The Immoral Memory, The Lost Memory

By: Ashurato

- First Life : Setsugetsuka (Part One) -

Kaito knew that Kabukicho was the last place a person like him should be sneaking off to. As the only son of the Shion daimyo of Yonezawa, it was expected that his year at court was to be spent bringing honor to his clan, learning how to rule his estate, and finding a future bride. But reality was a far cry from the ideal. It was already expected that his time would actually be spent with his empty head in the clouds, avoiding his duties, and running away from every available woman he was introduced to.

His title stifled him, but Kaito knew that it was both a privilege and a curse that he was born into. It took all of his power to keep himself up to date with his responsibilities and yet retain what meager amount of freedom he had left. Sometimes, it was too much for even his gentle nature to stand.

It was then that Kaito decided that if he was to spend the next year of his life deeply entrenched in the power struggle within the castle, he would take this time to preserve what little sanity remained with him.

"Just one night," Kaito whispered as he crept slowly in the shadows next to a large inn. It was only by chance that he and his attendants were passing through Kabukicho, but Kaito knew that it was an opportunity that he could not ignore. Even more pressing was the looming figure of the shogun's palace that would soon be within view. He did not have much time left.

With this knowledge, Kaito abandoned his formal clothes for flashier attire better suited for the red-light district. It was not that he wanted to be noticed, but he knew that it would allow him to better fit in among the butterflies of the night.

The dark sky was devoid of the moon, covered by clouds with the promise of rain, but the many glowing red lanterns that were the district's namesake more than made up for the lack of natural light. Both residents and visitors milled about, resplendent in their best finery to either attract a customer or display their own wealth. In this sense, Kaito thought that it was not much different from the crowd of nobles in the palace with their rich clothes, golden trinkets, and mile-long entourages. And like the palace, the wrong word to the wrong person could result in a sword buried deep in the offender's gut.

But unlike nobility, people here could at least look each other in the eyes.

Kaito turned his face towards the wall when he saw two of his retainers pass by. They were sent out earlier to track him down, but Kaito saw that their faces were flushed more from alcohol than exertion. When they entered one of the many brothels in the area and did not come out for several minutes, Kaito breathed a sigh of relief and finally stepped out from the shadows.

"Now where shall I go?"

Tonight was just like any other night at Murasaki, Gakupo's establishment. The rooms were bright, rowdy, and filled with people who were looking to have a good time. But unlike any other night, the master of the most well known brothel in the Kabukicho district was not present. In fact, he was in a larger but less prestigious inn down another street. But obscure as it was, he had heard rumors that it was growing rapidly enough to threaten his prominence.

He reclined languidly and lifted a kiseru to his lips, drawing smoke into his lungs lazily, but his eyes were sharp on the alert. The girls who served the other high-paying customers around him were even more beautiful and poised than he expected, but that alone should not have enough of an effect on his patrons. He was here to find a secret and he was not going to leave until he found the answer he was seeking.

A shadow passed in front of him, blocking his view of a curtained stage and he raised his gaze to meet inquiring but guarded blue-green eyes. Long hair the color of new spring cherry blossoms and arranged with gold and red colored kanzashi crowned the woman who stood before him. Her colorful layered kimono, which would normally be elevated due to the added height her koma-geta provided, flowed artfully to the tatami covered floor. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but perfection was marred by the displeased frown that graced her perfectly painted lips. "Good evening, Luka-dono."

Luka and Gakupo were childhood acquaintances but never quite friends. Their personalities and beliefs conflicted too highly too allow for such amicable relations. It had been years since the last time they had directly spoken, but their names were all-too familiar in Kabukicho: Gakupo was the young and charming owner of Murasaki, and Luka was the most sought-after and highly-priced tayuu in all of Edo. But despite their less than cordial relationship, they respected each other enough not to step on each other's toes-that is, until the talk turned to business.

