Like He Loves Me

Chapter 1

Author's Note: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine.

New story! This story is inspired by the Reba McEntire song, "Does He Love You?" The song is a duet with I forget who, but the song is sang by two women – one a wife and the other a mistress. If you don't know the song and get the chance, Google it and it'll let you know where this idea came from.

Hope you enjoy! And no this is not a Kathy is an evil bitch story. And Olivia is a divine angel. This is a story I hope wherein Elliot will really have to dig deep within himself to find the right answer as will Kathy and Olivia.

OLIVIA

Friday morning, around 230 am

"I can't do this anymore…" The agonizing thought kept running through Olivia's mind. For the third time that night, she had abruptly woken up with that exact same thought, her heart racing.

And every time she had, she remembered what it was she thought she couldn't do this anymore and she knew that it wasn't true. She'd rather it be this way than no way at all. Oh God, she was pathetic. She promised herself she would never be this. Especially with him. From day one, when she saw him for the first time, she knew there was a connection, a spark, a chemistry between them like no other. And married or not, it was undeniable. But that didn't mean she had to entertain it. It didn't mean that had to fall in love. But just like they "don't get to pick the vic", she knew you also don't get to pick the person you fall in love with. The heart wants what the heart wants.

She shivered and as she held her hands to her arms she suddenly remembered that she was completely naked. Her right hand snaked down to her stomach. It was clean now but earlier that night that's where he had spilled his seed.

Elliot always pulled out before he came. She supposed that she should actually demand that he use a condom. But there you go, another reason to hate herself and this whole situation. She couldn't bring herself to do that. Because she liked it that she could feel and have all of him with no barriers even if it is just for a few hours.

She closed her eyes remembering the first time that they had finally given in to each other. It was after a particularly harrowing trial wherein their suspect that they knew was guilty was acquitted. The defense lawyer had gotten a lot of their evidence thown out on technicalities leaving them and Kim Grayleck, flimsy little to work with. And that little wasn't enough and their case had gone to pieces.

Olivia and Elliot had decided to get some drinks after that and one thing led to another. The next she knew, she and Elliot had checked into the St. Mark's Hotel in St. Mark's place and they were fucking like rabbits the entire night. Both had been tipsy and both were emotionally wrought and doing what they did brought some comfort. They both had thought that it would never happen again. Not until it did again three days later. But this time, there was no excuse except the fact that they wanted each other. It was also that same night that they knew and admitted to one another that was never going to be a one night stand. And that night, Benson and Stabler got even more complicated.

Olivia shook her head, bringing herself to the present. After they were done making love and giving each other mind blowing orgasms, like always, for the last month and a half, they had cuddled for a few minutes. But then of course it was time for Elliot to leave. It was time for him to go home. And so he got up, got dressed and kissed her goodbye, telling her he'd see her at work. And then he was gone.

Now, in this late hour all she had left was an empty side of the bed smelling of him and their lovemaking.

Olivia lay back down and grabbed the pillow that had been under Elliot's head earlier. She embraced the pillow and inhaled the intoxicating scent that was him. Masculine, seductive, a sex god…

As sleep overtook Olivia once more, she thought to herself, "I can't wait to see him tomorrow."

She smiled to herself but then the smile faded abruptly when she realized that while she had her arms around a pillow, he probably had his arms around Kathy, his wife. A tear made its way down her cheek again. She squeezed her eyes closed, forcing herself back to sleep. And as she thankfully drifted back to sleep, she thought agonizingly, "I can't do this anymore…"

KATHY

Friday morning, about 11 am

It was laundry day and Kathy had brought all of the dirty clothes down to their basement to wash. One by one, she sorted the clothes. She was almost to the bottom when she pulled the shirt she knew Elliot had been wearing last night. He had come home late after telling her that he was going out with Fin and Munch.

It was almost 1 am when he came home and she had heard him go straight to the shower before he joined her in bed. At that point she had been too sleepy to ask him anything or do anything for that matter except snuggle into his arms when he embraced her.

But now, as she picked up and saw the shirt from last night, she immediately knew that he had lied. It was so cliché but there was a lipstick smudge on one of the sleeves. And it wasn't her color.

She sighed loudly and tears stung her eyes. "I don't think I can do this anymore…" Kathy said to no one but she had said it out loud.

