A/N: Just a quick couple of notes: This takes place two years after C.o.E. Miracle Day never happened.The new Torchwood team consists of…. Andy Davidson, Gwen's ex-police partner. Lois Habiba recruited by Gwen during C.o.E. Hannah Johnson who was the government officer sent to eliminate Jack during CoE. (Jack recruited her figuring they needed a badass on the team who isn't afraid to do what needs to be done. - Her first name was invented by me as it was never given in the show.) Previously posted on DeviantART. Though this is a revised version, with a few little changes.

NO BETA, WILL HAVE SPELLING AND GRAMMAR MISTAKE. You've been warned.

Hope you like anyway.

Chapter 1

Saturday, April 5th 2006

London, England

He knew he shouldn't do it but he just couldn't stop himself, in those hours, when it just became too hard to live and breathe. On those days and nights when not a single other person in the world can fill the hole inside him, he found himself seeking out the only person he knew without a doubt could ease the pain.

None of his co-workers knew of course, not even Gwen. She knew that life was hard for him some days, but she had no idea what those days lead him to do. Sometimes she made it worse with that sympathetic look in her eyes and the way she'd try to make things easier. When she avoided bring up the past just in case it brought the shadow to his features.

Jack stood at the door of the pub and watched the attractive dark haired man, the hand in his pocket rolling a small white pilled between his fingers. Every time he came he felt ashamed of himself, but he needed this. - He needed him. Even if he it was only for an hour or so, he had to touch him again.

Two drunken men shouldered past Jack complaining loudly at his decision to stand in the doorway of a busy London pub, on a busy Saturday night. Jack just smiled apologetically at them and moved into the bar. Their loud exchange with Jack had captured the attention of most of the bar and when those blue eyes met Jack's, he thought they shone with recognition, which of course was impossible; Jack never left him with the memories. He couldn't allow him to remember, it was too dangerous. There were some rules not even Jack Harkness broke.

Jack smiled as he walked up to the bar and stood beside the younger man, his heart pounding as it always did. He could smell his subtle aftershave despite the bar being filled with spilt drinks, women with too much perfume and men battling to equal them. Jack had to swallow against the pain that filled his chest; he missed that scent, not every day but most days. The worst moments where when he was in the street or a pub or on a job and he'd smell it, suddenly the world would stop and tilt on its axis and Jack's head would snap around, his eyes would search the crowd for the man he knew would never be there and his heart would break all over again.

Pushing those painful thoughts aside, he ordered a beer, drinking half in one go, partly to calm his nerves, partly to give him the courage he needed. It was becoming harder and harder every time. Not the pick-up, that always went the same, - Except for that first time. - it was the leaving that was difficult. The knowing that it would hurt, that was making him sick now.

A voice in his mind screamed at him to leave, to stop this now, to turn around and walk out and let it go. He'd actually done that once, walked away but it hadn't helped. It had only made life that much more difficult. He'd gone home, thrown himself into his work and almost gotten Andy killed. After that he come back and done what he knew he shouldn't. He'd never walked away again, telling himself that his team's lives depended on him giving into the craving, because more people got hurt if Jack's brain and body weren't on speaking terms.

As the beer settled in his stomach, Jack fixed his most charming smile into place, the one he knew the younger man was unable to resist, that always sparked his interest and turned to face his profile, his breath catching slightly at the sight.

"Nice place, come here often?" Jack's asked over the music. It was a cheesy pick-up line and Jack usually could do better, when he needed to, but when it came to this man, with his beautiful blue eyes, perfect bone structure and soft full lips that Jack could already taste, cheesy was like gold dust.

The man's head snapped around to meet his gaze and Jack's smile grew, already seeing that all too familiar spark of repressed interest. They stared at each other for a few long moments, Jack drinking in the sight. Lord how he missed it. Finally he held out his hand that no longer shook and introduced himself. "Jack Harkness."

The other man watched him for a moment longer, weighing up whether to take the hand or not. It was the same routine but not once had he turned away. Not once had he left. - And he wasn't going to now.

