Raine Lemuria: Heh the Evil begins…

Soma: Is this really necessary?

Raine Lemuria: Are you kidding with your looks….

Soma: I don't think he approves….

Raine Lemuria: *Smirk* Oh, I beg to differ…..

Chapter 1: Soma in Wonderland

The first thing that Soma smelled was flowers, spring water, and heard bird song. Frosted azure blue eyes opened and beheld clear skies had a flower crown in his lap and a little cinnamon colored cat on his knee. And he heard the hum drum of a lecture. Am I in….a TREE? He looked down and let out a blood curdling scream!

"I'M ALICE?"

"Master Soma, please, kindly pay attention to your lesson." The old librarian sighed as he removed his glasses. Soma looked at the old man and turned away, sick to his stomach. The old man was dressed in a purple dress, complete with bonnet and high heeled shoes and a book in his lap.

"I'm sorry but….I think I'm going to be sick." Soma clasped a hand over his mouth and ran to retch. After relieving his upset stomach he looked up and saw a dude in a white suit, rabbit ears and a big ass watch!

"Oh dear, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late." The man-rabbit said as he dashed off. Soma, being curious, followed after him, his little kitten following close behind. Soma watched as the strange rabbit dashed into a hole in a tree stump after waving bye and was in hot pursuit. Of course, like Alice, he didn't look before leaping….

"Aw SHIT!" Soma yelped, falling face first down the rabbit hole. What got him was that there was no ground. In fact, he floated down! He looked around as he floated, and shrugged his shoulders. Ah fuck it might as well go with it. Before he could think further, he found himself hanging upside down, feet hooked on a curtain rod! He had a glimpse of the man rabbit and after composing himself, went after him, begging him to hold on a minute but the rabbit didn't hear squat, dashing through a small door. Soma almost missed it but went to open it, surprised that the door after the first one was smaller. He opened at least five doors before he got to the real one, swearing to himself no more sweets before bed after getting stuck for a moment.

"This is some crazy shit!" Soma said. "Now I know how Alice felt!" He saw a little closed curtain and after pushing it back saw another little door but the face….

"Hammer?"

"Soma….heh, you're in a dress!"

"I know, but this is not the time, did you see a white rabbit?"

"Oh yea, he came through but the dude's gone now."

"Great, let me through."

"Sorry, I can't. I'm locked!"

"Where's the key?"

"Hidden…"

"Oh come on."

"Check the table."

"What table?" Soma asked, eyes widening as a table came from no where with a little bottle. "Do you think I'm dumb enough to drink this and leave the key on the table?"

"I know you're a smart kid, so what's going on?"

"Some boneheaded son of a bitch took my kids."

"Where's Arikado?"

"I haven't found him in this story yet."

"Ok, tell you what, let's just do this. The key's not appearing 'cause it wants to go by the book, we don't have time for it. You have to shrink down and I'll let you through." Soma drank out of the bottle and shrank, afterwards Hammer let him through.

"Good luck Soma! See you in the next story!"

"Thanks!" Soma called back before running down the path. He was determined to find his husband and his children. I'm so going to kick that Reaper's bony ass for this! His anger fueled him to run faster and soon, blinded by his rage, he got lost!

"Where am I now?" He growled as he looked around. He was now in a wooded area. He followed some smoke clouds which led him to a mushroom where an over joyous man was puffing away on his pipe.

"Ah, you must be Soma, welcome."

"Who are you?"

"My name is Saint Germain and I can tell that you're lost and troubled."

"Well yea I am lost, and I'm worried about my children and their father."

"Well, you're too small for anything, why not take bits off my mushroom here. Remember one side is to make you small and the other, large. But be cautious on how much you consume."

"And the direction on where I should go?"

"Oh yes, follow the echoes within yourself and you'll do fine." With that he was gone in a puff of smoke, leaving Soma alone and pissed off.

"Thanks for nothing you coot!" He yelled into the darkness. Rubbing his arms to warm himself he walked down, and out of the woods. He kicked himself in his head for not acting fast enough. My children….Adrian….where are you? He dropped to his knees, hot tears running down his face. He couldn't help it, he just cried.

