Episode 1: The Obvious Menace
I do not own Star Wars, or any of the characters in it. They do not belong to me!
The Supreme Good Guy of the Republic has dispatched two Jedi Knights, defenders of peace, and all that good guy stuff, to stop the blockade of the peaceful little planet of Naboo by the evil Trade Federation...
A red republic peace cruiser flies into view...
A viewscreen flickers to life on the ship...
Mysterious Figure: Tell them we wish to board at once.
Disposable Pilot: The ambassadors wish to board at once.
Nute: Of course, we would be happy to kill- I mean receive the ambassadors.
On board the Trade Federation ship...
Obi: Master, something is wrong here...
Qui: I know Obi-wan! These colors clash!
Obi: No master, it is something else, elusive...
Qui: Keep your thoughts here Obi-wan...
Obi: But master Yoda said I should be mindful of the future.
Qui: That stupid Yoda doesn't know ying from yang!
A droid enters carrying drinks...
Droid: The Trade Federation will kill- I mean be with you in a moment...
Obi: This drink is nasty!
The ship bridge...
Nute: What? What did you say?
Droid: Do you have a hearing defect or something? The ambassadors are jedi knights!
Nute: (Points at a random person) Distract them, I will contact Lord Sideous!
Random Person: Are you brain dead? I'm not going in there with two jedi! Send the droid!
Droid: (I hate you!)
The meeting room...
Obi: Is it of their nature to make us wait this long?
Qui: No, I sense an unusual amount of fear for something as trivial as this trade dispute...
Obi: Maybe its Halloween?
Droid enters room...
Droid: Ummmmm... Who wants to hear me sing?
Obi: ....
Qui: ....
On the bridge...
Random Person: We can not defeat the Jedi! We're finished!
Sideous: Although you are right, I think you should at least try to kill them.
The ship that they came in gets destroyed, and poison gas begins to fill the meeting room...
Qui: The room is filling with poison gas!
Obi: No kidding man!
Qui Hold your breath Obi-wan!
Obi: *Gacccckkkk* Oh, right...
Outside the meeting room battle droids surround the door...
Hologram of Nute: Open the door so they can escape!
Droid Commander: Yes sir!
Door opens and the jedi leap out and destroy the battle droids...
Obi: That was easy...
Qui: Toooooo easy... *Raises an eybrow*
The ship bridge...
Nute: What is going on down there? We lost the transmission!
Comm Officer: The two jedi probably escaped and are making their way to the bridge to capture us all and stop our evil blackade.
Nute: Ahhhh... I knew that!
The bridge door, Qiu-Gon is trying to slice it open...
Qui: I think I got it, I got it, I GOT IT!
Obi: Thats Han Solos line, stupid!
Qui: Right, I knew that...
Destroyer droids come rolling down the hall...
Qui: These droids are too powerful! We must escape into the ventilation shaft!
Obi: We can take them!
Qui: No we can't!
Obi: Yes we can!
Qui: No!
Obi: Yes!
Qui: No!
Obi: Yes!
Qui: No!
Obi: Yes!
Qui: No!
Obi: Yes!
Qui: Yes!
Obi: No!
Qui: Ha-ha! Gottcha!
Obi: Shoot!
The jedi drop down the ventilation shaft onto the hanger floor...
Qui: A droid army! Its looks like any invasion!
Obi: Gee, what lead you to that conclusion Sherlock?
Qui: Quiet! Stow aboard separate transports so we can't find each other when we get there!
Obi: Like hide and seek?
Qui: .....
The Trade Federation bridge...
A view screen comes on, and an elaborately dressed woman appears...
Nute: Ahhhhh, is queen Amidala herself! Greetings, what can the Trade Federation do for you today?
Queen: I want a triple cheeseburger, a medium fry, and a small coke, and a side of self-destruct codes for your ships...
Nute: Yes, of course, your order will be ready in a few mintues!
Amidala: Thank you.
Amidala disappears from the viewscreen...
Nutes Aid: Do you think she suspects an attack?
Nute: I dunno, but we must moves quickly to disrupt the order, before it is sent to her! Begin landing the troops...
The transports land and Qui-Gon sneaks off his and has to run as the transports head down his way...
Qui: *Puff* *Puff*
A frog guy jumps on Qui-Gon and knocks him over...
The transports pass harmlessly over them...
Jar: Ohh! Moue, moue! Yousa saveded me!