Jack watched that small shy smile spread across his features, it was such a wonderfully warm smile, then Jack felt his skin against his palm and he savoured the tingle that rushed thought his every nerve, making his heartbeat increase dangerously. The young man spoke and his voice was like music to Jack's ears.

"Ianto Jones."

TORCHWOOD

It always went the same way, they'd introduce themselves, Jack would smile charmingly, Ianto would comment on Jack's aftershave, which he never wore and then they'd grab a table. It was always the same, only the time and place changed.

Jack had been jumping back and forth through Ianto's life since the man was old enough to actually be hit on. The first time had been the 31st of December 2001, he'd been twenty and Jack had thought New Year's Eve was the perfect time to take that first step. It of course had all gone wrong; Ianto had turned around and run from him, almost literally. Jack figure he'd made his move too soon, he's waited a year, at least to Ianto it had been a year, to Jack it had been a day. The next time he's appeared in Ianto's life it had been at his twenty-first birthday and thankfully this time it had gone much more smoothly.

After that it was just a matter of picking those moments in Ianto's life that Jack knew about, things Ianto had told him, like tonight's little occasion. It was a work colleague's birthday, Ianto had said it was the worst night of his life as he'd gotten so drunk, he couldn't remember what had happened. At the time, Jack had laughed, teasing him relentlessly about just what he could have gotten up to in those missing hours. Now Jack knew.

"So, you got a girlfriend?" Jack asked, trying to make conversation and lay the ground work. Of course he already knew the answer.

"No." Ianto blushed, looking down into his pint.

"Can't think why not." Jack smirked, making sure to catch the gaze of the man opposite him. "I wouldn't kick you out of bed."

Ianto turned positively scarlet and looked around to make sure no-one had heard that. Jack laughed. Same old Ianto. For a guy who was to become so keen on public displaces of affection, he was rather prudish at present. Not that Jack blamed him. Ianto had told him that Jack had been his first and only male lover, which the older man refused to believe. Ianto was just too good at what they did to never have done it before. As it turned out, he'd been telling the truth, only he didn't quite know it. Ianto was pretty darn straight from what Jack had seen of his life, it was just that on dark lonely nights he found comfort with a nameless, faceless man.

Jack knew he should feel guilty and ashamed of himself, taking advantage of his ex-lover the way he was and when he returned to his own time, back to Torchwood, he would feel those things. But at this moment, with those blue eyes meeting his and welsh vowels ringing beautifully in his ears all he felt was desire. There was something about his relationship with Ianto, something about Ianto himself that just made it all so impossible to turn away from.

"Can you not say things like that?" Ianto whispered across the table, still bright red. "People may get the wrong idea."

Jack smirked again. "I think they'd be getting the right one." his voice dropped seductively.

"Jesus." Ianto gasped and his features took on that deer in the headlights look. "I - I'm not…." he leaned forward and dropped his voice. "I'm not gay."

Jack lifted a brow, meeting those baby blues. "You sure about that?" he whispered back, leaning across the table and into Ianto's personal space. "Cause I'd bet you a tenner, if you tried it you'd be unstoppable."

Jack could feel Ianto's breath brushing his face in a shallow rhythm and was arousing beyond words. Those beautiful baby blues had taken on that all black glow that he'd longed for, for six months. - Sometimes it was hard to belief that this was the same man he'd shagged breathless; he wasn't anything like his Ianto.

It had amazed Jack at first. The first time they'd met, the younger man had all but thrown himself at Jack, with his tight jeans and winning smile, but this Ianto. This past, innocent, uncorrupted by the strangeness of the world Ianto, didn't flirt, didn't wear tight jeans. He was shy and nervous and Jack loved it.

Ianto turned his gaze away from Jack and swallowed down all his drink. Jack smiled to himself as he leant back in his chair. Everything was going exactly as it always did. In fact Ianto was giving in quicker and quicker with each visit. The first, no, second time it had taken Jack almost the whole night to get the man into bed. Now it was barely an hour. Jack suspected it had something to do with the repressed memories. His subconscious remembering what his conscious didn't. Jack's own subconscious had his hand sliding into his trouser pocket in search of the pill he'd brought with him.

