An angsty insert of what I feel Starscream's feelings are during his whole SIC status. This can be taken as either in TFA (before they come to Earth in search of the Allspark) or TFP, which ever suits your fancy. In TFA, when Screamer clones himself, the femme clone, Slipstream, seems to challenge his authority over anything. She causes him to second guess himself and just annoys the crap out of the poor D-con SIC. I like to think that she symbolized his self-loathing. Her critical optic, basically brought him to his knees. So, yeah...wanted to delve into that.

Warnings:excessive blood (energon), dark imagery, extreme self-loathing, one-sided MegsXStar

Exposed circuitry crackled as Starscream pulled his body through his quarters door. Slick with energon, his servo slipped several times trying to hit the panel for the lights, before gravity won out and pulled his soaked appendage back down, leaving a trail of the precious liquid trailing down the wall, pooling at the crease where the wall ended and the floor began. Sharp pain, as if he was being branded with the insignia all over again, scorched through his fuel lines from his wings, making his nerve endings scream as they were engulfed in the raging inferno.

The once vain seeker limped to his berth, too broken at this point to care. The energon now leaked from the slits in his arms in dark pink rivulets, trailing off his claws and dripping to the ground. Staring up blankly at the ceiling, Starscream was the perfect picture of insanity. He was literally dripping with blood, pouring out of him; and he did nothing. Not a single flinch. Groan. Whimper. Nothing. Even his optics were devoid of emotion.

Megatron would be so proud, Starscream thought. I'm broken. So broken. I don't even deserve to live after everything that he has done. Every plan I make, every suggestion that I state, every possible counter attack that I consider, Megatron is waiting with an insult. Over and over again he has made his mark on me, cutting me open, peeling my armor back and watching me break. And I deserve it, the constant pain and ache of every one of my scathing remarks.

Deep within Starscream's spark, a cold blue haze covered the horizon. Despair, harsh acceptance, depression, all melded together in the foggy storm. Each drop of the dark pink liquid drew out Starscream's conscious, slowly slipping him away from reality, further into the insanity of his own mind.

When will he see that I just want him to not hurt me; to touch me without causing pain. The only attention that I get from him is his blade, slicing through my lines, nerve endings crackling in the aftermath. When will he see that he owns me, completely, without all of this? I'm his; I want to be looked at without disgust, without hatred and loathing...then again, that's what I get for trying to upstage him.

The darkness grew stronger, preventing all light from entering. But just before it could eclipse his spark, hot flashes of blood red shot across the sky, ripping and tearing the blue to shreds. The jagged lines tore at Starscream's soul, leaving large gashes eerily similar to the rest of his chassis.

And throughout it all, the energon kept dripping, taking the sanity with it. His optics began to flicker, but the blank stare, emotionless at the ceiling never wavered.

BUT I DESERVE MORE! I'VE BEEN WITH HIM FROM THE BEGINNING! BEFORE HE EVEN WENT INSANE WITH THAT DESIRE OF LEGENDS AND MYTHOLOGY! I'LL SHOW HIM!

In a fit of crazed rage, Starscream sat up, reveling in the pain of the action. Energon, which had begun to taper off, poured forth, so disgustingly fast and thin in its own fit of rebellion. Clutching his servo into a fist, Starscream looked down that the Energon that the movement culled from his body. Disgustedly fascinated, Starscream rocked his fist back and forth, bringing his other servo up to smear the blood across his servo, unfolding his fingers as they were painted with the life-blood.

Curling his hand, the fingers became talons, that had ended lives and ruined paint jobs for as long as he could remember. They were a weapon, something that he would use. Megatron wants me broken. He'll enjoy this. I know he will. He's already branded me, he knows that I'm his. He just doesn't think that I've accepted it. That's all I want. That's all I need. But do I deserve it?

The need to move became unbearable as Starscream began pacing his room, leaving a trail of energon as he stumbled and dragged his body across his room. The red and blue skies in his spark began their war, listless blue and backstabbing red twirling in that never ending dance that they always did. Red almost always won out; Blue didn't even know what it was fighting for. Blue deserved to die. Hopeless. Red was the Starscream that everyone hated; plotting, lying, deceitful seeker that wanted nothing more than to rule.

Both parties were tired. The energon coursed down his frame, hazing his vision even more so. He slipped on a puddle of his own energon, and, to catch himself, dug his talons into the closest thing; his mirror. The glass shattered, falling around the deranged seeker. Picking up a shard, Starscream looked down at his reflection.

He was there, blank and accepting in his fate, but in the background, Red and Blue melded together, twisted and warped like the metal on his back. In a sudden implosion, Decepticon purple bled from the seam in the direct middle of their conflict, before exploding out in rings of the substance, like the ripples in a pond.

Megatron wants me broken...and he'll have me. I try to outsmart him; if i was more powerful than he, would he look twice? Physically I am no match, but mentally I can! Yet he punishes me for trying, daring to garner some kind of reaction from him in a positive light. Is that too much to ask? Starscream squeezed the shard, slicing up his servos even more so, and adding to the energon flow.

With his last remaining conscious thought, Starscream sent a deceptively calm comm. to the resident CMO requesting his presence in the Seeker's quarters.

Then it all went black.

Well...that was new, and old at the same time. I don't really know how the angst played out here so please leave a review letting me know if this was what you wanted! If not, then I'll hopefully gain some new readers from this, and I get an excuse to write another angst fic for our dear Screamer. I'll admit, he's not my fav, but when he's not annoying, I actually feel for the guy.

Oh well!

Review please!

3 Huntress