Title: Culpability
Chapter 1 – Fault Lines

Summary: AU rewrite of 3.13 Fault Lines. It really didn't matter who was to blame, when the call came in that Ed had been shot nothing else mattered except believing that he was going to be okay, the days events amended and their future together still secure.

Disclaimer: Ah you know write? Ed's with me and well yeah that's about it…lol

A/N: Okay so I had thought about just taking Clark out and inserting Donna into Sophie's role but that didn't challenge me enough so….Sophie doesn't exist and have taken the whole pregnancy thing out so came up with an idea that could be just as angsty to Ed but we'll see – I'll let you all be the judge of that. Again please don't flame and say Ed's cheating – he's not! :) (my muse doesn't work that way – ever) and hope you all like this little out of the box attempt once again and thanks!

"Words in italics and double quotes – directly from the eppy." Other words in single quote and italics are flashbacks.

Requalification…Roy's hearing…team psyche eval…Roy's possible dismissal…family ties forever severed…my fault!

So many things weighed upon his mind as Ed pulls into the SRU parking lot that morning. Two nights ago, on his second date with Donna he had confessed that he was more than a little stressed about the simmering tension between him and Roy but didn't elaborate and certainly didn't want to bring up the familial ultimatum he had been given, in the end brushing it off when she asked as nothing really.

'You know Ed you were the one that went to my superior and…'

'And what Roy? Told him the truth? Something you should have done on your own?'

'You never gave me a chance to do that!'

'Would you have?'

'Guess we'll never know.'

'Ah damn it Roy, stop with the stupid head games.'

'No Ed…this time it's your turn. I don't care about your requalification! You better be at that hearing. I got one shot and…'

'I don't re-qualify and I don't have a job. Do you understand that?'

'Yeah I understand, it's always about you. That night in the shipyard you told me you were proud of me. Was that all just a lie huh? You said you'd help me get my job back. Was that a lie also?'

'Roy…'

'Forget it Ed. You be at the hearing or that's it.'

'What's it?'

'Us. Consider yourself an only child.'

It was a petty threat spoken rashly in the heat of the moment, but there were times when Roy had made rash statements in the past and actually meant them; this was one of those times when Ed fears that if he doesn't show up, the growing rift with his brother could widen.

He looks at the entrance to the SRU and sighs, his mind wondering what repercussions his having gone to work today instead of being at Roy's side would mean.

This shouldn't take too long, I'll easily pass requalification and then head right over to Roy's hearing, Ed's mind tries to reason.

For a few seconds his stomach tightens as he ponders missing Roy's hearing, his brother then telling everyone how his only brother who had the chance to help restore his honour and get his job back; turned his back on him, let him down. 'Yeah Ed's first priority is always to the team…family's second…if at all,' Ed's mind winces as he continues on into the building.

He hears his best friend Wordy call out to him "Eddie" and Spike's carefree banter about the day ahead and his mood slightly lifts. The teasing about the requalification makes his agitation slowly ease as he engages in the discussion, desperately wanting a mental distraction.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ed spies Donna heading their way and cuts short his discussion, eager to squeeze in a good morning to his, so far secretive girlfriend. Despite the fact that they were on different teams, they were both still SRU and in situations where they'd have to work closely together. So if there was a possibility of getting involved and then parting on bad terms, it would strain their professional relationship and that was something he wasn't in favor of. However, as she nears he can't help but smile as well, she just has that effect on him. The spring in her step, the way the uniform hugged her body, the playful daring in her eyes – all of it teased him in a good way, instantly elevating his mood.

"Hey hey," she greets him with an automatic grin. It was hard to fight the chemical pull he has on her, even her telling herself when she heard his warm voice moments earlier to be calm and just downplay the enthusiasm at seeing him, especially since they were still on the 'lets keep this quiet until we know we are sure' part of their budding relationship. But today was going to be difficult; it would test both of them in ways they never would have expected or planned and force them to realize that in the blink of an eye everything they were working toward could be taken away.

"Donna," he greets her with a flirty spring in his tone.

"Edward," she lowers her voice and flirts back in kind. "Your team ready to get their butts kicked?" She can't help but playfully tease.

