A/N: This truly is the last chapter, and it makes me very, very sad for it to be over, so sad that it took me awhile to write it! I hope you like it.

Self Esteem Ch 25: Better Days

Edward:

"Edward! Edward wake-up." I hear Bella whisper-yell and I wonder why she sounds so insistent. In my dreams, she is usually naked, writhing underneath me and calling my name out, loud and clear. "Edward, please, please wake-up!" She pleads again and my mind starts to register this is not, in fact, a dream.

"No, don't want to wake up, just lay here, hold you." I manage to grumble sleepily as I pull her warm body closer against mine.

"Edward," she giggles quietly a little, but says, "It's almost 5am. My dad gets up at 5:30am for work and you cannot be laying in my bed if he decides to check on me." then I remember. I fell asleep in her room last night. I have a momentary flash of panic, but it doesn't last with her in my arms, wearing only a very open, purple robe.

"Does he usually check on you in the morning?" I ask just to be sure.

"No, not usually, but…" she starts as my lips find the junction where her shoulder meets her neck to kiss it softly.

"Did you lock the door last night?" I ask again allowing my hand to roam over her flat stomach.

"Yes, but…"

"Then, let's not worry about it." I say planting another kiss higher up on her neck and continuing in a line toward her ear. I bite gently on her lobe and I'm rewarded with a shiver.

"Edward, he has guns… guns, Edward." She says as she moves her jaw closer to give me better access. "This is so not a good idea" she says unconvincingly and twists the front of her body to meet mine, claiming my mouth greedily.

Just as she opens he mouth so I can deepen the kiss, we hear thud and freeze. We pull back and look at each other in terror. All of a sudden, those guns she mentioned are in the forefront of my mind. We lay frozen for what seems like eternity before hearing the cruiser start up and we both let out a sigh of relief as the gravel crunches under the tires. "I thought he doesn't get up until 5:30? It's not even 5." I say, my heart still beating overly fast.

"He must have gotten called in early." She says and rests her forehead on my chest. We lay there like that for a few moments and then she looks up at me, her eyes hungry. "Good morning." She wiggles her hips a little obviously feeling my arousal. I groan and lean in to kiss her again.

"Good morning," I say rolling her onto her back. Her robe opens further and conveniently exposes her perfect breasts. Her nipples are already hard enough to cut glass as I lean down to take one in my mouth.

"Edward, you are a little over dressed aren't you? Did you even take off your shoes?" She giggles, but I ignore her teasing and try to continue my ministrations as I use my toes to take my shoes off. They land with a thump on the floor. She moves her hands to pull my shirt up my torso. I stop what I'm doing just long enough to help her take it off. Her hands move to undo the fly of my jeans and it is open before the shirt is even over my head. Damn. "Off, Edward," she sort of grunts pulling my pants down as far as she can reach.

I have to smile. She is really horny in the mornings. I'll have to find a way to be here when she wakes up more often. I sit back on my knees, enjoying the way she looks at me as I pull my jeans and boxer briefs off in one move. Her eyes never leave mine as she removes the remainder of her robe. No panties, nice. She sits up, throws the robe on the floor next to my clothes, and scrambles up my lap. She grabs my neck and pulls me to her forcefully. Her tongue immediately claims my mouth – and claim is the right word. She is dominating me in every way… and I love it. We fall backwards and she moves her legs to either side of my hips. Her hot, wet center is rubbing up and down my shaft as she moves her hips. I want her… badly.

"Bella, God, I want you. I want you, please. I want you." Is all I manage. She smiles and bites my bottom lip gently while continuing to move her hips. I can feel her in every nerve ending. "Please, baby." I beg.

"How do you want me? I'm yours." She smiles.

Oh, the possibilities! But what I really want is to make her feel good – better than good. So I gently push on her shoulders to move her backwards as I whisper in her ear, "First, I want to taste you and make you come with my tongue, then I want to make love to you."

