My vacation to Italy became longer than expected. Much longer. I've been living with Feliciano for about a month now, much longer than I intended to stay; but each day I learn something more and more about him, and it pains me to even think of leaving him. This week though, Italy has acted the strangest. This week he's been sad. No..not sad. Morbidly depressed. France had heard that I was living with Italy, and he came over. When he came here, he told me he was here to see me. This was very strange I thought, seeing as France was usually afraid of me. He was only here for a minute, and all he did was tell me that Italy would act very "strange" for a while. When I asked him why, he said read an Italian history book. When I saw with my own eyes Feli being strange, I decided to do what France said. I walked into Feliciano's library and searched for a history book (though I had no clue what in the book to look for.) I skimmed the book starting off with the Roman Empire. Feliciano's Grandfather. There was nothing I read that would make Feli sad, so I kept going thru the book. Finally, my eye was drawn to the date August 6, 1806. That was today, over two hundred years ago. I read what the date was about. The Holy Roman Empire. Why would this make Feliciano sad? I began to get a headache from thinking about it so hard. The only way to find out is to ask Feliciano directly. I walked from the library to Feliciano's room, where he had locked himself inside. Right before I could knock on his door, it opened. What I saw was not Feliciano. I mean..of course it was him. But it wasn't. Feliciano's face was hallow and pale, and his eyes were red and swollen, and running from them were streaks of dry tears. His hair was a mess, his curl lay nearly flat and dead. He was wearing an all black suit, something I had never seen him wear before. He looked good in black. what are you thinking! he's sad and you're thinking he's attractive! why would you ever think that he's attractive! As my brain had its little internal battle (which I ignored), Feliciano spoke. "Hol..." he paused. "Caio, Germany. I was just about to head out to Austria's house. Would you care to come with me?" Feliciano was strangly polite. I guess this was one of the "strange" things France had talked about. "Umm.. Ja. Why not? Why are you going anyways?" Italy sniffed in a small sob, his eyes beginning to water again. "Just felt like visiting." "Alright...well, why don't you go wash up. No offence..but you look horrible." I said, running a hand thru his hair trying to comb it with my fingers. Italy smiled and walked to the rest room down the hall.
When he was gone, I was about to get dressed nicely as well, but as I turned away from Feli's room, a horrid stench escaped. I opened the door and peered inside. Bottles of alcohol: wine, beer, vodka, whisky, everything, littered the floor. Several packs of cigarettes were lying empty on the bed. Children's clothing poured from boxes from the closet and landed messily on the floor. At closer inspection I saw that it was a little girl's dress. Why he has that, I don't even want to know. Something was very wrong with Feliciano. Something to do with Holy Roman Empire. I guess I'll find out at Austria's place.
_
When we got to Austria's house, the whole place looked grim. I knocked on the door for Feliciano. He had tried to do it himself, but his hand couldn't stop shaking. Hungary opened the door, and ran to hug Feliciano. She too was wearing an all black outfit. She ushered us into the house and greeted me. "I didn't expect you to be here today Ludwig. May I ask why you are here?" she too, like Feliciano, had a shaky, hoarse voice when she spoke. "Feliciano asked me if I would like to come. So I said I would...If you don't mind me asking...what happened on this day?" Hungary stuffled a small sob, and said "I don't have the heart to tell a story that isn't mine." I nodded, understanding fully what she meant. She led me through the house. As we walked, I could hear a song playing in the distance. It must be austria playing the piano. Hungary opened the door, and inside the room was Austria, also in all black, playing a Requiem of some sort. When he was done, he looked at me. His eyes, much like Hungary's and Feli's were blood shot and his face had stains from where tears had dried. Quickly rubbing his eyes, he stood up and greeted me. "Welcome Ludwig. Long time no see." I nodded. "Ja.." I said, quizically. What happend today all those years ago! "You look just like him, Ludwig." whispered Austria; tears forming in his eyes. Hungary walked forward and grabbed Austria's hand and helped him sit down. His whole body was shaking. "Ludwig, please excuse us." "Umm...ja. I'll just step out." I did as I said and exited the room. From inside I could hear Austria's sobs, and soon Hungary's as well. As I left I heard the front door close. I followed the noise and looked out the front window to see who was outside. It was Feliciano. He was walking up a hill, and soon when he was over it, I couldn't see him any more. To make sure he stayed safe (and because I was curious), I decided to follow. Keeping my distance so he didn't know I was there I walked behind him. We walked past a river, some woods and finally we came to a cobblestone road. Hiding behind one of the tree's that surrounded the road, I sat and waited to see what he would do. He didn't do anything for some time, and I began to doze off. "Che non si muore per amore e' una gran bella verita'
percio' dolcissimo mio amore ecco quello, quello che, da domani mi accadra" Italy had begun to sing. I listenend intently to him and the words I still could not understand.
