though his voice was easily heard by all.

"I will," she swore seriously.

"Will you, as Hokage, watch over our Citizens, and be ready to defend them at all costs?"

"I will."

"And will you, Tsunade Senju, as the Godaime Hokage, carry with you always, the Will of Fire?" The Sandaime Hokage asked, his entire visage deadly serious. "To not only, if asked, sacrifice the lives of your Ninja in defense of our home, sacrifice the lives of your Citizens in the defense of our heart, and to sacrifice yourself, in the defense of ALL?"

Tsunade reached out and took the torch, gazing into the flames dancing atop. "As I said when I swore my oaths as a Kunoichi of Konohagakure, I would gladly lay down my life for my comrades, for how could I ask others to do what I cannot?" Her expression was firm as she declared. "I will protect you all! This is my vow, not only as a Kunoichi, not only as a Doctor, but as your Godaime Hokage!"

She thrust the torch into the air, to screams of joy and exultation. The ground shook as they cheered and yelled, jumping and waving their arms.

Hiruzen gently pulled off his robes, neatly folding them and placing his hat atop the stack, holding them out to Tsunade and bowing deeply. Tsunade set the torch in the sconce at the front of the balcony, then delicately took the Hokage's vestments, carefully donning the robes and placing the hat on her head, standing before the crowd, for the first time, as the Hokage.

"Ladies, gentlemen…I give you Tsunade Senju! The Godaime Hokage!" he announced grandly, holding his arms high, "Long may she reign! Long may her reign be prosperous!"

"Tsunade! Tsunade! Tsunade!" The crowd chanted as she bowed to them, her eyes alight beneath the shadow of her hat.

"My people!" she called, raising her hands for silence, "As my first decree as Hokage…eat, drink and be happy! Enjoy the festival!"

The crowd cried out in happiness, long after she left the balcony, and the festival lasted long into the night.

…

A Few Days Later…

A trio of soft knocks came from the door, drawing her from her book. Kurenai stood from the couch, where she'd been debating on making dinner, and approached the door, opening it up. Naruto stood on the other side, a plastic bag hanging from one of his hands, filled with small containers and a dark bottle. "H-hey, Kurenai," he greeted nervously.

The jonin blinked in surprise. "Naruto!" She exclaimed, her lips curling in a warm, pleased smile as she stepped forward and hugged him tightly. "It's been awhile; I'd almost thought you'd forgotten about me!"

The dragon shinobi chuckled, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry, Kurenai, I've just been so busy with the businesses, trading and selling and training I just…got caught up in all of it. I'm sorry." He held up the bag, the items inside rustling. "I brought takeout and wine, so we could have a little…date night?"

"That sounds lovely," Kurenai pulled him into her apartment, closing the door as he took off his jacket and hung it on the stand, before skipping into the kitchen to grab utensils and glasses. Naruto eyes followed her, watching the hem of her short, white silk robe bounce, revealing tantalizing glimpses of her thighs and flashes of dark red.

She came back with a small smile and a pleased blush, having felt his gaze. "Here we go," he announced, setting multiple small plastic containers on the table. "Tempura vegetables and shrimp, chicken teriyaki, takoyaki, noodles…a little bit of everything. And for the drink…"

Naruto uncorked the bottle, pouring equal measures into the glasses. The wine was a soft pink color, bubbling softly and releasing a pleasant fragrance. Kurenai delicately grasped the stem of the glass, bringing it to her nose and sniffing. "It smells like…roses?" She guessed, her lips quirking as her lover nodded. She took a small sip and hummed in enjoyment. "It's sweet, but not too sweet. What's it called?"

"It's-uh, it's called 'Konoha Rose'," he admitted with an embarrassed blush. "I, uh, I named it after…after you."

Her red eyes went wide in surprise, before she blinked and they began to water. "You did?" She murmured, her cheeks pink.

Naruto looked down at the glass in his hands, playing with it as the liquid within bubbled gently. "Yeah. It smells a bit like roses, with a delicate hint of strawberries and spices; so it's strong, but not overwhelming, sweet but not saccharine with a full-bodied flavor and…and," he gulped quietly, feeling like a kid talking to his first crush. "I mean, it was supposed to come out red but it came lighter than I thought it would but I liked it alot better than I thought I would and I just thought it was a…fitting…name…"

"Akatosh," the World-Eater groaned, palming his face. "This is painful to watch…"

"Yeah, like a rabbit pinned to the ground while a wolf stalks it," Kyuubi added, her voice simmering in jealousy.

"It's adorable!" Ember cried, the smoke drifting off her body forming into little hearts. "Go sweetie, go!"

He was drawn out of his mind when Kurenai reached over and took the glass from him, setting on the coffee table with her own before she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. She slid onto his lap, pushing on his shoulders until he was laying back on the arm of the couch with her on top of him. They lay there for a long while, kissing and cuddling, her ruby lips smacking quietly against his as her hands slipped through his hair.