Qui: Get out of here.
Jar: No, no! Mesa stay! Mesa your humble servant!
Qui: Go jump off a cliff.
Jar: Hmmm... Maybe mesa not THAT loyal...
A swoop bears down on a fleeing Obi-Wan nearby...
Qui-Gon ignites his lightsaber and defects the bolts back on the swoop...
Jar: Oh! Moue, moue! You saveded my again!
Obi: Whats this?
Qui: Al Gore.
Jar: Uhhhh... You wantsa to gosa to an un city?
Qui: Yes.
Jar: Mesa not take you there! Mesa has been BANISHED!
Qui: Do you hear those explosions off in the distance?
Jar: No...
Qui: That is the sound of a thousand terrible things heading this way!
Obi: If they find us they will crush us, grind us, and BLAST us into a million pieces!
Jar: Oh, yousa point is not very well seen, but I will take you to city!
They dive underwater and swim to the city...
Jar: So good being home!
Guard: Jar-Jar! Yousa in big doo doo this time!
Obi: Thats funny, he doesn't appear to be in any doo-
Qui: Lets go find the boss!
In front of Boss Nass...
Boss: PLLLLPPPGGGHHHTTTTT!!!
Obi: ......
Qui: ......
Boss: Yousa cannot be hersa!
Obi: Well, tada! We're here!
Qui: We need to get to the Naboo to warn them of the droid invasion.
Boss: Wesa no liiiiike the Naboo!
Qui: That wasn't what I asked you....
Boss: Isa give yous una bongo! The speediest was to the Naboo, is through the plant core, its very baaaad bombin, and bery scarrrry! PPPLLLLLGGGGHHHHTTTTT!!!
Obi: ......
Qui: ......
Qui: Can we have Jar-Jar?
Boss: Sure... PPPLLLLLGGGGHHHHHTTTT
Obi: .......
Qui: .......
Obi: Master, whats a bongo?
Qui: Its a type of drum.
Obi: What does he mean that the core is "Bombin"?
Qui: I suppose it means that we'll have fun there.
Obi: .......
The bongo, (Which is an underwater transport) speeds through the bombin core...
Jar: This is nutsy! OH GOOBERFISH!
Obi: Right... Why were you banished Jar Jar?
Jar: Well... Its a longo tall... But, ah, mesa cause one or two little bitty acidentys! You would say, boom the gusher, then crash into bosses heyblibber, then banished!
Obi: Whats a gusher and a heyblibber?
Jar: Donno! Just words in the scripty!
Qui & Obi: The almighty script! *Get into yoga style position and start chanting*
Suddenly a big shrimp like fish snatches the ship...
Jar: Uh-oh! BIG gooberfish!
Obi: Let go you maggot!
Qui: Insulting him won't help Obi-Wan!
The fish shrimpy goobery thing carries the bongo of to his band to play with them, when a big sea monster reaches up and bites the shrimpy goobery thing and makes it release the bongo...
Qui: Theres always a bigger fish...
Obi: Qui-Gon, that was the most pathetic excuse for a joke phrase that I have ever heard! They should send you to the space mines of Kessel for that! Blast you into a million pieces! Eject you into space-
Qui: Be quiet my young apprentice!
While going through a cave, the bongo loses power...
Some little lights come on even though the power is off, and Obi-Wan starts working on the bongo...
Jar: Wesa die in here!
Qui: Relax, we aren't dead yet, although I'm going to die by the end of the movie...
Jar: We gonna die! Leaking in here, monsters out there, all sinking and no power?
When is yousa thinking wesa in trouble?
Qui: Ok Jar-Jar, three points, we aren't leaking...
Bolt comes out of bongo and it starts leaking...
Qui: There are not "monsters" out there...
Obi-Wan gets the power back on by fiddling with a few wires, and the lights come on illuminating a huge monster like fish ahead of them...
Qui: We are not sinking ether...
Obi: Master, if we don't get to land soon, the power will run out and we will sink!
Qui: .......
Jar: MONSTERS! AGAGDFGDADGFADGADS! (Actual quote)
Qui: Just relax... *Uses the vulcan death grip on Jar Jar*
Jar: BUUURRGGGHHH!! GACCCCKKKKK!!! ECCCCHHHHH! *Faints*
Qui: I think I overdid it!
Obi: The grand overstatement of the day!
The bongo rushes away from the fish which swims after them...
