Pairing: PBJ Oneshot

Summary: Per Karkat's request, Gamzee has begun living with Tavros and though Tavros is ecstatic about having him around, a few of Gamzee's tendencies have him very annoyed. Tavros POV 2nd person past tense.

Rating: Mature

FYI: I don't do the whole tentacle stuff…

At this point in time, you had become used to being stuck in the hallway. It'd been months since you and Gamzee had begun living together. Karkat made the "request" when Gamzee freaked out last time, and not even he could stop him. The only person that seemed to be able to calm him down was you. Karkat claimed that the friendship you shared was somehow more effective than moirallegiance.

But since then Gamzee's things just seemed to pile up, and next thing you knew, you couldn't get from your room to the kitchen because of the piles of clown horns and half empty Faygo bottles. The only thing that allowed you to get through that day was a claw Nepeta had Equius fashion for you. It allowed you to grab and push Gamzee's mess around so you could get through until he woke up. Slowly but surely, you were able to make your way into the kitchen.

To your surprise, Gamzee was already awake. Not to your surprise, he was doing one more thing that irritated you. You've never yelled at Gamzee. You don't think you have the ability to yell. But you've really wanted to when he does things like this.

"Hey Tavbro," Gamzee said with a lopsided grin as he stuck the knife back into the peanut butter. The grape jelly coated knife…

"G-Gamzee…" you stuttered out.

"You sound motherfucking shakey, brother. Here, have something to eat."

He handed you a sloppily made peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You took it, trying to avoid the sticky jelly edges. The words of irritation stuck in your throat as Gamzee made one more sandwich, mixing the jelly into the peanut butter.

"Gamzee…you're…" you attempted again. Gamzee looked at you, expecting you to finish your sentence. "…you're making a mess…" Gamzee blinked in confusion. "I…I mean…you're getting the jelly all over the peanut butter jar…"

Gamzee showed obvious signs of confusion. He looked at the jar, and back to you, then back to the jar. "…well…fuck, bro…" he said, in a quiet Gamzee way. "Maybe the jelly likes the peanut butter. It likes to be all close and personal to it, mixin' around and being up and around it."

Then it was you showing the signs of confusion. Gamzee was making no sense. Peanut butter and jelly are not living things! They don't have feelings, and even if they did, they can't move around by themselves. Gamzee was the one forcing them together!

"It's a motherfucking miracle, bro," Gamzee continued. "Before they were only going to be joined between the cold, dark pieces of bread, and then get eaten…but now they can be together before that."

After going over that a few times in your head, it was enough to really make you want to splash all of the jelly into the peanut butter jar. It still made absolutely no sense, but…at the same time, it did. You glanced back down at the sloppily made sandwich, and lifted it to your mouth to take a bite. It wasn't perfect at all…but it tasted great. It was made with love and care…the only kind of love and care that someone who feels sympathy for foods can give.

Gamzee watched you as you ate the sandwich. He grinned crookedly as you finished it. The taste lingered in your mouth and you smiled back at Gamzee. Then your eyes widened in shock as Gamzee leaned over your chair, putting his face close to yours. Your cheeks heated as they turned brown, and you became lightheaded as Gamzee licked the corner of your mouth.

"Some of the peanut butter didn't make it into your mouth, Tavbro…" Gamzee said.

"O-Oh…um…oh…" you stuttered out.

"It's all separated from the rest now."

"I…um…I guess it is…"

His face stayed close to yours, and you only felt yours grow hotter. His crooked grin still stretched across his face. You had no idea where he was going, what he planned to do, or whether or not he expected you to do anything.

Gamzee slowly leaned even closer. Your noses were touching, and you could feel his breath on your lips. Your breath hitched when he closed the final distance, placing a soft kiss. But what was most surprising was it didn't feel wrong. It felt wonderful in fact.

Gamzee slowly broke apart your lips by introducing his tongue into your mouth. You felt like you were going to pass out. This was just…unbelievable. You finally closed your eyes and tried to relax. As Gamzee wrapped is tongue around yours, you curled yours around his as well. His chest got closer to yours as he roped his arms around your neck and sat on your lap.

He pulled away from your mouth and began trialing wet kisses down your jaw. He lightly nibbled on your earlobe until you felt it cut open. He sucked on it, and when he stopped, his breath hit inside your ear, tickling you.

"You taste so motherfucking good…" Gamzee said.

You didn't know what to say. Not only was it an odd comment, but you were just so lost in surprise, you couldn't even squeak a reply. Gamzee noticed the words you couldn't express verbally by the look in your eyes, and gave you a small giggle. He kissed your brown flushed nose, then kissed again between your eyes.

"G-Gamzee…um…" you stuttered out. Gamzee pulled back to see the entirety of your face to show he was listening. "…this…um…this is…really…"

"It's beautiful, Tavbro…" Gamzee interrupted. "It's a motherfucking miracle."