Kurenai parted from him, her face flushed and radiant. "I think it's sweet," she murmured, pecking his mouth. "Thank you."

He tilted his head up and kissed her again, running a hand through her messy raven tresses. "The food's getting cold," he whispered.

"Mm," she hummed, sitting back and grabbing a carton, folding the top back and taking a bit fried shrimp in her chopsticks as Naruto took a bite of takoyaki. "Mm! Who made this? It's delicious!" She said thickly, her mouth full. The jonin flushed slightly and covered her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Ichiraku Ramen," he replied, taking a bit of teriyaki for himself. "They don't just make ramen anymore, and they're really good at it. Mm, speaking of, try this teriyaki."

Kurenai took the bite from his chopsticks with a small smile, moaning in enjoyment. "Here, try the tempura!"

As they ate, trading bites every so often, they talked about small, inconsequential things. What small changes Tsunade had made to the Medical Corp., how her team was doing, the rumors about the new Yukie Fujikaze movie, hanging with Anko, business and such.

As Naruto slurped up the last strings of noodles, Kurenai finished her second glass of wine and set it aside, her eyes glittering pink as she turned his head and kissed him passionately. Her tongue pushed through his lips, and he could taste shrimp and wine.

Before they could go any farther, though, the dragon pushed her back. "What?" She whined, pouting fiercely. "We had dinner…now, dessert."

She drew back as Naruto held up a paper bag. "Dango," he answered quickly. "I know you don't like overly sweet stuff, so I skipped the red bean soup."

Kurenai took a skewer with a blank face, examining the dumplings critically. "What are you doing?" She asked flatly.

"Hm?" He replied with a skewer in his mouth.

"You come by with a wine you named after me, with dinner and even dessert in hand, but when things get heated, you push me away. Why?" The Genjutsu Mistress' eyes went wide. "Oh no. This is a breakup, isn't it?"

Naruto peered at her cluelessly, before frowning and flicking her nose. "No, I'm not breaking up with you," he said blandly. "I just don't want to sex right now, okay? It seems like we never visit, we just meet and fuck and cuddle and that's it. And while I'm not going to complain, I just want to spend some time with you. Is that so bad?"

The pink inside of her eyes meant that Dibella was actively looking through Kurenai at him, and both were surprised. "You…want to spend time with me?" They asked in confusion.

"Yeah," he nodded, a stern look on his face. "You're an amazing person and I want our relationship to be built on more than just sex, okay? You've got a book, I've got let's just sit here and enjoy ourselves, alright?"

"Al…alright," Kurenai murmured. She grabbed her book, lying down on the couch with her head propped up on his thigh. His arm rested on her chest, just under her breasts, his thumb stroking her side with his other hand holding his book.

An hour passed, the sun setting, and Kurenai paused in her reading. I wonder what he's reading, she thought, tilting her head to take a peek. Maybe a book on sealing, or jutsu?

"That boy," Marcus grunted, drawing Gaius' attention to the two boys sparring with wooden poleaxes, pointing his chin at one with darker skin, his eyes a glacial blue and shaped a bit differently than the others. "Notice somethin' about him?"

The Master Lawbringer scratched his rough beard, narrowing his one good eye. "He's silent," he noted, watching carefully. "Even when he's struck, he doesn't speak. And he only shouts when he strikes heavily."

"Quiet as the grave," the younger Lawbringer muttered, shifting uneasily.

…

Blackstone stood over the panting form of the young girl, her wispy blonde hair splayed over the grass. "Quite impressive, Mouse," he nodded, "you lasted longer than I thought you would."

She looked up at him with wide green eyes, her face flushed. "I will get stronger," she vowed quietly.

"Not without proper rest and nourishment," the Lawbringer rebuked softly, holding out a waterskin. "Drink and rest, Mouse. We still have to travel today."

Kurenai blinked, realizing she had no idea what he was reading. Shrugging to herself, she settled back and let her mind fall into her book.

Night deepened outside, and she could feel herself getting tired. Naruto switched hands, holding his book in his right while using his left to stroke her hair. After not even ten minutes of that treatment, her book slipped from her fingers and fell on her chest, sliding off her silk robe to thump on the floor.

Naruto looked down on her peaceful sleeping face, brushing her cheek with his thumb. "Dibella," he intoned softly.

Her eyes snapped open, pink overtaking her entire eye. "My Love," she greeted with a beaming, gentle smile with an edge of hunger to it.

"I had some questions," he continued, getting a nod. "What you did to me…when I wasn't born, that made me so…magnetic. That's not going away anytime soon, is it?"

Her smile disappeared and she nodded slowly.

"And you won't remove it, will you?" Naruto asked quietly.

"My Love," She whispered, reaching up to stroke his cheek. "To remove it from you now, would be like removing your jaw. It is a part of you, intrinsically. I couldn't, even if I wanted to. And I don't."

