Chapter 26

I had hoped that the dinner at Effie's would be our only large social outing while we were in Pittsburgh, but I was quickly proven wrong. I found myself wearing a golden gown to the Van Haute's party not a full week after I started helping with Peeta's rehabilitation. I wanted to skip the party, but Peeta told me that the Van Hautes were one of the Mellarks' best business partners. He assured me that things would be different than the last time, and thankfully, he was right. This time, we were both more confident about facing society. Between Johanna and Effie's coaching, I felt like I had a stronger footing. Peeta's confidence was mostly due to his time with Finnick, learning how to handle himself better with his limited sight. The rest came from the pair of artificial legs beneath him. It was amazing the difference that standing seemed to make in how people treated him. Unlike his last outing, men shook his hand heartily while meeting his gaze and the smiles Peeta gave them in return were indeed genuine.

By the time we were through the receiving line and had said hello to the rest of the guests, the strain Peeta was putting on himself by standing for so long had begun to creep across his features. I led him to a chair without asking. It was a sign of just how far Peeta had come that he didn't fight me. We both knew that he would need his strength for the rest of the evening to come.

"And here is the lovely pair that I was hoping to see tonight," a masculine voice drawled from behind me. Even without looking, I knew it was Luke.

Peeta's jaw tightened. "I thought you would have slunk away home by now."

"I am home," his brother countered as he took a seat on the settee uninvited. Gloss appeared beside him, reminding me of a loyal guard dog.

"Was there something you wanted?" I asked, placing a hand on my husband's shoulder.

"I paid a visit to Johanna Mason earlier this afternoon. She was less than welcoming at first, but I do believe that I have started to make amends to her. Does that win me any favor?" Luke asked, ignoring my question.

"A bit late, don't you think?" Peeta scoffed. "I'm surprised you're still in one piece after she was done with you. I would have made bets that I'd have been the more intact brother."

Regret crossed the elder brother's features. "I'd earned it if she had. Is it so hard to believe that I want to make things right?"

"If there's one thing I've learned recently, it's that just because you want to do something doesn't mean you're going to be able to do it. This isn't the time or the place to talk about these things," Peeta said thoughtfully.

"All right then," Luke agreed. "But we will talk about it someday."

"Do you think Johanna really forgave him?" I wondered aloud as I watched Luke walk away to greet friends across the room.

Peeta shrugged. "With her, who knows?"

As the evening went on, I couldn't help but let my gaze drift to my brother-in-law and his stoic friend. They moved through the room easily enough without actually being visibly snubbed by anyone. Luke was certainly charming. It was a trait I had come to expect from the Mellark family, but it wasn't lost on me that the middle brother had a different type of charisma than Peeta and Matthew. There wasn't an ounce of sincerity to him. Somehow, though, no one seemed to notice. During the dessert course, I noticed that I was being watched as much as I was watching. Every so often, those icy blue eyes would make their way to where Peeta and I sat. I met his gaze firmly, and he raised his glass to me in mock salute. Raising a brow at the gesture, I excused myself to the retiring room just to escape.

Pretending to powder my nose with the ridiculous little compact Effie had insisted I buy, I stood at the mirror beside another young wife that I had met at the last party. She side-eyed me warily as a maid re-pinned her curls. I couldn't remember her name at the moment, and she didn't seem all that inclined to start up a conversation with me. It would be a lie to say that her snub didn't sting. For as much as I didn't care what most of these people thought of me, I wasn't entirely immune to their barbs as I liked to think I was. I shoved the compact into the silly purse hanging from my wrist and made my way back to the party.

On my way out the door, I heard my name spoken by some man a little farther around the corner. Curious, I stopped in my tracks for a moment to listen.

"I must say, I doubt ol' Peter is going to get his money's worth out of that girl," one man scoffed. "There's not much to her."

"I think there's just enough of her," the next sniggered. "Besides, it's not like he can afford to be too picky. I wonder how much it will cost to have a go at her once Mellark loses his shine. I might be interested."

My blood boiled and I was just about to step out of the shadows when a more familiar voice entered the conversation.

"Tsk, tsk, Seneca. I would have thought you'd have better things to spend your wife's money on than your own infidelity," Luke intervened smoothly. "I will warn you only once to keep my brother's marriage off of your list of topics to discuss in public, or else I will make sure that everyone knows some more... shall we say intimate details of your own."

"Now see here, Luke..." the other man began limply.

"No, you see here. I am not the kind-hearted soul that my brothers are. I take matters into my own hands, and I won't hesitate to answer any slight with complete social ruin," my brother-in-law promised. "Now, I think you owe my dear sister an apology. Katniss, darling, you can come out now."

I stepped from the shadows to face the men with my head held high. Despite the sweat building in my palms, I was determined to wear the same haughty mask as Luke. Slowly, I let my gaze travel the pair. The first was a stout, blond haired man in his forties who looked truly embarrassed by what had unfolded. His friend was the opposite: tall and dark with a beard and an air of defiance. I assumed that the second was the one Luke had called Seneca.