She had known for about a month now about Elliot and Olivia. She had caught them one night when she decided to go down to the precinct and haul her husband's ass home. On her way there, she had passed the street where Elliot and Olivia's police issued car was parked. She had the shock of her life when she had seen the two of them kissing like they were devouring each other. He certainly never kissed her like that.

Her first instinct was to kick the shit out of Olivia and then Elliot. But thankfully she thought for a moment and instead she just walked away.

She has gone through a million scenarios on what she'd like to do to the both of them, but she suddenly realized that for the last month and a half, while he still came home late and worked like a fiend, when he was home, Elliot was more attentive. In fact, for the last couple of years, they've barely had any sex…she'd be lucky if they did it twice a month, but now, it seemed like every minute that he could get her alone, he'd be jumping her or kissing her. Not like what she saw but still in her opinion, it was still pretty hot.

Kathy wished she had never gone to that precinct that night. She would have happily lived in blissful ignorance if that was the kind of Elliot she'd have at home. But she had and she knew. And now, smelling the unfamiliar perfume that still clung faintly to his shirt and the lipstick, she knew he had lied and he had been with Olivia.

Feeling a surge of anger, she balled up the shirt and threw it forcefully into the washing machine. She hurriedly put the last few pieces of clothes into it and then turned it on.

The whirring sound of the machine calmed her down somewhat but in her mind, she heard once more what Elliot told her before he left for work and after they had made love, "Don't wait up for me, gotta go over some testimony for court tomorrow with Hardwick and Cutter, so it's probably gonna be a late night for me. ."

Kathy sank to the floor put her face in her hands and once more she thought, "I don't think I can do this anymore…"

ELLIOT

Friday, early evening

He ran cold water all over his face in the men's restroom of the 16th precinct. His heart was pounding and his face which had been pale for the last couple of hours was finally regaining some of its color.

"I can't fucking do this anymore." The thought came through loud and clear.

All of sudden, Elliot just punched the tile wall beside him. He cringed at the pain that he felt immediately after. But it was a pain that he welcomed. He'd rather feel this pain because he knew that it would end sooner or later. But the pain caused by the eternal emotional torment that he had be in for a month and a half and counting was different.

He had been angry at her because he had heard her accept a date with Mike Logan, formerly of Major Case and formerly of the 27th precinct. Of course, being married he could not fully voice out his displeasure and jealousy and it festered inside of him the entire day.

He was so jealous and so distracted by the unfamiliar feeling that he wasn't as en pointe as he usually was and Olivia almost got shot as they chased down a perp. Thankfully the bullet only grazed her shoulder and the injury was minor. She didn't even need stitches.

But when that happened, he realized he was in way deeper with Olivia than he thought. And that scared the shit out of him and elated the fuck out of him at the same time.

He put his hands on the sides of the sink he stood in front of. He gripped them hard as he stared at himself in the mirror. He dropped his head, unable to look at himself any more. But what he saw as he looked down made him despise the man staring back at him in that mirror even more. That band of gold on his left ring finger sparkled almost mockingly at him. He felt the urge to yank it off and flush it down the toilet. God knows, he didn't deserve the privilege of wearing the ring. He was an adulterous son of a bitch.

But what could he do, Olivia was intoxicating. He had been caught under her spell almost from the first day she walked into the 16th precinct. And finally he could no longer resist her powerful pull. He loved her – he knew it deep down, he loved her. But he had a wife with whom he had 5 kids with. And as he pictured Kathy with her long blonde hair, her beautiful smile and her loving ways, it also brought a smile to his face. God he loved her too. She was the mother of his children. And whatever happened for that alone, a part of him will always love her.

He had history with Kathy and a present. With Olivia, they too have history but very unlike the one with Kathy. But with Olivia, It was their present that made more of an impact to him and more important it was their future that he saw more clearly than a future with Kathy.

He saw Olivia's face in his head. Last night their lovemaking had been amazing. And the thought of her almost being shot today absolutely killed him.

Then he saw Kathy's face and the way she made love to him this morning.

"Fuck, Elliot what are you doing?"

He fought the urge to punch the wall again. Instead he just splashed cold water on his face again and sighed. As he left the restroom, he thought, once more "I can't do this anymore…"

Three people, one thought…what happens next? Get ready for a ride, dear readers.

In the meantime, please do review here and on Twitter: Jo_Bautista