A/N: Sad things, yay.

Chapter 1 - Kurt

Blaine?

It's Kurt. First of all, I miss you. I miss the hugs and laughter and the way that you would jump on the furniture like it wasn't at all dangerous. I miss your smile and the way that you don't, sorry, wouldn't cry until you were on your own. Heck, I even miss the anger management. But most of all, I just miss you.

I wish you were here, baby. I just wish that you'd told us about the stupid headaches before you'd collapsed because now you're dead. You're fucking dead, Blaine, and it's not okay. I'm not okay. WE'RE not okay. Just stop being dead. Stop it, please. I miss you, Blaine.

Dad and Carole had to clear out your room, you know? Because it's too painful for me, and Cooper's been too stoned or wasted every time we've asked him. Yes, Blaine. Cooper Anderson: model actor, intelligent young man, Dalton graduate, Harvard boy. He's drinking and doing drugs and God knows what other awful stuff. See what it's doing to him?

It's not just him, either. It's everyone. When we got home, Finn just went ape shit. You could hear him screaming and breaking stuff and nobody had the heart to stop him because we know that he wished he'd been nicer in the beginning, that he didn't ever know you. God, Blaine.

Do you remember when you first introduced me to The Lord of the Rings? We watched one a week, and I was pretty bored until Rivendell? Then Frodo said he wished The Ring had never come to him and Gandalf said that it was the same for everyone who lived to see such times?

It's not only a passing thing anymore. Frodo may have been close to dying, but you're actually dead, Blaine. You're gone. You're gone and it's painful. Oh, not to mention the fact that you're not living to see such times. But I am.

It's like a part of me is missing now, Blaine, and it's a part of me that I'll never get back. Again, I'm emphasising the headaches. You shouldn't have waited until you threw up in the middle of class to tell people, sweetheart. You really shouldn't have.

Mike told me that he suspected it, you know. It was upsetting, really; it was especially upsetting to find out that he'd talked to you.

You're stupid. You're stupid, Blaine Anderson, and I love you for it,

Kurt.

A/N: So I lost my ability to write long things.