"Mmmm, Edward, yessss." She says laying back. I kiss my way down her body, taking extra time to nuzzle her nipples and flick them with my tongue and pull gently on her belly ring. From the noises she makes I realize I could probably make her come just like this, perhaps another time. Right now, I'm on a mission. I pause one more time to kiss each hipbone before going lower and sinking my tongue into her wetness. I lick her clit with the flat of my tongue a few times and then flick it with the tip. She grabs my hair and pulls hard enough to cause just the right amount of pain as I push a finger inside her. Jesus, she is so wet!

"Oh, God, Edward, yesss. Fuck, Edward." She mumbles almost incoherently, her hips rolling into my face. I add another finger and swipe my pinky along her back entrance. She bucks her hips up in pleasure. "Oh, yes, please. Yes. I want to feel you everywhere. Everywhere, please." She moans. I know she is getting close when her body starts to shake, so I add a third finger and push my pinky into her back entrance using her juices as lubrication. With just a few more licks, her whole body freezes and then shakes with the force of her orgasm. I don't stop moving my fingers and licking her clit until she starts to come down. I remove my hand and kiss my way back up to meet her waiting mouth. It is so fucking hot when she kisses me like that while her exquisite taste is still on my tongue.

"More, Edward, more. I need to feel you inside of me. Please." She whimpers.

"You don't want to take a min…"

"No, now. I want you just like this. I want to feel your weight on my body as you take me. Please, make love to me, baby."

She doesn't have to ask again. I line myself up with her opening and slowly push in. I love the feel of her as I sink into her hot, wet flesh. It feels like silk against my sensitive skin. When I'm all the way in she puts her head on my shoulder "I love you" she says.

"I love you, too. More than you could ever know." I pull out and push back in slowly a few times before her hips start to come up to meet mine, letting me know she wants it faster. I comply. I make sure my pubic bone hits her clit with every stroke. We grunt and gasp and pant together as or bodies move in a steady rhythm.

"Oh, God, Bella, you feel so fucking good. So good." I ground out when I feel the tell-tale tightening in my stomach. "I'm gonna come, baby. Are you almost there?" I ask

"Mhm." She mutters with her bottom lip between her teeth. I shift backward onto my haunches taking her with me. The new angle feels incredible. She kisses me desperately as I thrust my hips and help her lift up and down on me simultaneously. "Soooo, deep. Sooo good." She moans. It doesn't take long to feel her tighten around me and I finally allow myself to let go, spilling inside her. Her whole body shakes and she screams my name. We collapse on the bed side-by-side and I pull her to my chest. I am laying there all blessed out when I feel her tears running down my chest. I maneuver her so I can look directly into her eyes and start to panic at the tears I see streaming down her cheeks.

"Bella, what's wrong? Did I hurt you? Why are you crying?" I rush out.

"I'm good. I'm more than good, I'm amazing, incredible even." She says laughing through the tears.

"Then why are you crying?" I am really confused.

"Because I love you and I'm just so grateful that I didn't push you away and lose you forever. I'm just so happy that we are here, together. Finally in a good place." She sniffles.

I can't help the smile that breaks across my face. "I love you too, Bella. I don't ever want to be apart from you again. Ever." I say and kiss her hard enough to leave her lips bruised I'm sure. We lay together, silently holding each other for who knows how long. The sun is up now and I know I should call Emmett for a ride home to get ready for school, but I just don't want to let her go. Finally, my phone beeps and I sigh as I reach for my jeans to get my phone from the front pocket. Dude, its after 6. Hope the Chief didn't kill U. I CYA. Told mom u had a bio project & went in early with A. I'll bring you a clean shirt. Ur awesome bro.

I have to smile at my brother. He really is pretty awesome. Still alive. Thnx 4 the save & the shirt. Why'd Alice go in early? – Ed I get a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. That little pixie had better not be up to anything.

Not sure. Said something bout puttin the dog on a leash? Who the fuck knows. C U b4 1st. –Em Fuck, I knew it. Well, whatever she's up to better not touch Bella.

"Who was that? Your face is all sour now." She says trying to smooth the crease between my eyes with her index finger.

