Finding the Way Back – Chapter 45

BPOV

The morning after I was released from the hospital, Esme and Sue accompanied me to various stores so that I could re-decorate the living room. I needed every reminder of that night to be removed from my house as fast as possible. By the end of the week I would have a new dining room set and living room set delivered, and Esme would find someone to change the hardwood floors. The only other thing I needed to do was find new paint for the walls, but I wasn't overly concerned about that just yet. It was just paint.

After we had been home for a bit, I realized we were spending more time in the kitchen and up in our rooms, rather than in the living room, with Edward avoiding it all together. I knew he was still hurting and mourning the loss of his sister, so I didn't push it too much. He has, however, gone to a therapy session with Dr. Hartford. He wasn't very forthcoming about what he discussed with her, but said it felt good to talk to her, and has set up a follow up appointment.

A few days later, Edward was back at work, and I took McKenna to get her wounds looked at and to have some of her stitches removed. She handled it well, and her doctor said everything looked good and that the remaining wounds would heal on their own with minimal scarring. After we were done, the two of us went for a girls' day, getting our hair cut and nails done. As I sat there watching her interact with the nail artist, I realized how much she'd grown. She definitely looked like Keith more than me, but at least her personality was more like mine. This little girl could never hurt a fly, let alone another human being. She was a fantastic little creature and I couldn't wait to see what she would become later in life.

Carlisle and Esme decided to do a small, private burial for Alice. She was buried under a large tree, close to a pond. Everyone agreed it was the perfect place for her. A few days after her death, we found out that her marriage to Gabriel was not legal. It was a difficult thing to get through, but out of all of us, it seemed that Jasper had the hardest time. It wasn't until after Edward spoke to him that Jasper was able to get out of the car and stand with the family. He was crying, shaking, and suffering so bad that I thought Carlisle would have to give him something to calm him down. For a short time after Alice's burial, he had secluded himself from the family, even breaking up with his girlfriend. But after a short time, he returned to us, saying he used the time for meditation and remembering the good times he shared with Alice. He then showed us a beautiful angel tattoo he had done on his shoulder, with her name engraved into it. It was lovely, and very fitting for him.

A few weeks later, Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Dad, Sue and I were all sitting in a court room. Sticky Pete and Fat Joe both plead guilty and were awaiting sentencing. The third one, Ben, was found hanging from the ceiling in his girlfriend's apartment. Bastard. We sat and listened to the attorneys plead with the judge, one for the maximum amount possible, and one for mercy. I was torn as to what I wanted. Part of me wanted them to be locked away for good. The other part of me wanted some sort of good to come out of this – whatever that may be. Edward, on the other hand, wanted the judge to make an exception and sentence both of them to death by hanging. We both knew this was not possible, as they never killed anyone, so we knew the most they'd get was a life sentence. The state prosecutor asked if any of us wanted to say anything. Out of all of us, Dad was the only one who said he did. None of us, including Sue, knew what he had planned on saying.

"I understand that Mr. Charles Swan would like to address the court?" the judge asked.

Dad stood and walked to the podium, pulling a piece of paper out of his jacket pocket.

"My name is Charles Swan. My daughter is Isabella Swan-Cullen. My son was Ian Charles Swan. While I know the Defendant's may not have played a large part in all of this, the part they did play is just as bad. The two of you defiled and abused a teenage girl. I remember when she returned home to me and how scared she was of everything. Sometimes it took me a good hour just to be in the same room with her, she was that afraid of men. At one time in her life, she was carefree. She enjoyed going out with friends to parties and looked forward to going away to college. She laughed and smiled and was happy. She played basketball with her brother, went shopping with her mother, and had me wrapped around every finger since the day she was born.

"One of the worst times came after she was taken again. We had just found out she had a daughter and were celebrating her birthday when Bella suffered a miscarriage. The doctors told us that due to all of the trauma her body had undergone and a botched abortion she was given, she would probably be unable to have future children.

