I Can't Let You Go

Ichigo x Rukia

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

I Can't Let You Go

"The minute you think of giving up,

think of the reason why you held on for so long."

"..You're really leaving in two days?" The substitute shinigami asked as he sat up on his bed. Rukia had been staying at his house (well, in his closet) for about 5 months. Soul Society had sent her to protect Karakura Town from hollows. Although Ichigo was there, they guessed that he probably couldn't handle some of them alone. Eventually, the hollow attacks have been happening less often so there was no need to have another shinigami in Karakura Town. Soul Society had called Rukia back and she must return in two days.

"Yeah, shouldn't you sound happier than that? Wasn't I always an "annoyance" or a "pain" to you?" Rukia jokingly questioned as she placed a hand on her hip.

"Heh, all the time. But I feel like I was just getting used to you here being in my closet." smirked Ichigo.

"Shut up, baka." Rukia teased as she went to sit on Ichigo's rolling-chair.

"Hmm, so since the day's almost over, all the time you pretty much have left is just all of tomorrow and then you have leave the next day?" Ichigo questioned. Right now, it was about 10:00 pm.

"Yup, that's about right," Rukia said as she placed a finger on her chin.

"Ah.. I see.." Ichigo exhaled.

So.. let's do something tomorrow!" Rukia suggested.

"Eh? What are you talking about?" Ichigo asked with a bored look on his face.

"What do you mean? Ichigo, it's my last day tomorrow. When I leave, we probably won't be able to see each other in a long time. Hanging out tomorrow is the least we can do. Plus, who cares if you miss school? It'll just be one day and you already missed a bunch of days before for training." Rukia tried to convince.

Ichigo sighed. "Fine. What do you wanna do?"

"Hmm.. what should we do..?"

"It's your last day so you pick."

"..Walk around the park." Rukia answered shyly.

"..What?" Ichigo asked. He wasn't expecting an answer like that.

"Sorry! It's stupid. I'll pick another place." Rukia sputtered, embarrassed by what she just said.

"No, it's fine. Like I said, it's your last day so you pick what we do. We'll go to the park tomorrow." Ichigo announced.

"Thank you, Ichigo." Rukia smiled softly. He probably couldn't tell, but she was really, really happy.

Seeing Rukia smile, Ichigo couldn't help but a smile a bit too.

"Rukia, are you ready yet?" Ichigo asked impatiently as he knocked against his closet door.

"Hold on!" Rukia shouted through the door.

A few minutes later, the closet door opened and Rukia jumped out.

"Okay, let's go!" Rukia cheered as she walked out of Ichigo's bedroom door. Sighing, Ichigo followed behind.

It wasn't long until they were at the park. The park was big. And since it was autumn, the trees were orange, red, and brown. But most of the leaves were on the ground. The scene was really beautiful and the weather was chilly.

"So.. you just want to walk around?" Ichigo asked as he stick his hands into his pocket.

"Mhmm." Rukia nodded. Ichigo nodded and began walking with Rukia on his side. They walked around for 5 minutes in silence. Rukia sighed as she crossed her arms so that her hands were in between her uppe part of her arms and body.

Noticing her, Ichigo asked "Are you okay?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm just cold. I didn't expect it to be this cold today." Rukia said with a nervous laugh. Sighing, Ichigo stopped and took out one of his hands out of his pocket. He gestured for Rukia to hold it. Rukia looked at his hand, deciding whether or not to hold it.

"Doing that won't work," Ichigo said while looking at Rukia's crossed arms. "Give me your hand. At least one of them will be warm". Rukia hesitated a bit but placed her tiny hand into Ichigo's larger one. They walked in silence again. After about 3 minutes, Rukia felt Ichigo's hand change. Their fingers were now interlocked with eachothers. They both blushed slightly as they continued to walk until Ichigo broke the silence.

"Rukia."

Rukia looked up at Ichigo. "Hmm?" Rukia noticed Ichigo's face had a calm yet serious look. He kept his eyes looking forward.

"Let's go sit at that bench over there." Ichigo pointed with his free hand. Still holding hands, Rukia nodded and they made their way to the bench. They sat close to each other with their interlocked hands in between them.

Rukia felt weird, but happy. She had this strange feeling in her, but a good one. Rukia was trying to think about her feelings. How did she feel right now? How did he feel? Rukia couldn't help but wonder. "Does he care that I'm leaving tomorrow? Does he care that we're probably not going to see each other for a long time? Does he about how I feel for him? Does he care? Does he care.. about me? He doesn't.. does he? I guess I expected that.." Rukia thought silently to herself.

Ichigo looked down next to him and saw that Rukia was lost in thoughts. He took this moment as a chance to look at her face more. His eyes wandered around her face. She was beautiful. He then realized he probably won't see her face for a long time while she's gone. And at that moment, he felt some pain in his chest as the thought occurred to him. Without thinking, he slightly tightened his grip on Rukia's hand. Snapping out of thought, Rukia looked up at him.

