REALLY LONG A/N COMING UP. BRACE YOURSELF :)

HEY GUYS I HAVE BIG NEWS :) i'll say it now though: it's not related to this story, but it's still really big news and pretty personal and very exciting so please don't skip this a/n (:

Okay so as you all could probably guess, writing is my life and after literally six months of hard work, i can finally say that i'm a published author! Yes, I self-published my novella entitled Where We Belong, and like i said this is a pretty big deal omg like i can't believe i'm really a published author! So yeah, if you're interested in my novella, you can purchase it on amazon here:

(without spaces btw) www. amazon Where-We-Belong-Courtney-Carola/dp/1484061004/

and i understand if you don't want to buy it or can't, but if you happen to do so then PLEASE TELL ME AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF IT AS IT WOULD MEAN A LOT TO ME :) and yeah, this wouldn't have been possible without the support of those who actually read my writing, whether it be fanfiction or whatever - all of you reading this is in one way responsible for me finally mustering up the courage to put myself out there as an artist. And for that, I thank you :)

That being said: proper Save Me a/n! lol

So this horrendous thing called FINALS coupled with a QUARTER LIFE CRISIS and a visit to this DARK PLACE OF DOOM AND DEPRESSION CREEPING IN ON ME AND PREVENTING ME FROM LEAVING MY BED FOR AN ENTIRE WEEKEND kind of ruined my writing recently... hence the long ass wait for this update. But I'm better now and finals are all done (still having that quarter life crisis, but it's under control! for now) so yeah. Here it is! ~le dramatic music~ Okay guys, this is it... the end. Really bittersweet but after a year of working on this bad boy, it's finally time to call it quits. I'm really glad I could bring you all along on this journey with me, and if this story has taught you anything, it's that just remember:

You are not alone. If you ever feel hopeless or alone like Logan, or if you're in a situation like James with his dad, or you feel helpless like Kendall and Carlos, just remember that there's always going to be someone who loves you and who will listen to you if you need to talk. And trust me, I know what it feels like to be in that dark place where you just think no one cares about you and that you truly are alone, but you really aren't; there's someone out there who really cares about you and loves you and just wants the best for you. And if you still don't believe that, then just remember that I'll always be there for you because I care and I love you. You're worth so much and you were put on this earth for a reason. We've all got one life, and it's up to us to make it a good one. So, thanks again for reading, reviewing, and just being oh-so involved in Save Me; it honestly means the world to me that you guys liked this idea so much for me to develop it into a 29+ chapter story. And for one last time: I don't own anything.

Epilogue
I believe the world can take and shatter the strongest souls. It's enough for one man to take from knowing his right from wrong. There's no room in the darkness, so bring down these walls. There's no one to believe in, there's no chance at all. Will you save me? I will believe in you. I'll give love, I'll give love - Tyler Blackburn, "Save Me"

In the beginning of senior year, every senior thought this was going to be "their year" - the year where they ruled the school, the year where they called the shots. After all they earned this; from small, insignificant freshman, becoming seniors was probably the biggest thing to happen to most of them. Among them were James Diamond, Kendall Knight, and Carlos Garcia. The three of them had their own agendas, their own plans. James vowed to get the lead in the school's play - again - and ultimately take over the drama department, his area of expertise. Kendall was determined to nail a full ride for his nothing short of superb hockey skills, as this year he was team captain. And Carlos, well Carlos just wanted to get by; he didn't necessarily know where he fit in regarding high school but as long as he survived it, he was happy.

The three ex-friends had gone their separate ways months ago and wanted nothing to do with each other, but if they had one thing in common, it was that they knew this year would be big. After all it was senior year - prom, senior trip, graduation - they were literally going out with a bang. They knew it would be the end of an era; they didn't know it would be the end of a life.

In the beginning of senior year, Logan Mitchell killed himself.

Logan Mitchell was the all around golden boy. He wasn't popular, never had been and he probably never would've been. But he was smart - so smart; he was the kind of smart that obviously knew everything and anything, but didn't make you feel dumb if you didn't know something. And he was so nice to everyone. The two of those qualities kind of made him a target for bullying though, that on top of the fact that he wasn't really aggressive or a fighter. He rarely lost his temper with anyone, and he pretty much took whatever came his way - good and bad. That's what made him Logan.

But like most golden boys, he wasn't what he appeared to be. And in the beginning of senior year when Logan took his life, no one saw it coming.

It was a shock, but if you really knew Logan then it wasn't much of a shock. That was the thing though - no one really knew Logan; not even his best friends.