While chasing them, the fish gets eaten by that sea monster thing...
The bongo races through the bombin planet core...
In Amidalas throne room, she is having a meeting with everybody that is remotely important...
There is a hologram of Senator Palpatine talking with them...
Palpatine: The negations haven't starting yet? Where are the jedi knights? I got word that they did arrive! Wha- gurlk, burmp, jurluk...
The hologram is disrupted, and the senator disappears...
Amidala: Senator! Don't leave me!
Chief of Security, Panaka: I bet someones on the Internet! *Walks off to try and find them*
Senator Bibble: This could only mean one thing, invasion!
Amidala: The trade federation would not DARE go that far! We must continue to rely on the power of cheese!
Bibble: Cheese? We've lost all our cows! Where are those cattle ships when you need them?
What about the jedi? Where are they?
Amidala: They probably are racing through the planet core in a bongo that they got from the Gungans, they are going to jump down and save us when we are being taking to be processed!
Handmaidens: *In unison* Ahhhh, you are so smart queen Amidala!
Amidala: I will not condone a course of action, which will lead us the cream cheese!
The Trade Federation takes over the city of Theed without much resistance.
Nute and his aid walk off a transport, in the shortest scene in history...
Droid: Viceroy, we have captured the queen!
Nute: Ahhhhh.... Checkmate!
The viceroy is talking to the queen, her handmaidens, Bibble, and Panaka as they walk down some steps surrounded with battle droids...
Nute: All right, you need to sign this treaty that gives us right to your cheese factories!
Queen: I will not sign it! Those ugly, dirty factories are our pride and joy!
Nute: All right, then you will all be PROCESSED!
All the Prisoners in unison: *Flim slows down* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Battle droids are escorting the prisoners to be PROCESSED when Jar-Jar jumps down, and using a variety of Karate, Kung-foo, and the ancient art of Butt-Whoop, destroys all the battle droids...
Obi: Cool moves Jar-Jar!
Jar: Mesa grand!
Qui: Do you have transports?
Panaka: We could use the stargate...
Qui: Wrong film, didn't you read the script?
Qui & Obi: The almighty script! *Get into yoga style position and start chanting*
Panaka: *Flips through script* Ohhhhhh!
Panaka: In the main hanger, this way...
Right outside the hanger...
Panaka: There are too many of them!
Qui: Don't worry, they don't sting. You need the come with us your majesty
Queen: Of course!
Padme: We are brave your highness.
Queen: Thank you for that unnecessary comment quee- I mean Padme.
Panaka: We need to free those pilots.
Obi: You do it, I need to eat this Little Debbie.
Droid: Malt!
Qui: I'm taking these people to the ice cream shop to get ice cream.
Droid: Where are you taking them?
Qui: Are you deaf or something? I'm taking them to Bob Bubba Billies to get some spare tires!
Droid: Very well, have a nice day. Take those pilots with you too.
Obi: That was really easy!
Qui: Toooooo easy... *Raises an eybrow*
Obi: Master, that joke is getting old...
The ship blasts away through the blockade, but hits the side of a ship, and loses the hyperdrive...
They decide to land on Tatooine to get a new hyperdrive...
Qui: I'll take Jar-Jar into town with me, this little droid called R2 can go with me too for some strange reason.
Padme: I want to go to! I- I mean the queen would like to learn more about this planet.
Qui: This is not a good idea.
Padme: Do you want me to start crying?
Qui: Fine the, brat. Come along.
They walk into town until they come to a parts dealer...
They walk inside, a flying blue pig named Watto greets them...
Watto: Opah bada noia! What can I do for you?
Qui: I'm looking for a 123 Seasame Street Ship hyperdrive.
Watto: Seasame Street eh? Why got lotsa that! Oh, heyg! Wabba they yonga!
A boy runs in...
Watto: Docha! Donayag!
Boy: Metasa no bota!
Watto: Cheg cheg, Nooy ya!
Padme: How can you understand that?
Boy: I hear the deep space pilots talk. Are you an angel?
Padme: What?
Boy: An angel, I hear the deep space pilots talk about them a lot.
Padme: Right, uh, do you work here?
Boy: Yes, I used to work for Garba the Butt, until she lost us betting on the spoon matches.
Padme: You're a slave?
Boy: I'm a person, and my name is Anakin!
Padme: Well, excuuuuuse me!
Watto and Qui-Gon are talking in Watto's junkyard...
