What an actual update? Sorry it took so long, but work has been a bit crazy lately. I will try my best to have chapters up maybe every 2-3 weeks max. I am a bit rusty with this writing thing, so I apologize now for the numerous typos (not like that is new lol). Anyways I hope you enjoy :)

Santana reached her front door before turning to give a small wave to Rachel before she drove off. Santana quietly snuck in the door, careful not to wake her snoring father who was in the living room watching old late night reruns. She knew the man would have a million questions about her date, but she wasn't in the mood to answer any of them right now. Right now she wanted to bask in the perfection that was her night.

She quietly climbed the stairs and went into her room, softly closing the door. She sent a quick text to Rachel asking her to text her back when she got home safely. She dropped her phone and slowly walked to grab some clothes to sleep in and get ready for her nightly shower. She took her time, both waiting to see a reply from Rachel before she went and also not wanting to wash away the night quite yet. The feeling of Rachel's touch wasn't something Santana ever thought she would get used to.

Her thoughts were disturbed by the sound of her phone.

Hey just got in. Just barely escaped an awkward conversation with my dads-R

Luckily for me my dad was sound asleep and my mother is nowhere to be seen-S

Lucky you lol-R

Santana smiled.

I had an amazing time tonight, incase that wasn't clear lol-R

It was my pleasure :)-R

Oh was it now? What else was your pleasure? ;)-S

Are you trying to sext me right now Santana?-R

Santana chuckled, knowing full well Rachel was having a mini crisis on the other end of the text conversation. She just enjoyed making the girl squirm a little.

No I am not. Just the pleasure thing sounded a little wanky lol-S

Well mind out of the gutter, Lopez. You don't just get it that easily with me. I am still waiting to be wooed, just so you know. Then maybe you'll get some actual sexting ;)-R

Santana's mind went blank for a moment. She hadn't really expected Rachel to respond with that. The thought of getting to sext Rachel or do anything like that with Rachel sent the girl's head spinning.

Santana managed to compose her thoughts and bring herself out of her own daydreams of Rachel and focused on the other part of the last text Rachel had sent. She had been on cloud nine the whole night and almost forgot about the part where she needed to woo Rachel back. She needed to plan some gesture and some date greater than the one Rachel just gave her.

The panic started setting in. Santana threw the sleep clothes aside, instead grabbing a pair of sweats. She snuck back out of the house, careful again not to wake her father. She opted out of taking her car, deciding she needed a bit of a run to clear her head before she got to Puck's house.

Santana was standing in Puck's backyard, tossing rocks at his window as she had done more than a dozen times before.

"C'mon you idiot. I need you right now."

"Santana, again, what a pleasure it is to see you," Puck's mom voiced sarcastically.

This was Santana's worst nightmare coming true. It's no surprise that herself and Puck's mom did not have the best of relationships. Santana was usually careful about dodging her, usually only bothering Puck when she was asleep or away at one of her many social outings, which was really just code for chain smoking and getting drunk on a Tuesday afternoon. Apparently the odds were not in Santana's favour today.

"Are you going to stand there in silence or continue to break my window with those rocks? If I see one mark on that window I will be sure to send you the bill."

"I was hoping Puck was home," Santana mumbled out, feeling like a child who was getting scolded by her own mother.

"Well clearly Noah isn't home at the moment. Who knows where that boy sleeps, but if you find him along you long walk home you can tell him my house isn't a hotel to come and go as he pleases."

Santana stood silently, unaware of what her next words or move should be.

"Is that all for tonight or are you going to continue to use my window as target practice?"

"No…that was all. Sorry for bugging you."

Santana watched as Ms. Puckerman returned inside, closing the sliding door behind her. Santana could still feel her watchful eye, so she slid into the alleyway behind Puck's house.

"Ow what the fuck?" Puck barked

Santana had plowed right into the boy trying to get away.

"Where the hell have you been?" Santana yelled, punching Puck's arm.

"What is with all the hitting?" Puck asked, rubbing his now bruised arm. "Also can you keep it down? I don't want to wake my mom."

"Well you're in luck, Puckerman. She is wide-awake and waiting for your safe return. We just had a lovely chat."

"Shit she's up? There is no way I am going in that house. I won't make it out alive."

"Well I guess you're in luck then because I need your help."

Santana dragged Puck into her house, quietly past the living room before pulling him upstairs to her bedroom and closing the door swiftly behind them.

"Did you rob a bank or something? I can't go back to juvie."

"I need your help with teaching me how to play this," Santana gestured to the guitar in the corner of the room.

"You mean to tell me all of this panic is because you want to learn a few guitar chords? You sure you're okay?" Puck went to feel Santana's forehead.

Santana retreated, slapping his hand away. "I am fine. Okay, maybe not so fine."