"Your team's playing the bad guy? Lemme get this right? Team Three against Team One?" He smiles playfully in return, loving the daring challenge.

"Yeah go suit up…and uh…"

To anyone else they might have just brushed it off, but he could tell by the instant change in the tone of her voice and facial expression that something was brewing beneath her chipper exterior, something she had held back until after the friendly teasing was out of the way.

"What's goin' on?" Ed asks in haste, his mind now wondering if maybe she was having second thoughts about them? Never guessing what emotional danger was lurking in the shadows.

"Commander Holleran wants to see you in the briefing room," she answers with a serious tone.

"Okay," Ed replies, his mind not anticipating the professional ambush he was about to walk into.

"I'll see you out there," she tries to rebound to flirty status, their eyes locking for a few fleeting seconds before they break apart and she remains fixed in place and he heads toward fate; playtime officially over.

However, as she watches Ed near the briefing room her mind now races with another tense dilemma, spawning from a discussion she had with Commander Holleran about half hour earlier and was told that she wasn't allowed to tell him. The same words that Holleran was probably telling Ed right about now.

"Donna Sabine is gonna run your team through tactical requalification."

"I drill my own team," Ed answers without missing a beat, his mind now racing with all these professional missiles he was being bombarded with. Someone else brought in to do the team's psychological evaluation…Donna testing his team. What the hell? Ed's mind races with frustration. Why didn't she tell me this a few minutes ago? How could she let me be blindsided like this?

"She's gonna run you through the shoot house, test your teams skills and then break you down individually," Holleran's voice resounds with authority.

"Okay…what the hell's goin' on?" Ed counters in agitation; his mind silently yelling NO WAY IN HELL.

"Eddie...take it easy," Greg takes him out of the room to explain. "Everything's gonna be okay."

Donna hears the sharp anger in Ed's tone as she hovers near the entrance to the briefing room, thankful the rest of the team had dispersed and there was no one to catch her eavesdropping. Eddie I'm sorry, her mind laments in silent misery as she finally pulls away goes to get ready for the day. Would he be mad? Would he just put on a smile and pretend that everything was okay when it was a heartbeat away from disaster? Would he tell her one thing and feel another? Betrayal? Anger?

Donna watches Team One emerge and already Ed has his game face on, the tension starting to simmer. He makes a comment about "any more surprises" and she replies with a flippant comeback, her heart racing at their banter before it was time to get down to business thanks to Greg's verbal interjection. She turns and heads for the shoot house, hearing Ed's voice already talking to the team, getting them ready. Of course his team was expected to pass within the allotted ninety second timeframe, they were called the best for a very good reason.

"Donna you sure you want to be here?"

"This is where Ed is gonna come in," she slightly smirks to her own team three team leader. "He's mine."

"Nice," Tom grins as he pulls his paint bullets. "I'll bet you're gonna enjoy this. But you know he's gonna win right?"

"I'd be disappointed if he didn't," Donna replies in truth. "Ready team three?"

"READY!"

XXXXXXXX

"Boss you just spring this on me now? Today of all days?" Ed asks in frustration as they get ready in the locker room moments earlier.

"Eddie…"

"Don't tell me not to worry about it," Ed interjects sharply. "You know I have Roy's hearing today and now you tell me I hafta first let go of a duty I normally do and hand it over to Donna and secondly contend with someone other than you picking our brains?"

"You need to focus."

"Well I'm glad you're acting like this is no big deal," Ed groans as he grabs his sunglasses and slams his locker door shut.

"You'll be finished in time for your part of the hearing, I give you my word."

"That's one deal I'm gonna hold you to," Ed warns before he turns and heads for the rest of Team One waiting outside.

"You okay?" Wordy asks in a low tone.

"No," Ed replies simply as he heads past and then pushes through the doors outside and sees Donna waiting. For a few milliseconds, his brain contemplates rushing over to her and demanding why she didn't give him the heads up to what Holleran wanted him for; not letting him simply walk into a heated ambush and be left standing there while she has the last laugh. But it was time to put on his game face and get the job done; get through this ordeal, get to Roy's and go home – alone. To stew about your girlfriend not telling you and letting you find out on your own? Yes!