"Em covered for me, but Alice is up to something. She went to school super early." I scowl again at the thought of what she could be doing.

"I don't care, Edward. I don't care about anything or anyone else. I just want to be with you, try to make amends with Angela and Ben and forget Bella the Bitch. So stop worrying, ok?"

"I'll try." I sigh "Can I take a shower and borrow your toothbrush? I love the smell and taste of you, but I don't want to walk around school smelling like sex." I lean over and nuzzle my nose into her neck.

"Yes, take a shower, you can use Charlie's stuff, but you cannot us my toothbrush- ew! I have an extra under the sink." She snuggles back into bed as I stand, but I have no intention of taking a shower alone. I lean over and pick her up bridal style. She laughs and flails her arms and legs. "Edward, what are you doing? Let me go. We don't have time for this!" She says trying to sound disapproving.

"I don't want you to be lonely in this bed all by yourself. And what happens if I slip in the shower and hit my head? I could get hurt and you wouldn't be there to save me." I say entering the small bathroom and setting her down on the mat. "Really, its self preservation." I kiss her neck.

"Self-preservation? Really, Edward?" She crosses her arms across her chest, but has a wide smile on her face and a sparkle in her eye. "I think I'm the one who is more likely to slip and hit my head don't you?"

"Well, I'll be here to catch you then, won't I?" I reach over and turn on the water.

"Oh, well in that case." She says as she steps over the tub into the water. I follow, moving her hair over one shoulder so I can kiss down the back of her neck and across her shoulder. She reaches back and grasps my cock that is already hard for her again.

"Oh, Fuck, Bella." I moan resting my head on her shoulder as she works me up and down. "You are amazing."

"Just making sure you are good and ready." She replies

I move my hands around her front and easily find her already swollen clit. "Ready for what?" I try to sound innocent, but I probably don't succeed.

She looks back at me over one shoulder and says matter-of-factly, "Ready to fuck me. Hard." Have I mentioned how much I love her? God she is just so fucking perfect for me.

"Oh, I'm ready are you?" I move my fingers down to her opening and plunge my fingers in a few times to make sure. She stops pumping me to revel in the feeling of my fingers inside of her "You are so ready." I smile.

As she turns around, she jumps up to straddle my waist and I use the wall to help support her back. I'm sheathed inside of her and pumping in and out within seconds. "You want me to fuck you hard, baby?" I growl.

"Yes, fuck me. Fuck me so hard. I need to feel you." With that confirmation, I move her up and down my length while pumping my hips as fast as I dare on the wet surface. I don't think I've ever been so happy for those rubber daisy-looking things that keep you from slipping. Bella is clutching my back so hard, I know I'll have marks, but I don't care as long as she keeps moaning and panting with every thrust.

"Mmmmm, Bella. God you feel so fucking amazing. I can't get enough. I don't want this to end."

"Edward, I'm coming. I'm coming. Ffffuck! I'm… Oh, Edward." I feel her walls clamp down, triggering my own orgasm. I hold her close as we both come down and we continue to kiss, now softly, tenderly. I can feel the love poured into every touch of her lips.

"I love you." I murmur as she puts her feet back on the tub floor.

"Mmmmm, I love you, too." She says back. The rest of the shower is uneventful. I wash her with her puff-thingy and she does the same for me with a clean washcloth. I take my time washing and conditioning her hair. We don't say much, but it is so intimate. I feel closer to her right now than I ever have before.

We dress quickly and grab a granola bar on the way out to Bella's beast of a truck. We chat amicably during the five-minute drive to school and Bella pulls in right next to Emmett's Jeep.

"Dude, you're late." Emmett says throwing a clean t-shirt and flannel at my head. "I wonder what took so long?" He sneers and waggles his eyebrows causing Bella to turn beet-red.

"You're an asshole, Em." I punch him in the arm, "but thanks for covering my ass at home and bringing the clean stuff anyway." I quickly change shirts and throw the dirty one in Bella's truck.

