Chapter 1

Funny how much one could appreciate chaos when deprived from it. Sirius watched the Weasley's move in. It was loud, things were knocked over, portraits were screaming, and Kreacher sulked, muttering beneath his breath. But Sirius was smiling.

Smiling because this was the first time in forever that the monotony of life on the run brought him was broken. Molly harped at the twins, seems they never put down their wands. Arthur was fascinated by the artifacts that he found in all corners of the house.

"Oh, dear! Now, this is unusual!"

Sirius poured himself a drink, watching Remus show Ginny and Hermione to their room. They were giggling about some boy at school, Remus ignored them. Whether it be from the decency of not eavesdropping or simply not giving a damn who was dating who.

The girls shared a room at the very top stairs, almost the attic. The rest of the inhabitants were all piled into the few but lavish rooms. It left the old friends with Sirius' old bedroom.

"It's not much, but it will do." Sirius said when Remus returned from helping the girls situate. The werewolf smiled, grateful. "Anything is good, Sirius. Stop being modest."

Things were busy throughout the afternoon; it was difficult to feed a group so large. By night, Molly herded them to bed.

"You should get some more rest too." She scolded him. Her eyes drifted down his body, shaking her head, displeased. He was looking hundreds of times better then before. His body was filled out to the strong frame that it used to be. His hair was still long but it wasn't limp and matted anymore.

He ignored her, opting to explore his house again. He grew up here but it was so different. This couldn't be the same house. It was darker, scarier. Everything seemed determined to drive away visitors.

In the drawing room, he found his family tree. Everyone was there except two people.

He narrowed his eyes.

Him and his uncle.

His mother was such a bitch. A rotten, cold, dead bitch.

Sirius turned on his heel and stormed upstairs. Remus was in the room, sitting on the bed. He was half dressed, clad in only his pants.

Sirius tried hard not to look. He hated Remus' body.

"It's a small bed." Remus said, absentmindedly. Like he really didn't care.

Sirius nodded, changing into a pair of soft pants. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all."

It was small indeed. Still, Remus and Sirius put quite a bit of distance between themselves, letting an extra quilt pile up between them.

Morning came and Sirius awoke alone. He went to kitchen to find everyone still asleep. The sun was just now rising.

Remus had made himself a cup of coffee, leaving the pot for anyone else who wanted some. The raven haired man poured himself a mug and sat at the table.

Everything had changed since he last sat here.

He was no longer a reckless teenager. He no longer thought the world was just for the taking.

He was grown now, victimized by the world he walked headfirst into.

Sirius didn't move much throughout the day. It was easy to sit where he was and watch the people around him live. He fussed with Kreacher and entertained Ginny through supper with stories of his youth, but not much more.

Remus didn't come home that night, Dumbledore sent him off on some work for the Order.

"When will he return?" he asked the headmaster.

Dumbledore smiled, softly. Too understanding. "Maybe in a day or two."

Too long.

Molly was pestering him. Arthur was badgering him with his questions. The twins wreaked havoc wherever they went. Ron was busy just being awkward. And the girls giggled on and on and on and on.

Remus didn't nag or ask too much. He didn't knock things over or create uncomfortable silences. And most defiantly didn't giggle.

He was just Remus. Calm, sturdy. Like an anchor on a stormy night at sea or gentle voice saying it would be okay.

James could have been like that, but he was too like Sirius. Too willing to explore and find adventure. Remus was never for all that. He never reprimanded but he never encouraged. He just stood there waiting to catch them as they fell.

Sirius felt like he was falling again. By day two, he spoke less. Ate less. Moved less.

Finally, Remus came home. He was worn and tired. His skin was pale but his cheeks were rosy from the wind. He closed and locked the heavy front door, running a thin hand through his greying hair.

"Remus!" came a whisper from the top of the stairs.

He looked up, finding Sirius, smiling for the first time in a while.

The werewolf gave an apologetic smile. "I didn't wake you, did I?" It was the dead of the night, no one was awake.

"No, I couldn't sleep."

Remus untied his traveling coat. He was thinner then he had ever been before, almost like a rail.

"Are you hungry? Molly made stew."

He accepted, allowing Sirius to prepare him a bowl while he put his things down.

When they were young, Remus would do this for him when he returned from a mission. Now, the tables had turned.

"Thank you," was Remus' soft voice as he took the bowl from his friend.

"My pleasure."