"May I ask about your unexpected patronage here, Gakupo-dono? I hope you are not here to treat my workers in the same fashion you have imposed on your own property. This is not a brothel and I will not tolerate any such conduct here," said Luka as she snapped the fan she was holding closed and coldly looked down at him. It was not wise to antagonize one of the most powerful men of Kabukicho, but this was her castle, her workers, and her rules. She would defy the shogun himself if he should dare belittle her authority within her property.

At Luka's words, Gakupo's eyebrows shot up nearly to his hairline in surprise.

"Your property?" he asked with a hint of disbelief. It was not impossible for a woman to run a business in Kabukicho, but it was exceedingly rare. Even less common was a mistress of Luka's young age and stunning beauty. But perhaps not so rare as he happened to recall the scandalous news of a tayuu who was left with a deluge of money from a venerable older customer who had since passed away. Having paid her debt, it was rumored that the tayuu was allowed to retire early two years ago. "Ah, so that explains why the flowers in your garden remain unplucked and fresh from the morning dew. Your frigid charm and popularity is known throughout all of Edo, my lady. Tell me then, is your esteemed company the reason why customers these days prefer the cold breath of winter to the warm touch of a lover?"

Luka avoided the barbs and raised the crimson fan to her lips to hide her smile; however, her tone remained poisonous. "Innocence turns better profits and deeper addiction than the wanton lust and drugged fantasies that your shop offers."

Gakupo laughed. "Please excuse me if I find that impossible. There is nothing innocent in this town any longer."

"Think as you like," replied Luka as she turned her heel and walked away from him. "But you might find yourself retracting your words very shortly."

Kaito tentatively peered out from the other side of the shoji screen to watch his frantic servants as they ran up and down the street in search of him. He was able to freely wander about for several hours, but the unique color of his hair and the uncommonly fine quality of his clothes served as ample identification. His features were distinct enough to be easily identified even while bathed in crimson light.

And thus, he found himself running along alleyways, darkened streets and finally was forced to take refuge in the back of a nondescript inn. All he had to do was wait for his attendants to move to another street and he would then be able to leave without anyone the wiser of his shameless trespassing. Unfortunately, his attendants were proving to be more indefatigable than he previously assumed. It was no wonder that they were the ones his father had chosen to accompany him on the journey. At this rate, he may have to stay where he was for the remainder of the night.

"Customers are forbidden from entering from the back, sir," said a soft but clipped voice. "Please enter through the front door like everyone else."

Kaito spun around in fright before he slid to the floor and pressed a hand over his wildly beating heart. He thought that he had been found, but with a second glance, the person before him looked nothing like his pursuers. The young girl behind the wooden screen in front of him was dressed as a perfomer-most likely owned rather than employed by the inn he had stepped into. She wore a white kimono under a vermilion hakama. A black obi trimmed with gold encircled her tiny waist and fell to the floor along with the white and lavender furisode sleeves that covered her arms. A wooden flute peeked out from her right sleeve. Her astonishing golden hair was cut unusually short and her skin was very pale, but despite her unconventional visage, all Kaito could see was the black cloth that covered her eyes from the world. "I-I'm sorry for trespassing, but I mean no harm. I was being chased by someone and had to hide until they passed. Oh, but I'm not a criminal or anything like that—"

The young girl's lips turned up in the slightest of smiles. "I did not accuse you of anything, sir. I was only requesting that you enter through the front door." Kaito opened his mouth to apologize once again, but the girl lifted up a hand that held a closed golden fan. "I will keep this a secret this one time as I do not feel that you are lying and appear genuinely distressed. Please follow me."

"I appreciate your help, but how can I...?" Kaito pointed to the wooden screen that separated them before dropping his hand when he realized the futility of his gesture. His savior did not appear to be capable of sight. She was like a lark, kept in a covered golden cage away from the prying eyes of the rabble. Too trusting and inexperienced with humanity's vices to suspect the worst in people.

It made Kaito's chest throb painfully.