"Slow is smooth…smooth is fast…fast is lethal…let's show them how it's done."

Ed's heart rate instantly surges as the team disperses, following his orders as they had been trained and him and Greg entering through the front door. As soon as he enters the building with Greg to his right, the job pushes aside everything else, the need to win now coursing through his veins. He takes out his first man but is stopped just as he reaches the bottom of the stairs, hearing the silent snicker from Donna in the darkness. She would choose to cover my path, Ed inwardly groans as he calls out to his team.

But it was over before he knew it and soon Donna was walking toward him with a satisfied smile before a small bout of flirty banter was about to ensue once more.

"I had you pinned," she just can't help but toss at him; wanting to break some of the tension she knows she was responsible for between them earlier.

"For about two seconds," he retorts with a small chuckle, not wanting to give in but not able to resist replying. His eyes and smile remain exclusively hers during their friendly banter and even when the phone rings, she's the only one in focus, that is until the news is dropped who will be conducting Wordy's psyche evaluation.

"Larry Toth…you know him?"

"Boss you know who it was gonna be?" Ed sidesteps Donna's question and looks directly at Greg.

"Holleran told me when you walked in Eddie," Greg answers, his voice thick with tension.

"This was supposed to be a routine re-qualify…he breaks up teams."

"He does not break up teams. I'm gonna be right there with you Eddie, you have nothing to worry about," Greg tries to assure his now agitated team lead.

Donna watches Ed's jaw tighten and feels her own stomach mirroring his actions. He breaks up teams? What? He can't break up Team One, her mind ponders for a few seconds. Near the end of their second date, Ed had told her just how much the team means to him and how it was the only place he could see himself working with until he hangs up his gun – for good. And now this…this was like someone put on a two tonne cement punching glove and hit him square in the gut – without giving him warning. The best way now to ensure Ed stays focused is to keep the team going, keep the drills and the re-qualifying going; it was what she could do for him.

But as she sees a momentary flash of fear dart across his sapphire orbs she wonders what he'll face? How will he be evaluated? What did he have to fear? Nothing…Ed's gonna be fine, her mind assures her as she tells Team One it was time to continue.

Ed watches Wordy go and then looks at Donna, his mind once again wanting to yell at her for not giving him prior warning or asking the tough questions and giving them all a heads up before they were slammed with the news like a shipping container of bricks falling ten stories to the ground. Wordy's gonna be just fine…he'll be just fine, Ed's mind repeats as he finishes the relay and then looks over at Donna talking to Commander Holleran, wondering if her sideways glance to him meant she was referring to him or just his team in general.

I hate this! Ed's mind growls as he bites his tongue and carries on, his mind also very aware of the time and the fact that Roy's hearing and his part in it were coming down to the wire. You don't show up Ed and I'll take it like you don't even know you have a brother.

Just before the personal skills part, he finally gets a chance to break away, telling the remaining members of the team he needed to talk to her, team lead to team supervisor. Donna looks at his expression and wants more than anything to just give him a reassuring hug, telling him that everything was going to be okay and Team One would be the same in a few hours as they were this morning. But she couldn't and can only stand meekly before his demanding presence, praying for some kind of mental reprieve. It wasn't forthcoming.

"So what did Holleran tell you?" Ed asks, his curiosity egging him on.

"Nothin'…just talkin' results and the CQB," she answers they are once again interrupted by her phone ringing, her mind thankful this time for the disturbance and hoping he'll not see that she's holding something back. He does and is quick to call her on it.

"What else?" Ed presses, hating to be kept in the dark or offered a professional surprise that he can't anticipate. "You're not tellin' me something."

"You've been edgy all day," she counters, "something you're not telling me?"

Cornered…and that was something they both know he hates. But she wasn't about to divulge information that had been entrusted to her by a superior; no matter how much her heart was begging her to confess to him and he was about to show her the folly of her headstrong ways.