His best friends... they were the people who should've been able to save him, who should've been able to stop him, who should've been able to help him. But they didn't... they couldn't... because they weren't friends.

It was really stupid, but that didn't matter; what matters is that it happened. The four people that everyone was so sure would be friends forever had a falling out that changed everything. Because when it comes down to it, everything affects everything...

"This doesn't feel right," James mumbled, his face pressed down into Kendall's couch cushions.

"Wearing a tie?" Carlos asked, still struggling to adjust his. "Yeah, I agree. It's more than annoying, and-"

"No, not the tie, Carlos," James interrupted, rolling over onto his back.

"What are you talking about, James?" Kendall asked him. "And why aren't you ready? We have to leave for graduation soon."

"That's what I'm talking about!" the brunette blurted out. "How can you both get ready for graduation like it's no big deal that Logan won't be there?" The other two boys stilled in their actions. "He would've been the valedictorian," James added in a small voice. "He was looking forward to this day since, like, the fourth grade and... now he's going to miss it."

Kendall sighed, glancing over at Carlos who gave him a look that said, "Fix this. Please," and the blonde walked over to James, sitting next to him. "Jay, it's not that it's not a big deal to us; it is. And it sucks that Logan can't be here but... But we can't stop our lives because of this. Logan wouldn't want us to."

"Besides, wherever he's at, he's watching down on us." Carlos added, leaning over the back of the couch. "He's probably placing bets on which one of us is gonna trip," he joked trying to get James to at least crack a weak smile. He succeeded in that, and the Latino added, "He's still with us, James. And I bet he's really happy that we made it this far."

James, in turn, sighed, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Yeah... yeah, you're right. I guess I just really miss him today." he managed a weak smile. "When is it supposed to easier again?"

"It's barely been a year," Kendall reminded him. "But I get what you mean. It's still..."

"Rough," James supplied. "Waking up everyday without him here, going on without him here, just... living without him. It's rough as hell."

"You're doing good though," The blonde boy told him. "We all are. This hasn't been the ideal senior year for us, but we survived." he let his lips curl into a smile. "Logan would be proud." A comfortable silence fell upon the three boys after that, only to be interrupted moments later by all three of their phones going off, the alarms they had set reminding them that they needed to leg it to school if they didn't want to be late to graduation. Kendall sighed, breaking the silence. "Well." he said, capturing James and Carlos' attention. "It's time to pop and circumstance."

To say that the school was a little bit crazed this morning was a bit of an understatement. Before the ceremony started, everyone was just waiting around in different classrooms; some people were crying, almost everyone was taking pictures, so many hugs were given. It was a little bit of insanity, but the best kind of insanity.

Finally the time came where everyone was to line up, and everyone ran around, trying to get into their proper place in line. "You know," James murmured to Kendall as they went to line up with their class. "It's funny."

"What's funny?" Kendall asked, confused.

"A couple months ago, I never would've thought you and I would be standing together and not trying to kill each other," James explained, a small smile on his face. "This... this is a change I'm okay with."

And Kendall smiled at him; no words needed to be said because James knew he was thinking the same thing.

The graduation ceremony went well. Their principal made a speech that brought almost everyone to tears; especially when he mentioned how they lost Logan, and asked for a moment of silence in his honor. Logan would've been number one in their class, but the three after him all made speeches as well, all of them mentioning him and how they wished he was the one up here making a speech for everyone to hear. After what felt like an eternity and a day, it was finally time for them all to get their diplomas (which was actually just a piece of paper; their real diplomas got mailed to them a few days later).

Kendall, James, and Carlos all prided themselves in the fact that they didn't trip while walking up to get their diplomas, and they smiled widely when they heard their families cheering for them. After everyone in the class was called, their principal said those fateful words: "I now pronounce to you the graduating class of 2012," and everyone threw their caps up into the air. It was a beautiful moment, one that they would never forget. At this moment right here, it was truly the end of an era, just as they suspected it would've been in the beginning of senior year.

This wasn't just an ending for them; it was a whole new beginning.

"I don't remember this walk being so long," James grumbled as he, Carlos, and Kendall trudged down the street towards the cemetery.

"That's because we usually drive here." Kendall pointed out. "Plus we just spent a couple hours just walking around the track field, and walking to get our diplomas."

"I need a nap," Carlos huffed.

Kendall rolled his eyes. "You're such an old man," he said, pushing open the iron gate to the cemetery.