"That corridor is normally used as a secret escape passage for nobles who come here without the permission of their wives. Your path lies parallel with my own. Just walk next to me as if there was no barrier separating us, but please be quick as I have matters to attend to." The golden-haired girl child pointed to the shadowed path to Kaito's left and took a step forward. Kaito quickly followed.

They walked in silence, immersed in their own thoughts as they traversed the empty halls. Unlike garish crimson veil outside, only the soft, dusky glow of candlelight brightened their path. The girl's attention was focused on the path ahead, but Kaito only had eyes for her. Soon, his damned curiosity voiced itself into words.

"Please pardon me if I may seem rude, but it astonishes me that you are able to navigate through these halls without being able to see," said Kaito in a demure voice that his father would have reprimanded him for using.

"It is not that I am unable to see," the girl replied. It is that I choose not to. "People rely too much on sight that they fail to distinguish the difference between what is real and what is expected."

"I—"

The girl stopped just before a leaf-colored silk curtain that led to the front of the inn and turned towards Kaito. "A strip of cloth over my eyes is enough for people assume that I am blind. However, they do not realize that they would be able to see the world much more vividly if they discard that which betrays them in the first place."

Kaito's breath caught at his throat, but he forced the words out. "But why do you need to do such a thing?"

Silence fell between them again, but this time, it was the girl who spoke first. "It is not to deceive anyone. I do it for myself. When a gilded cage is all you know, the closest thing you have to freedom is to not see the bars that trap you.

"This is as far as I can take you."

Kaito bit his lip as what almost felt like shame colored his face. Although a small part of him did feel slightly misled, it was due to his own assumptions. He had no right to blame her over something that was born from his own misconceptions. And yet despite his discomfort, he found himself riveted to every word that fell from his companion's lips. "M-may I please have your name?"

It was the girl's turn to hesitate as she turned her covered eyes toward him and pushed the curtain aside. "... It would not be wise for me to give it."

"Please..." Kaito's voice was so quiet that if not for the total silence, it would not have been audible.

The child paused for a moment as if locked in an internal struggle between obedience and her own misgivings. "... Len."

"Len-dono..." Kaito breathed the name as if it was an exotic perfume. It was like a drug, both intoxicating and infinitely dangerous. "My name is Kaito and... may I see you again?"

"You would not want to," said Len as she stepped through the door on her side. "It is best if you forget this meeting."

"I would never—"

"I am not a woman, Kaito-dono. Have a good night," said Len with a chiding voice as he quietly allowed the cloth to fall back into place and made his way to the stage.

Kaito froze where he stood, but his thoughts churned violently. Although he had been just been lectured regarding appearances and thought that he was prepared for anything, he found his learning still deficient mere seconds later. It took longer for him to regroup his thoughts, but when he managed to push the screen that blocked his path aside, Kaito's blue eyes were resolute and his mind was clearer than he could ever remember. He knew that any decision he would make would be the incorrect one, but as he turned his attention to the stage, the only thing that filled his senses was the color of gold.

"Len-dono, I would sooner see flowers bloom on the moon than forget you."

Two hours had passed since Gakupo had arrived at Luka's inn, but he found no girls of extraordinary worth aside from the mistress herself. During this time, more patrons had arrived to fill the room. Some of his former regular customers who recognized him for who he was guiltily glanced at his direction with great trepidation. Gakupo would normally have confronted them as to what in his shop was so lacking that it would drive them to seek other means of entertainment, but he practiced restraint. More than anything, he was baffled as to why the tension in the room was so high when his discerning eyes failed to see anything that could possibly evoke such great interest. The women were beautiful, the food was delicious, and the sake was refreshing, but these were qualities that his own establishment was rife with.

He only spared a glance toward the stage before he stood up, leaving more than enough gold coins to cover his expenses and made to leave. But as he made to exit, a slight movement to his right caught his attention. A tall young man appeared from behind a shoji screen, but he did not appear to be employed by the establishment. He had hair the color of the ocean and his posture did not radiate the tired, resigned nature of those who worked in the red light district. Then, familiarity dawned in Gakupo's mind.