So without so much as a no, Ed merely purses his lips and then heads off after Spike, leaving her to give herself a mental ass kicking; knowing that if they were to go out later to celebrate his requalification as they had talked about the night before, things would be more strained than happy. Way to go Donna, her brain berates. If you're falling in love with him, back off now…can't you see this isn't easy on him? Damn I hate all these feelings that come with a new relationship.

"Hey, what's wrong with him?"

"He's been like that all week," Jules sighs as she looks over at Sam. "What is it?"

All week? Donn's mind races? He hadn't mentioned anything that would make him this edgy. He mentioned something with Roy but merely shrugged it off as normal sibling rivalry, something she could attest to. Maybe he just didn't want to open up that much yet? But when Donna sees the look Sam gives Jules she knows that something else is brewing between the members of Team One and instantly feels a few pangs of jealousy toward the one about to confess something intimate about the man she was falling in love with.

"Roy gave him an ultimatum," Sam replies with a heavy sigh, thinking back to the discussion he had with Ed a few weeks back; the incident stemming first with Roy's fateful actions at the Sunrise Motel and then his nearly illegal actions in the shipyard when Sam took out the man who had sold the guns that had Roy's partner killed. "His hearing is today and…well it was Ed that had him suspended by going to his superior. Roy told him that if Ed didn't show up at the hearing today like he said he would that Ed could forget that he ever had a brother and Roy would let everyone know it was Ed's fault he's not back on the force."

What? Ed has that hanging over his head as well as this Larry Toth to worry about breaking up the team? No wonder he's stressed, her mind laments as she watches Ed disappear inside the building. And after I let him be blindsided like that. This is all my fault!

For a few moments she looks at Sam, frustrated that Ed had confessed all that to him instead of to her, but then sharply reminds herself that it wasn't fair to Sam to bear any ill will, her and Ed had just decided about a week ago to take things past serious friendship, testing the dating waters. Still wish he had told me, she sighs as the door closes and Ed is gone. Ed…I'm sorry.

XXXXXXXX

Ed looks at Holleran before heading for the phone call that Winnie just paged him for.

"Where the hell are you Ed? I'm about to give my side and I need you here!" Roy's voice hisses in anger to Ed over the phone. Ed looks at Winnie and then over at Holleran and silently curses.

"My turn isn't…"

"Damn it Ed, you promised. I can't do this on my own," Roy reminds him. "I need you here…telling your side. You're the only one they're gonna take seriously and you know that. You don't show up and I'm finished!" Roy's reminds his brother. "You told on me and now you gotta…"

"Yeah I know that Roy," Ed replies with a heavy sigh.

"I'm gonna give my side and then it's your turn. You don't show up and we're done."

"Stop with the threats Roy," Ed groans.

"It not a threat. Just be here."

Ed's face winces as the slamming of the phone on Roy's side resounds in his mind as the line goes dead and he looks over at Holleran. Damn it I gotta go, Ed's mind growls as his lips emit a heavy sigh. And talking to Holleran right after that call wasn't the best idea for it results in a heated showdown with Ed demanding answers and Holleran warning the very agitated team one team leader that he was "out of line."

"You heard that right? I gotta go. I can requalify later," Ed tells Holleran in a firm tone.

"Without you being here, today's tests are meaningless."

"This makes no sense," Ed growls as he turns to leave.

"This isn't about individual performance," Holleran starts to explain, immediately drawing Ed back to face him, "this is about the fabric of the team."

"So we reschedule…get somebody else."

"Can't be done and if you don't requalify I am not authorized to clear team one for duty," Holleran strictly but correctly warns. "The hearing just started right? I know how this works…you'll be there in time to give your side. The Chief will understand. One hour. I know this is asking a lot. Okay?"

"Okay," Ed begrudgingly agrees, hating to be backed into any kind of emotional corner but also not caring as he utters his reinforced terms. "One hour…one hour and I'm gone."

Feeling like a caged lion, being forced to watch the trainer from inside his cage and wondering when the door to freedom would be opened, Ed knows he has no choice but to head back outside and finish the rest of the requalifying events or forfeit his professional career, something he'd die before doing. Damn it Roy! Ed's mind curses as he heads for the exit doors and back outside to continue with the individual team events.