"Um…alright…" You gave Gamzee a small smile. He smiled back at you, then nuzzled his nose against yours. This action made you smile fully.

Gamzee kissed you again, just quickly that time. He leaned in and rested his forehead against yours. You stared into his eyes. Already, they showed a small shine of purple. It was, literally, beautiful to gaze into them. You felt as though you could stay that way for days.

Gamzee shifted in your lap and gave you an odd grin accompanied by a small giggle. You gave him a quizzical look in response. Gamzee stood from your lap and began to wheel you back through the hallway. Abandoning your chair, he picked you up, cradling you like a wiggler. Your already deep blush turned deeper as he brought you into your room.

Gently, Gamzee laid you on your bed, standing at the end. As you looked down at him, you saw why he giggled, and whey he brought you in there. Down below your belt, your pants stood up in a cone-like shape. The realization of this, if possible, made you turn an even darker shade of chocolate.

"I…I'm not doing that…!" you attempted to explain.

Gamzee giggled and leaned over you, putting himself face to face with you again. He licked your cheek, as if tasting your chocolate blush. "I know you aren't," he said. "It's a motherfucking miracle, bro…it's a miracle…"

You stared back into Gamzee's eyes, thinking about his words. It was a miracle…you had no feeling, and yet…you were arounsed…you guess. And in thinking about this, it hit you. You were aroused!

Quickly, you attempted to shuffle your way out from under Gamzee. With much effort, you were able to pull yourself into a sitting up position against the headboard. Gamzee blinked at you as the confusion was passed back to him.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"I'm not doing that!" you said. "It isn't me!"

Gamzee sat up in front of you. "It's your body doing it. Just 'cause it's not working right doesn't mean it isn't connected with your brain and your feelings. It's just not getting along with your spine."

You looked down, unsure of how to feel. Gamzee had a point, but…"I still can't feel anything…"

Gamzee slowly lifted your chin and kissed you softly on the lips. He broke away after a few seconds, and put his forehead to yours. "What do you feel here…?" He put his hand to your chest, right at your heart.

You paused for a moment, unsure of how to respond. You knew you felt something, but…it's the same something you thought you felt for Vriska before she crippled you. Despite that, you acted on your impulse. You leaned in and kissed Gamzee softly.

Though surprised at first, he kissed you back, wrapping his arms back around your neck. He leaned into you so your chests touched, and slid his tongue into your mouth. You lifted your arms up, holding his shoulders gently.

Gamzee shifted back towards the foot of the bed, pulling you underneath him. He made sure your legs were laying out in a non-contorted position. As he broke the kiss, he gently stroked your cheek with only his fingers. With his other hand, he slowly snaked up your shirt. You couldn't help but to shiver in delight.

In an unbelievable feat, Gamzee managed to lift your t-shirt up over your horns. Your chest rose and fell at great elevations as your nerves still tried to grow accustomed to these sensations. Gamzee noticed and gently took your face in his hands, then laid a soft kiss upon your forehead.

"Relax…" Gamzee whispered soothingly.

You closed your eyes as Gamzee kissed your jaw. Your breath hitched as he trailed wet kisses down your neck. You gasped as he sucked on the junction of your neck and shoulder. He continued to kiss your shoulder as your breath was released in a shaky manner. He was so gentle…and it felt amazing.

You reached up and clenched onto Gamzee's shirt. He worked with you to pull it from his torso. Without real certainty, you rubbed your hands down his chest, prompting a shiver from your newly found…matesprit…?

"G-Gamzee…?" you choked out.

"Yeah, motherfucker…?"

"Um…does…does this make us matesprits…?"

Gamzee grinned at your question. "Guess it does."

You smiled gleefully, and as well as you could, sat up on your elbows to kiss Gamzee. He kissed back, running his hands down your chest, stopping at your pantline. You shivered again as Gamzee toyed with the band of your pants. You didn't quite feel it…but you knew he was doing it…and somehow, that was enough.

It didn't take very long for your pants to slide off. With them, he took away your undergarments as well. You tried not to look down in fear of passing out from embarrassment. This attempt failed miserably when Gamzee tickled your ribs.

When you looked down, Gamzee had a full grasp on your…penis…Your face heated and you squeaked out in an attempt to protest. At the last second though, he squeezed, and you gasped, clenching onto whatever you could get your hands on. You couldn't feel it physically…but…at the same time…you felt something…

Gamzee spread your legs out, getting a good look at what's in between them. When you looked up at his face, you saw that he was soaking his fingers in his own saliva. You closed your eyes as Gamzee introduced his fingers into your hole. You attempted to imagine how it would feel…it was hard since you never had the chance to feel it before the accident.

You let out a small moan when you imagined something great. You heard Gamzee chuckle and you opened your eyes. He pulled out of you and lifted you to the sitting position. You leaned against him, pressing your chest against his, and laid a soft kiss on his shoulder.