There is only only clan who bears that shade of blue... Gakupo's eyes widened slightly in surprise when he recognized the man to be the only son of daimyo Shion.

The daimyo's son did not appear to be concerned by where he was or what type of scandal could strike by his mere presence in Kabukicho should he be recognized. Instead, his full attention was riveted toward the stage as if the answer to the meaning of life hid behind the curtains.

What is someone like him doing here? Gakupo's eyebrow rose questioningly. This is very unusual.

His interest piqued once again, Gakupo settled himself down, refilled and lit his kiseru. He made to raise the pipe to his lips, but the smug look that he saw on Luka's face from across the room stopped the motion. Then, all thought was wiped from his mind when he saw the curtains part to make way for a slender figure who held a fan in one hand.

This must be... Gakupo's moment of reflection was shattered as the figure gracefully drew the hand holding the golden fan away from their face to reveal a child with doll-like features and wheat-yellow hair. A black sash hid the color of their eyes from the audience.

It was beautiful... and wrong!

Gakupo's kiseru dropped to the ground, spilling tobacco ashes across the clean tatami mat that he laid upon. And for once in the violet-haired man's life, he could not have cared less about his image. If anyone was an expert on sensuality of the human flesh, it was Gakupo. And at that moment, despite the bright silks, graceful movement, and young complexion of the being that stood before him, his mind only screamed one thing.

That child is a boy!

And yet knowing that fact, he could only watch, bewitched as the dancer glided across the stage, at one moment as calm as a stream and the next as animated as a caged bird that has been freed. The audience held their breaths in quiet anticipation as if a single movement would shatter the illusion and reveal that the dancer was nothing more than colored smoke.

The boy-child was almost otherworldly. He did not perform for his audience-the covering of his eyes told that clearly. It did not matter if he danced for the poorest man in Edo or the shogun himself. He danced in a world that was only colored in black. His performance was not perfect, but each step of his foot and every wave of his fan expressed his emotions as evidently as if he shouted them at the top of his lungs.

"Although caged, I have not been broken."

"I will forever be beyond your touch."

"No physical thing in this world would make me cower in fear."

"I am not as I appear to be."

Although he could not see, the boy was truly, clearly alive. More alive and passionate than anyone Gakupo could remember ever seeing.

Gakupo knew that he was affected despite knowing that the child before him was male. But before he could lose even more of his heart, he remembered the detail that held his interest mere minutes before. He mustered every bit of resistance left in his mind and glanced at the blue-haired heir of Shion.

What he saw almost caused him to growl viciously.

Fate was once again making a plaything out of him. Kaito knew that he should have left the inn as soon as he parted ways with Len, forgotten what had happened as the boy suggested, and continued on with his life without looking back. However, Kaito knew that doing such a thing would be like forcing a fish to breathe on land. It was no longer possible. And as he stood in the shadows and watched Len on the stage, his hands clenched to his sides.

So this was how it was like to fall into madness.

He watched the last wave of Len's fan. He watched Len step back after the performance was completed. He watched the curtains fall until he could not longer see his small guide. He watched long after people had left.

What he did not notice was that he was not the only one.

"Yonezawa no bocchan, I hope that you had enjoyed the performance. However, I must ask for you to return back to the inn."

Kaito's trance was shattered when he came face-to-face with four of his most vigilant guards. He stiffened and cursed himself for losing track of both the time and his surroundings. He thought to escape, but both the situation and the simple fact that he was sorely outnumbered quickly negated the thought from his mind. "I—"

"May I ask what is going on here? I do not take kindly to trouble-makers." Luka's brows knit together in annoyance as two of her sentinel-like guards stood behind her, their hands lightly upon the sheathed kodachi at their waists. She pointed her fan at each of the four Shion attendants. "I would appreciate it if you would unhand my customer."