"My apologies," he murmured without an ounce of sincerity.

I met his stare dead on. "I don't accept."

Beside me, Luke broke out into a deep, rumbling laugh. "There you have it, Seneca! It seems my new sister is a good judge of character." He offered me his arm. "Shall we, Katniss?"

"Thank you," I said softly as Luke led me to a private corner.

"Don't thank me," he told me flatly. "You've got a lot to learn."

I let out an unladylike snort. "What, so I don't embarrass the Mellark family name?"

"No, you could run naked through the streets and the Mellarks will stand by you—at least on the surface, that is. What you need to learn is not to let the jackals crawl under your skin. Seneca Crane and his cronies might risk losing their brains every time they take a shit, but they have a knack for tearing down anyone they see as a threat," he explained.

"How am I a threat?" I asked incredulously.

"An intelligent woman with an even an ounce of independence is always dangerous." Luke's lips curved into a wicked smile. "Haven't you learned anything from Johanna?"

"I learned that I probably shouldn't be alone with you."

Quirking a brow, his eyes sparkled with amusement. "I promise that you'll never have anything to fear from me."

We returned to the table together, and I was half expecting there to be whispers as we approached. No one seemed to notice though, as Luke pulled out my chair for me. I was amazed by the realization that none of them saw my association with him as shocking the way they had with Johanna. Of course, I had always known that women were held to a much higher standard than men were, but I had never realized just how broad the gap truly was. Luke had been right about independent women being a threat to this world, because the minute we stopped holding ourselves to these standards, the harder we would be to control.

"Is everything all right?" Peeta whispered.

"Fine," I answered, still in a daze.

The rest of the party passed without any other incidents. I stayed by Peeta's side and only spoke when spoken to. I watched the other women at the party as they hovered by their husbands, dressed in their finery with diamonds and jewels on their throats. For the first time in my life, I realized that perhaps being poor wasn't the worst fate in the world. It was one thing to own very little, but quite another to be owned. Right then and there, I promised myself that I while I still drew breath, I would never allow my daughters or granddaughters to ever suffer that fate.

We skipped church the next morning. Matthew disappeared into his garden after breakfast while Peeta and I settled into the study with the newspaper. Not long after we arrived in Pittsburgh I'd started reading the paper to him nearly every day, and surprisingly, we'd both come to enjoy it. At home, I'd been mostly removed from what happened in the rest of the world, but now I was learning about everything from politics and economics to the arts. Peeta and I talked about things happening in places I had never even heard of before then. It was liberating.

Just as we finished reading about the Pirates last game against the Dodgers, Mrs. Paylor came into the room with an even more pinched expression than usual. "Mr. Lucas Mellark, Ms. Mason, and Mr. Gloss have come to visit, Sir," she said icily. "Will you be receiving callers?"

"Of course they will," Johanna answered before Peeta or I could open our mouths to speak. She pushed right by Mrs. Paylor, giving the housekeeper a withering glare for good measure. Luke and Mr. Gloss trailed in her wake, the former looking quite amused by her boldness and the latter looking equally embarrassed by it.

"What a pleasant surprise," I quipped blandly as Johanna seated herself in one of the armchairs across from us.

"In my defense," Luke drawled, "I was in favor of calling ahead. Johanna seemed to think that you might not see me if we did."

Peeta cleared his throat. "That would depend on who answered the telephone."

"And if it was you?" his brother asked.

"I'm not sure," Peeta replied truthfully. "Mrs. Paylor is, no doubt, on her way to get Matthew as we speak. Why are you here? Did you all come together to pick a fight?''

Johanna's expression softened. "Peeta, you need to understand that this isn't going to be an easy conversation for any of us to have. Gloss and I came because we're Luke's friends every bit as much as I am yours."

Matthew arrived in the study, still wearing his trousers with dirt at the knees and his sleeves rolled up. He eyed the gathering without seeming too surprised. I couldn't help but notice how his gaze lingered on Johanna. I expected him to be angry, but he looked more defeated than anything.

"Lovely to see you, Jo," he said quietly before turning to the others with a nod. "Gentlemen."

"Is that all you're going to say?" Luke demanded, incredulously. "No censure? No threats?"

Matthew shrugged. "I assume you've come to make an announcement. And although I wish it had come sooner, I won't fault you for doing the right thing now."

"Of all the boneheaded male assumptions to make!" Johanna blurted out. "You haven't heard what Luke or I came here to say and you're already planning our lives out. I wouldn't marry a Mellark man if my life depended on it."

"Well then, tell us what you have to tell us," he snapped back irritably, raking a hand through his hair.

"Do you remember the night you found Jo and I in the library together?" Luke asked grimly.

His jaw tightened, but Matthew managed to give a curt nod. "It's not exactly something I'm likely to forget. That was one of the worst nights of my life."