Qui: You can charge the hyperdrive on my credit card.
Watto: What? Visa? We don't take Visa out here!
Qui: Visa will do fine. *Waves his hand*
Watto: No, it won't!
Qui: Visa will do fine. *Waves his hand*
Watto: No, it won't!
Qui: Visa will do fine. *Waves his hand*
Watto: No, it won't!
Qui: Visa will do fine. *Waves his hand*
Watto: No, it won't!
Qui: Visa will do fine. *Waves his hand*
Watto: No, it won't!
Qui: I can see we can't agree here, good day!
He walks back into the shop...
Jar-Jar has managed to tear the shop apart while he was gone...
Padme: You're a funny little boy!
Anakin: Stop it! You're going to make me cry!
Qui: Come on, were going.
Anakin: It was nice talking to you!
Padme: Yah, whatever.
Watto: Tooma tooma taffa.
Anakin: Allma nooma dooma.
Qui-Gon is speaking through his commlink...
Qui: Well, they won't take Visa here, and I left my Mastercard at home...
Obi: We could sell the queens wardrobe, they would raise a few million credits.
Qui: No, the queen has to be dressed up throughout the movie.
Obi: Shoot.
They are heading back to the ship, when Jar-Jar bumps into a spooner called Sebulba...
Jar-Jar brings him down with Butt-Whoop, and Anakin shows up...
Anakin: Wow, that was some pretty good fighting Jar-Jar!
Jar: Awwww... You really like mesa?
Anakin: Here, buy some fruit from this stand right here their really good. By the way, I see your laser sword mister.
Qui: Thats nice, what kind of fruit do you have?
Vendor: Druie Dung Pears, and Malistar Nasty Apples!
Qui: My favorites!
Vendor: Uh-oh Annie. My bones are aching! A flood is coming!
Qui: Maybe you're just old.
Anakin: Do you have anywhere to stay?
Qui: We got a run down place at the Galaxies End hotel.
Anakin: You'll never make it back in time! I had better get you to my house. My mom won't care!
At Anakins house...
Anakin: Honey, I'm home!
Shamim, Anakins mom: *Sees Qui-Gon* AAAUUUGGGGHHHH!!!
Anakin: Relax mom, they're just a couple of strangers I picked up off of the street.
They needed a place to stay because the flood was coming. Come on Padme, you wanna see
C-3PO?
Padme: I have no idea what you are talking about, but ok.
Qui: Shmi, your boy is very special. He can see dead people.
Shmi: Yes, I know. Can you help him?
Qui: I don't know...
Smi: HELP HIM!
Qui: Auuuggghh! Al right, fine! I'll help him!
In Anakins room...
Anakin: This is my droid C-3PO. He doesn't have an outer covering yet, though I hope to give him a copper one.
R2-D2 comes in behind them...
Anakin: Here, I'll turn him on.
He turns him on, and the droid sits up...
C3PO: Oh my goodness, I can't see very well.
Anakin: Whoops, looks like I forgot to put in one of his eyes.
C3PO: Oh, you awful person!
R2: Bweep, ding-long zirrp!
C3PO: What do you mean, I'm naked?
All: He-ha-ha-ha! 3PO is naked! 3PO is naked! 3PO is naked! 3PO is naked!
C3PO: Stop it all of you meanies! I'm going to go off in a corner and cry now!
Later, at the dinner table...
R2: *Burp*
All: ......
Shmi: So, what brings you to Tatooine?
Qui: We're looking for parts to a 123 Seasame Street Ship, a hyperdrive to be more specific.
We won't go to anyone else then Watto for the parts for some weird reason.
Anakin: You're a jedi knight aren't you?
Qui: No, I'm Boba Fett.
Anakin: Oh, sorry...
Smi: No Annie, he is jus trying to fool you. He is a jedi knight that is protecting a queen from Naboo.
Qui: How do you know all that?
Jar-Jar tries to look innocent...
Anakin: I could win you some money at the spoon matches if you want.
Shmi: No Annie! Its awful! I die every time Watto makes you do it!
Qui: Everyone get back! She's a ZOMBIE!
Shmi: Thats just a figure of speech stupid.
Qui: Oh, I knew that!
Anakin: I could use a spoon that you provided, and enter under your name as a sponser!
The money would more then pay for the parts you need.
Qui: Well, your mother doesn't want you doing it.... So ok.