"I can't pass up any opportunity to make double B blush. I have years of catching up to do." He laughs and I put my arm tight around Bella's waist with a gentle squeeze in apology for my stupid-ass brother.

I can feel Bella hesitate as we reach the doors to the school, so I lean down to kiss the top of her head. "It'll be OK. I've got you." I whisper. She doesn't respond but lifts her head, squares her shoulders, and walks forward. That's my girl.

If I'm being completely truthful, I am a little nervous as well. Who knows what Alice has done or what Lauren has planned for today. But when we walk in, no one pays us any attention. Finally, as it should be. People are excessively interested in our private lives if you ask me. As we walk to Bella's locker, Maggie catches my eye and gives me a small wave. I smile back at her. I'm not going to hold a grudge. All is right in my world right now. When she is done, we head toward my locker and meet my family who are, as usual, standing around waiting for the bell to ring. Emmett is trying to feel Rose up without her noticing- idiot. Alice and Jasper are staring longingly into each other's eyes and talking in code about sex- gross. We say hi and I grab my stuff before I walk her to her first class. Just as it looks like we will make it without incident, someone rushes up to Bella.

BELLA:

I start to let my guard down as we reach the door of my first class - I am all warm and gooey inside thinking about my incredible morning with Edward- when someone rushes up and throws her arms around me.

"Thank you, Bella. I knew you weren't totally lost. I thought I saw a glimpse of the old you from time-to-time. I am so glad you two finally found each other." Angela Weber says before letting go and taking a step back.

I'm shocked and not sure what she is talking about. "Angela, I didn't…I don't…" I start to question what she is thanking me for, but she interrupts me- I don't remember her being so talkative.

"No. I know what you did for my family, for Ben's. I wish you had told me. I hate that we've lost so many years to stupid decisions and petty bullshit!" I bow my head as the embarrassment and guilt flood my face, "but that's all done and over with, let's just move on. I would like the opportunity to get to know you again. We should all hang out! Double maybe. I'll get your number from Edward. Bye." She rushes out in one breath, before running down the hall to meet up with Ben. Ben smiles and waves too. I'm not quite sure what is going on, so I look at Edward, who shrugs.

"My guess would be Alice. She somehow knows a whole bunch of stuff you've done over the past few years, you know for Angela and Ben. She thinks it was your way of trying to redeem yourself." He smiles. I didn't know anyone knew about any of that.

"I didn't do it to make amends; I did it because it was right. Their families did not deserve to suffer and I was in a position to help. I didn't really think about it. I just did it." I mutter looking at my shoes, knowing it is way too little too late to make up for the awful things I've done.

Edward pulls my chin up so I am looking into his sparkling green eyes. "Hey, don't disregard it. It shows that even when you were at your worst, your heart was still in there. It was still in the right place. You didn't want your friends to suffer needlessly." He kisses me and I lose my breath. I'm not sure how he keeps doing that to me, but I hope he never stops. When he pulls away and makes to leave, I stand on my toes to kiss him one more time before he takes off running toward his classroom.

The morning is… well it's kind of weird to be honest. Some things are the same. Lauren still acts like a bitch and Bree still follows her around like her faithful lapdog, but they do it from afar shooting me nasty looks and looking at me and laughing, rather than talking to me directly. Others go out of their way to say hi with a smile and a wave. Maggie- OK, I get Maggie- you know, get in good with the best friend of your boyfriend and all that; she is definitely not an idiot; but people I haven't spoken a kind word to in years make a point to be nice to me. When lunch comes, Edward escorts me to his table where we are surrounded by his friends and family- people I hope to call friends of my own someday. While we eat, Angela and Ben include me in their conversation about Christmas plans as if the past four years never happened and Jessica and Mike pull up a couple of extra chairs and join us as well. I try to relax and enjoy it, like Edward keeps telling me to, but I know the other shoe is going to drop, so the butterflies in my stomach continue to flutter. Then it happens.