When Ianto put down his empty glass, searched the room then got to his feet, Jack knew he had him. Grabbing his coat off the back of his chair he followed the younger man out of the pub, his heart pounding in his chest. There were no more doubts in his mind, no more guilt that this wasn't fair on either of them. All that he was thinking about was Ianto's soft skin and warm mouth.

They walked out onto the cold London streets. - Ianto had moved here six months ago and was currently working for H.C Clements, unaware just where that job would lead him. - They only went a few feet, Jack walking silently behind the younger man like some kind of stalker. Which if he thought about it, he was. - Which was precisely why he didn't think about it.

Ianto passed a small darkened ally only to be pulled back by Jack, who quickly flipped the surprised Welshman around to press him back against the wall. The lights from the street lamps and bars casting coloured shadows on the brick as Jack captured Ianto's mouth in the hungry desperate kiss he'd been starving for. It had been almost two months since he'd given in to this need for Ianto. Two months of protecting earth, two months of watching Gwen glow with the joys of motherhood, two months of lying alone in his bunk because he couldn't face touching someone else. All he'd wanted for two month…was Ianto Jones.

TORCHWOOD

The frantic necessity Jack had for Ianto had him acting without conscious thought, all he wanted was to taste and feel the man. He felt Ianto shift slightly against him and knew it was out of surprise, nerves and his own desire. Their dance never chanced and Jack was thankful for that, there had been too much change in his life over the past few years. Dragging his hot mouth away from the other man, Jack moaned and gasped as he spoke. "I need you Ianto Jones." his accent making the man shiver as Jack knew it always did.

Jack and Ianto held a mutual appreciation for each other's accents, especially when Ianto was speaking his own tongue. It was rather surprising to Jack how sexier dirty talk was in Gaelic.

"I…" Ianto breathed back, his heart hammering against Jack chest. "I've never…"

Jack silenced him with a heated, demanding kiss before pulling back. "You'll be fine." After all, Ianto's body would remember even if his mind didn't. At least if the arousal pressing against Jack's was any indication. "Now, Ianto… I can't wait any longer." he breathed.

Ianto didn't fight or struggle as Jack's hands clawed at him, tugging at the belt to his slacks, till they slide down his legs under the weight of his pockets contents. His underwear was next and still the only sound the Welshman made was a groan of frustration and lust. Jack smirking at the erotic sounds rumbling from Ianto's throat and gave him another searing kiss before forcing him around, the rustle of his own clothing filling the silent ally. As was Jack's way, he came prepared. He knew Ianto's body probably better than the young man did, so it didn't take him long to have Ianto panting and arching into his touch, craving more. When Jack was sure Ianto was ready, he pushed into him, groaning loud with delight as a feeling of peace swallowed his soul. He buried his face into the already damp flesh of Ianto's neck as he moved against him, breathing in the scent that's absence broke his heart. The man's moans of pleasure and lust singing like a chorus of angels in his ear.

Jack's fingers bit into the Welshman's flesh as he continued to thrust into his lover, he tried not to leave bruises, though he knew he would. With every thrust Jack breathed Ianto's name, whispered how wonderful, sexy and darn right gorgeous he was. The only words Jack never said were the ones he needed to. The ones that he'd carried painfully inside him since that fateful day.

"J-Jesus." Ianto groaned into the shadowed brick, gasping for air as he arched back to meet Jack.

"I - t-told y-you." Jack pressed a kiss to the side of Ianto's neck, sliding his hand around to take hold of his arousal. "You're a-a na-natural Ian-t-o."

"Uhh, J-Jack… Oh, god Jack." he groaned, his forehead dropping forward to rest on the brick, his heart hammering painfully against his ribs. "Do-don't st-stop."

"Never." Jack promised, the word holding a heavy weight of mean, because when he was with Ianto, in him, kissing him, touching him, talking to him, Jack knew he would never stop, not if he lived to be five thousand years old, he could never give this up no matter how wrong it was.

The pair climaxed together and Jack stood with his head resting against Ianto's shoulder as he tried to regain his composure, get his body back under control.

