A/N: this is probably the one time I shouldn't have to put this, but MAJOR MASS EFFECT 3 SPOILERS. THIS WILL SPOIL THE ENTIRE ENDING FOR YOU. TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED.

Now that that's out of the way! So this is the immediate aftermath of Mass Effect 3. I'm not going to write any opinions on the ending itself, because this isn't the place. Written below is my epilogue for ME3, the way I'm ending it in my head canon. I chose destruction, had enough EMS and 'saved' Anderson, so I got the "breathing N7 chest plate" clip right before the credits – I personally choose to interpret that as the below result. A couple things in here are referenced that aren't in game: these are my personal little side conversations that haven't been fleshed out in fiction yet. Nothing too much, but if you go "I don't remember them making that joke," it's because I made it up.

Short summary of my femShep: Earthborn, War Hero, named Kaelia, bright red hair, bright green eyes, mostly Paragon minus a brief Renegade stint after Horizon, only has eyes for Kaidan, gained biotic ability in ME2's reconstruction, and is Alliance through and through. All my Mass Effect fictions, every single one, focus on her. Without further ado, my personalinterpretation of what transpired after the end of ME3. (Oh, and the Normandy never went anywhere in my head canon. That's the only major deviation I made – everything else is strictly canon according to the vanilla game.)

The sound of gunshots reverberated throughout the empty room. The AI…child…Catalyst…thing watched her quietly as Shepard slowly limped toward the power conduit. There was no other option. Why would the Catalyst even bother giving her the choice of controlling the Reapers, or much less turning everyone into half-Reapers? They weren't choices at all. She always thought every decision through logically, and this was no exception.

Her, essentially become the new Catalyst? The truth was that absolute power corrupts absolutely – one of the oldest human sayings in existence continued to be the truest. She knew it wouldn't last. Would she be able to handle years of solitude? What if, while plugged into the Reaper/Catalyst tech, they eventually indoctrinated and convinced her to start the cycle again? What if she went insane and started the next cycle? No. That was off the table, no questions asked.

And to choose synthesis? To…merge everyone she knew into half-machine, half-organic? No way. That would irrevocably destroy everything she and that whole fleet out there stood for. They were fighting to avoid that very thing, to avoid becoming Reapers and instead keep their lives intact. Take away their free will and force the entirety of galactic civilization into a new form? Pfft, "pinnacle of evolution." Right. That was not an option.

Which left destruction. The one she wanted to avoid more than anything was the only true option. Destroying the Reapers was the only way to ensure they'd never come back to finish the job, and the only way to ensure all the sentients out there, fighting to the death to preserve their freedom, kept that choice. The AI was very clear to point out that she probably wouldn't live through this with her cybernetic implants and that's just the way it had to be. She wasn't sure she wanted to, anyway; she'd be killing an entire race in the process. The Geth had just gained true sentience and individuality and here she was, killing them weeks later. Genocide at its finest. EDI, too…EDI would die. The mass relays being destroyed was a horrible thought, but something fixable with enough time and research.

Another explosion ripped through the air as her bullets hit the main power line. Shepard flinched. She already died once, and she wasn't looking forward to it the second time around. Memories of everyone close to her flashed through her mind as she was thrown to the ground: Garrus sniping down bottles on the Citadel; Joker making fun of Ashley; Anderson thumping her back in welcome. Tears streaked through the blood coating her face as she remembered the last person, the most important person in her life. His desperate plea that he couldn't lose her a second time echoed through her mind as the bright light of explosions faded to black.

Guess I won't be waiting for you when this is over. I'm sorry, Kaidan.

The rumble of a nearby explosion shook him awake. Brown eyes shot open and he pushed against the piece of rubble pinning him to the ground. His ribs were probably broken, but armor and biotics had taken the brunt of the damage. A few moments later, Kaidan realized he was not getting out from under this stone with his own arms. He quietly summoned what little strength he had left and just shoved the wall chunk with a weak biotic wave. It landed on his left foot with a sickening crunch; definitely broke those toes. At least he was free after tugging the appendage out. He stood and looked around in near panic. Reapers were still attacking. How long was he out? Where was she? Did she make it? Shepard made him promise that if it looked like she hadn't made it, he should try to finish the job for her. His stomach twisted at the thought, but he couldn't break a promise. Not to her. What if she was hurt and needed his help? He limped forward, pain jolting to his brain with every lopsided step. It helped keep him focused as he stumbled toward that damned beam of light. A sniper took out a lone husk as it started toward him. Kaidan didn't even flinch.

His eyes began to burn the closer he got to the beam, vision blurring. Something snagged his good foot, momentum and gravity pulling him to the ground in a heap. Damn it. Every muscle in his body screamed to stay down, just stop moving. No. He forced himself to slowly drag his body up and take a few careful steps closer. He would make it. For her, if nothing else.

