Chapter 40

"Whether your pregnancy was meticulously planned, medically coaxed, or happened by surprise, one thing is certain - your life will never be the same. ~Catherine Jones"

While driving her new car towards the Suoh Manor where Tamaki is holding a party for his birthday, Gin's gloating, she bought the car only yesterday and no one has seen it but Takashi. Tamaki thinks everything has to be celebrated, but since this is his 25th birthday he decided on a party for all business associates next to a party for only his friends and family.

The blonde is dressed in a strapless lilac dress with flowing skirt till the knees, a purple ribbon around the waist and high sandal heels on her feet. She had Nakamura do her hair in a half-up curly style to show off her new diamond earrings matching with her diamond necklace and wedding ring. She got them from Takashi as an early wedding gift.

She bought the car herself, she had her eye on it for a while already and now was the perfect time. A white Lamborghini Huracan.

When she stops in front of the driveway, she sees the Ootori car standing right in front of her own, having stopped in front of the manor. Kyoya steps out of it and opens the door, helping little Takumi stepping out. Gin smiles while leaning over the steering wheel and catches eyes with Takumi.

She winks at him and he waves. Kyoya turns around and walks over, opening the door of the car for her and holding out a hand 'You're unexpectedly early' Kyoya states while she takes his hand and steps out.

'Well, fashionably late is getting boring so I thought I'd try fashionably early' she replies with a wink, handing the keys to one of the employee.

'Nice car' Kyoya notes.

'I bought it only yesterday, it's like my new baby' Gin pats the car and smiles brightly 'I love it so much' She hugs the car and then steps back again when it gets cold 'Alright, let's go inside, it's cold out here'.

'It's only early April after all' Kyoya holds out his arm to her but Gin kneels before Takumi and opens her bag 'Look, I got you something' she hands him a small bag.

He opens it and takes out a wishing bracelet 'What's this?' he blinks.

'Ah, that's a wishing bracelet' Gin explains 'You make three knots in it, and with each knot you tie, you make a wish. Then you never take it off until it falls off and all your wishes will come true'.

'Really?!' Takumi's eyes widen 'So it's a magic bracelet?!'.

Gin smiles and nods 'Yeah, something like that. Now, you have to promise me to think very carefully about your wishes and when you have through of three good ones, you ask daddy to help you tie it. And then never take it off, alright?'.

The boy nods and smiles brightly at his dad 'Look what I got from Gin-san daddy!'.

'It's very nice Takumi, now put it in your pocket so that you won't lose it. And don't forget to thank Gin for the gift' Kyoya replies.

'Oh it's not-' before Gin can finish the sentence, Takumi's hugging her tightly around the neck.

'Thank you so much, Gin-san' he puts the bracelet in his pocket and then runs towards the stairs.

Gin stands up and dusts off invisible dust, she smiles at Kyoya 'Your kid is so sweet, unlike a certain someone'.

Kyoya chuckles lowly before they start walking towards the stairs 'And you're sweet too, giving him such a thing'.

'It's not expensive or anything' Gin shrugs.

'No, probably not' Kyoya smiles 'But it came from the heart, and that's worth more than money can ever buy'.

Gin blushes 'Shut up stupid. You're making me all blushing'.

'Where is Takashi?' Kyoya then asks.

'Since this party is mainly just for business people and he has an important lecture tomorrow, I told him to stay home and rest, prepare the lecture. So he's home right now'.

'That makes us both alone'.

'By the way, why did you take Takumi along? It's not like it's fun here'.

'Well, he will be the successor of Ootori Inc. one day, if he stays an only child that is'.

'Are you and Catherine planning?' Gin tilts her head.

'Right now, we're not even planning anything. Not with each other at least. Next month we'll have a business trip to Hokkaido, Catherine will be in Paris around that time. I'm worried about leaving Takumi alone'.

'Just take him along' Gin shrugs.

Kyoya sends her a look 'Gin, it's a business trip'.

'It's fine' Gin waves her hand as they walk into the Suoh manor 'During the actual business deals he can stay at the room. But those deals last probably a couple of hours, and then we have three days off. I know, why don't we stay in Hokkaido for a day longer and go to the beach, go shopping, a little trip. Then Haruhi and Natsuki can come along too and Haruhi can watch Takumi'.