Donna watches Ed finish up and feels her core tighten once more; his expression was even tenser then it was earlier and she can't help but feel partially to blame. Winnie had told her about the call and the mini showdown between him and Holleran during the last break and she could only imagine the inner agitation that was eating away at him at this very moment. She watches him trying to diffuse something between Wordy and Spike, but her eyes lock on him and remain there until his pacing stops, landing him a few feet to her right side. Just tread carefully, her brain cautions.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," he replies, short, contrite and to the point – all business. The friendly, flirty Ed Lane from earlier was long gone, tonight was probably not gonna happen now.

"I don't think it's right they're making you stay," she utters in truth, trying to somewhat diffuse the tense situation and get him talking about it. Come on Ed…talk to me…ask me how I know…tell me you wanted to tell…tell me…something, anything, her mind begs his handsome face. Please Ed…just talk to me. But it wasn't to be – nothing.

"Okay what's next, let's get through this," he replies firmly, his mind racing that she had been told by someone other than him and was now trying to make concession. Just get through this, go to Roy's hearing and then show up at her place and talk about everything, his brain suggests, his heart chiming in agreement. Okay that's the plan…now focus and get through this.

XXXXXXXX

Finally the eleventh hour rolls around and Ed finds himself in the hot seat facing the implacable Dr. Toth. Ed looks over at Greg as Toth gets him set up and shakes his head, his teeth gritted but his mind racing to get ready to just automatically relate the answers he figures Toth wants to hear. The first few were standard questions, Toth even praising him for staying instead of rushing off to Roy's hearing despite the fact that he wasn't called up to bat yet as it were. The word association starts out with some basic answers, no thinking just responding; that is until Gordon and Petar Tomasic were mentioned and his heart rate instantly elevates. Just remain calm, his brain urges in haste, fearing emotional betrayal on the horizon.

But Toth wasn't done…he was only getting started and with each name mentioned, Ed feels his own personal and professional Titanic nearing the tip of the fateful iceberg.

"What do you do with the guilt? All those times your best wasn't good enough. All the times you were too late. Ed, you're a sniper. I know you can regulate your breath and heart rate; mask your responses. But your skin conductivity is telling another story. Even hero's crack. When things get tough at work where do you turn? The team or someone else?"

"I count on my team?" Ed answers, his response somewhat waffling between true and false.

"Just the team?" Toth interjects and Ed feels his core starting to warm.

"What's your point?"

"You're alone are you not?"

"You planning to set me up doc?" Ed smirks; Toth's expression unphased. "Am I not allowed to have friends outside the team?"

"Do you talk to them about confidential matters?" Toth presses and Ed feels his entire frame tense.

"No," Ed answers in truth, garnering a small glance from Toth. "Is this relevant?" Ed asks firmly as Toth looks at him, wondering who Ed Lane was possibly sharing confidential secrets with if not his team? An outsider? Was a breach possible?

"If you are sharing inside secrets with an outsider it could be very relevant. If you go to them in the heat of the moment…"

"I don't okay?" Ed growls in return, the needle jumping slightly. Donna's not an outsider, his brain wants to yell. But in truth he hadn't yet confessed really confidential stuff to her and after today he wonders what tomorrow will bring for them. He hadn't told her about Roy but she had found out. Just focus and get this done! His brain demands.

"I'm not doing that and time is wasting," Ed answers in truth and Toth narrows his gaze a little as the machine sides with the staunch team leader.

"Where do you turn when it's something you can't share with the team?" Toth moves on.

"My…family," Ed somewhat hesitates before he answers, knowing that in the past few months with him and Roy on the outs that his outside ear was now strained – possibly in danger of being damaged beyond repair.

"Family keeps you grounded. But who do you turn to when..."

"My family," Ed repeats firmly. "Now lets move on."

"Your family…your brother?"

"That's right."

"So how are you coping with the fact that that lifeline is in danger of professional demise due to your own actions? How are you coping with the knowledge that you turned in your own brother? That if he isn't reinstated today you have lost that confidential ear? You turned against the one person you used to turn to and trust with your very mental sanity. How do you live with that?"

Ed looks at Toth in shock. How the hell…I only told…Ed's mind spirals as he looks at Greg in shock and disbelief.