"Mistress, we are simply here to fetch our lord. We will leave shortly," said the leader of the guards as he and the other three surrounded Kaito whose misery increased by the second. He bowed his apologies to Luka, but his eyes warily watched the two guards at her side. "You will not see us again. Kaito-sama, we must leave."

Luka opened her mouth to protest, but Gakupo's voice chimed in for her. "It does not bode well for people like him to wander around in such a dangerous area. Who knows what kind of temptations could lead such a noble man astray? It is best if you make your way to your destination soon as I heard that a storm is brewing on the horizon."

"We will take your advice," replied another of the guards with a nod. He then turned towards Kaito with a strict expression on his face and began to usher the young lord out. "This is not a place for you, Kaito-sama."

"No-!" Kaito made to protest as he turned a pleading look towards the stage, hoping to catch one last glimpse of Len. However, his guards were unyielding and he found himself almost forcibly dragged outside.

The glare that Luka shot in Gakupo's direction could have melted steel, but it was quickly tempered with confusion. The long-haired man was well-known in Kabukicho to be affable and unbiased (if a little self-centered), so to see him act in such a closed manner was disconcerting. "Why were you so harsh on that young man, Gakupo-dono? What could he have possibly done to earn your scorn?"

"That man is Shion Kaito, the future daimyo of Yonezawa." Gakupo crossed his arms over his chest and smiled the thinnest of smiles. "A noble."

The confused look on Luka's face instantaneously froze up into something akin to hatred. The only thing more famous in Edo than Luka's beauty was her distaste for the ruling class. After all, she was the child of a noble who had fallen from grace—a daughter sold so that the father could survive. But her expression cooled just as quickly and she raised her fan to cover the momentary slip of her mask.

She had made peace with her demons long ago. If becoming a tayuu in Kabukicho taught her anything, it was that not all people are equal. That applied to both those of the ruling class and those who scavenged for scraps on the streets. "He watched my Len like a thirsty man sees an oasis."

"Len?" asked Gakupo mildly, but it took all of his willpower not to breathe the name like a man possessed.

All of the pessimism seemed to melt from Luka's countenance and her guards removed their hands from their weapons as they sensed their mistress relax. "My little golden bird."

Gakupo's eyes narrowed with growing anger. "He is a boy, Luka-dono. Why is he dressed in such a fashion? There are regulations to follow when it comes to employing kagema, mistress. He does not belong in this type of establishment."

"Len is nothing of the sort! Do not dare even associate his name with those of kagema in the same sentence!" snapped Luka vehemently, barely suppressing the desire to strike Gakupo's mouth with the heavy fan in her hands. "And I know better than anyone that such a child does not belong here!"

"Then why—?"

Silence stretched between the two of them and Gakupo's unfinished question lingered in the air. Although he tried to control his face, Luka could read the same attraction that was more clearly evident in the young lord's face from earlier. She could not see the future, but she knew that someone was going to be hurt in the end.

Luka sighed before she waved her guards away and gestured for Gakupo to follow her down the same dim corridor that the blue-haired young lord had appeared from. From beyond the separation of the screen, Gakupo saw Len as he stood in front of a barred window at the other side of the room. The boy did not move or speak and looked akin to a doll if not for the memory of the vivid motions of his dance earlier.

When Luka spoke again, her voice was soft and for violet-haired man's ears alone. "Len and his sister were orphans whose parents were killed by bandits as they were returning from a pilgrimage to Ise. I found the two siblings alone in the back of this inn only a few days before we first opened. They were tired, wounded, hungry, and half frozen to death. I took pity on them and brought them in."

"A sister?"

"Yes, a older twin," said Luka with a sorrowful smile. "She opened her eyes only once, laughed, and told me that as thanks for saving them, she will stay here and dance for me and my guests. Then she closed her eyes and never opened them again. We sent off her spirit with the funeral rites as best we could, but Len would still not wake.