The beeping of his wristband drew his attention and he swore under his breath.

"What's that?"

Jack moved back, fidgeting with his clothes. "Pager." he watched Ianto through his lashes as the man pulled up his pants and underwear. "I have to…" Jack swallowed, not wanting to say it. He didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay, take Ianto somewhere, spend some time with him, recapture what they'd lost, but duty called. "I have to go."

Ianto flushed as he paused and glance up at Jack, his eyes wide for a few moments, then the anger, then the sadness, the Captain had seen a thousand times before. "Oh…Fine." he snapped in a clipped tone, before turning to leave.

Jack's hand wrapped around his upper arm and pulled the man till their bodies were pressed close together. Looking deep into Ianto's blue gaze Jack had to fight the urge to stay, this was always the hardest part, leaving knowing that when he returned to the hub and Torchwood there would be no Ianto to greet him with coffee and a warm flirtatious smile. There would be no office romance, just him and Gwen and their new team.

And that was why his throat burned and his eyes glistened in the shadowed light. That was why he told himself it had to stop, that he couldn't come back. With a deep breath Jack pressed his lips to Ianto's in a goodbye kiss. It was always a goodbye kiss, even when he knew he'd return. "I miss you." he whispered against the other man's lips. "You have no idea how much I miss you, Ianto." he could feel the tears pooling in his eyes till they slide down his face. He kissed him once more, deeper. It was less about hunger and more about the affection Jack just wasn't able to put into words.

Pulling back, Jack took one last long look at Ianto Jones and walked away, the taste of the Retcon pill burning his tongue.

TORCHWOOD

Friday, July 6th 2011

Cardiff, Wales

Jack returned to the Hub feeling as close to peace as he ever got now. He was greeted by the sight his new team at work and a concerned looking Gwen.

"Where the hell have you been?" she demanded, arms folding over her chest.

Jack gave her his trademark lopsided smile, putting the carefree mask he'd become used to wearing into place. "Last I checked I was the boss around here." he laughed, walked past her.

"We've been trying to get hold of you for the last twenty minutes, Jack." Gwen announced following after him.

Jack turned swiftly, he feature tightened seriously with concern. "What's happened?"

Gwen met his gaze. "Hoax."

Jack rolled his eyes and carried on towards his office.

"Jack!" Gwen marched after him. "Where were you?"

"Out." he stated shrugging out of his coat and hanging up before dropping down behind his desk.

Gwen watched him, her arms still folded. "Jack?" there was worry lacing her accent now and Jack couldn't help but meet her gaze with a soft gentle smile.

"I just needed some time Gwen, alright."

"Jack…."

"Gwen. You're capable of taking care of things without Me." his tone a little too harsh.

The pair stared at each other for a long moment before Gwen nodded. "Captain Daniels has been calling for the past hour." Gwen stated. "He refuses to talk to anyone but you. He says it's important."

Jack rolled his eyes again. "It's probably about the U.N.I.T papers I haven't sent back." he stared over at the large pile of papers. He'd always hated paperwork, though Ianto had made it bearable, bribery had been the younger man's forte. Jack felt his chest tighten at the memory, a small sad smile pulling at his lips. Although he'd only just left Ianto, it didn't easy the sadness when he was back in the hub, surrounded by memories. It's what he hated most about being immortal; having to remember all those he lost. Sometimes he wished that when he came back time after time, his mind would be empty, that he'd remember nothing at all.

Gwen recognized that look; after all she's seen it often enough over the past two years. Glance over at the pile she swallowed as her thoughts were drawn to her fallen friends. Tosh, Owen, Ianto, they were all gone now and it hurt every day. Of course the sorrow she felt at their loss was only a shadow of what Jack must feel. He'd known them longer after all and he and Ianto had been together for over a year when the man had died. She couldn't even imagine losing Rhys. They'd had their ups and downs, she'd made more than her fair share of mistakes, but she loved Rhys and their son.

"Jack?" she pressed cautiously. "Do you want me to get Lois to…?"

She watched Jack swallow hard before he nodded.