"Hey Soma, don't cry." A voice called above his head. "Up here." Soma sniffled and looked up. There was Shanoa but she wasn't exactly human.

"Shanoa, what are you…."

"Here to help you." The witch said. "And I'm just using a glyph."

"How do I get out of here?"

"You have to find the Royals."

"The Queen of Hearts," Soma said as he crossed his arms.

"No, you have to see the King and Prince." Shanoa said. "In fact; you're married to one of them." She looked at the silverette with a smirk. "I think your husband would be pleased."

"Where would I find them?" Soma asked. Shanoa pulled down a lever and within the tree was the view of a castle.

"Good luck!" She called before disappearing. Soma smiled and walked on. He admired the beautiful white rose bushes but did a double take when he saw a vampire painting them red!

"Hey, what are you doing?" Soma called, startling the vampire. "Are you nuts?"

"Look Kid, I got orders from the King himself to plant red roses, but I fucked up and planted white ones instead! I'm doing this to save my ass!"

"Why don't you just tell the King you fucked up?" Soma asked. The vampire looked at him as if he were crazy!

"Look Kid, the King's a real schzo! One moment he's fine and in the next, he's flying over the cuckoo's nest. I don't want to be here for that! Now you got a choice you can help me or get out of my way!" Soma looked at the distraught red head and sighed.

"Fine, I'll help." The red head smiled and led him to a bush. Soma looked at the roses, and then, as soon as his brush was close to the paint, trumpets sounded and guards marched in.

"Aw shit, the KING!" The red head whimpered. "Quick get rid of the stuff!" He and a few other gardeners pitched the paint and brushes away and bowed. Soma rolled his eyes and waited. He wasn't disappointed with a long wait. There in front of the guards were two men, looking to be father and son and dressed to the nines. The older man stared at the rose bushes then smirked.

"Ah, who painted my roses red?" He asked dangerously. "WHO PAINTED MY ROSES RED?" Soma watched as the gardeners whimpered and stammered blames at each other. This pissed the King off further.

"What a bunch of pansies! Well, since no one wants to confess, OFF WITH ALL THEIR HEADS!"

"What," Soma said. "I didn't do anything."

"Soma, you made it and what on Earth….are you supposed to be Alice?"

"Look who's talking, you're supposed to be the Queen of Hearts!"

"Then how come you're in a dress and I'm not?"

"Like I know, how do I get out of here? And where's Adrian?"

"Right here Angel." The Prince said from behind. Soma had to stifle his laugh because his husband was dressed in a complete prince outfit down to the tights!

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you," Arikado chuckled as he fingered Soma's dress. "Although….I wouldn't mind if you kept this on for a spell."

"You wouldn't!" Soma said as he slapped his husband's questing hands away. "Get away you tight wearing pervert!" His husband leaned in and captured him in a passionate kiss. Soma melted into the older half breed and moaned. No matter what, he couldn't be angry with his husband. He shuddered in pleasure as he felt his husband's body press against his and a draft as he felt his dress being lifted and pushed away….

"HEY!" They heard the King say. "We have the kids to think about."

"All right Father, you're right." Arikado sighed as he put his beloved down. But you are keeping that dress! He thought with a smirk. Soma was about to retort when they heard a cackle.

"Congratulations, you completed your first story." The Time Reaper said. "I'll reward you with know how about the children, they're fast asleep and well. You wouldn't be able to pass through my dragon and wall of eternal thorns."

"You bast…." Soma, Arikado and Mathias managed before once again, falling to the darkness.

Soma: Oh, that was mean!

Raine Lemuria: Sorry dude, the story has to go on!

Soma: I mean the dress thing….

Raine Lemuria: What Adrian loved it….

Arikado/Alucard: I didn't get to finish…..

Mathias/Dracula: Thank God…..What?

Raine Lemuria: Um….before hell freezes over, please let me know! Thanks to TheMeikyuuButterflyand koneko003 for reviewing! Hope I didn't take too long!