Never Forgotten
Disclaimer: Yea I don't own Glee…sadly
This popped in my head and I just had to share it with you guys…hope you like it! Saw "Big Brother" and I absolutely loved it!
It was that day again. The day just meant for mothers.
Kurt Hummel was at the mall with Mercedes. Normally he would have been ecstatic to go and buy a new outfit to fit in his overflowing closet but not today.
His colorful eyes flashed from banner to banner. Each yelled their message clearly and reminded him of the one thing he wanted most in the world but would never have.
It was Mother's Day.
He saw a young boy wearing a neat school uniform and his mother sitting together in the food court. Kurt smiled when the small boy held out a slightly crooked stemmed rose to his mother. The mother was genuinely surprised at the appearance of the red rose and gave the small boy a kiss to his pert nose.
Kurt saw the adoration and joy on both faces.
Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice Mercedes trying to get his attention.
After a slight shake to his shoulder, he was taken out of his stupor.
"What? Oh I'm sorry Cedes I was just thinking about something."
Mercedes, in her attention grabbing zebra jacket and hot pink jeans, peered up at him with uncertainty.
"Are you alright Kurt you seem a bit upset?"
He remembered a time when his mother was alive that he had given her a rose that his father had bought. She had loved it so much and she immediately gave him numerous kisses on cheek and her warmest of hugs.
He had laughed so hard that day from the joy that she was his mother and how happy he had made her. He realized on many occasions, usually on this specific day, how much he wished to go back to that time when she was alive.
"Yes I'm fine, so why are we here again?"
Mercedes looked at him curiously before she replied:
"Well I have to buy my mother's day gift."
Kurt gasped at the sudden ache in his heart. He had forgotten the fact that Mercedes would be at the mall buying a gift for her mother.
He took in a deep breath to calm his nerves.
"What did you have in mind?"
Mercedes began to recite her list of ideas. Kurt was half listening as he continued to survey children and their mothers.
He didn't believe in the idea that there was just one day dedicated for celebrating mothers. He thought that if… she were alive, he would treat everyday with her like it was mother's day.
Mercedes led him into a jewelry store that she thought would be the perfect place to find a gift for her mother.
She was looking at a display of bracelets and necklaces when he noticed a couple of music boxes on display toward the back of the store.
He vaguely recalled a song that his mother would hum to him when he was sick or upset.
He gingerly opened a beautifully carved oak box. A soft melody began to play and that soft tune brought a cold chill over Kurt. The dull ache in his heart had increased tenfold.
Kurt gasped as the music box clattered back on the display table. He didn't hear the scolding that came from an employee or his best friend's yelling for him to come back.
The teen couldn't hear anything except the melody playing in his head. She had sung that song to him right before she passed away.
He was running. His name being yelled by Mercedes had no affect on him or his fast moving legs.
Kurt bumped and pushed people away from his path as he blindly searched for the exit of the suffocating place. He needed to leave or else he would explode.
The sound of his feet hitting the floor of the parking garage brought him slowly back to reality.
He rammed his key in and pressed the gas pedal. The sound of tires screeching and his quick panting was warning enough that he was getting hysterical.
Kurt drove home ignoring his phone's constant ringing. He needed quiet and he wanted to scream. Scream for all those times he needed a mother to comfort him. Scream for those times he needed help with his wardrobe. Scream because of the fact that she was never coming back.
He finally arrived home and ran to his bedroom shutting the door with a harsh slam. It was starting to get hotter and hotter. He took off his dark blue scarf and black jacket before throwing them both in the corner. The anxious teen ran his hands through his hair, making it disheveled.
The sound of doors opening and running footsteps were faintly heard. He was standing in the middle of his room looking at a picture frame in his shaking hands. It contained a picture of his mother holding his younger self close to her heart. She seemed as if she would never let go.
But she had.
Kurt jumped when a heavy hand fell on his thin shoulder. He was surprised at the expression on his father's face. There was concern accompanied by happiness?
Burt asked, "Hey kiddo are you alright, you seem paler than usual and you're shaking! What's got you wound up?"
'Why wasn't he upset?' thought Kurt. Why wasn't he depressed that today was the day meant for her, he couldn't have forgotten about her already, or had he?
The name Carole came across his mind. His father had met a woman and had been dating her for a couple of months now.
He noticed how happy she made his father and how he laughed more than before. The expression on his father's face that appeared every time she was around was indescribable. It was as if he forgot every bad thing in the world. The snide remarks from ignorant people about his son's sexual orientation and that she wasn't there at their Friday dinners.