Luke suddenly stood up and began to pace before the fireplace. Whatever was on his mind, he couldn't quite keep the cool facade that he usually did. "I wasn't alone with Johanna before you came in that night," he finally muttered. "She was completely innocent, and I did nothing to protect my friend from your scorn."

"I don't understand," Peeta cut in. "I was there that night, too. You and Johanna were alone in the library when we all arrived. And if you weren't alone, why were you only half dressed?"

"I was with him," Gloss clarified, giving Luke an unmistakable look. "Johanna came to warn us that all of you were coming. In the second it took for you to open the door, I was able to duck behind the corner. You were all so focused on them that you didn't see me sneak back in behind your ranks."

Swallowing hard, Luke faced his brothers. "Gloss and I have been lovers for almost seven years now. I never touched Johanna that way—I've never touched any woman that way. If my family is going to hate me, at the very least hate me for what I have done instead of what I haven't."

"I don't hate you," Peeta said quietly, reaching out toward where Luke stood. He grasped his brother's fingers tightly. "I've been angry, but I never hated you. I never could. I only wish you would have told us sooner. Though I suppose, to a degree, that I already knew."

"You already knew?" his brother echoed with a dumbfounded expression.

"I was twelve or so when I figured out that there was something different about you," Peeta said thoughtfully. "The summer that father hired Cinna, the art instructor, the two of you seemed to vanish into thin air all the time. Then one day, I climbed up in the old willow to get a different view of the lake."

Luke buried his face in his hand, shaking his head with laughter. "Oh, you got a view all right, I assume. How come you never say anything about it?"

"I might have asked someone about it," Peeta flushed. "Cinna's instruction on the topic of homosexual love was certainly something that boarding school left out when they taught us."

"Peeta, when I thought you might die..." Luke's voice trailed off, quaking with emotion. "I thought you were going to die hating me. I prayed to God that I might have a second chance."

"Now we all do," my husband said with a smile.

Seemingly unmoved by the display before her, Johanna turned to the mantle that Matthew was currently bracing himself against, staring into the empty hearth. "Well?" she prompted impatiently. "Don't you have anything to say about this?"

"How could you?" His words were low, but laced with an anguished rage. When Matthew looked up at Luke and Johanna, his eyes were wide with an almost manic quality. "You let me think that the woman I loved—still love more than life and my own flesh and blood—betrayed me. I would have done anything for either of you, and you let me suffer like that?"

Johanna moved to comfort him, but he pushed her away. Though her eyes were dry, I could see the rawness of what she must have been feeling. "I wanted to tell you. I wanted Luke to tell you! But..."

"But what?" he growled. "You didn't want to marry me anyhow? You could have said yes that night and we would have married, the scandal and my family be damned!"

"This isn't the time to talk about it," she ground out through clenched teeth as she glanced over to where we all still sat.

Letting out a snort of disgust, Matthew tossed his hands up in the air. "I suppose if you didn't want to talk about any of this for the last five years, there certainly isn't any rush now. If you'll all excuse me..."

No one moved as he left the room. I think we all knew that following him would only prolong his rage. He was going to have to sort out his feelings on his own. Though I wouldn't have said it then, I understood why Matthew needed to leave that day. He wasn't wrong to be angry. He'd been carrying the hurt that night had caused him for so long. Maybe if Johanna or Luke had told him sooner, he would have simply forgiven them and moved along, but far too much time had passed for him to simply let bygones be bygones.

Johanna slumped back into her chair bonelessly, and Luke put a hand on her shoulder. He smiled wryly. "Well, at least he didn't demand to meet at the park at dawn with pistols or some other equally melodramatic rubbish."

"He'll calm down eventually," Peeta assured him. "You know how he can be."

I could tell by the frown on Jo's face that there were a million things she wanted to say just then, but wouldn't. She was every bit as stubborn as Matthew—perhaps even more so—though I had little room to talk. Maybe it was because we were so alike that I could see her struggling to keep all of her pain and disappointment hidden.

"It's a beautiful day and I'm tired of being indoors," I said, standing suddenly and smoothing my skirts. "Let's go for a walk, Jo."

We'd gone nearly three blocks before she said so much as a word. "Love is weird," she muttered softly.

"It is," I agreed. "But things aren't over between you and Matthew unless you want them to be. Even I can see how much he loves you, and I'm not exactly a romantic."

"He was right, though. I didn't want to get married back then. I knew that if I'd told him sooner rather than later, all would have been forgiven and we'd have gotten married. Marriage is one of the few things that actually scares me. If I thought for a second we could have love without marriage and both be happy, I'd be jumping at the chance, but he wants more," she explained. "Katniss, I know you're trying to help, but this is just one of those things that can't be fixed. I've been lying in the bed I made for a while now."

Though I didn't offer any more advice, part of me knew that this wasn't the end of it. Johanna may be ready to give up, but I knew that even as angry as he was, Matthew wasn't. He was like Peeta in that regard. I only hoped that Johanna would realize what she had right in front of her before it was too late.