Gwen left the man alone; it was the only thing to do on days like this. She walked out of the office, informed Lois there was a load of paper work waiting to be completed and sent to U.N.I.T Headquarters, then she went about her own work, stopping to talk with Andy while sending back concerned sympathetic looks to Jack as he sat trying to look busy.

An hour later the team was rushing though Cardiff pursuing a group of Silurian's.

TORCHWOOD

It was four months before Jack had enough downtime for his brain and body to start to get fidgety again. He actually begun to think that he'd finally put Ianto to rest but a night out with Hannah Johnson had proven that theory wrong. He'd needed to get out of the hub, away from the job, so had reluctantly agreed. He knew he was wallowing; it was what he did when he lost people he cared about. He wallowed, he drank and he made bad decisions that would come back to bite him in the ass thirty years later, leading to more deaths.

They'd been at a bar an hour, relaxing after another lengthy case involving giant maggots, talking and joking. Hannah had strolled off with the sole intention of hooking up with the first guy she found, leaving Jack alone. It didn't take him long to decide that he wasn't staying, he'd finish his pint then head back to the hub. That was when a cute young man named Gavin tried his luck. Jack smiled and did his best at flirted back, figuring it was time to get back in the saddle, that he had to get on with his life, find a new dance partner.

Everything was going splendidly; Jack flirted outrageously, flashing his famous smile, charmed the young man with his humour, it was all just perfect. It was when the guy had kissed him it all went wrong, out of nowhere he picked up that scent, that aftershave and that was it. His head began to spin, his heart hammered behind his ribs and he couldn't breathe. One face floated before his gaze and it wasn't Gavin's. Jack pulled away, backing up he left the bar without a word to Gavin or Hannah.

It took him twenty minutes to get back to the darkened hub, the only sound in the place was that of the humming of the Rift Manipulator. Jack looked around the empty subterranean base that had taken over a year to rebuild. A year Jack had spent travelling the universe, drinking himself into oblivion in a feign attempt to block out the past and the consequences of his actions. Losing Ianto and Steven had been the last straw for Captain Jack Harkness.

It wasn't until he'd seen the Doctor in the shadows of a bar that he'd known it was time to come home but not before he'd gotten his Vortex Manipulator mended, knowing the doctor would probably kill him but not caring, after all, who made him king of the universe?Jack had thought angrily. He didn't know whether he'd already been planning to start time-stalking Ianto Jones or whether that idea had hit him when he walked into Ianto's flat with its sad emptiness. It hadn't been long after that, that he'd taken that first trip.

Jack walked across the Hub and into his office, his heart still pounding in his chest, his head still spinning. He told himself that he should stay strong, that he'd gone four months without needing to make a trip. That he had to stop and move on with his life. He dropped down into his chair, his eyes flickering to the pile of messages Lois had clearly left for him. She was turning into quite the little secretary, though he never allowed himself to think of her as such, she was simply Lois Habiba, newest in a long line of Torchwood employees who just happened to answer the phones and do the filing when necessary.

Jack read the top one which was yet another message from Captain Daniels, who'd been stalking him for the past four months, insisting on speaking to him alone, which of course made Jack more determined not to speak to the man. There was nothing the man could possible need that Gwen couldn't handle; she was his trusted right hand after all.

Swiping the pile off the desk, Jack pulled open the top drawer. Under a pile of papers and a large blue diary, he pulled out a small black notebook, flicking it open to where a photograph bookmarked. Jack took a second to admire the picture of Ianto; it had been taken at Tosh's birthday the year she died. While the others, Tosh, Owen and Gwen were in it, it was Ianto alone who captured Jack attention. After a moment he place the image to the side and looked at the notebook, a list of dates and places that made up the all too short life of Ianto Jones.

TORCHWOOD

Friday August 18th 2007

London, England.

Jack walked into the nightclub, his eyes instantly scanning for a single face. He knew he was here, the diary said so. When Jack had started this, he'd made a list of places and dates, mapping out Ianto's life so that he knew just where and when he could find him. The information he gathered either from Ianto himself, who'd told him stories of his past, or from the man's diary which it turned out he'd kept a copy of in his flat.