A deafening explosion shook the ground. He went tumbling down again, hands reaching to brace for impact this time. His eyes swiveled, trying to discern where the noise came from. All he saw was a wave of red, almost ethereal in form, sweep across the entire battlefield. The nearby Reaper's lights winked out as it fell to the ground. The beacon of light dissipated and another small earthquake rattled him. Shocked silence quickly erupted into cheers from the few people around him.

The wave of red…energy blew across his face like a soft wind. Suddenly he felt different than he had only moments ago. Something was off. He still felt like shit, but…empty. Panic quietly set in for a second when he had the horrifying thought that maybe he had just felt Shepard die. No. I refuse to believe it.

His head slowly tilted up to look toward the sky as he forced himself to stand once more. Could he see anything through the smoke? Was she up there? What did she do?

"Major!"

Kaidan refused to pull his eyes from his futile search for the Citadel. "What, Lieutenant Vega?"

The tank of a young man trudged up next to Kaidan, not looking pretty but not dead, either. "So she did it, eh? They all just stopped. …Hey, uh, you don't look so good."

"I imagine you don't either, James. We were just almost killed by a Reaper." Damn it, where are you?

A large hand gently rested on his shoulder, distracting him long enough to look over. Concern dominated the blood-streaked face watching him. "No, seriously. You look like you're about to pass out. Your biotics okay? You kinda looked like that before at the hospital."

Kaidan sighed and lifted a hand to summon a small bit of gravity as proof. "My biotics are fine, Ja-" Nothing happened. No familiar tug, no electrical tingle down his arm. Both men stared in shock. "What…"

"Well, that ain't good. C'mon, we're getting you looked at right now."

"No." He peeled away and limped a few tiny steps toward where the beam of light had been.

"What do you mean, no? You're limping real bad and somethin' is clearly wrong with you!"

He hissed through clenched teeth. "I am not leaving without her." His hands balled up into fists as he forced himself to take another step. "Not this time."

"The beacon thing ain't even there anymore! How're you going to get up there? Transports are the other way; don't go loco on me now."

Damn it. Vega had a point. Kaidan turned to stare at the younger soldier, fire in his eyes. "Help me get to a shuttle."

"But you're all bust–"

"I gave you an order, Lieutenant!" Kaidan rarely yelled; he felt it was warranted in this case. James muttered what were likely a million different Spanish curses at him, but the marine did nod and offer some support with an arm around the waist. Every step was agony, but he couldn't have cared less. All that mattered was getting his ass up to the Citadel and finding her.

A deep gasp of air – unexpected. Shepard felt warm. And confined. Safely trapped. Eyes refused to open; too much work. She smiled stupidly as she remembered Kaidan telling her that story all those years ago. The ending was particularly…sweet.

Well, they beat every bad guy and lived happily ever after, of course.

At least one part of that story had come true; they had beaten every bad guy. She managed to destroy the Reapers once and for all. The cost…the cost was too high, but it was necessary. Throughout her life, she'd tried to do the right thing. Think of the bigger picture. She saved the Council in the name of galactic stability, destroyed the Collector base in the name of pissing the Illusive Man off. She'd always made logical choices that served everyone, not just herself. Hopefully all that good would outweigh the atrocity she just committed. The Geth, dead. EDI, dead. All the mass relays, gone. Galactic society as they knew it was over…but they all still had their dignity. Their free will. The Reapers were gone forever and she just had to hope that wherever she was headed when the darkness closed in on her would take that into account.

The darkness was so inviting, so welcoming. Her head twisted, cheek resting against a jagged piece of metal. Her lids slowly lifted to let her gaze drift out the window. Looked like the Citadel crashed somewhere with few buildings, a town at best. At least she would die on land. Horrible life on the streets or not, Earth was her home. It was only fitting she died here as well. Her eyes closed again and she sighed. Too bad they'd never have that happily ever after. She'd settle down horribly, anyway; better to spare him the migraines. Hopefully he'd move on in time. It's not like she planned on coming back a third time or anything.

She flexed her fingers – still functioning. At least her left arm wasn't broken. She carefully pulled it out of the rubble and reached to summon her omni-tool; hopefully those weren't busted in the technology explosion she had wrought. It beeped quietly, then gave an automated "no network found" error message. That seemed about right; her 'tool was directly connected to the relays. Those didn't exist anymore. She cleared her throat. Her voice cracked. It hurt to speak. "Activate vocal commands."

It beeped. "Record audio message, store to local databanks." It beeped again, once to confirm and a second time to let her know it was recording.

