Author's Note: Katniss's road to recovery isn't exactly straight and narrow. ;)


Life From Ashes


I

It's three months after the Capitol fell, and Katniss still can't sleep without being plagued by the nightmares. She wakes up in a cold sweat, reminding herself that there are no Hunger Games, and there will never be more Hunger Games. President Snow is dead. He can't hurt you anymore, she reminds herself. And yet his eyes follow her when she shuts her own.

She lives with Peeta and Haymitch because she can't stand to be alone, not like this. They have an arrangement: Katniss hunts, Peeta bakes, Haymitch drinks. Katniss and Buttercup don't kill each other, but she would rather not let on that she is warming to the old, flea-bitten cat. Even though he's the only thing that holds her to Prim.

Prim. She is in her worst nightmares. Without her, Katniss feels empty. And so she screams and screams. She screams for Prim. She screams for Rue. She screams for Cinna. She screams for Finnick. Only Peeta ever comes. Even then, she never lets him touch her. It hurts too much.

Every time she looks at him, she thinks about the old Peeta and how they say Peeta can never be the same. She knows he knows what she's thinking, can see it written clearly in her gray eyes, and she hates herself for it. She wishes he would stay away from her, yet he keeps coming back. He understands. She wishes she could understand him, but all she could do was hold him when he has a flashback. Just like he holds her when she calls out at night.


II

It's six months after the Capitol fell, and citizens of District 12 are finally returning home. There are no more ashes, but the start of plants, and buildings, and roads. It is starting to look as it used to, except for one thing: There are no more Capitol peacekeepers patrolling the perimeter. They are finally free.

Among them is the new doctor, Dr. Tomlin, who has been visiting Katniss and Peeta once a week. He helps Peeta's flashbacks go away slowly, and Katniss can now see glimpses of the old Peeta. She doesn't hope for too much, though.

On one of the visits, when Peeta's grief is brought to the surface, he plucks a primrose from the garden and hands it to her. Sick with fury, because Peeta cannot know the extent if her loss, she throws it back in his face. In silent retaliation, he does not come to her that night, even though she yells and shouts and kicks.

The next morning, Katniss is up and out at the crack of dawn, fleeing to the woods. She does not stop until she gets to the rock by the lake. When she sits, all her memories of Gale and her father bubble up as one, and before she knows it, she's in tears. As the agony streaks through the hollows in her body, she thinks, not all the citizens of District 12 are free. Katniss is not free from her guilt, and where there is guilt, for her, there is pain.


III

It's nine months after the Capitol fell, and Peeta can't take it anymore. His scars have healed, and he wants Katniss's to do the same. Together, they open the Book at last. Inside, their dead loved ones are preserved, along with all the tributes and district members they knew of before death. They reach Finnick's page, scented with the smell of fish, before Peeta catches a light in Katniss's eyes. Annie, she says urgently. Then he remembers the baby.

The railroad is up and running, only it charges fees. Before Katniss has the chance to look for something to sell, Peeta whips out some of his Capitol money. "No, not that–" Katniss interjects, but Peeta cuts her off with a pleading look. She lets it go. They board the train to District Two, and, like that, they're off.

Peeta and Katniss arrive at District Two all too soon, Katniss thinks. She is not yet ready for the shock of seeing the ocean, uninhibited. It coldly reminds of the Arena. However, Peeta is right by her side, and somehow, the sight of him is a reassurance to her. She knew what she had to do. She has to do it for Finnick.

When they knock on Annie's door, she welcomes them in with open arms. The sea green-eyed girl has been replaced by a sharp woman. This Annie does not look unstable as she settles them down in her modest living room. Peeta's relaxed and is making gentle conversation, while Katniss's eyes roam around the room in search of the baby. Her curiosity is sated when Annie excuses herself to bring "him". Katniss and Peeta exchange glances.

She returns a minute later, eyes brimming with happiness, cradling a tiny bundle in her arms. Katniss approaches them cautiously with Peeta following closely. Standing in front of the proud mother, she can now make out blonde hair and green eyes in the boy's face. Katniss gasps and steps back. Peeta hand is suddenly at her elbow. His lips whisper, Katniss, what's wrong? in her ear. She turns to face him before replying, eyes wide, He looks just like his father.

They depart quickly after that.


IV

It's twelve months after the Capitol fell, and Gale comes to visit with his new wife. She is from District 2, where Gale now works. She is beautiful, with pale skin, raven hair, tawny eyes and ruby-red lips. Those lips smile at Katniss and Peeta. Katniss returns her smile, although it does not quite reach her eyes. Fortunately, Gale and Peeta's casual banter off sets the tension. It is quite interesting to Katniss, who watches the once rivals be friendly to each other.

People really do change, it seems. In a year, Gale's fire of hate has been reduced to a soft glow of warmth. Katniss, however, has have no fire left.

It's the dandelion's fault, really.


I should continue . . . yay or nay?