Shmi: Yes, go ahead Anakin. You were meant to help him, he was meant to help you. You were meant to destroy the-
Director: No plot spoilers now!
Shmi: Shoot.
Jar: Mesa wanto say somerthing!
Qui: You did, now on to the next scene.
The next day, Anakin, Jar-Jar, and Padme are out working on a spoon for the race...
Shmi and Qui-Gon are watching on a balcony...
Anakin: Be careful Jar-Jar, if you get your hand caught in that laser beam, it will go numb for hours.
Padme: Stick your head in that colored light over there Jar-Jar.
Jar: *ZAAAPPP* Auuggllhhh.. My toog, my toog is gumb! My gumb!
Padme: *Snicker*
A bunch of kids run up from off the screen and start talking to Annie about the spoon...
Kid 1: *Canned laughter* Are you really going to enter in a spoon match?
Anakin: Yep!
Kid 2: Your such a joker Annie! Ha-ha-ha!
Kid 3: Come on, let's play ball. Have fun Annie, your going to be bug squat! *Canned laughter*
The kids run away...
Anakin: All right, lets see if this spoon works...
Jar: *Bonks Jar-Jar with the spoon* Ouugghh! Gob tiff!
Anakin: *Snicker*
C3PO: I do say R2, that Jar-Jar creature is a little, odd.
R2: That's an understatement.
All: DID HE TALK? *Faints*
At night on the balcony, Qui-Gon is cleaning some a Anakins cuts...
Anakin: There are so many stars! I've never been able to see them before.
Qui: Errrrr... Why?
Anakin: I'm usually chained in the basement.
Qui: *Shudder*
Anakin: Hey, why are you scraping some of my blood into that commchip?
Qui: Just checking for infections.
Shmi: Annie? Where are you? The basement awaits!
Anakin: Uhhhh.. I got to go! 'Night!
Qui: Sleep tight, don't let the bugs bunny bite!
Anakin: Don't you mean bed bugs?
Qui: Errrrrr... Yes.
Anakin: Ummm... 'Night.
Runs off to the basement...
Qui-Gon inserts the chip into the commlink...
Qui: Obi-Wan, check the "ISEEDEADPEOPLE" cell count in this blood sample.
Obi: Its readings are off the chart! Even master Yoda doesn't have a count that high!
Qui: No one does.
Obi: Except him.
Qui: Right.
Obi: What does it mean?
Qui: I don't know, I don't know.
Obi: Some bright bulb you are, bye.
The next day, at the spoon preparation center...
Anakin: Look, there's the grand champion, Sebulba.
Jar: Grrrrrr...
Padme: What is spoons Anakin?
Anakin: You hit each other over the head with a spoon really hard, until someone starts crying.
Padme: That's cruel!
Watto: I hear that you want to sponsor the boy in a match!
Qui: Yes, and I'd like to make a bet. If I win, the boy will be freed from slavery, if I lose, you keep my ship.
Watto: Deal!
Watto & Qui: (Idiot)
Kid: Hey Annie, are you going to finish a match this time?
Padme: You haven't finished a match before?!?!
Anakin: I'll finish it this time!
Padme: *SOB*
The spoon match is about to start...
Qui: Remember Anakin, trust your feelings. Feel, don't think.
Anakin: I'm not going to listen to you! You aren't my couch! Get out of here before I hit you with my spoon!
The match starts...
Announcer: Its Annie against Sebulba! Oh! Ouch! Oh! Ouch! Oh! Ouch! Oh! Ouch! Oh! Ouch! Oh! Ouch! Oh! Ouch! Oh! Ouch! Oh! Ouch! Oh! Ouch! Is it, YES IT IS! SEBULBA IS CRYING! ANNIE WINS!
Crowd: ........... Yay........
They get the parts they need, and take Anakin with them...
But first, big mushy good bye scene...
Dramatic music...
Anakin: I'll miss you mother!
Shmi: Goodbye my little sugar tart!
Anakin: I'll miss you mother!
Shmi: Goodbye my little sugar tart!
Anakin: I'll miss you mother!
Shmi: Goodbye my little sugar tart!
Anakin: I'll miss you mother!
Shmi: Goodbye my little sugar tart!
Anakin: Ok, bye. *Walks off*
They are walking along to the ship, when suddenly, a big bad guy jumps in front of them...
Bad: Grrrrr....
Qui: Run to the ship Annie, tell them to take off!