"Kaidan…god, I hope you made it through that Reaper attack. If not, I'll be joining you soon. Hope I get into biotic heaven, or I'm going to be pissed." The reminder of their dark joke made her choke out a pained chuckle. "But…" She sighed and took a wavering breath. "But seriously. If you get this, I'm so sorry. I'm so tired. I just want to-" A cough cut her off. Ut oh, she tasted blood. That wasn't good. "I just want you to move on this time. I mean it. Don't cling to hope. No one's bringin' me back again. I love you so much, and you know I'll always be watching your back. Sorry we'll never…get our ending." A finger jabbed blindly and the omni-tool's glow faded away.

Well, that was that. Time to die.

"None of the shuttles are working, Major. There's nothing we can do about it. The eezo cores just…shut off. It'll take at least two hours to start them back up safely."

Kaidan wanted to strangle the tech telling him no, but that wouldn't accomplish anything. Panic was slowly starting to rise around him as more and more people realized that the more advanced tech just wasn't working. "Well, get me something that runs on fuel. Anything. I have to reach the Citadel." It was a ludicrous request and he knew it. The tech's look told him all he needed to know. The answer was no again. "Well, how the hell am I…argh!"

"Major, c'mon. I'll ask around more if you go get looked at."

He turned and sighed. "Fine. Fine. But you find me a damn way to figure out what the hell is going on." Vega nodded and helped him limp over to a field medic. When she realized who he was, she immediately began to test his vital signs with her omni-tool. At least those still worked. With a salute, the lieutenant stalked off to find more information once he was securely in the medic's care.

"Sir, I'm not reading anything at all from your amp. Did you turn it off?"

Turned it off? What? "No, of course not."

"Hmm." She carefully peeled back bloody hair to stare at his implant site. "It's there, but I'm not reading any biotic activity. Have you tried to d–"

"–Yes I have, Corporal. It didn't work."

Worry twisted her face further. "Do you feel all right?"

He waved a hand toward the dead Reaper only a mile or two away from them. "No, I don't feel all right. My ribs are probably broken in a few places, I just got blasted by that thing, the woman who just killed all of them is still on the Citadel, and I can't get a damn shuttle to go and find her."

"Your ribs? Let me take a l–"

Their whole world shook. If the majority of London's buildings weren't already mostly toppled and decimated by Reapers, they would have crumbled under the force. Both Kaidan and the medic flew to the ground, scrambling underneath a nearby fallen wall. The few buildings left standing began to cave in on themselves, followed by more than a couple of cut off screams. They both winced; the casualties weren't done racking up today. The rumbling lasted nearly a minute before dying down. "What the hell was that?"

"I don't…"

"Alenko. We need to leave, now." Vega lumbered up and stared at Kaidan with wide eyes. A trickle of blood ran down his nose; it looked like he got hit with some small debris, but this wide eyed look wasn't pain. It was worry.

He didn't like that at all. "…Why? What happened?" A quick look to the medic told her all she needed to know: go away. She scurried off after leaving him a packet of medi-gel.

"I…don't know how to tell you this, Major."

"Then just spit it out."

Vega looked to the north. "The Citadel…crashed… north of here. Scouts saw it from a watch tower. Completely destroyed the area."

No. His body pulled itself up. Not now. No. Kaidan meant it when he told her he couldn't lose her again. "I'm going there. Now." He raised his voice and shouted above the crowd. "I need to get to that crash site ASAP, Spectre business." His voice caught and he coughed a few times.

"You don't need to pull that Spectre business crap, Alenko. Everyone wants to find her." Vega patted his shoulder and helped him limp toward the vehicles. "Hey! Someone tell me which Mako here has enough fuel to get me north! Now!"

A random tech was shoved into their path, likely by another shell shocked peer. "Um, Lieutenant, Major…there's one over here. It's almost full, and the armor is only damaged…a little bit…if that's okay…but it, um, moves." Kaidan gave the tech a halfhearted nod.

Vega answered for him. "Good enough for us. Let's go. Grab medics and some support, follow us in that one." His head jerked to a Mako with no roof. "We'll probably need it." The two men slowly pulled themselves into the vehicle and waited for the support team to load up their own transport. A few minutes later, they were on their way.

"God…" He coughed again. "Last time I was in one of these, Shepard was driving."

Vega started driving carefully, trying to avoid people. "Bet that was fun."

His mind drifted back. He could remember the fierce determination burning in her eyes as she drove toward the Conduit. Hang on, this is going to be a bumpy ride! "Heh. Yeah. Drove through the Conduit. Did a lot of crazy things that day…"

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't get all sentimental and quiet on me. The Commander's one tough, crazy sonnuva…listen, I'm pretty sure she's part Krogan. She'll be fine. Maybe she even took a joyride down, eh?"

The thought of Shepard joyriding the Citadel down onto Earth was a pretty damn funny image, Kaidan had to admit. "Heh. Maybe." He tugged his boot and sock off, wincing at the dried blood as it stripped away. Those toes were so broken, purple and swollen. Some medi-gel would numb them until he could get to a real doctor. Finding her was priority number one, though.

Just hold on.