Santana sat on her bed in defeat. Ever since she got home from her date with Rachel, she had been turning ideas over in her head at how she could possibly top the date Rachel had planned for them. Santana was good with her words, for the most part anyways. Sometimes they were a little harder to get out in front of Rachel without a little liquid courage. But for the most part the talking and the letters were beyond easy. It was this part that was hard. She never got to the part of planning romantic evenings and opening up about her feelings and her dreams. She wasn't used to being vulnerable like Rachel was. Tonight Rachel opened up a small part of herself to Santana, sharing a space and a piece of her that she kept hidden away from most people. It truly moved her. However, now she needed to find a way to return that feeling for Rachel.

"What are you stressing so much about?" Puck questioned, sitting next to Santana. He put a comforting hand on her knee.

"I just want everything to be perfect for her, you know? She is just going through so much and I don't want to fuck it up."

"Dude you're not fucking it up. Rachel is all over you. Why are you sweating it?"

"You weren't there. You wouldn't know. I just want to do everything I can for her. A lot has happened, and a lot is still happening. I'm not trying to push too much or rush too much. I want her to take her time and I want us to do this the right way at the right pace. But none of that is going to happen if I don't step up my game."

"Okay lesbro to bro here, you're not fucking it up. I mean, no offence, but it's not like you've been the best person in the world to her in the past."

Santana nearly winced at the thought. It's a part of her that she tries to push away and forget. She was so lost and scared back then. Using venomous words to everyone around her to build her walls so high that no one could penetrate them and see the real her. To know the secrets that laid behind them. She wasn't that person anymore, or at least she way trying to be better. She wanted to be able to let Rachel in.

"Rachel still digs you after all the crap you put her through. I don't think you have to try as hard as you think with her. Just be yourself, Lopez."

She had to hand it to him, maybe he was right. It didn't entirely help squash all of her worries, but it helped enough. She walked over and picked up the guitar and brought it over to Puck.

"Can you still teach me? Just in case I need it."

Puck smiled and patted the space next to him on the bed. "Let's do this."

The final bell of the day sounded and the halls of Mckinley began to empty out. Rachel stood at her locker, grabbing the few textbooks she would need for the night before closing her locker door. Santana appeared suddenly behind it.

"Hey."

"Oh my god, Santana. Don't scare me like that."

"Sorry, my bad," Santana chuckled a little at the small girl's expression. "I was wondering if maybe you were free later? Maybe we can continue that conversation from last night?" Santana raised her eyebrow suggestively.

"Yes I am free and no we can't continue that conversation," Rachel blushed. "You have to earn it, Lopez."

"Playing hard to get eh? It's okay I like the chase," Santana smirked.

"Maybe I like being chased," Rachel smiled, surprising Santana.

"Flirty Berry? I can definitely get used to this."

"Mind out of the gutter, Santana. What do you have planned?"

"It's a surprise. Are you free or not?"

"I think I can make some room for you in my schedule," Rachel smiled.

Rachel and Santana began making their way towards the choir room for glee rehearsals. They were so involved in their conversation they didn't feel the presence behind them. The two entered the chatty room before noticing a silence fall over the choir room. The two girls turned to see Finn standing in the doorway. The boy awkwardly shuffled to find a seat in the front of the room, avoiding everyone's stare and quiet whispers. The rest of the room slowly fumbled back into their own conversations.

Santana leaned over to Rachel, placing her hand gently on her arm.

"Hey are you okay?"

Santana could feel the smaller girl tense against her touch.

"Yeah I'm fine," Rachel mumbled out, pulling her arm away from Santana. The small starlet made her way towards the empty chair next to Kurt, leaving no room for Santana to sit next to her. Santana noticed the way Rachel was avoiding looking at her. It hurt Santana more than she thought it would.

Santana noticed Brittany patting the seat next to her, seeing the exchange between the two. Santana quietly made her way over to the blonde, shrugging off the concerned look on her face.

Mr. Shue entered the room, carrying stacks of sheet music.

"Who is ready for Rent?" he asked excitedly, not noting the tension in the room. His eyes then focused on Finn. "Finn! It's great to see you back in here. You're just in time for character assignments for the musical. Can I count on you to be my leading man?"

"No offense, Mr. Shue, but I don't think I am really in the mood for a musical right now. Can I just sit this one out?"

"C'mon Finn, you're our leading man. Plus we really need to get working on this thing. The production is only a few short weeks away and we need to be ready. I don't want to worry any of you, but I have some scouts coming from NYADA to watch the performance. This could really put glee club and Mckinley on the map. Also it could really set up some great futures for some of you."

Santana couldn't help but look at Rachel. She knew it had been the starlet's dream to go to that school, mostly from the extravagant dream board pinned in Rachel's locker. She wouldn't let anyone mess that up for her, no matter how she was feeling right now.