He told Sirius of his mission. He spent the past two nights sleeping in the werewolf tunnels with his kind. He listened to Fenir Greyback preach about how it was their time. Time to bring the human world to it's knees.

"He's mad." Sirius assured him.

"Yes, he is. But he has a lot of power. A lot of followers." Remus drained his bowl. It must have been awhile since he had eaten.

They went to bed, unconsciously building the small wall between them once more with the blanket.

Sirius didn't go straight to sleep. He lay there, listening. Remus snored lightly, deep in his sleep. He could hear Kreacher creeping around in the halls. He sometimes still heard them. The screams of people going insane in Azkaban. He had been out for almost two years but it still haunted him.

The chaos of a large family didn't dull as time passed. Harry moved in, brightening Sirius' mood substantially. That boy was like a light in his world.

He was so like James it was scary, valiant, willing to save anyone. He didn't look at rules as limits, instead he saw them as obstacles.

"That's not really a good thing." Remus laughed, when Sirius brought this up as they ate a breakfast of tea and toast.

Sirius grinned. "It's a great thing! James wouldn't have wanted some little stiff afraid of a little detention as a son."

Remus took a small bite of toast, chewing on his right side. His jaw was bruised on the left, a token from Greyback. Apparently, he had caught Remus denouncing his plan for a revolt.

"Harry is just as headstrong as James, but I can see Lily there too. More then in his eyes."

He smiled as he spoke, giving light to his worn face. Sirius stared for a moment. It as odd how handsome a simple smile could make him.

"Yeah. Yeah he is."

That night, alone again, he questioned things. He questioned why he was in the house. Why Remus was forced to stay with such monsters. Why Harry had seen so much pain. And of course, he questioned why he seemed to need Remus there.

He was a grown man, not a child. He was capable of finding things to keep him occupied. But it was obvious, without the thin brunette, he found little to smile about.

Remus was gone for a whole week this time, leaving Sirius in a very bitter mood. He sat in the drawing room, staring drunkenly at the tapestry when he found him.

"Why are you in the dark?" came the soft voice.

Sirius simply shrugged. His eyes were locked on the burn that was once his name. Remus crossed the room, limping slightly. He knelt beside his friend's chair.

"This is your family tree?"

Sirius sneered. "Not mine. Not anymore. Don't you see it, Moony?" he pointed to where he was blasted off.

Remus blanched. He didn't understand hatred among a family, he was loved by his. "Oh. Sirius, I'm sorry-"

He was cut off with a bark like laugh. Sirius had a sadistic smile. "Don't be! I am not a Black! I am not worthy!" he leapt from his seat, the shots of firewhiskey he had after supper getting to him.

He seized a strange artifact, he didn't know what it was, and hurled it at the tapestry. It broke into dozens of pieces. He grabbed another and made to throw it when Remus grasped his arm.

"No! Sirius, don't!"

He tried to pull his arm down but Sirius was quick. He whirled around and shoved Remus back against the wall, forcing a grunt from him. He sealed his body to the wall with his own and held Remus' arms above his head.

They were frozen. Two men, closer then they should be, one holding the other against the wall.

Sirius drank in Remus. He was wounded. His lip was busted and there was a cut across his nose and above his eye. He must have made Greyback angry with him again. Remus wasn't moving, wasn't breathing. He stared at Sirius as hard as he stared at him.

Finally, Sirius spoke. "I could break you, you know?"

Remus nodded, slowly, fearful. It was true. Sirius was getting more and more healthy. He tall, strong, and muscular again. Remus was thin, weak, and sick.

"But I won't." Sirius let Remus' hands fall to his sides. He put his palms against the wall, encasing the man. "Are you afraid?"

Another nod.

"Why? Remus, I would never hurt you."

"I know."

It was a lie. But Remus never lied. Sirius let his head fall forward, landing on the bony shoulder.

"You're drunk." Remus said. Not accusing, just stating. He either smelled it or noted the behavior.

Sirius gave a weak nod.

"C'mon, let's get you upstairs."

It was so like Remus. Putting aside that he was in pain and hungry to help Sirius up the stairs to his old bedroom. He laid him down in the bed, pulling his jumper off. Sirius let him take care of him, making up for the week he was absent.

When Sirius was clad in just his pants and tucked in, Remus laid down next to him, exhausted. He didn't bother undressing; maybe he didn't have the energy. But tonight, neither of them built the small fortress of blanket. Tonight, Remus and Sirius lay closer to each other then they ever have.

Tonight, Remus' arm was thrown across Sirius' chest.

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