Tonight's little outing was The Raven Club for one of Ianto's Torchwood work colleagues stag night. Jack stood filled once again with the desperate desire to see a pair of shining blue eyes and a warm secret smile. It didn't take Jack more than a minute to see Ianto stood with some friends across the club, smiling happily, laughing. - Alive. Jack's hands were shaking and his heart racing as he pushed his way towards the bar. He knew he wouldn't be able to get the younger man away from his friends, not yet at least, so he ordered a drink and waited.

Ianto seemed so very cheerful and content with his life that Jack felt that guilt rip though him again. Once again his mind told him to leave, only this time it was practically screaming it through his head. He turned his attention towards his drink and sighed, the screaming finally penetrating his stubbornness. This really wasn't fair, not so much to Ianto, Jack acknowledge, after all the man never remembered him but it wasn't fair on himself because as much as he savoured spending this time with Ianto, he would have to go back to his world, his life without Ianto. Jack threw back his drink and turned to leave. It end's now. he decided.

"Going so soon?"

Jack froze at the sound of those beautiful Welsh vowels. He glanced over his shoulder to meet those beautiful blue eyes, a loss for thought and breath. Not once in all the time he'd done this had Ianto ever approached him first.

"You only just got here." Ianto smiled warmly, meeting Jack gaze with confidence.

"I…" Jack for the first time in his life was lost for words.

Ianto leant on the bar smiling at Jack in that secretive way he'd always done while they worked. It held promise and affection, it always made Jack's chest tightened.

"Not really my kind of place." Jack finally said, his flirtation lopsided grip slipping naturally into place.

Ianto looked around at the people dancing and drinking. "Mine neither. - Only here because Lisa insisted." he fell silent and dropped his gaze into his pint.

Jack moved to join him, trying to ignore the spark of jealousy that shot through him at the mention of his girlfriend, Lisa Hallett. Forcing the memory of her and the painful chaos she'd cause from his mind, Jack lent against the bar, a little too close to the younger man.

"Changed your mind?" Ianto inquired with a gleam in his eye and a tone in his voice that Jack knew all too well.

"The night's looking up."

They started at each other for a few moments, just taking in the sight of one another and allowing the pressure to build between them. Finally Ianto inched closer still, his voice low when his spoke. "It's been a long time Jack. - Almost two years."

Jack was speechless for the second time in ten minutes. "W-What? - You remember me?" how was that possible? He'd retconed him. He always retconed him. Was he becoming immune to its effect? His mind was telling him to leave again. Panic was racing though his head.

Ianto blushed and looked down at the bar. "Of course I remember you." he swallowed hard, refusing to look at him. "You're pretty hard to forget." he added in a quiet voice. "And I don't make a habit of…you know… In fact I'd never done that before."

Jack couldn't help the arrogant smirk spreading across his face, even as his mind was on full alert. Oh, if his perfect office-boy knew just how many times they'd done that before. "Really, I would never have guessed, you must be a natural." he laughed as Ianto turned a darker shade of red.

Jack's body knocked into the younger man as a group of giggling women rushed the bar, pushing Jack out of the way. The air caught in both men's lungs as their bodies connected, unsurprisingly neither stepped back and Jack inhaled deeply, taking in a lungful of aftershave and that unique scent that was all Ianto.

"So?" Ianto breathed slowly.

"So?" Jack's brows furrowed though the smile remained fixed in place.

"Want to get out of here?" Ianto turned his blue lust blown gaze on the American.

"You sure?" his smile faltering at the sudden turn in conversation.

Ianto didn't say a word, didn't nod or smile, he just pushed himself away from the bar and walked over to retrieve his jacket from a corner booth, bid his friends goodbye before walking back past Jack, his head high.

Jack watched the whole scene play out with a racing heart and lust bursting through him. He didn't even wait a second before following after Ianto, no longer thinking about the fact that Ianto seemed immune to the Retcon pill or the consequences of it, all that was on his mind was being alone with Ianto.

A/N: Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think. You're reviews are my addiction. The Alley scene was slightly inspired by a picture I saw on DeviantART. art/No-Time-270407869