I decided to write a longer, chapter-formatted story, rather than my usual one-shot! I'll update weekly. There are references to my story, "Like a Boss," in this chapter.

The dining room was silent.

Death sat at one end. Kid sat at the other.

Liz and Patty sat awkwardly in the middle.

"This is fun!" Death said cheerfully. "We should do it more often!"

Liz had never wanted to do anything less in her whole life. In fact, she would rather return to the streets, homeless, than sit through another dinner like this.

Patty was slowly shaping her mashed potatoes into a vaguely human-looking face. She then proceeded to stab her knife into the eye socket, and twist it.

"The weather is getting warm, huh?" Liz tried to keep the conversation flowing.

"The weather is the same. The weather is always the same." Kid stated blandly.

"Well, the sun seemed more cheerful than normal." She was grasping at straws.

"Father, I meant to ask you. Why is our sun creepy, and mutated? I'm pretty sure the sun isn't supposed to be like that. And the moon is homicidal."

Death was humming 'Tiptoe through the Tulips' and looking towards the ceiling. Apparently, he had not heard.

Kid sighed and resumed poking at his chicken.

"Lord Death, aren't you hungry? You're not eating anything!" Liz said desperately.

"Oh, I can't eat food. No siree, no food for me!" Death chuckled.

"Then… why did you ask us to have dinner with you? And why do you have a plate of food?"

Death slowly tilted his head to the right. His eye holes stared at Liz.

Liz gulped and looked down.

Good god, I've never felt more awkward. Please let Black Star swing down from the chandelier. Please let Maka knock me out with a book. Please-

"Here's a good poem Spirit told me the other day!" Death cried jovially. "There once was a man from Nantucket-"

"HEY KID!" Liz yelled, trying anything to divert attention away from lewd the poem. "I THINK-"

"-Whose-"

"-THAT YOUR"

"-Was so long-"

"-BROCOLI-"

"-He could-"

"-IS LOOKING A-"

"-If my ear was a-"

" -BIT ASYMETRICAL!"

"-It! Why, Liz, what's all the commotion about? I don't think anyone could hear my lovely poem!"

"I heard it," Patty said ominously.

Liz blanched.

Meanwhile, a thin trickle of blood had begun to flow from Kid's nostril. He regarded the broccoli lying on his plate. He reached out and grabbed his knife jerkily.

"The left side… is looking a little fuller… than the right side. But I must count each individual sprout to be certain, of course." He muttered.

"Why, Liz, I do believe you've broken my son."

"Believe me, he was broken before Patty and I met him," Liz mumbled under her breath.

Again, Death's head cocked to the right, eyeholes narrowed. "I didn't quite catch that."

"Oh, Liz said that Kid-" Patti began.

Liz clapped a hand over her mouth.

"I said that you're looking much trimmer, Lord Death! Have you been working out lately?"

Death clapped his hands together with glee. "Why yes, I have! So kind of you to notice! I've been working on my leg, recently. The secret is not to try to lose the weight, but to tone the muscles that are already there."

Liz nodded feverently.

"Mmph," Patty said. Liz's hand was still clamped over her mouth.

"You know, a lot of people think that cardio is the key to losing weight. The secret is weightlifting! I read so in a Seventeen magazine. "

Liz nodded harder.

"I'm so ready to hit the beach!" Death bubbled. "Nothing like a good day of sun and sand!"
Kid looked up from his magnifying glass, tweezers poised above his head of broccoli. "Father, Shinigami's of our status do not frolic about the beach. We have much more important duties to attend, and an image to maintain."

Death stared at him.

"But… but I started the South Beach diet! I cut all my carbs! I stopped my midnight milk and cookies!"

Liz could see that he was getting worked up.

"Mmph." Patty said. Her face was gaining a bluish tinge.

Kid had resumed his plucking. "Father, you're being unreasonable."

Death stared.

"But… but!" He whined. "But Kid, I really wanna! I wanna go to the beach!"

"No buts," Kid said firmly. "No means no."

Death started to pound his fists on the table in frustration."

"None of that, thank you!" Kid yelled. "You'll march upstairs and sit in your room, and you'll think about what you've done."

"I haven't done anything, you're just being mean! I bet you'd let Liz and Patty go to the beach! You like them more than you like me!"

Kid rubbed his temples. "I like you all equally. Now can you please give me some peace and quiet? I'm trying to work here."

Death flounced off to his room "I'm going to have a beach party, and none of you can come!"

He doubled back, and stuck his head in the door. "Except you, Patty. You can come 'cause you liked my poem."

Everyone looked at Patty. She was passed out in her chair, Liz's hand still firmly around her mouth.

Death jabbed his thumb in Patty's direction. "What's wrong with her?"

Liz quickly took her hand off Patty's mouth and feigned innocence. "Damned if I know."