Pairing: USUK

Warning: Smut and cursing. (The best kind of warning! :D)

Disclaimer: I dis my claims.

"You're a right bloody arsehole, you know that?" Arthur screamed, his hands curling into fists. This bloody idiot. The daft fool. Arthur wasn't even sure what they were fighting about anymore. All he knew was he had to yell at that right son of a bitch and yell at him hard.

Speaking of the son of a bitch, Alfred was standing defiantly on the other side of the room. "Go fuck yourself!" he yelled.

"Oh, you'd love to see that, wouldn't you, you bloody fucking pervert!"

"Me? No way, you're the kinky one!"

Arthur sneered. This was getting bad. Only the worst fights brought in the bedroom. Or in this case the couch, the car, the tub, basically any flat surface...

...Arthur wasn't kinky.

"Shut up! You're the pervert because you like it!"

Alfred came closer to Arthur, screaming his head off. What were they fighting about in the first place, though? It didn't much matter now. Arthur was screaming back, neither one of them listening to the other. In fact, Arthur was pretty sure Alfred wasn't even talking about him anymore.

"-and that one time with the chocolate!" Arthur yelled, still trying to prove he was NOT kinky.

Because he wasn't, dammit!

"Okay, that was kind of hot." Alfred admitted.

Whoa, when did he get so close? They had been screaming at each other nose-to-nose for who knows how long. "Oh?" Arthur asked, his expression falling to disinterest. He could definitely prove Alfred was the pervert...of course he could.

"Yeah, maybe a little..." Alfred shrugged nonchalantly, his voice dropping, too.

"So you are the little weirdo, aren't you?"

"No!" Alfred protested. "Remember that one time when we were on the highway and

I was freaking driving and-"

"Never speak of that again!" Arthur spouted quickly.

"And when we went camping and got lost in the woods, or when I came to visit you in England and that scone got stuck in-"

"Oh, let's not forget you in McDonalds! In the freaking stall for Rome's sake!"

Alfred squirmed where he was standing. "On my birthday, you had the sparkler in your-"

"In the conference room!" Arthur interrupted. Alfred was really squirming now, and Arthur knew why. He was bloody loving this, wasn't he?

What were they fighting about?

Arthur lowered his lids, looking up at Alfred through half closed eyes and an expression that he hope looked the equivalent of "fuck me". This boy would remain kinkier until proven innocent.

Alfred looked away from the smaller blonde, a slight tint coming to play on his cheeks.

Arthur draped an arm over the Americans shoulders, biting his lip and waiting for Alfred's attention. "I know you liked it all~" Arthur teased, nipping at Alfred's neck and then pulling away the second the other started to moan.

"Fucking tease!" Alfred groaned, pulling the small blonde closer. He was flush against him, still not dropping his whore-ish facade, clinging to Alfred's shoulders. "Hmmm?" he mumbled, not looking directly at the tall blonde man. Alfred was clearly aroused, still refusing to look at Arthur, and was adamantly whining. Arthur ground up against Alfred shortly, and then pulled away, leaving the former feeling cold and needy. Arthur tugged away from Alfred's possessive arms, heading down the hall, towards the bedroom. Alfred followed like a lost puppy, no anger from the previous argument showing on his face. Arthur smirked and practically skipped to the bedroom.

He laid himself out on the bed, Alfred appearing above him in record time.

"Admit who's kinkier." Arthur said, unbuckling Alfred's belt, not touching his crotch, not providing any form of Alfred's relief.

"Nmmm." was all Alfred said, watching as Arthur tugged down the pants he had been working on. Arthur smiled, noticing Alfred was already hard.

He would have this boy eating from the palm of his hands in five seconds.

Alfred's shirt disappeared, and Arthur undressed himself to match his partner.

The two were left lying almost completely naked, Alfred moaning and whimpering as Arthur teased him relentlessly, and Arthur nearly snickering in evil delight. The so called "gentleman" plunged his hand into Alfred's boxers, hearing Alfred whimper. He stroked Alfred for a few minutes, and then pulled away just as quickly.

"Arthur!" Alfred moaned and complained at the same time.

Crap.

Arthur was kind of getting hard too.

Kind of.

Maybe.

Okay, he was.

Alfred apparently decided enough was enough and tackled Arthur into the bed, holding the blonde's arms above his head, grinding into him with a loud moan.

Arthur tried to gain the upper hand, locking his lips against Alfred's and prodding his lip until his tongue was given entrance. Alfred's grip loosened but his grinding sure as hell didn't let up.

Dammit.

Arthur was grinding back. God damn his body. Betraying him like that.

"You're kinky." Arthur breathed, refusing to give in.

"Pervert old man."

Alfred ripped Arthur's boxers from his waist, exposing the hard, needy cock.

Arthur immediately retaliated by doing the same to Alfred.

"Fuck." the American hissed. He pulled away from Arthur, and fumbled around the bedside drawer. Arthur was thankfully for some breathing room, he was gasping. Alfred returned with a condom, lube, and a smirk, much to Arthur's irritation.

Wait-why was he irritated again? Was he supposed to be mad?

"Arthur~" Alfred whispered, tugging the condom over his own cock and watching as Arthur swallowed heavily. He squirted the lube into his hand, warming it up quickly and then all but flipping Arthur over.

Not that he minded.

Alfred didn't take it easy on him, by now they were used to it. Arthur had been bottoming a lot recently, and so Alfred had no trouble quickly fingering him. Arthur moaned and begged for Alfred to just hurry up already.

But still, somewhere in the back of his mind he couldn't help but feel as if he was forgetting something.

"I'm putting it in now..." Alfred declared huskily, his breathing heavy.

Arthur all but moaned and sprang up his ass in an inviting manner. Alfred took the kindly invitation, and thrust into the needy Englishman.

Arthur's head snapped back. Dammit. No matter how many times they did that he would never get used to the initial thrust.

But Alfred was always so gentle with him, always so attentive to his needs, too.

He stroked Arthur's cock to the rhythm he set, whispering sweet nothing's into his ear. How Arthur loved this man. He would never be mad at him.

Alfred moaned, his breath somehow managed to get even deeper and louder, which of course prompted a reaction in "Artie".

"Al-Alfred!" Arthur cried; his back arching against his partner. "I'm- I'm going

to-!"

And that was it for Alfred, who came inside of Arthur with a loud moan, the latter following soon after.

"Heh..." Alfred smiled. "That was awesome."

He wrapped the blonde in his embrace and pulled out of him, nuzzling into his neck. "I love you~"

Arthur sighed, thinking about what just happened. Alfred was right, the sex was awesome. So why did he feel so...let down?

"The fight!" he said aloud, surprised.

Alfred seemed to remember too, and he pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Oh yeah! What were we even fighting about, anyway?"

"I can't remember..."

Alfred chuckled, pulling Arthur even closer to him.

"Well whatever it was, we seem to have 'cum' to an understanding."

Hey guys! Happy Easter! Or, as I like to call it: ZOMBIE DAY.

'Cause y'know, Jesus came back to life…?

No?

I'll shut up.

So this was just a quick little oneshot. I wrote it for the sole prupose of the last line. And also to practice writing smut. Hope you enjoyed~

(ps—My computer has a terrible virus, so if you're alerted to me, sorry, but I won't be posting as often as I wish I could!)

Sorry for any mistakes, I'm American!

-Mallory