Why some Khajiits just should not drink. Ever.

Lydia was looking all over Whiterun for her friend/thane Merkova. Merkova was a Khajiit woman hailing from Elyswhere a dry deserty place with some jungle here and there. She searched at the Khajiit's favorite venues which sold sweet rolls and bitter mead but found nothing. Lydia growing ever impatient stopped a Whiterun guard and asked him where her friend had gone to if he had seen her.

"Have you seen a Khajiit female about so tall, covered in dark fur, pretty golden eyes she was wearing light armor? She likes to talk a lot?" The Housecarl had asked. The Whiterun guard stopped. "Female Khajiit?" Last time I saw her she was headed to the Bee and Bard Tavern." the guard stated before returning to his duties. Lydia thanked the man and went of in search of her friend at the tavern. When she got there she expected to see the Khajiit woman sitting down to a drink. She was not there.

Irritated and worried now Lydia asked the barmaid if she had seen a female Khajiit. She had. The Khajiit woman had downed 3 powerful drinks given to her by a mysterious man named Sam and then the two ran out the door. The Khajiit woman, as the barmaid had said was 'drunk out of her mind and in a somewhat amourus/ agitated mood.' Lydia thanked the woman and continued her search before Merkova had done something foolish to get her ass kicked, put in jail, or worse.

Merkova did not remember how she had gotten into the temple and at this moment didn't really care. Only two things mattered right now. One: her head hurt as if she had gotten kicked by a giant and trampled by one of its mammoths. Two: she was clad only in her underware. (thankfully she was in a temple run by women) Merkova groaned and sat up slowly briefly wondering if her stomach would hold whatever contents she had consumed the night before.

"My head." The Khajiit groaned. "Wh-wha-what happened?" she asked no one in particular. "Good your awake." a priestess of the temple had stated clearly irritated. Even though she was bothered she was glad the Khajiit was ok and not injured save for her pride. Merkova turned a bit to quickly towards the voice and regretted it instantly as her head swam and stomach did flip flops. Thankfully the contents In her stomach stayed where they were.

"You drunken cat! Serves you right!" the priestess chastised. Merkova looked at the priestess confused. "I don't understand…" she started to say. The priestess sighed. "Let me put it this way. You came to the doors of our temple clad only in your underware and stared to fondle one of our statues out front saying you know of this nice little place where the two of you can take a break. Then you proceed to kiss the statue.

"When it didn't respond to you, you came in agitated and started ranting about marriage and a goat. Something about your friend Lydia riding a broomstick wearing a a witches hat with someone named Camilla on her shoulders." Merkova groaned inwardly. 'I made an ass of myself.' she thought bitterly. "That's not all. You then lost your temper and threw trash all over the place slurring something before bursting into tears and passing out." Merkova groaned. She remembered drinking with a strange human and having a great time doing so.

She also remembered not feeling to well after the second drink but felt better by the third. After that everything was fuzzy. Merkova sat down the feeling of nausea gone, replaced by humilation. She was glad Lydia was not hear this one time. The last thing she needed was Lydia chastising her on her behaviour. Not that she didn't deserve it. She needed it. Her behaviour was inexcusable for a dragon born.

Merkova had planned to leave quietly and went to do so. She apologized to the priestess and paid for any damages. She opened the door to leave and nearly ran into Lydia who was standing there looking at her. "Oh" Lydia exclaimed. "Uhhhh….sorry Lyds. I…uhhh…." Merkova stammered. "I was told by the priestess. I guess you really are crazy when you drink." Lydia replied trying not to grin. She imagined a Khajiit running around away from guards trying to apprehend her in her underware acting a fool. She imagined her kissing and trying to seduce a stone statue. 'I wonder what she said about me. The priestess said she mentioned me somewhere.' 'Nevermind. I don't know…I don't wanna know.' Lydia dismissed that thought. She walked with her friend home. "My head hurts, as does my jaw." Merkova complained. Lydia shook her head. "Apparently you challenged a female ogre to a fight. I'm surprised she didn't break you in half." Lydia replied already knowing the details of her friend/thane's "adventure."

"I just hope you didn't do anything else. But we might want to get you checked just in case." Lydia suggested. Merkova agreed. Vowing never to drink with a strange human ever again. At this point she was beginning to think all humans were strange.

At the healing clinic of Kyne Merkova was checked out. After determining no internal injuries were sustained and not major outward injuries save for a sore jaw and wounded pride she was asked to stay put for a while. The priest went to talk to Lydia by herself.

"Your cat friend is ok. No major harm done and no diseases. Are you too well…." he asked unsure of how to continue. Lydia's eyes widened. "Wh-What? Ewww! No! She's Khajit! Were just friends!" Lydia stammered. The priest muttered a quick apology. "Then you might still want to sit down. Your Khajiit friend is fine and free of disease but there is something I have discovered. Your Khajiit friend is well….what I mean to say is I have done some basic examination magics and she's pregnant. 9 months from now there's going to be a kitten running around."

Lydia's eyes widened. "Does she know?" she asked. "No, I think it best that she does not know…for now at least. The priest replied calmly.

A/N: I do not own the awesome game Skyrim or its characters. I do own Merkova though. Merkova is my level 14 Khajiit on Skyrim.