Lifting your head, Gamzee kissed you gently, lying back with you on top. You broke the kiss, blushing hard. Gamzee smiled at you, and took the first step in the direction you had to go by unbuttoning his pants.

You wiggled your way down to get closer to the area of interest. After unzipping his pants, you slowly pulled them down. The bulge in his undergarments seemed really big, definitely bigger than yours. You felt a lump in your throat as it went dry. Slowly, you slid his undergarments off as well.

Gamzee was silent as you stared at his penis. Your face showed erratic mixed emotions. He noticed your uneasiness and reached out to you. He began to pet your left horn, making you close your eyes to enjoy it, letting out a soft, almost purring noise. Being the biggest horns out of your circle of "friends", yours were also less sensitive than say, Karkat's, but it still felt really nice, and it definitely soothed you.

You opened your eyes and took hold of his penis tenderly. You felt the shiver that went through his body. "Fuck yeah, bro…" Gamzee said quietly. Following the strokes he was doing on your horn, you began to rub up and down his length. You shivered as he hit a particularly sensitive spot on your horn, which in turn caused you to squeeze, and him to moan.

His white, purple tinted genetic material leaked out just barely. As you noticed it, the thought occurred to you that you were missing something. You lifted your head and looked at Gamzee.

"We…um…we need a bucket…" you said nervously.

Gamzee pondered this for a few seconds. When he decided on a course of action, he sat you up, and then stood up. You watched him skip out of the room and across the hall to his bedroom.

As he was gone, you couldn't help but to observe your own body. You slowly ran your fingers down your thigh…you didn't feel it. It felt the same way as touching Gamzee's leg. It was as if your bottom half belonged to someone else. It reacted to the touch, but it barely belonged to you.

Gamzee returned, bucket in hand. He sat it beside the bed and looked back at you. Your solemn expression made him frown as he sat back down beside you. "I can't leave you alone for two motherfucking seconds, can I?" Gamzee said, kissing your jaw. You smiled as you locked eyes with him again. He gently stroked your cheek with his thumb.

"…I can only truly be happy…when you're here…" you countered. Gamzee grinned and kissed you softly. You closed your eyes and kissed him back. Gamzee laid you back, hovering over you as he slid his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues wrestled and it soon became apparent that his had dominance.

Gamzee broke the kiss, stroking your cheek again. From the bucket he sat on the floor, he pulled out a bottle filled with a strange liquid substance. As he squeezed the substance into his hand, you realized it was going to be used as a lubricant. You helped him apply it, earning a soft moan.

He lifted your leg, positioning himself at your entrance. You kept your eyes open just long enough to watch his expression as he entered you. His grown made you blush. You closed your eyes and tried again to imagine the feeling.

Your whole body rocked as Gamzee began to thrust. It helped you picture the feeling and you let out a small moan. In a way, you were sure you could sense it. You were sure the sensation through the lower half of your torso was caused by this. It felt tight…and great…

"Fuck…you're so damn tight…" Gamzee muttered between his gasping moans.

You wrapped your arms around his neck tightly to pull him closer. Gamzee worked with his, continuing to thrust as he rubbed up your body. You moaned and he kissed you sloppily. You put concentration into the kiss so he could concentrate on his activities.

As he broke the kiss, he thrust particularly hard, and you could feel it. Something in you felt something really amazing. You couldn't help but to let out a loud yelping moan, earning a grin from Gamzee. He thrust again, making sure to hit that spot. It sent waves through your torso. You tightened your arms around his neck, closing your eyes tightly.

With one last groan, he quickly pulled away and out of you. Gamzee released his fluids into the bucket, moaning loudly. You sat up and leaned against him, hugging him from behind. He turned his head to look at you, and kissed your cheek softly. He whispered to you, "You're not finished yet."

He gently pushed you back against the headboard and kissed your chest softly. You blushed, having a pretty good idea where he was going. He ran his gentle kisses down your chest, then down your abdomen. He reached your penis and laid a small kiss on the tip.

Soon he had your entire length engulfed in his mouth. His eyes were locked with yours as he sucked and pulled, trying to squeeze out your genetic material. Your abdomen felt tight. You gasped harshly as stars clouded your vision. You threw your head back as Gamzee expertly caught every last drop in the bucket.

Gamzee set the bucket back on the floor and held you in his arms. You leaned against him, completely exhausted. You took a peek down at the fluids in the bucket. Your brown tinted material swirled into the purple…as if they longed to be together, and were making sure to be inseparable…It reminded you of something…but the comfort of Gamzee's arms consumed you. You closed your eyes as you cuddled close to your matesprit, humming in delight.

"You're the best motherfucker…" Gamzee said as you drifted off to sleep. "Absolutely motherfucking perfect…"