"Ichigo, are you okay?" Rukia asked, a bit worried.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry about that." Ichigo said as he let go of her hand.

"It's fine." Rukia smiled softly. "Hey.. let's head home now. It's getting pretty late." Rukia said as she gazed up into the sky.

"You're right. Let's go then." Ichigo said as he sat up and started walking. Rukia followed closely behind looking up at the back of his head as they continued to walk.

"I'm so glad I met you, Ichigo."

Ichigo and Rukia arrived home. They made their way upstairs to Ichigo's bedroom. Walking in, Rukia went straight into the closet to change. As Rukia changed in the closet, Ichigo changed too.

After Rukia was done, she opened the closet and saw Ichigo, already changed, in bed already.

"You're going to sleep already?" Rukia asked with an annoyed tone.

"It's 10:00 pm. I'm tired." Ichigo groaned. Sighing, Rukia walked up to the foot of the bed and hopped on.

"Ichigo.. how are you going to feel when I leave tomorrow?" Rukia asked as she tried to sound as casual, trying to hide the sadness in her voice.

After a short pause, Ichigo answered. "Not bad. Things might actually be normal again." Ichigo said casually as he stayed in his bed.

"Ah.. I see," Rukia exhaled as she hopped off the bed. "Well.. good night, Ichigo." Rukia made her way to the closet and shut the door. Ichigo took a deep breath and looked out his window. He then shut his eyes, hoping tomorrow will never come.

"Rukia.. I love you.."

The Next Day

Ichigo and Rukia were now standing in the same park they were just in yesterday. Soul Society had contacted her and told her that they will open a gate for her to come. They stood silently for minutes until Ichigo spoke up.

"So, when will the gate open up?" Ichigo asked with an impatient tone in his voice.

"Hmm, it should be any minute now." Rukia answered.

"Ah."

"..."

"Hey Rukia?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you want to go to the park yesterday? I mean, it's not that I didn't enjoy it, but why there out of all places?"

"..I just wanted to confirm some things before I left."

"Well, did you?"

"Yeah.. I guess I have."

Then, the gate to Soul Society opened up.

"I guess this is goodbye for now, Ichigo." Rukia said as she turned to him.

"Yeah.."

Rukia began walking up to the gate as she bit her lip, trying not to let her sadness take over. Ichigo watched her from behind. He then felt the same pain in his chest he felt the day before. For every step away she took, the pain just got worst for him. He tried taking a deep breath to take the feeling away, but it didn't help. He watched her get farther and farther away from him. He was letting her go. He had to let her go. "This is for the best.. right? I knew she wasn't going to stay forever.. I've always known. But.. why does this hurt so much? I already decided a long time ago that I would be ready at a time like this. I would be ready to let her go. But.." He closed his eyes, took another deep breath, clenched his fists, and whispered to himself.

"I.. can't do this.."

Opening his eyes, he saw the figure in the distance. His jaws clenched as he stepped forward. Each step he was taking was becoming faster and faster until he was practically running to her.

Rukia heard footsteps from behind but before she had a chance to turn around, Ichigo had already ran up to her and hugged from behind. Rukia stumbled frontwards at Ichigo's sudden action. Rukia was caught in Ichigo's tight grip but didn't try to set herself free. She simply just stood where she was as she felt her own heart pound through her chest.

"Ichi–" Before Rukia could finish, Ichigo had begun talking.

"Don't leave me. Please." Ichigo whispered as he moved his head down onto the top of Rukia's. "Rukia.. I need you.. just.. don't leave me.." Ichigo breathed into her hair. "..I love you."

Rukia bent her head down as she heard those last words. She reached up to where Ichigo's arms were and placed her small, cold hands onto them. Ichigo then felt Rukia shake a bit.

"Rukia.. I love you." he breathed once more. Rukia couldn't hold it in as she wiggled herself out of Ichigo's arms and immediately turned around and wrapped her arms around Ichigo's abdomen. She buried her face into his chest and started crying. Ichigo was surprised but then wrapped his arms around Rukia's back tightly.

"Baka.." She cried into his shirt. "What would you have done if I had already went through the gate?" Rukia sounded angry but yet, so happy at the same time.

"I'm sorry but.. I can't let you go this time.." Ichigo said softly, recalling the time when Renji and Byakuya took Rukia before. Rukia was listening quietly to every word he was saying to her. "..I had you, but I let them take you away. But this time.. this time.. I'm never letting you go this time." Ichigo promised as he tightened his grip. Rukia also tightened hers also as she took a deep breath into his shirt.

"..Even if you let go, I won't be going anywhere because I promise, I'll never let you go until the day I die." Rukia promising too with her face still buried into his chest. Ichigo smiled as he moved his head closer to Rukia's ear and whispered softly.

"It's a promise then."