"You went behind his back, you never gave him the opportunity to do it himself. He was suspended due to your actions? He was nearly killed because he was trying to prove something…mostly to you that he was a good cop. How do you deal with that familial betrayal to cope with as well as come to terms with the stresses of the job?"

"Greg…how'd he know I turned Roy in? How'd he know about all that?" Ed gently demands, his mind racing at Greg's own betrayal, his mind thinking back to the gun dealer's house and how he had confided to Greg that he was the one responsible for Roy's current suspension and disciplinary hearing.

"I didn't trust myself Eddie to be objective as a colleague or a friend…for the sake of the team."

"For the sake of the team…" Ed nervously chuckles, his mind ablaze with fury and shock; a volatile combination about to explode. "As a friend?"

"Eddie…Eddie you tell me," Greg starts, his mind also about to boil over with regret and remorse for betraying his friend who had confessed something to him in confidence. "You tell me Eddie…you said it yourself, what should I do when there's lives on the line…"

But Ed is done hearing, participating and answering questions that will land him closer toward the emotional guillotine. It was true he had turned his brother in, but this witch hunt was now over and it was time to make good on the promise he had made to his only sibling.

"You know what…gentlemen…" Ed stands up, pulling off Toth's wires and tubing, pulling out his badge and gun, taking out the clip and placing it down on the table between Toth and Greg. "I have a brother I gotta help."

And that was it, Ed storms for the door, praying he'll make it in time to give his statement on Roy's behalf and get his brother's police status reinstated; Toth's inquisition be damned.

"Eddie!" Greg calls out to him.

"Nothing to say right now boss," Ed calls back, his eyes not seeing the team, Donna or Holleran; the exit door the only thing he was making a line for.

Donna hears the sharp tone in Ed's voice as he answers Greg and knows it's gonna take more than a sit down for a beer at their favorite bar to get him back up to the frame of mind and mood he was in the night before or even first thing this morning. She watches him storm past and bites her tongue, it wasn't even close to being within her right to go after him at the moment. She looks at the time and knows where he's heading – to see Roy. Holleran comes and tells team one they are to go home until further notice, but all she can do is nervously pace until after the hearing, hoping Ed comes back to change and then head home. Otherwise she'd wait and then head to his place to wait and waiting is something she hates.

What had Toth said to him to make him walk out just like that with Greg calling him back? Or had they finished and Ed just didn't like the results and was making it known by a defiant show of his back? Was she partly to blame for not telling him Toth was on the warpath? Was he to blame for not telling her about Roy's situation that was partly responsible for his current state of mind? Was Roy to blame for his cavalier attitude that got him into this mess in the first place? Or was Greg to blame for calling in someone he thought would help instead of harm, thus setting his team leader on this collision course?

Oh Ed…I just pray you get there in time…say what you have to to get Roy back on the job and then just go home and relax, Donna's mind inwardly sighs as she watches the metal door slowly open and Greg go in to face Holleran and Toth. About fifteen minutes later, just as Greg's about to enter, Donna casually chatting with Winnie a call comes in and they all hear the heart stopping words every police officer dreads to hear.

"10-33…where? Lakeshore and where?"

"Winnie?" Greg asks in instant concern.

"Officer down…multiple shots fired…he's SRU," Winnie states in controlled panic.

Donna, now standing behind Winnie at the desk watches Greg approach, anxiety plastered all over his face, her heart rate starting to rise. I know that area…her mind ponders as her throat tries to swallow. Oh god…please don't let it be…don't let it be Ed.

"Your team accounted for?" Greg asks Donna, knowing that team one left in their civilian clothing; not SRU gear. "It's Ed," Greg manages and Donna feels her entire world come to a complete stop.

To be continued…

A/N: Okay so yeah I had originally planned to make this just a one page/one shot but Alice had other ideas and made this into another two shot! It will incorporate some of '4.01 Personal Effects into the next update with again it being a re-write b/c well Sophie doesn't exist lol so hope you all liked this rewrite (am nervous about how this turned out) so please do review and let me know your thoughts and thanks so much in advance!