He sighed heavily, leaning his head back on the couch. "Then, I guess, the only thing I can do is accept it as part of me. I swear, whoever falls prey to this curse," Dibella frowned. "I will give them all the love I can, and give them a wonderful life."

The Goddess of Beauty gazed up at him, her face blank. She continued to stare as he slipped an arm under her knees and picked her up, carrying her into the bedroom and flicking the lights off behind him. He set her down next to the bed, his eyes locked on hers, undoing the belt around her middle and stripping the robe off of her.

Underneath, she wore a simple dark red bra with matching underwear that stood out on her pale skin. With nimble fingers, he unsnapped her catch, letting her substantial breasts bounce free; but his eyes never left hers.

Naruto picked her back up, pulling the blankets back and slipping underneath them with her. He cupped her cheek, his gray skin against her pale. "Dibella…Kurenai," he murmured, "there's something I need to tell you."

One of her eyes regained the wine-red iris. "Yes/Yes?" They asked, voices layered.

"No matter how we met, or how we came together, nor how we're staying together, I want you to know that I accept it. I accept you. I…" He took a deep breath. "I love you."

Their eyes widened, tears pooling in them. "You do?" They gasped, grasping his face.

"I do," he replied, nodding slowly.

They leaned forward and kissed him, her lips hot against his. "Say it again," she pleaded, stroking his cheeks.

"I love you," Naruto repeated, wrapping his arms around her as she buried her face in his neck.

"Say it again," they asked softly, clutching him tightly, tears running down her cheeks.

"I love you."

…

At The Same Time…

Tsunade finished signing another packet, setting it aside and rubbing her eyes tiredly. Her wrist was sore, as was her back, and her only thoughts were of bed.

"Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked, peeking around the doorway, looking even more weary than her master. "Your last appointment's here."

The Godaime grunted in acknowledgement, waving them in. "Good, there's a bath with my name on it."

The man who entered was middle-aged a bit portly, but he positively bounced with energy and his eyes glittered. "Hokage-sama!" he greeted far too cheerfully for midnight. "I have a proposal I want to run by you!"

"You're not part of the Civilian Council," she noted, eyeing the stack of papers warily. "You're…Asano Meiko, the director of the Yukie Fujikaze series."

"That I am!" He announced proudly, planting his hands on his hips. "Please, read my offer!"

Tsunade sighed, her tired honey eyes skimming over the words. She sat up, staring down at it, flicking through the pages before looking up at him with raised eyebrows. "Tell me more…"

…

…

…

…

A/N: And bam, there you go. If you were confused about that ending, it was Naruto accepting that Dibella permanently messed with his life and accepting that there are no takebacks, and for good or bad, he's stuck with her.

Fucking hell it's been some time since I updated this! Christ, you'd think I was procrastinating or something. Except, actually, I've been working, full-time hours in a part-time position, natch, also writing chapters for my other stories including Still Not A Hero, which is nearing the finale, and also a bunch of other stories that I released last month for your perusal and voting.

And if the chapter title confuses you, here's a question: What does a big-ass pizza have? A WHOLE LOTTA SLICES!

Because this is a big ol' slice o' life chapter. It covered about six months of life, all told. I hope you enjoyed it, because my hands certainly didn't.

And look at that, new techniques, to show that no one's just sitting around with their thumbs up their asses, all getting stronger and shit. It's good, man, real good. I like expressing my imagination, you know?

Also, big news yo. All my work has paid off, in the form of myself buying an Xbox One, with BF1 and Titanfall 2 and Overwatch later. If you want to play with me, now you can! I don't have a mic, though, so you're gonna have to deal with that. I am, as always, called Soleneus. Hit me up.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter and are looking forward to more, because next up, we've got the Shoot of a Lifetime Arc coming up next. Nords, Ninja and Snow, what more could you ask for?

Big thanks, as always, to NorthSouthGorem and Kurogane7 for all that shit they put up with. Why don'tcha give 'em a look and let them know I sent you!

Stay Awesome!

~Soleneus

P.S.: Hey, if you like me and my writing, or Naruto's not your favorite, check out my other stories! There's The Guardian of the Avatar (a Naruto x ATLA cross, if you're into that sort of thing), The Life With Monster Girls (A slice of life MonMus fic, if you're into that sort of thing), Dare To Wander (a Fallout 3 fic, if you're into that sort of thing), Still Not A Hero (Second in the Hero Series and almost done, if you're into that sort of thing).

And I just published four more fics for your perusal, if you like them, vote on the poll to see more! And they are The Scoop of a Lifetime (a Harry Potter story, if you're into that kind of thing), Bear Necessities (a RWBY story, if you're into that kind of thing), Old Soldiers (a Destiny story, if you're etc.) and Savior, Destroyer (a For Honor etc. etc.)

Stay Awesome Some More.

~still Soleneus