"When Len finally woke up a full week later, he was understandably distraught. He stayed in this room for a full month without a word, barely eating and sleeping. When he could not cry anymore, he came out wearing his sister's clothes and promising to fulfill her wishes."

Gakupo approached the ornate screen, his eyes fever-bright as he watched Len—broken yet undeterred—through the separation. "He is staying here of his own volition?"

"He is here to earn his keep and to pay for the funeral rites that was arranged for his twin. He has more than repaid the debt, but he continues to remain for his sister's pledge." Luka's gaze was tender, but turned calculating as the rival owner continued to watch her charge with fascination. "And I do not have the heart to turn him away. But I still hope that one day, he will free himself from this self-imposed cage and allow someone to help him see the light again.

"And young lord Shion is showing signs of being that person."

The ferocity with which Gakupo whirled to face her was astounding and unexpected. Luka was perturbed by the intensity of the jealousy that radiated from the handsome man's figure—all over a young boy he has never even spoken to.

"Who is to say that person cannot be me, Luka-dono?" asked Gakupo with as much composure has he could muster between grit teeth. His hands were clenched into fists at his side, but despite the fanatic air that tinged his tone, the eyes that met Luka's were sincere and full of resolve.

"I will not allow it."

"May I ask why?"

"That should be my question, Gakupo-dono." Luka was amazed by the sheer nerve of the man to so bluntly proclaim his desires, but she then remembered to whom she was speaking to. "Your reputation is quite well known-as is what 'services' are offered at your establishment. I will not have an innocent boy thrown among wolves and whores to simply satisfy your curiosities. I care about Len as if he was my own child and I will not have him tainted by the stigma that being attached to your affairs ultimately brings."

For the first time, Gakupo felt shame from another's words. But he would not be deterred. "I understand. But would you at least allow me to speak with Len?"

"And I ask again, why should I allow it?"

"I've fallen in love with him."

"You've known of his existence for but an hour!" Luka hissed at the audacity of the statement. "You cannot expect me to believe you."

Gakupo smiled. "I don't expect you to."

Luka paused for a moment as she analyzed him with doubtful eyes. She did not trust Gakupo, but even stronger than her cautious nature was her longing to see Len remove his blindfold and truly smile for the first time. If it meant allowing this libertine associate with him, then so be it. "I will allow it so long as Len himself has no qualms. You will keep your hands to yourself and someone else will be in the room at all times. If you should attempt even the most miniscule form of force on him, I will run you through."

"It is more than I anticipated for you to allow."

It was days before Kaito was able to escape from his retainers who learned from his last disappearance and were more attentive than before. But watching the young lord soon became routine once again and his lack of disobedience made them careless. When Kaito saw an opportunity to flee under the cover of night, he did not hesitate and crept past his guards.

Unfortunately for him, the dreary weather from his first escape had only worsened and light, needle-like rain covered the area. Undeterred, Kaito pressed on until he reached the back of the same inn he took shelter in before. Len's inn. He breathed a sigh of relief as he wiped the water from his face and eyes with his sleeves, uncaring of his treatment of the expensive fabric. "With weather like this, I do not know if I should feel lucky or cursed. I must be mad to attempt something like this when I've already been warned."

"Do you regularly exhibit such irresponsible behavior or is today a special day, sir?"

Kaito whipped around while pressing a hand over his wildly beating heart at the suddenness of the voice. In his rush, he slipped and fell on his posterior, further caking mud on his clothing. But at that moment, the current state of his looks was the last thing on his mind as he gazed up at the blindfolded face that looked down at him from the barred window. He gave a light laugh, blushing at being caught unawares by the very person he came to see. "I like to think that I'm adventurous."

The tiniest hint of an amused smile escaped from the perpetually straight line of Len's mouth. He then extended white hands towards the taller man from the other side of the bars. "Good evening, Kaito-dono."