Kyoya stares.

Gin smiles 'I'll talk to Tamaki and Haruhi about it. I mean, leaving a child along for three days at home is pretty lonely for him right? And from what I've seen, he needs his dad right now'.

Kyoya sighs 'Alright, I give up, I'm no match for you'.

'I'm glad you finally realize that' Gin replies seriously and then laughs 'We'll talk about it later, alright?' Gin spots the twins and walks right over 'Look at my dress! It's your mother's design!' she exclaims.

The twins raise their thumbs at her.

Later, Gin is talking to some people about Suwashi Inc. when dinner is served. She sits down next to Haruhi and Kaoru and talks to Haruhi about the plans for Hokkaido. Haruhi sighs at the idea of some days off, since she's been so busy with work and asks Tamaki about it. Tamaki is eager to agree since he wants to see his little Haruhi and little Natsuki in swimsuits. When Gin notes that it's too cold to swim in the see, since it's April, Tamaki goes crying in a corner.

'Man up, you're having guests' Gin states.

After dinner, it's time for dancing and talking. Gin talks to business associates for a while before being asked for a dance by some elderly guy.

Gin smiles while dancing on the Waltz.

'Takara-san, you still have it in you' she smiles.

'No, it's all because I like to show off to pretty women' the grey haired male replies with a chuckle.

The blonde chuckles 'Takara-san, I'm married' she flirts.

'Well, he's a lucky man indeed'.

'Oh yes he is' Gin nods, the dance ends and Takara bows before Gin's hand is taken by someone else.

'Would you please grant me this dance?' Kyoya asks, bowing.

Gin blinks and glances at Takara 'Bye Takara-san, it was a pleasure dancing with you'.

'No, it was my pleasure, I felt like a young man once more'.

The young woman looks at Kyoya and takes a pose with him, the both of them flying over the dance floor 'That was pretty rude' she whispers, turning on the next kind of waltz. While the former was Viennese, this one is the Garland Waltz, one which Tamaki chose himself since he's liked it ever since they went to the ballet of Sleeping Beauty in Moscow.

'Maybe, but I really wanted this dance' Kyoya replies.

Gin frowns a bit suspiciously 'Kyoya… since when do you go after you want without minding, you know, business'.

'Since I rather wanted to dance now than hear a story about Kajiyama-san's honey moon. She's been talking about it to me for over thirty minutes and I really do not want to know any more about Kajiyama-san's private life' he replies.

Gin laughs 'Aw, he's just showing off his wife and likes you. They're a young married couple and the Ootori and Kajiyama family are pretty close. I think he thinks of you as a friend'.

'Well, that makes one of us' Kyoya rolls his eyes.

'Oh shut up' she chuckles before looking around 'This reminds me of the first time I went to a ball'.

'If I remember correctly, than that was the Host Club's ball in your first year at Ouran'.

She smiles up at him 'Yeah' she blushes 'Before that you tried teaching me and I stepped on your toes, and you told me I was heavy'.

He rolls his eyes 'Are you still thinking about that?'.

'Of course, weight is a very touchy subject to a woman'.

'Apparently so' Kyoya sighs and then looks down at her 'You look very lovely tonight'.

'Ootori-san, I'm a married woman' she says innocently and blinks her eyes.

'Grow up' Kyoya replies, closing his eyes before turning her 'I'm married too'.

'Thanks, for saying that' she smiles before her face turns a bit glum 'Takashi almost never says that anymore…'.

The corners of Kyoya's mouth sink too 'Is that so? What a waste'.

'I guess it's also my fault' Gin shrugs 'After all, I'm busy. I'm the one bringing in all the money and unlike what I planned to do by letting Mori take over the business for a while, I instead took it over without him ever being involved in it, and I don't ever involve him with the business or anything like that. And when something troubles me, I go to Layla or Haruhi instead of my own husband. Not to mention we don't ever talk, no dates, no romantic trips, we don't even go on vacation together and guess what' Gin looks at him.