Halfway through lunch, Lauren looks up from her phone, screeches something at Bree, gets up and moves in the direction of our table with Bree scrambling after her. I brace myself trying to think of what I could have possibly done to offend her now. When she is a few feet away, her eyes flicker away from me then stops dead in her tracks, causing Bree to smash into her from behind. When her eyes return to me, she gives me a death-stare… if looks could kill, I'd be six-feet-under for sure. I square my shoulders and take three calming breaths waiting for Lauren to say whatever-the-hell she has to say, but to my surprise, she turns and yells at Bree: "Don't be so fucking clumsy, asshole!" then stomps out of the cafeteria followed by a haggard looking Bree.

I stare after her in disbelief. I don't understand what happened. I know she was on her way over here to rip me a new one for some unfathomable wrong, but she stopped. I sit in stunned silence as everyone else returns to their lunch conversations and Edward wraps his arm around my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "Bella, I said today was going to be different. Stop worrying, baby, everything is going to be alright."

"I know, but…"

"Stop. It's OK." He says again

"I would rather just get it over with. She has to be planning some big blowout or something- some nasty form of revenge that will make everyone turn away from me. I know it." I say, a little whiney.
"I took care of it." I look up at the sound of the high-pitched voice to my left. "Don't worry, Bella. She will behave from now on."

"But why? How?" I fumble

"Let's just say Alice's obedience school is in session and she will learn to sit, heel, and stay if she knows what's good for her. And we both know that Lauren is all about looking after number one." She says as a little evil smile breaks across her face. I look over to see Edward tying to stifle his laughter. Now I'm really confused.

"Alice, you didn't do anything, did you?" Suddenly needing answers from her. I know how these things backfire. Didn't she learn from this past weekend's whole date debacle?

But it's Edward who answers, "She didn't do anything. She just used the one thing that Lauren values – herself- against her. It's actually, quite funny. I'll tell you about it, but not here." He says placing a kiss on my temple. I relax slightly. If Edward is OK with whatever it is, it couldn't be too bad, right? So I let it drop. I can't totally let it go, because I'm sure Lauren will find a way, but for now, I just want to spend time with the people who I care about. The people, who have chosen to accept and forgive me for the shit that I pulled and welcome me back into their lives.

I can't help but smile as I lean into Edward's warm chest with his arm tightly around me and listen to Emmett tell some football story, for the first time in a very long time, I feel content.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

June: Night of the Annual End of School Year Bash

"Baby, I'm getting another drink. Want one?" Edward asks and I nod, knowing I do not have to drive home tonight. Dad is on a date- yes a DATE! And he is letting me spend the night at Alice's. At this point, I know he is just playing dumb- and I do not want to think about why that may be- eww. Edward and I have been together since December and we spend all our time together, but I'll take it. Edward's parents are at the Seattle Medical Conference, just like every year, so we have the house to ourselves. Jasper drew the short straw and got stuck as DD. He doesn't seem to mind though- actually, nothing seems to get to him- ever, which is why he's so perfect for our little spit-fire. Alice is currently trying to convince Emmett to let her decorate his dorm room at UCLA by telling him Rose already relented. I'm sure it's just a matter of time- no one resists Alice.

Mike and Jess are in that, just-reunited-after-breaking-up stage, so they run off after only one beer to go, um, reunite. They broke up after spring break when Mike admitted to kissing another girl in Panama City. It wasn't pretty. He said that one kiss helped him realize how much he loved her. He spent six weeks groveling at her feet begging for forgiveness and a second chance. She finally gave in mid-may, but not before she dated someone else and realized that she wasn't ready to move on from Mike. Angela and Ben are snuggled together close to the fire, just watching the waves through the flames. I lay back on the beach-blanket and look at the stars, thankful that we decided to skip the big party this year and do something smaller. I can hear the booming base of the music and the occasional yelp or laugh from the other party down the beach aways, which only makes our little celebration more appealing.

"Hey, whatcha thinking so hard about down there?" Edward questions handing me a Mike's Lemonade. I notice, with a smile that he drinking pop. I think he is almost ready to go.

"Just thinking about this year, everything we've been through. You know the usual." I smile and take the drink so he can lie down beside me.