"When my granddaughter called me that fateful night to say there were 'bad men' in her house, I immediately knew it was the past coming back for her yet again. The years of training and working as the Chief of Police couldn't prepare me for what I saw when I peeked through a window of her home. I saw my son-in-law, Edward, tied to a chair and unconscious, and my daughter... on the floor while the two of you had your way with her. The screams coming from her still haunt me to this day." His voice was cracking. and his shoulders were shaking. I watched as Sue stood and walked up next to him. She placed one arm around his shoulders and one hand on his left arm.

"My only hope out of all of this is that she is able to move on, knowing all of this is over, and that she doesn't return to the scared girl she once was, because she's come so far to lose it all now. She has a loving husband who has been there from the beginning and would send her flowers each week just so she would smile. She also has three beautiful little girls that make her eyes sparkle, the exact same way her mother's did. For her to lose that now would break her and this family. So I humbly implore the Court to impose the maximum penalty so no one else has to go through what she did."

I watched with teary eyes as Sue and Charlie returned to their seats. I wanted to hug him and tell him I loved him but would wait until all of this was over. I knew he needed Sue's comfort more right now.

We all sat and listened as the judge spoke, saying how he was a father and a grandfather and how he couldn't image his family going through what ours did. He then asked the Defendants if they wanted to say anything. Thankfully they both declined. The judge then sentenced them each to twenty five years in a maximum security prison. I heard a cry from the other side of the room. I looked over and saw a gray-haired woman sitting behind Sticky Pete. My guess is that she was his mother. I wondered if she was crying tears of joy or tears of pain.

Two months after sentencing, Charlie and Sue were married on the cliffs overlooking First Beach. Charlie couldn't decide on his best man, so he had both Carlisle and Billy, who was actually feeling good enough not to need his wheelchair until after the ceremony. Sue had asked both Leah and me to be her maid and matron of honor. Esme, Rose, and I had gone to the cliffs early that day to get everything ready. We created a small aisle using rose petals and candles. We also hung tea candles from the branches of the trees to give the small space a warm feeling. Sue had decided on a simple ivory dress with a small amount of lace. Leah and I chose a deep green tea length dress, while the guys went with black dress pants and white button down shirts.

I'll never forget the look in Charlie's eyes as Sue walked down the small aisle towards him. He looked like he was finally at peace with everything, and I couldn't have been happier for him.

The two of them were going to a small bed and breakfast for a few days before returning to Forks. Neither of them wanted anything big, so this was perfect for them.

"Where are we going?" McKenna asked one day as I turned onto an unfamiliar road.

"It's a surprise."

"Oh." It didn't take her long before she realized where I was headed. "Are we going to walk dogs again at the shelter?"

"Possibly," I replied.

"I wonder if they have any new dogs."

"You'll just have to wait and see."

I pulled up to the animal shelter and parked. McKenna and I walked in, and she did her usual walk/half run to the dogs. She looked at the puppies first before declaring they were cute, but she wanted to look at the bigger dogs. I watched as she walked up and down the rows, totally unfazed at the loud barking. She kept coming back to one particular dog, a German Shepard named Master.

"Would you like to walk this one?" I asked.

"Can we?"

"Of course you can, McKenna," Carrie, an employee we were on a first-name basis with, said.

Master was a very well-tempered dog. His old family lost their house and was moving into an apartment that didn't allow animals. He was used to kids and infants and was obviously house broken. McKenna was already growing quite attached to him, and by the time we made our way back to the shelter, she was practically in tears.

"What's the matter?" Carrie asked.

"I don't want to leave him. He's a great dog. Daddy would love him. He could take him on his runs and I could make a bed for him, and feed him, and play with him."

"Well, what if we did take him home?" I asked.

"What?" she asked with teary eyes.

"Remember how you asked Daddy for a dog when all the bad stuff was over?"

"Yeah."

"Well, now that it is, Daddy said if you found a dog today, we could bring one home."

"Really?!" she squealed.

"Yeah."

She flung her arms around Master, who started licking her face like he knew what was going on. We walked out into the main area and filled out the adoption paperwork, purchased a bed, a new collar and leash, and food for Master. McKenna had a permanent smile on her face the entire time. Once we were home, we showed him where he would sleep, where he would eat, and introduced him to the twins. He sniffed both of them, and licked them, which made McKayla cry. Master went over to her right away to make sure she was okay before returning to McKenna. The only time we heard him bark was when Edward came home.