"Good evening, Len-dono. And please, I do not want to dirty your hand as I am currently covered with the entire countryside," said Kaito ruefully as he shook mud from his blue hair.

"It is only right to help someone up who has fallen down," replied Len matter-of-factly.

Kaito stared at the unblemished hands and fought against the further reddening of his face. There was another reason he did not want to reach out for them, but to spare Len's disappointment, he gingerly took the proffered hands and quickly got back on his feet. But as he fearfully anticipated, he felt no desire to let them go once he had regained his balance. "T-thank you."

Len made to pull his hands back, but the other man's trembling grip stopped his motion. It was a cold night, but Kaito's quivering did not seem to have anything to do with the temperature. As Kaito did not appear to want to break the silence, Len spoke first. "May I ask your reason for being here, sir?"

"I—" Kaito bit his lip as the words threatened to rush out. "I wanted to see you."

Len's brows furrowed together in confusion. "Kaito-dono, I mentioned the last time we met that I am not a woman."

"Yes, I—I am aware of that fact," said Kaito haltingly, but his hold on Len's hands was no longer trembling. The younger man's touch was enough to warm his whole being. "And knowing that fact, I still cannot help but come and see you."

"Sir, as I said before, customers should—"

"Len, I do not want you to think of me as a customer," said Kaito, purposefully dropping the honorific. He was delighted to see the younger man's face tint a lovely pink at the unexpected turn of events.

Len did not expect to be flustered by the suddenly audacious man. "Kaito-dono, this is not possible. I have my responsibilities as I assume you have your own. My standing in this world prevents such associations."

With those words, Kaito felt the sharp prickling of guilt in the area where his heart should be. He knew that it was foolish of him to do this and to even be where he currently was. But the irony was that Len, with his eyes covered from the world, was the only one who could see him behind the screen of nobility. "I believe my irresponsible behavior—as you yourself mentioned—excuses me from such strict distinctions."

The shadow of mirth that hovered over Len's countenance manifested itself into soft laughter. Len was inwardly stunned by how foreign the sound that poured from his lips resonated, but there was little he could do to stop when it came involuntarily. It seemed so long that he had laughed after depriving himself of any such pleasurable diversions that he had grown to believe himself incapable of the action.

Kaito's attention was fixed upon the pink lips from which the unexpected laughter emanated from. It was all he could do to reign in his longing and dissolve what affection he shared with the younger boy. When Len composed himself once again, he smiled sadly as the hands he was holding gently slipped out of his hold. He knew that he could not keep holding them forever, but he could not help but dream. He could not stay for much longer.

"I have not laughed in so long that I have forgotten that I am capable of it. Thank you, Kaito-dono."

It was Kaito's turn to laugh quietly. "That is not something to thank me for, Len. But perhaps before I go…"

"Yes?"

"Can you please play your flute for me?" said Kaito, referring to the instrument that he had seen when they first me. He then bowed his head, expecting to be rejected immediately. After his voiced request, Len stood so still that Kaito feared that he had unknowingly offended him.

The smile that appeared on Len's face was still guarded, but warmer than before as he retrieved the instrument from his sleeve. "As you wish."

"Rin…"

That night, Len found that laughter was not the only capability that has returned to him.

Tears he had long refused to shed soaked his sleeves as if assaulted by the falling rain.

Author's Notes/Disclaimer:

- I hold no rights to Vocaloid or the songs therein.

- This story has been simmering in my mind since last year. I know I still have a ton of fics to finish up, but I have to get this down or it will just rot in the back of my mind and drive me crazy. We're going to travel through a sort-of timeline VanaN'Ice's songs [Setsugetsuka, LOVELESSxxx, Imitation Black, Fate:Rebirth, Arrest Rose, and now tentatively culminating with Sakura Maichirinu -Rei- (natsup, you break my heart)]. Each song will act as a lifetime and I tried to put them in some type of historical order that made sense to me (aside for Imitation and Fate, but I have reasons for that particular succession).