"Hmmm, I thought maybe you'd be thinking about me, or rather what I'm going to do to you when we get home." He rolls over and starts kissing my neck. He just turned 18 and all he wants for his birthday is to act out one of his fantasies. How could I say no to him when he looks so cute begging like a puppy. Finally, I told him I'd let him tie me up and blindfold me tonight, and he's been acting like a kid in a candy store ever since. He kisses his way down my neck to my collarbone, where he stops and moves his fingers lightly over the one scar I have from James. I sigh, knowing he still beats himself up about not being there sooner.

"Bella, are you really OK with how all that turned out?" He asks with concern. James was charged with battery and attempted sexual assault for what he did to me and with sexual assault for what he did to Charlotte. He did get out on bail, but he was ordered to stay away from both of us. With all of the evidence and testimony against him, we were assured he would go to jail for a long time, but Charlotte was hesitant to testify in open court, afraid of what people would say. Then, about six weeks before the trial, he was caught trying to assault another girl behind the bleachers at Port Angeles High. When those charges were added to the others, even his lawyer knew he was screwed, so James opted to take a plea bargain. He is only going away for 3-5 years, but he has to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.

"Yeah, I really am OK with it." I smile and take his hand. "I love you and even though what happened with James was bad, it could have been so much worse" I blanch thinking of Charlotte, "but that night brought us together. So in some weird way…"

He cuts me off with a hard kiss. "Don't finish that statement. It was not "good" or even "OK." We are meant to be together, it would have happened anyway; you didn't need to go through that to have me… you've always had me." He says resting his forehead on mine.

"You've always had me. I've been yours since the first time I laid eyes on you." I tell him, but I decide to let the other conversation drop. I just want him. I really want him. I sigh, knowing we have to wait for everyone else before leaving.

"Hey, why the big sigh?" he asks

"I'm ready to go home. I want to give you're your birthday present." I say trying to make my voice low and sexy.

"Me too." He says crashing his lips against mine and then standing up, pulling me with him. "Let's go" He pulls me toward the parking lot. I can't help but laugh at his enthusiasm.

"Edward, we have to wait for everyone else." He starts trying to nibble on my ear as he walks me backwards still heading for the lot. Oh God! He is so good at that "One car, remember." Damn it! He doesn't stop, he just picks me up and my legs go automatically around his waist. "You've been drinking." I laugh as we reach his car.

"No, I've been drinking regular lemonade and pop tonight and Jasper is going to call his cousin to come pick them up. It's already arranged." He opens the passenger seat and puts me inside, using the excuse of buckling me in to move his hands across my body.

"Were you planning this?" I smile

"Yep." He smiles, slams the door, and is in his seat revving the engine faster than any human should be. I giggle.

"Ok, bring on the shackles, I'm all yours." I smile as he speeds down the dark road at 90mph.

When we pull up outside of his house, he turns and says, "I love you. Every part of you, even Bella the Bitch." He takes my hand and kisses the palm of my hand.

"Even Bella the Bitch, huh?" I return, my left eyebrow arched in question.

"She can be very sexy you know- when she comes out at the right time." He kisses his way up my arm.

"I'll have to remember that, but for now, I think she has been put to rest."

"Mmmm, too bad, I was thinking she may need to be punished." He unbuckles me with a wicked grin.

"Oh, is that so?" I ask. He nods "Well, maybe she can come out to play. She was a bad, bad, girl." I nip at his ear.

"That's what I'm talking about!" He says and is out and around to my door in seconds. He leans in, throws me over his shoulder and runs us through the door and up into his room. He throws me onto his bed and I laugh, but suddenly he turns serious.

"I love you. Forever. You are never getting rid of me. Bella the Bitch or not."

"I love you too and I never want to get rid of you. Ever. Even Bella the Bitch loves you."

He nods and covers my body with his.

E/N: Nothing long, just a huge, sincere THANK YOU to those who read my first story. I know it isn't perfect, but the fact that all of you cared enough to read it through the end makes me so happy!