Ok, this has moved on to www . eatliver . com (obviously without the spaces) and I am not responsible for any mistakes. I am SO sorry for the late update but two of my stories got deleted and you know how they bar you from updating for a bit when that happens -_-
maddiismintxx: Thank you! You know, if you want a website that makes total fun of Twitlight and Bella Mary Sue Swan, just type in Frozen Apples and click on the wikia. Trust me, you won't regret it!
rainbowsmilkshakes and ponies: Haha! Exactly what I've always thought! We all have great minds to conquer the world!
gracefuldarkangel: Yeah, Meyer used 'chagrin' far too many times to count! In fact, she's used it so many times that the wikia I mentioned above made a whole page for it – also, she said the WEST coast of Brazil (cough no research cough).
Matt Guthrie: I completely agree! Did you know that Meyer got the idea from a dream about a sparkly vampire and a girl in a meadow in love? Eurgh. Some anti-Twilighters call it and the whole of Twilight Meyer's 'wet dream' and 'sex fantasy'. Lol.
madnessdownunder: Yep, I know that they're shape-changers, they're just insults to werewolves! And did you know that Meyer tried to explain the Meyerpires and Meyerwolves (hehe) through science – all that chromosome shit and that. EPIC FAIL. And also, it was written in first person POV so that mindless Twitards could imagine themselves in Bella's shoes and feel like Emoward loves them – that just proves that she has no personality XD Yeah, Tinkerbell's one of the many nicknames for Mr Disco Ball and if you go to the wikia and type 'Nicknames for Edward Cullen'…well, it's a dream come true.
HiddenDemigod: Heck yeah! But seriously, I read a funny story somewhere (can't remember what it is!) where these two guys try and find ways to kill Fairy Boy and they could only come up with Anti-Sparkle Lotion. What does that tell you about vampires having no flaws and being Mary Sues/Gary Stus? -_-
Guest: Well, not all Twitards are retarded – one of my best friends is a Twilight fan and she's pretty smart and actually knows basic English (and year 6 English, considering she is in year 6) and she loves mocking it, even though she's a fan. Most of them are retards though, I agree.
kingszey: I didn't hear a thing ^_^ And don't diss the French, I'm learning it! Anyway, yeah, I agree, I read somewhere that you get these girls reading these wonderful classics and everyone's all happy until it's revealed that they're only reading it because of Bella -_-
1. The boxsets!
'Modern, elligent, to the point', as opposed to keeping them in treasure chests. 'We believe in magic too much', huh? That's just one way of showing that JKR kept us hooked and how much we love the books! Personally, I'm still waiting for my Hogwarts letter… :P
2. Harry Potter copied Twilight
Um, excuse me? Since when did JKR rip off Sirius Black from Jacob Black? HP was written before Twilight, so if anything, Meyer copied JKR! Jacob and Sirius Black: they're both dogs, both with the name Black and both have motorbikes! Rip-off from Sirius, anyone? And Leah Clearwater totally ripped off Penelope Clearwater and Charlie Swan? Poor rip-off from Charlie Weasley!
3. The logos
'Very unique and recognisable cute swirrel on the g' as opposed to 'bulky and dumb. who ever drew this has a twitch that activately multiple times in a row during the time they formed the 'p' in 'Potter''
Well, I personally prefer lightning-shaped words (reference to Harry's scar, anyone? See, meaning!) as opposed to swirly girly 'g's which have nothing whatsoever to do with vampires or anything, except for dumb teenage girls!
4. next, the hidden meanings behind the tittles
'TWILIGHT – light means good, good means pure, pure means jesus, this title tells us to love his majesty, jesus Christ. I love this title and I love jesus too. ;)'
'Harry POTter' – first of all, the 'hairy' is sublimianally promoting bad hygiene. the POT is telling people to become potheads and stoner and smoke pot and marijuana. my cousin is a harry potter fan and my aunt found a bong in her room. PROOF!'
Um…I really can't think of anything to say…this has to be the most ridiculous thing I've heard. I don't smoke anything and I really can't think of a retort for that ridiculous 'hairy' thing.
The pot? Well, that's just your cousin, don't judge us all based on her! I am fiercely anti-drug and I've sworn that I'll never drink, smoke or take any drugs!
And what if a non-Christian or Catholic read Twilight? You can't force Jesus onto someone who doesn't believe!
5. LASTLY, the authers
'stephanie meyer is flawless and brings out the writer inside each of us. 1 time my english teacher told me my writing reminded her of steph's and I was sooo happy. i got a c on the story because it was because it was late :( (she's also REALLY pretty but don't worry, im not gay)'
'J.K. Rowling – Okay, first of all, I didnt even kno the writer of harry potter till 5 mins ago, i had to look her up. so OBVI she isnt rly tht famous. 2nd of all, what kind of name is J.K?! Just kidding? What are you just kidding about? "lol, i wrote this great series about wizards, JK it sucks"…you think she could get a BIT more creative, right? LOSER.'
Ok, I'm going to start off by saying something I never would usually say: FUCK OFF. SM is flawless: that reflects Bella's personality and who projects themselves into a story? JKR brings out the writer in me, not SM – if anything, SM shows me all the things I could ever do wrong ;) Story got a C coz it was late? Suuuuure, I believe you…
Um, JKR's name is on the front of the books, how could you not know who wrote them? She is more famous than SM will ever be! And don't you dare tarnish the name of J.K. Rowling! She can't choose her name (even though Kathleen isn't really her middle name).
Ok, here's a little rant:
And one last thing: SMeyer's grammar and research is APPALLING. She uses 'chagrin' just to make herself seem smart and we don't need to be reminded that Edward is so fucking hot every fucking page! Also, she says that Bella is plain looking, yet uses words like 'ivory-skinned' and 'soft, yet slender' to describe her. Yeah. Plain. Also, she has SIX guys after her, one of whom is her Biology teacher!
Besides, in an interview, Meyer stated exactly what she thought Bella looked like:
In my head, Bella is very fair-skinned, with long, straight, dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. Her face is heart-shaped—a wide forehead with a widow's peak, large, wide-spaced eyes, prominent cheekbones, and then a thin nose and a narrow jaw with a pointed chin. Her lips are a little out of proportion, a bit too full for her jaw line. Her eyebrows are darker than her hair and more straight than they are arched. She's five foot four inches tall, slender but not at all muscular, and weighs about 115 pounds. She has stubby fingernails because she has a nervous habit of biting them. And there's yourverydetailed description.
Now then, why don't you go look up a picture of Stephenie Meyer and see who that looks like, hmm?
I don't know who wrote this site but they are definitely on my bottom 10 list, including Meyer, Bella, Edward and Twilight in general.
Ok, this story's done and I have a favour to ask: my best friend, SlytherinGirl26, is writing a Marauder's Era story and she's got seventy seven views, yet only five reviews. Can you please read it and leave at least one review for her? She's losing her inspiration and I hate to see her so upset :(