"Daddy! Daddy! Look! We have a dog!" McKenna squealed.

"You found one already?" he asked.

"Of course she found one," I said. "He's a good dog, too."

That night, Edward went for a run around the neighborhood, something he started doing a few weeks ago. It helped him when he was stressed out from studying or calmed him down when he got upset or anxious over something. Once the girls were asleep, I let Master out one last time before leaving him in his - purchased bed. The next morning we found McKenna curled up next to him with her pink blanket and pillow.

Carlisle and Esme decided to do a small, private burial for Alice. She was buried under a large tree, close to a pond. Everyone agreed it was the perfect place for her. A few days after her death, we found out that her marriage to Gabriel was not legal, so her headstone only read Mary Alice Cullen. It was a difficult thing to get through, but out of all of us, it seemed that Jasper had the hardest time. It wasn't until after Edward spoke to him that Jasper was able to get out of the car and stand with the family. He was crying, shaking, and suffering so bad that I thought Carlisle would have to give him something to calm him down. For a short time after Alice's burial, he had secluded himself from the family, even breaking up with his girlfriend. But after a short time, he returned to us, saying he used the time for meditation and remembering the good times he shared with Alice. He then showed us a beautiful angel tattoo he had done on his shoulder, with Alice's name engraved into it. It was lovely, and very fitting for him.

Three months after sentencing, Charlie and Sue were married on the cliffs overlooking First Beach. Charlie couldn't decide on his best man, so he had both Carlisle and Billy, who was actually feeling good enough not to need his wheelchair until after the ceremony. Sue had asked both Leah and me to be her maid and matron of honor. Esme, Rose, and I had gone to the cliffs early that day to get everything ready. We created a small aisle using rose petals and candles. We also hung tea candles from the branches of the trees to give the small space a warm feeling. Sue had decided on a simple ivory dress with a small amount of lace. Leah and I chose a deep green tea length dress, while the guys went with black dress pants and white button down shirts.

I'll never forget the look in Charlie's eyes as Sue walked down the small aisle towards him. He looked like he was finally at peace with everything, and I couldn't have been happier for him.

The two of them were going to a small bed and breakfast for a few days before returning to Forks. Neither of them wanted anything big, so this was perfect for them.

Rosalie and Emmett were pretty happy these days, too. Emmett got a job working at a Fortune 500 company, while Rosalie was working as a CPA. They've also added a new family member to their house – another chocolate lab named June that keeps their other lab, Cash, company. They have no plans on having children, since they're busy spoiling ours. Jasper was doing better as well and was looking forward to starting at Harvard in the fall, where he plans to major in law.

Edward graduated college in the spring and was offered a position at Forks Memorial Hospital, which he took. His position was in Pre-Op, which Edward loved. Carlisle was so proud. It was a great way for the two of them to see each other every day. He loved spending time with his patients and calming their fears before surgery, especially when they were children. Carlisle said he had a way of finding the one thing they needed to hear so they wouldn't be scared. Edward often talked about going back to med school, but has said he's pretty happy where he's at now and would think about it again when the girls were older.

Carlisle and Esme had just returned from a trip to Italy. It was a complete surprise to Esme, as she had been rather depressed lately. Carlisle said it was nothing more than a "second honeymoon," but we all knew better. They both needed time away to grieve in their own way, and when they returned, they were in much better spirits. They also brought back a suitcase full of goodies for the girls. McKayla was more interested in the boxes than what was inside them, while McKenna kept trying on dress after dress that Esme had purchased for her.

A few months had passed, and I found myself sitting in the living room of Dad's home, which was now on the Reservation. Upstairs, Sue was preparing to deliver the newest member of our family. Sue's midwife arrived a few hours ago, and every now and then I could hear a whimper float down from their room. She had been up walking about the house a few times, but had made her way back to the bedroom, where I figured she'd stay until the baby came, which wouldn't be long, I was sure.

