Miss. Ventsy (part two)

Howl held the letter as far away as he could from his nose and opened it slowly. Sophie stood beside him, curious about the letter. Markl stopped eating his chicken and scampered to Howl to read the letter, out aloud in his best womanlike voice:

Dear lovely Howl:

Oh, how I miss you, cutie-pie! It's been a long time since we met! Although our love has suffered many obstacles, my affection for you will never change, my cutie-whootie-poomie Howl! Since the war had ended and the witch is gone, I am safe now! Oh, I believe it must've hurt you a lot for us to separate, but you did it anyway to protect me… Howl! My love for you grows deeper each day I don't see you. Tomorrow I'll come by in the morning! See you then, my lovely- handsome little Howl!

Beloved, Ventsy

"No no no no no no...NO NO NO! It can't be! It just CAAAAAN'T BE TRUE!" Howl's whines went into a crescendo. He groaned and sunk in the dinner table chair. "Tell me this is all a HORRIBLE dream!" He exclaimed.

"Congratulations, old chap," Calcifer snickered. "Prepare for the kisses!"

"Why…How…How did she even FIND me?!" Howl face palmed himself. "Oh, just…How to put it?! I-I-I can't even speak properly now," Howl sat up and fiddled with his fork. "Botheration!" He sulked.

"I thought you're good with women," Sophie teased. "Why can't you charm her out of here? Oh, I forgot! She's a wizard's granddaughter."

"Stop it!" Howl put down his fork. "I'm exploited! L-like bacon in a sandwich! Like oranges squeezed for juice! Oh, the botheration! The pain! The agony! The desperation! I've fallen to an endless pit of doom! Save me, Sophie!"

"Stop your melodramatic whining! Just turn her down, would you?! Stop hiding in the covers like an infant and face your problems like a man." Sophie chided. "Because if you don't, she'll storm into the castle every morning and you'll have to hide in the covers forever."

"Please, Master Howl," Markl pleaded. "She's scary. I'm going to have nightmares every night if she comes EVERY day."

"And she'll blow this whole castle up with her MARVELOUS perfume. We'll all die of suffocation," Calcifer added mockingly.

"Argh…Ugh…Ugh… FINE!" Howl shouted. "Tomorrow's the end of the world. If I happen to die, burn me with Calcifer and throw my ashes in the waste." Howl announced tragically. He slumped in his chair. "But I need your help, Sophie."

"Of course I'll help you. I wouldn't want her to come by every day, wrecking the whole place up." Sophie went to her seat. "Alright! Let's have dinner."

〆 〆 〆

They all woke up early the next morning.

Everyone was anxious about the visit. Howl did his best to look filthy (which was quite hard), and Sophie did her best to look pretty. Markl stood on a stool and combed Sophie's hair with a brush while Sophie was sitting at the dinner table. Calcifer sensed the Market Chipping entrance to look out for her.

The waiting seemed endless. At last, Calcifer yelled, "Howl! She's five meters away. Prepare yourselves!"

Markl leaped down, took the thermometer and stuffed it into his mouth, and a towel to put onto his forehead. At last, he lay down on the sofa and covered himself with the quilt. He groaned and moaned, trying to act as sick as he could. A brilliant plan to stop Miss. Ventsy's horrid kisses.

Sophie shot her back up straight. She turned and saw Howl shaking. Howl was the most nervous of all. She gave him a glance to reassure him. Howl whispered, "Here goes nothing."

Howl walked slowly to the castle door. He cleared his throat and ruffled his raven hair.

The high-heels were clopping closer and closer. Then it came to a halt. Then there was a knock on the door.

Howl opened the door with a smile on his face. "Hello, Miss. Vensty!" He croaked unnaturally. "Please come in-"

"Oh, Howl! It's you! Oh, my heart is going to explode!" She shrieked as she threw herself at him. THUMP! Howl crashed to the floor, expression in pain. Miss. Ventsy gave him a big, wet kiss. People outside shot curious glances into the castle.

Sophie was feeling nauseous at the sight. She managed to say, "Umm…Miss. Ventsy, Howl's not quite comfortable lying down on the floor," Sophie said as she carefully closed the door. "Here, let me help you up-"

"Oh! Silly me! Sorry Howl! No thanks," Miss. Ventsy muttered as she stood up and patted the dust off her dress. "I can manage myself."

"Oh. I see." Sophie rolled her eyes as she helped Howl up. Howl turned and wiped his lips with his sleeves dreadfully. Immediately, he regained his composure and turned around to face Miss. Ventsy.

"Oh, my dear, poor little Markl!" she gasped. "Why are you lying on the sofa, so in pain?" She stomped to the sofa. "Let me give you my magical kisses, you will feel better-"

"NO!" Markl shrieked. Then he realized his lame act. With his best sick voice, he wheezed, "Uh, Misssss Ve-Ventsy, I…Got the flu, and…If you kiss…Kiss me, you will get…it…too,"Markl paused to cough. "I, wouldn't…Want you to get sick, oh…"

"Aww, my sweet little Markl, how thoughtful of you," Miss. Ventsy took out her handkerchief. She dabbed her eyes and blew her nose violently. "You cutie-pie, heal soon," Then she eyed disdainfully at Sophie. "You did a great job taking care of Markl."

Sophie wanted to strangle her, but she restrained herself unwillingly.

