Oh, look, another Sirius rant that no one will read. Who am I talking to then? Hmm, good question Self, must just be us here. Anywho, Get on with it then, if you want. Sirius Black, the Veil in the Death Chamber, his last thoughts. Enjoy.


It took only an instant, but it felt like an age.

A jet of red light, hit him squarely in the chest and he was still laughing as he began to fall, thrown off balance.

He'd ducked the last one, laughed at his attacker, his cousin, and taunted her. "Come on!" He had yelled. "You can do better than that!"

She'd scowled, and sent the next blast at him. Red again, just a little stunner.

No big deal.

But he had miscalculated, didn't move fast enough that time, and felt the second spell meet its target.

He knew he was falling, sinking backwards, and as he did so, he remembered where he'd been standing – at the top of a dais, in front of the Veil. In the Death Chamber.

Nothing good could come of this, he was sure.

Marlene smiled at him, and handed over a baby. A little girl who was a perfect miniature of her mother. The only difference being the tuft of dark hair on her head, not at all like the blonde locks of his wife.

Her huge blue eyes stared up at him as he stared down at her. She was beautiful, and as he studied her, he knew that he had always wanted her, long before he knew of her existence. He had always, always wanted her, exactly her, not just, a child, but this one precisely.

And now she was his.

Seven years old, she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face into his neck, scratching behind his ear. He let out a bark of appreciation, and stooped low. She climbed onto his back and he ran on all four legs, around the back yard as she held fast to his neck, giggling all the while.

Her first time going to Hogwarts, they were all there to see her off – him, Marlene, and Remus. Lily and James too, with ten-year old Harry. Because in a world where Marlene survived that awful war, and they had this beautiful little girl, his best friends were alive as well.

Harry wouldn't grow up alone and lost with the Dursley's; he had a family. And Sirius wouldn't be imprisoned for a crime a former friend committed; he lived his life a free man.

Sixteen years old, home for the holidays, and glaring daggers at him, this little girl, who was clearly becoming a woman, all red-faced and angry beyond reason, screeched at him that he was the worst father in the world! How could he do this to her? They were only snogging; it wasn't like she was going to let-

He cut her off, sending her to her room. Shaking his head, exhausted, he watched her leave and wondered how this had happened. One moment he was a young wizard, fresh out of magic school, and suddenly, he was The Dad, disciplining a child for things when he himself had done much worse.

It seemed as if he had always been falling, and he would continue to do so until the end of time.

His eyes widened in shock as he felt himself slipping further and further back. There was nothing to grab onto, no way to stop his feet from falling out from under him.

Nothing at all to be done but just let it come.

Their faces continued to flash through his mind, one after the other – Marlene. James. Lily. The girl he imagined would have been just like her mother. Then Remus and Harry. Again and again he saw them, a mixture of emotions expressed within their eyes, and he knew that it was the end.

He couldn't even manage to turn his head and search for either one of the last two. The only two who would be left after this battle.

The Veil rippled behind him. He felt himself going through.

Prongs – Moony – Lily – Marlene – Harry - Aquila.

She never existed, but he knew that was what her name would have been, had she been given the chance. He watched as the faces continued to flash before his eyes. She grew in that one second as he fell, from the baby that he saw at first, then the little girl, the angry teenager, a young woman.

She just grew more and more beautiful the more he was allowed to look.

Their names were the last thing on his mind as he disappeared through the ancient archway.

And then there was nothing.


Ta-da! I finally managed to use the word 'snogging' in a sentence, which, I'm sure everyone is aware, has been my goal since New Years Eve, when this bizare obsession of mine was reignited. So that's done then. Thoughts? Comments? Questions?