Kurt suddenly felt angry and betrayed. He loved that his father had found someone to love but he wondered if it would kill him to show some small indication that he still missed her, that the pain and realization of she no longer being part of their lives came at random hours of the day.
His father had started talking to him about his dinner plans with Carole.
That was enough.
He threw the picture frame as hard as he could toward the opposite wall. The glass shattered from the impact and scattered across the floor. That seemed to have quieted Burt.
"Stop Dad just stop, I don't care about your plans with Carole okay?"
He exploded all the emotions he had been repressing were making their way out. The constant harassment from jocks at school, the loneliness he felt about being the only out of the closet gay guy at school. Having this unexpected pain had just left him tired of fighting and pretending that he was fine. He wasn't fine at all.
Burt was in shock, he had never seen his son act violent or yell at him in anger. There was something wrong with the small teen that was shaking in fury before him. He was about to calm the hyperventilating boy but hesitated when Kurt held up a hand clearly telling him to back off.
He was worried about his boy, the whole week he had seen his son be less enthusiastic, and his singing had become less heard in their quiet home. Burt had meant to express his concern in the sudden change in character but he wasn't the best when it came to these deep conversations. Today he would have to give it his best shot.
"Look kid, I know I'm not sharpest tool in the shed but I have noticed how moody you have been these past days…is there something bothering you at school?"
Kurt had wrapped his arms around his small frame to keep some sort of composure. He didn't want to stress his father with his problems with school bullies and neither did he cause him to be uncomfortable with his desire to talk to someone who he could relate with.
Taking a couple of deep breaths before he said, "There is nothing wrong dad, I…"
He never finished his thought because his father had chosen to pick up the photo that had broken free from its frame.
Burt's eyes ran over the image of his late wife. He saw how happy Kurt was in her arms. The older version of Kurt that stood in front of him seemed hurt and angry. He wanted to fix the problem; he only wished he knew what the problem was.
"You have to help me out here Kurt, said Burt, "I can't read your mind and I don't usually know what to say, that was your mom's specialty and I…"
He stopped when he noticed Kurt breaking down, tears running down his flushed cheeks.
'What did I say?' thought Burt.
From what he could decipher from Kurt's muffled words, he found out that it was Mother's day. Mother's day of course, the poor kid missed his mom. But the anger could not have come from it being Mother's day it came from something much more personal.
"You miss your mom Kurt? I'm sorry kid about forgetting today but I miss her too, everyday I wake up and see her toothbrush near mine just reminds me how much I miss her in our lives."
That seemed to have gotten Kurt's attention because he responded, "Well you never say anything, and you never even indicate that you miss her or that it hurts to not see her."
'So this is what has been hurting Kurt', thought Burt.
"Kurt did you really think I had forgotten about your mother?"
His heart broke when the teen who he had seen grow to be an independent, talented young man nod his head in affirmative.
He gently pulled Kurt into his arms, hoping that it gave him some sort of comfort and security.
Burt felt tears wet his shirt and heard Kurt muffle:
"How do you deal with mom not being here?"
The question held so much desperation and innocence that it brought a few tears to the older man's eyes.
He gently pushed Kurt away and cupped the teens flushed, wet face. Both pairs of eyes stared into each other, searching for answers.
Burt finally answered, "I have you buddy, and you remind me so much about her. Your eyes, mannerism heck even your voice."
This made both men chuckle.
Kurt wiped his eyes before he said, "Thanks dad but don't you ever feel like this big empty hole in your heart and nothing you do can fill it?"
His father replied, "Yeah I do feel like that but then I think that your mom would have never wanted us to be depressed about her not being here. She would have wanted us to move on and continue to live our lives."
"I am so jealous dad, you never look upset and that's really why I'm so angry at you. It's like you have forgotten her and replaced her with Carole."
Burt's eyes widened at the teenager's words, he said, "Listen Kurt Hummel never ever, ever think that your mother's place will be replaced. It can never be. Carole I love her and she fills a different part of my heart. She makes me happy and I thought she made you happy as well. I'm sorry if I ever made you think that I had forgotten about your mother."
That was all he needed to know. Those words were what Kurt needed to hear to make him feel better. He wasn't alone with this pain someone also shared his pain and from what he had learned, it would go away bit by bit. Things will get better.
He gave a soft laugh before he threw himself against the man he had and will always look up to. Kurt felt his father lift him up from his feet. He clearly remembered the time he had fallen from his bike and felt like giving up but his father had been there to pick up just like now.
He would be okay, he knew it.
Did ya like it? Well tell me what you think guys!