'What?' Kyoya asks.

Gin blushes 'We haven't had sex for over eight months. I'm dying right here. My insides are shrinking like dried persimmons' she makes a face 'Ew, that sounds so gross'.

'Yes it does' Kyoya nods.

'I'm just tired too much and when we do it, I don't even get wet and all'.

'I really don't want to know' Kyoya shakes his head.

'Is that normal? What if I'm sexually cold? What if it's all me?' she groans and hits his chest with her forehead, keeping it there 'My life's so messed up'.

'Well, at least you don't have a son, and your husband sleeps at home'.

'Yeah, when he's not staying over at Honey's or whoever he knows from university' she rolls her eyes 'I mean, if you're sleeping with other women, at least make the lies a little more believable'.

'You think Mori is cheating?' Kyoya stares at her.

'Duh, how do you think we got through these past eight years of marriage?' she rolls her eyes 'Sure he took my virginity but after that we've only done it about four enjoyable times in total. I guess he doesn't really love me anymore, and I… honestly don't know if I love him. I don't even think I've ever loved him'.

'Maybe you're just entering the stage of mid-life crisis'.

'Kyoya, I'm twenty-five years old, I don't get a midlife crisis until forty-five' she rolls her eyes 'Maybe we should get a kid…' Gin looks at Haruhi and Tamaki, dancing together while looking so much in love 'They look so lovely together, since Natsuki was born their love just increases tenfold'.

'You think a baby is the solution to your bad relationship' Kyoya raises an eyebrow.

'Don't see it as a solution' Gin rolls her eyes 'See it as… see it as a token, no, a reminder of our love'.

'You just said you don't know if you ever even loved him'.

'But I'll love that child' Gin replies, as if it's obvious.

'Look-'.

'Kyoya, do you love Takumi?'.

Kyoya stares 'Of course I love Takumi' he chuckles humorlessly 'He's my son'.

'Do you love Catherine?'.

'Now, I love my wife-' Kyoya starts.

'Shut up you liar, I know how bad your marriage is. It's no better than mine. Catherine is in Europe sleeping around with models she meet son parties and in random places, she leaves her child alone and goes out to drink and buy expensive things from your money. Please, don't even try to hide your suspicions'.

Kyoya glares 'What are you trying to say?'.

Gin gives him a deadpan look and then sighs 'I bet the only reason you haven't divorced her is the damage it would do to Ootori Inc.'.

Kyoya doesn't reply.

'Ha!' she exclaims 'I was right!'.

'Gin' Kyoya sighs 'Who do you think will get Takumi if I divorce Catherine? The hard-working dad who's almost never home, or the jobless woman who has the money of her family?'.

'Right…' Gin sighs 'But if you catch Catherine drinking or sleeping around, you'll get him'.

'And then Takumi won't have a mother anymore'.

Gin sighs 'Divorce is such a stupid thing. My parents are dead, so I don't even know…'.

'How is your grandmother anyway?'.

'Still breathing' Gin shrugs, noticing the quick change of subject but deciding not to point it out 'She's enjoying retirement together with grandpa, though… one's swimming while the other one's sitting on the table next to the swimming pool at our vacation home on Bali. And I'm pretty sure grandma is the one wearing the bikini'.

Kyoya smiles slightly at her try to lighten the mood 'She misses him?'.

'Of course, even though he was a cold, calculating man I did not really love, she loved him with all her heart'.

'It's really intriguing how two people can love each other for such a long time, even after death' Kyoya wonders aloud.

'Well, if I look at Tamaki and Haruhi, I can really understand the charm of growing old together with the one you love'.

'I guess it does' Kyoya replies.

'Ugh' Gin sighs 'I need a drink'.

XxX

It's already far past twelve when a car pulls up next to the Morinozuka manor. Kyoya opens the back door and sees Gin sleeping with Takumi's sleeping head on her shoulder. The black haired male glances at a butler exiting the house and walking over.

'Can I help you, Ootori-sama?'.

'Brought the Lady of the house' Kyoya replies 'But it seems like she's fast asleep after all the alcohol she drank'.