"Ah, forgive my rudeness," Howl held up Miss. Ventsy's gloved hand and kissed it. "Let me introduce: Sophie, this is Miss. Ventsy; Miss. Ventsy, this is Sophie, my wife-"

"Sister!" Miss. Ventsy butted in. "Right, right, I get it. Oh, my dear Howl," Miss. Ventsy held Howl's hands affectionately, "Do let us sit down! Get your sister to make us some tea. We have soooo much to talk about!" Miss. Ventsy batted her eyelashes furiously to Howl. Sophie thought it was disgusting.

"Eh…Oh…" Howl stuttered. He eyed Sophie nervously, mentally saying "I'm sorry but please help me!" Sophie sighed and went to the cupboard for some tea.

"Please take a seat, Miss. Ventsy," Howl pulled a chair out of the table. She sat down gracefully, constantly kissing Howl with her eyes. Howl felt his sweat trickle down his neck, and sat down at the opposite side of the table.

Howl smiled and gestured towards Miss. Ventsy. "You were saying…?"

"Howl! Let's get married!" Miss. Ventsy said in glee. "Besides, you love me so much, and everything's fine now. Our day has finally come," she giggled.

Markl fell off the sofa. Calcifer stuffed a laugh back into its fiery mouth. Sophie dropped her teabag.

"Ex-excuse me?" Howl asked surprisingly, his eyes widened.

"Aww, Howl, you're so cute! Don't be shy," Miss. Ventsy chuckled. "Hurry up! I'm waiting for you to say thosemagic words."

Realization dawned Howl. She wants me to propose to her…?

"Here's your tea!" Sophie dropped the tray on the table in haste. She pinched Howl hard on the back. "Now, Howl, I believe we have something to say to Miss. Ventsy."

Howl tried hard not to yelp. "Of…Of course, Sophie dear… Uh hmm," Howl cleared his throat. "Miss. Ventsy, I'm afraid I can't do that. You see, I'm married."

A long silence.

"What did you say…?" Miss. Ventsy asked in horror. "You're…You're married…? No… No, it can't be." Miss. Ventsy fell back to her chair. "You must be kidding!"

"No, I am not. Sophie here is my wife, not my sister." Howl said solemnly. "But thank you for coming such a long way. It's a pleasure to see you."

Miss. Ventsy dazed at Howl, not knowing what to say for a long time. Then in a split second, her daze turned into a piercing scorn.

"HOW COULD YOU?!" Miss. Ventsy cried. "You… You promised me…You…YOU LIAR! You never loved me! You played with my feelings!" Tears started to stream down her cheeks. "You DELINQUENT little brat!"

She stood up and glared at Sophie tearfully. "So it is you who stole Howl's heart from me. You shall pay, girl." She took steps closer to Sophie.

Howl tried to stop her, but he was frozen on the spot. Sophie tried to escape, but she couldn't move, either. Their bodies were out of their control.

Calcifer yelled in panic, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, HOWL?! DO SOMETHING!"

"No! Sophieeeee!" Markl jumped and tried to summon a fireball, but the spell malfunctioned and knocked down the chair near Miss. Ventsy. Then he froze.

Miss. Ventsy pinched Sophie's cheeks. "What delicate skin! What a pretty face!" Then she laid her hands onto Sophie's neck. "Things I don't have… I guess that's why you cheated. And that's what I'll take from her."

Howl watched in terror. Every cell in his body urged him to move… But he wouldn't budge.

Sophie's going to die if I don't do something now! Damn it! Why can't I move?! This is a really powerful spell…! But… Miss. Ventsy…?

"Hahaha! Finally got you now, eh?"

It was a man's voice, masculine and devious. And proud.

Sophie unfroze and fell into Howl's arms.

After a long, uncomfortable silence, Howl managed to stutter.

"Tri-Tri-Tristan…?"

Miss. Ventsy started to grow taller and bolder. Her blonde hair turned deep black. Her curls shrunk. Her dress glowed and morphed into a casual white shirt and black pants.

She had turned into a man, aged similar to Howl. He smiled broadly and held out his arms, signaling for a hug.

"Long time no see, Howl! How have you been?" The man stepped closer.

Howl stepped back. He stared at the man with contempt. "WHAT are you doing here? And how DARE you play a trick as LOWLY as that?!"

The man's smile turned into a frown. He pouted slightly. "Nawww, Howl, why so serious? It's our tradition! Don't you remember those times at college?"

Sophie, Markl and Calcifer looked at Howl for answers. Unfortunately, he was the most confused person in the room.

"W-What?" Howl raised his eyebrows.

"Come on! Where's all your infamous humor?" The man exclaimed like he was teaching a person to count. "April's fool, you old charmer!"

Author's note: It took me quite a while to write the ending. I wanted it to be unexpected!~ I hope it came out okay. Howl probably wants to beat the crap out of Tristan now :) Yup you he's an OC, I'll write more of him in my future oneshots Let's just say he's one of Howl's bros in college! My next oneshot would be a romantic Howl x Sophie fic, stay tuned~~ 3 3

SaturdayHotCoffee, Timber Wolf Of Purity: Thank you for your kind reviews, I'm sooooo happey you liked my stories! :) I'll keep on writing!~

Guest: Yes, I'll continue to practice my grammar! Thanks for the reviews ^^

Alexischic: Thank you for all the reviews! Yup, I might write a Sophie x Calcifer fic to make Howl jealous~~ What a good idea!

Anazerel: Thank you~~~ Yesss Markl is really fun to write ;) I'll write another Markl fic soon, hope you can read it then!

Jessi: Thank you Glad you liked my story!

James Birdsong: Thank you!~~~ I'm so happy~~