"I am not!" Carlos insisted. "I just have low blood sugar."

"You ate like three chocolate chip cookies for breakfast," James said, eyebrow raised.

"That was nervous-eating!" Carlos exclaimed. "Graduating is nerve wracking!"

"Tell me about it," Kendall agreed. "I thought I was going to throw up when I was getting my diploma."

"At least you didn't trip," James said.

"True," Kendall shrugged, and he finally came to a stop, Carlos and James halting behind him. "We're here." a shadow of a smile graced his lips. "Hey Logie." The three of them looked down at Logan's headstone. Even after all this time it was hard to believe that it was so... real. That it actually happened.

"Today was graduation," James said to Logan, the three of them kneeling down in front of his plot. "And it was really hard without you, but..." he looked at Kendall and Carlos, smiling a little. "We did it. We made it, and even though we wished you could've been there, we know you'd be proud of us."

"And we brought you something," Kendall added, going inside of his bag to pull out what would've been Logan's graduation cap. "We figured you would still want this," he said, placing it on his plot, moving the tassel off to the side as was done when one graduated.

"We really wish you would've been there today, but we wanted it to feel like you were here as much as possible," Carlos said. "And we all talked about it, and we decided that we were going to open our letters from college here because we all figured that besides graduation, that would be the one thing you would be looking forward to the most."

"We all knew that you would get accepted somewhere amazing, like John Hopkins or Yale," James added. "But if there was one thing you would've been more excited about than getting your acceptance letter, is seeing us get ours."

"And here we are," Kendall sighed.

"Here we are." James echoed. He looked over at Carlos and Kendall. "Who wants to go first?" he asked.

"I will, since mine isn't that big of a deal," Carlos offered, a faint blush creeping on his cheeks. "I, uh, after everything that's happened this year, I've kind of had a change of heart and I kind of don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. So I decided to just apply to a community college and see if I can figure it out," he explained, his fingers twiddling with the envelope a little bit before he started to tear it open.

"Don't be so down on yourself, Los." Kendall told him. "Community college is still college, and it's still a big deal if you get accepted or not."

Carlos smiled a little at that and pulled the letter out of the envelope. James and Kendall watched as his eyes scanned the page and his smile widened significantly. "I got in," he whispered. "I - I'm going to college."

James and Kendall immediately engulfed him in a hug group hug, telling him how happy and proud they were of him. For a long time, Carlos was talking about just not going to college at all. He didn't know what his passion was, he didn't know who he wanted to be or what he wanted to be, but in the long run, he had decided to go. And his friends couldn't have been more proud of him.
Carlos turned the letter to face Logan's headstone and he exclaimed, "I got in Logie!" His smile couldn't have been bigger and even though he didn't get a verbal response, he knew Logan was proud.

"Um, I'll got next." James offered, rubbing the back of his neck. "After I realized that NYDA was just something made up by Glee, I decided to apply to Juilliard."

Carlos' eyes widened. "Juilliard?" he repeated.

"That's insane, Jay, why didn't you tell us?" Kendall asked.

James shrugged. "I don't know... my audition was months ago but what if I don't get in?" worry crossed his features as he asked that.

"How could you not?" Carlos asked in reply. "You're one of the most talented people ever!"

"There's only one way to find out, dude," Kendall added.

James took a deep breath and nodded, going to open the envelope. His hands shook a little as he read the letter, and after a few seconds, he just froze, his entire body going rigid, and his eyes widening.

"James...?" Kendall asked, a little afraid of what could be the answer.

James swallowed thickly, and pressed the letter to his chest. "I got in," he said, his voice cracking a little.

Carlos let out a loud, "Oh my gosh!" and tackled James to the ground hugging him, Kendall joining in only moments later. James had resumed shaking again, and kept whispering to himself, "I got in," like he couldn't believe it.

"James, this is incredible!" Kendall said, removing himself from the dogpile so James and Carlos could sit up again.

"We're so proud of you, dude!" Carlos gave him a clap on the shoulder. "Logan would've been proud too," he added.

James couldn't stop smiling, the letter still pressed up to his chest, and nodded in agreement because in his heart, he knew Carlos was right.

"Alright, I guess that means it's my turn," Kendall said, reaching in his bag for his letter. "I applied to the University of Minnesota, because I did some research and apparently 159 players got drafted into the NHL from there. And I applied for a scholarship so..." he took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing I guess." he didn't hesitate to tear the envelope and pull his letter out, running his fingers through his hair as he started to read it. "Oh my God," he breathed, his voice sounding tight as if he was having trouble breathing. "Oh my God."