'My, that's the second time this week' Tadashi sighs and opens a door 'please hold the child while I take milady'.

'Of course' Kyoya holds Takumi and then puts him down as soon as Tadashi has lifted the blonde out of the car.

'Akira-kun' Gin mumbles with half-open eyes 'Mornin' she slurs.

'You are drunk milady'.

'Yeaaah…' the woman replies 'Bye bye, Shadow-King' she makes a faint attempt to wave at Kyoya. The glassed man sighs and closes the doors.

'Take care of her, Tadashi-san' he nods at the head-butler and steps into his car.

'Good night Ootori-sama'.

The car drives away soon after. Tadashi looks at the blonde and sighs. He brings her in and up the stairs to the bedroom.

'Morinozuka-sama, milady has been drinking'.

Mori opens the door with a sleepy face and nods, holding the door open for the butler to put the woman down. He makes the move to take off her shoes but Mori stops him.

'I'll take it from here'.

'Of course' Tadashi bows and moves towards the door 'Good night, milord'.

Mori nods at him and waits until the door is closed before taking off Gin's shoes and helping her out of her clothes. He takes the pins and ribbons out of her hair and Gin opens her eyes.

'Takashi…' she moans 'I want a baby' she whispers and puts a hand on his cheek 'Baby'.

'You are drunk'.

Gin shakes her head 'I've wanted it for so looong…' she sighs 'Let's try for a baby'.

Mori stares at her, half-drunk and vulnerable on the bed. He then nods and moves over her 'Do not regret it'.

'I won't' she replies and closes her arms around his neck 'Love me, Takashi'.

XxX

The sound of Tadashi entering the dining room that late morning, causes Gin to groan and hiss 'Shh' she shushes 'I've got a major headache'.

'Good morning, Crow-sama' he bows 'I hope you slept well. Morinozuka-sama left early this morning'.

'Meh, it's not that good a morning' she then nods 'I know'.

'I received word from him to bring you these items' Tadashi walks over and puts a bag on the table.

'Huh?' Gin frowns and stops eating her breakfast for a moment to peek inside the plastic bag, fully aware of all the nearby employee peeking into the room and listening closely.

She takes out a box with a pregnancy test 'Oh right' she nods 'Yeah, Takashi and I decided to try for a baby'.

'Is that so' Tadashi looks at her without any expression passing his face 'That is great news'.

'Don't be such a spoil sport Akira-kun' she sighs 'After all, this may be our last chance to recover our marriage. I think a child could really recover it, something of the both of us…'.

'Crow-sama, I do not wish to judge your way of settling matters, but I do wonder if this is the right decision'.

'You're not the only one…' Gin replies and sighs 'But do I have a choice to make another decision?'.

'Maybe therapy would-'.

'I know what's the problem Tadashi!' Gin snaps and then sighs, with breathing out she feels tears slide down her cheeks 'We're just two individuals who don't love each other. But damn!' she exclaims 'I'm the owner of a prestige business and Takashi's the head of the honorable Morinozuka family. We're in no position not to be a perfect couple, we're in no position to judge our families who arranged a marriage for us, we can't just divorce because that's scandalous!' Gin grabs her head tightly, tears falling on her knees 'I'm stuck Tadashi… I can't go back. So the only way is forward… and going forward means doing drastic things like getting a baby'.

'I see, if your mind is set…' Tadashi replies and bows 'My apologies milady, I only wish to see you happy'.

'Well I am, I am happy' Gin tries to convince herself more than her butler.

'If you say so, milady' replies the man.

'Could you just… please leave me alone for a moment' Gin inhales deeply 'I just need some space'.

'As you wish' the man bows again and leaves the room.

Gin shoves her breakfast away, not hungry anymore. She pushes a hand through her hair while sobbing softly. She hasn't skipped breakfast since the day Kyoya and Catherine married.

She hits her chest with her fist and chokes out a loud sob. She could still feel his hands hold hers while dancing over the floor. She could still hear his voice. Just the thought made her heart beat faster.

Eight years, and she was still in love with that man. Yes she's trying to create something between Takashi and herself. What the hell is she doing?

TBC