Anakin: But I want to watch you fight him!
Qui: *Glares*
Anakin: Ok, I'll go!
Qui-Gon and the BIG BAD GUY have a lightsaber battle...
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Qui: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Qui: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Qui: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Qui: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Qui: *Grunt* *Slash*
At this point, the ship flies overhead, and Qui-Gon jumps up to it...
The ships speeds away before the BIG BAD GUY can jump up too...
Obi: What was it?
Qui: A BIG BAD GUY!
Obi: NOOOOOOOO!!! *Runs off screaming*
Anakin: Is he a jedi too?
Qui: No.
They fly to Corsucant, and debate the matter in a Galactic meeting...
Supreme Cheese: We do not allow any smoking, eating, drinking or breathing in this meeting...
All: *GASP*
Supreme Cheese: Queen Amidala, speak now, or forever hold your peace.
Amidala: Some bad guys have invaded Naboo.
Trade Federation: This outrageous! We recommend a commission be sent to see for themselves!
Another Guy: We concur with the Trade Federation because we were bribed!
Supreme Cheese: We want to send a commission to Naboo, will you accept?
Amidala: No, I will go back and fight them alongside the jedi!
Qui & Obi: (Shoot)
The Trade Federation ship...
A hologram of Darth Sideous appears...
Sideous: Knock knock.
Nute: Who's is it?
Sideous: You're supposed to say, "Who's there?
Nute: Quotation mark, Double-you, Ache, Ohh-
Sideous: Never mind! The jedi and the queen are coming back to fight you, you must kill them all!
Nute: Yes my lord.
The queens ship lands on Naboo, and Jar-Jar goes to try to persuade the Gungans to fight the droids...
Jar: These is nobody there! City is deserted! They probably at sacred place! Follow me!
Sacred place...
Boss: PPPLLLGGGHHHHTTTTTT!!!
All: .......
Padme: I'm the queen!
Handmaiden: Shoot, I was having fun.
Padme: We don't think we are greater then you!
Boss: Well, ok! Wesa help yousa! PPLLLLGGGGHHHHTTTTT!!!
All: How did he get elected?
Everybody is planning the assualt...
Padme: We will sneak in the palace and capture the viceroy.
Boss: We will fight the droid army as a distraction for you.
Qui: I, and my apprentice will keep you safe.
Padme: Ok, its settled then. Move out!
Boss: PPPPPGGGGGTTTTHHHHH!!!
All: .......
The jedi are storming the palace with the queen, when they meet the BIG BAD GUY...
Qui: We'll take care of this, you go the long way.
They start fighting...
The queen goes down a hall, only to be captured, and escorted to Nute...
Meanwhile Annie, being bored, wanders around the palace forgotten...
Anakin: Wow, a real fighter! I wonder how it works?
He climbs in the cockpit, and accidentally blasts off to the Trade Federation ship...
He launches a proton torpedo at the main reactor, and the ship blows up...
All the droids deactivate, and the Gungans are not sure what happened...
Meanwhile in the throne room...
Nute: You have lost! BWA-HA-HA!
Queen: Never! *Punch*
Nute: Ugggghhh...
The queen captures Nute single handedly, while some guards rush in the room and shoot the battle droids...
Meanwhile,Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are fighting the big bad guy...
Obi-Wan is separated by a forcefield, and watches the battle...
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Qui: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Qui: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Qui: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Qui: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Qui: *Ouchie!*
Bad: Ha-ha-ha!
Qui-Gon gets cut...
Obi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
The forcefield deactivates, and Obi-Wan rushes to the BIG BAD GUY...
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Obi: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Obi: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Obi: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Obi: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Obi: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Grunt* *Slash*
Obi: *Grunt* *Slash*
Bad: *Ouchie*
The BIG BAD GUY dies, and Obi-Wan rushes over to Qui-Gon...
Qui: Luke, its too late!
Obi: Wrong line!
Qui: Promise me you will train the boy!
Obi: Why?
Qui: Just do it. Also...
Obi: What? What is it?
Qui: I... I... I left the iron on!
Obi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
They give Qui-Gon a funeral, and then have a parade...
Everyone is standing a platform, and the Boss holds up a giant glowing ball...
Boss: PEEEAAACCCCEEEE! PPLLLLGGGGHHHTTTT!!!
All: .........
Crowd: ......... Yay........
THE END
(Star Wars Music)