"What?" James and Carlos both asked together.

"I, I," Kendall tried to speak, but his words just came out like mixed up gibberish, and Carlos had to lean over his shoulder to read the letter.

With a wide smile on his face, Carlos exclaimed, "He got a full ride!" pulling Kendall into a tight hug.

James let out a cheer, pulling a very stiff and shocked Kendall into a hug. "We should've brought party poppers!" he said.

"I don't think party poppers are acceptable in cemeteries." Carlos pointed out.

"True, we'll party pop later then!" James declared. "Kendall this is fantastic!"

Kendall turned to Logan's headstone. "I did it, Logie." he whispered. "I did it." he ran his fingers through his hair again. "You know even though you aren't with us Loges, I - we wouldn't have been able to make it through the past eighteen years without you."

"The next eighteen are gonna suck without you," Carlos continued. "And it's going to be hard, but we know that you wouldn't want us to put our lives on hold because of what happened. We know that you would want nothing but the best for us in our futures. But it's going to be really, really hard. And there's some things that none of us are ready to let go of; you were one of them, Loges. But we talked and we decided for us really let go and move on, we were going to leave a piece of us with you. So we each got something of ours that means a lot to us, and we're going to leave them with you; we're going to leave behind something from the past so we can focus on the future."

"And if you hadn't guessed it, we've all been going to therapy; hence Carlos' new vocab," James teased, playfully nudging his shoulder and Carlos rolled his eyes.

"So I'll go first," the Latino said, reaching into his backpack. "And I chose my helmet." he looked at the hunk of black plastic in his hands fondly, and smiled. "I figured I'd look pretty stupid wearing this in college." he chuckled lightly. "This... this helmet has really been something; it's protected me from having severe brain damage, but it's also made me brave. I know that sounds stupid, but whenever I wore this helmet, I felt brave." he looked up at Logan's headstone. "I don't... I don't need to depend on it anymore. If this year has taught me anything, it's that I'm definitely braver than I thought." he gently placed his helmet on the patch of dirt in front of Logan's headstone, next to the bouquet of roses and said, "Take care of it for me."

"I'll go," James offered, and reached into his pocket. "I chose my lucky comb."

Kendall's and Carlos' jaws both dropped in shock. "I'm pretty sure this is the sign of the apocalypse." Kendall said.

James cracked a small smile. "Shut up," he said. "I'm sure you all know how much my lucky comb means to me, but recently it hasn't been working as well as it used to," he joked. "I guess because I sort of grew up and realized that luck was what you make of it. And I plan on making my own luck from here on out." he placed his lucky comb next to Carlos' helmet. "But maybe it'll be lucky for you, Logie." he said softly. He paused for a moment. "But when I die and my hair looks like hell, I want it back." he said.

Carlos and Kendall both laughed, shaking their heads. They honestly hadn't expected anything less.

Kendall sighed, reaching inside of his bag, knowing he was next. "I chose this," he said and produced a hockey puck from his bag. "This was the hockey puck from our first game we ever played."

"You kept that?" Carlos asked.

"I kind of stole it when the ref wasn't looking," the blonde admitted. "But yeah, I mean, it's sentimental and crap. And it was the first game winning goal I've ever shot."

"The first of many," James said.

Kendall sighed, looking down at it. "Logan, you were always my biggest fan." he said. "And I never really got to thank you for that. And I know it's probably a little too late for that now but... thank you so much. I didn't always tell you, but you meant so much more to me than you ever could've imagined."It was silent between the three of them for a moment and Kendall looked at his friends, a sudden admiration in his eyes. "You guys too. I never got the chance to actually thank you both either," he said softly. "Because you guys... you saved me from myself. And I just... thank you. I really needed you guys and I'm glad you were there."

Carlos gave him a sort of lopsided smile and threw his arm around his shoulder. "You were there for us too, bro. Don't forget to give yourself credit for that."

"And at the risk of sounding cliched," James added. "We've always been there for each other, and we always will. I think we all kind of learned that nothing can change that."

Blinking back tears, Kendall smiled and nodded, then gave one last look to Logan's headstone. Heaving a heavy sigh, he placed the hockey puck on the small patch of dirt, and whispered, "Thank you," because if it hadn't been for Logan, the three of them wouldn't have known just how much they needed to be saved.

a/n2: FIN :') I may have been in tears by the end lol. But thank you for being with me on the journey that was this story, and I hope you enjoyed it. xoxo.