There was a running bet as what the sex would be, along with the weight, length and date he or she would be born. Everyone was in on it, and in the dining room were two large poster boards to keep track of everyone's prediction. The pot was up to $500 dollars. So far, Sam Uley, Jacob, and Billy were out, based on date of birth.

Another hour passed and everyone had gathered at the house. Leah and I were perched on the bottom stair, listening for any signs that the baby was finally here. McKenna was playing waitress and bringing everybody food and drinks, while the twins were being spoiled by Billy, Jake, Anna and Emmett. Actually with Emmett, it was more like overprotective.

I had noticed that Jake and Anna were practically inseparable. According to Billy, the two of them were already talking about building a house on the Reservation. I think Billy was a little sad, because he always pictured Jake staying with him until he passed. Thankfully the plot of land the two of them were looking at was only a few hundred yards away, which made Billy more comfortable. Apparently he hadn't been alone in that house since before his wife passed. I think part of him was happy that Jake found someone and was looking forward to grandchildren of his own someday since the two of them were still young.

Finally, we heard the door open upstairs and everyone seemed to grow quiet, with the exception of the twins.

"Push, Sue, push!" Dad said.

"I am pushing, you ass!" Sue replied.

"Sorry, sorry." I loved how Sue could put Dad in his place with just a few words. Usually she could do it with just a look, but when she was really irritated she did both. I seriously loved that about her.

A few short, yet long minutes passed before we heard a cry, which started small, but eventually filled the house. I didn't even realize I had tears on my cheeks until I felt Edward wipe them away. He pulled me to my feet and wrapped his arms around me.

"Are those happy tears?" Edward asked quietly.

"Yeah."

Honestly, I was happy for Dad. I knew that with the new addition to our family, whoever he or she may be, was the beginning of Dad's happily ever after. He found his way back to a happy life with a woman who loved him, something I knew he never thought he'd have again.

Edward placed a finger under my chin and raised my head so I was looking into his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Mom, can we come up already?" Leah called up the stairs.

"Give them a few minutes," I replied.

A few minutes later, Dad appeared at the foot of the stairs with a little bundle in his arms.

"Well?" Leah and I both asked.

"It's a boy! Ethan Daniel. Nine pounds ten ounces," Charlie replied with a big smile.

"Holy crap!" Emmett replied.

Leah and I both made a bee line for him. Little Ethan was perfect. Immediately I could see he had the same nose and dad and me, but the rest was all Sue. I wrapped my arms around Dad's neck and kissed him on the cheek.

"How's Sue?" Esme asked.

"She's good. Tired, but good."

"Well I guess that takes me out of the running," Carlisle replied from the kitchen. He was standing in front of the poster boards trying to figure out who owned the pot. Both Jake and Anna joined him and after a few minutes, a winner was decided.

"Looks like the winner is Emmett," Jake said.

"Emmett? How the heck did you manage that?" Rose asked.

"Beats me," he said with a laugh.

As I sat back and watched my family, I realized that even though we'd experienced a world of hurt, pain and tragedy, it made us all closer. Not a day went by that we weren't all speaking to each other in some way.

I'd learned a few things along the way as well. I learned that being a good mother didn't mean you had to be perfect at everything. Parents made mistakes all the time and learned from them. And while I knew I'd never get advice from my mother, I knew she was looking down upon all of us. I also knew that I'd never have more children, and I was okay with that because the three beautiful girls I did have were miracles and I treasured each of them so. I still missed my mother and Ian everyday. I said a prayer each night thanking them for watching over us and visited their graves each month.

I'd also learned that my marriage to Edward isn't conventional, but it worked for us. Sometimes I thought Edward was missing out on something, but he assured me he wants no one but me. He still came home with flowers, but not as often as he used to. Truthfully I didn't need them as reminders to smile, since it was usually one of the girls or Edward who made me laugh on a daily basis, but when he did bring them home, they always made me feel special.

I think the biggest realization I'd had is that sometimes you have to take the long way back to happiness. Sure, you can take the shortcut, but you'll miss out on the important things. Even though the path was long and filled with road blocks, pitfalls, twists and turns, I can say the journey I took was worth it. Had I taken a short cut, I couldn't tell you where any of us would be.

I had truly found my way back.