Io vivro' senza te anche se ancora non so come io vivro'
Senza te, io senza te solo continuero' e dormiro'
mi svegliero', camminero'
lavorero', qualche cosa faro'
qualche cosa faro', si, qualche cosa faro'
qualche cosa di sicuro io faro': piangero'
si' io piangero'
E se ritorni nella mente basta pensare che non ci sei che sto soffrendo inutilmente perche' so, io lo so, io so che non tornerai Senza te, io senza te solo continuero'
e dormiro', mi svegliero'
camminero', lavorero'
qualche cosa faro' qualche cosa faro'
si' qualche cosa di sicuro io faro',
piangero', io piangero'
Si' piangero', io, piangero'... "
I had never heard Feli's voice like this. It was usually high pitched, but when he sang, it was a lovely tenor. I still didn't understand what he was saying, but I could hear the pain and sadness in his voice. I sat up from my sitting position, but in the process I accidentaly stepped on a twig. It snapped loudly and Feliciano turned and saw me. He tilted his head and smiled. "Sembri proprio come lo sai." Tears streamed from his eyes and he sobbed louder and more heart wretching than I had ever heard him, or anyone for that matter, cry. I ran over to his side, where he then collapsed onto his knees. "Feliciano?" I called, worried. No reply. "Italy!" I shouted. Italy then passed out in my arms. Not wanting to move, or move him, I sat on the ground and rested his head on my lap. "You know I don't understand Italian, Feli." after a few minutes, he nodded. "I know you don't." "Italy! You're awake! Are you alright!" I asked frantically. "Si...no...no...I'm not Ludwig." tears began to stream from his eyes. "What is it Feli?" "You look just like him Ludwig. It's so sad." He whimpered, staring into my eyes. "You hair, your face, your skin...and your eyes. Oh your eyes are the so similar. His were darker a bit...but they had the same look..the same feel." he lifted a hand to my face and stroked the side of my face. I grabbed his hand in mine, keeping it at my face, and asked "who Feli? Who is this person I look like? Did he make you sad? Why are you sad?" I asked. I began to tear up a little myself. I bet I looked rediculous...but I couldn't stand seeing Feliciano sad..it made me sad. "Holy Roman Empire." Feli whispered up at me. He held my hand and curled up on my lap. "When I was only a child, right after Grandpa disappeared, I moved in with Austria. At the time, he was under Holy Roman Empire's rule, as was so much of Europe at the time." Feliciano told his story of how he lived as a servant at Austria's house. How Hungary dressed him as a girl, and how Austria didn't know he was a boy until his voice changed. "Then one day, a great war came...and Holy Rome had to leave. So, I gave him my push broom to remember me by, and in return, he gave me a kiss. It was my first kiss...and he was my first love. He told me he loved me since the 900's...and I loved him just as long. Even though he was scary a little. But he was always so nice." finally, Italy had talked himself to sleep. I picked him up and carried him bridal style back to the house. Looking back at the cobblestone path, I saw that Italy had left a large bag of sweets, just like he promised Holy Rome. Italy really loved this guy. Still does it seems too. This fact kind of made me angry...sad...depressed. I don't know. _
When we got back to the house, Hungary showed me to Feli's old room so I could take him to bed. I took off his shoes and jacket and tucked him under the blankets. Not even one step away from the bed, he grabbed my hand. "stay with me please." he whispered. How could I say no? "Of course Feli. Of course." I took my own shoes off and I was pulled into the bed by the Italian. Soon after, I wound up asleep next to him.
Morning arived very soon. I opened my eyes and saw that I was holding hands with Feliciano...who had somehow managed to keep all of his clothing on. I moved my hand a bit, so I could get out of the bed, but Italy held on tighter. I stayed there, laying in the bed with him. He curled his body right against mine, and rested his head on my chest. I had the sudden urge to hold tight to him. So I did. Feliciano always said it's not good to hold back. "No matter what..." I began. "I will never leave you." I leaned down and kissed Feliciano on his hair. He is so beautiful when he is sleeping. Stop thinking that! He is a man Germany! You are a man. You can NOT think of him that way..." Then I whispered to myself. "shutup."