"There's like a million guys in this club, why can't you just pick one of them?"

"Look Finn everyone has been assigned their parts already. I am really counting on you to step up here. You can take some time and get to know the part a bit better, but I really need you."

"Mr, Shue I said-"

"Oh give it up Finnocence and just play the damn part," Santana voiced from the back of the room.

"No offense, Santana, but you're the last person I want to be talking to right now."

"Okay enough you two!" Mr. Shue shouted. "I think that's enough today. I am going to hand you your sheet music for your roles. I suggest you study it and come back with a fresh and open mind next time we see each other," Mr. Shue gave a pointed look to both Santana and Finn.

Mr. Shue handed the sheet music out to everyone in the club. Everyone started filtering out. Santana waited in her seat for a few extra moments, trying to grab Rachel's attention once again.

"Hey Rachel, are we still good for today?" Santana asked softly, almost as if she was afraid to hear the answer.

"Actually I totally forgot I had a ballet practice tonight. Maybe we can try another time?" Rachel answered, not making eye contact with Santana as she packed her bag before standing to leave.

"Yeah…okay," Santana answered.

She watched Rachel quickly leave the room, not once turning back. She noticed Finn and herself being the only ones left in the room. She saw him watch the whole exchange out of the corner of his eye. Not wanting to start another argument, Santana quickly grabbed her things and left.

Santana was feeling a wave of various emotions; sadness, anger, confusion. She knew that Rachel seeing Finn in that room couldn't have been easy, but she also wasn't prepared for Rachel to treat her that way. As if she meant nothing to her all of the sudden. She wanted to be respectful of Rachel's feelings, but she also couldn't ignore the way Rachel hurt her. Not even meeting her eyes.

Santana was making her way towards her car before stopping in her tracks. She needed to clear her head before going behind the wheel. Also she didn't feel like going home or running to Puck's place. She wasn't sure she wanted to see anyone right now. She quickly turned to head to her spot.

"I knew I'd find you here," Santana turned to see Brittany standing at the entrance door to the roof. "Is it in bad taste to say 'don't jump?'"

"You're hilarious, Britt," Santana said sarcastically.

"Mind if I take a seat?"

"Do I really have a choice?" Santana questioned.

"No, not really," Brittany smiled as she sat next to Santana on the roof.

"How did you know where to find me?"

"Well I know this may be hard to remember, but we did date once," Brittany joked. "And aside from all the times we'd sneak to the roof to make out, it is also where I'd usually find you after something went wrong or after one of our fights." Brittany gave Santana a soft smile.

"I'm not really in the talking mood right now, Britt."

"Well you have never been good with the whole talking and feelings thing, which is why I am here to help you out. Think of me as your emotional spirit guide."

"Seriously Brittany, I just kind of want to be alone."

"Well that's not an option. I saw what happened back there. That couldn't have been easy."

"It was sunshine and fucking rainbows. It was so good I decided to sit on this room to celebrate," Santana felt a little bad being so harsh towards Brittany. She knew the girl was only trying to help.

"I know you're hurt, San. But I can bet Rachel is hurting just as much somewhere too."

"She blew me off, Britt. She wouldn't even look at me because of that giant ogre being in the room."

"San she made one of the hardest decisions in her life deciding to leave Finn. You think him being here is hard for you, imagine how she is feeling right now."

"She didn't have to blow me off like that. Like these past few days meant nothing to her."

"She's scared, San. You might not think what she did was right, but what would you have done if you were in her shoes?"

"I don't know," Santana answered honestly. She was mad at how Rachel treated her in the choir room. It was hard not to feel that pain; to feel like she was thrown aside as soon as Finn returned. But if the tables were turned she isn't sure how should would have acted either. Her emotions were conflicted.

"You want to know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think that there is someone else you should be talking to right now."

"What if she blows me off again? I can't handle being rejected twice in one day, Britt. I mean, I just got her, you know? Things were going good and now they feel like they're already crumbling and hardly anything happened."

"The thing about getting someone, San, is making sure you try everything in your power to make sure you never let them go. No matter how hard things may get, if we all gave up when things got hard none of us would ever survive. You made a promise to be there for her no matter what, and where are you now? You're sulking on a rooftop. Go talk to your girl, San."

Santana had to admit the blonde was right. It may have hurt her ego, but she made a promise to be there for Rachel and to let her take her time with the whole Finn situation. She was just hoping it would have been a bit easier than this.

"You always know what to say, Britt-Britt. You really are a genius."

"I'm just the world's foremost expert in the field of Santana Lopez," Brittany joked.

Santana laughed, giving Brittany a hug before heading towards the emergency staircase to head towards her car.

Santana parked her car in front of the auditorium. She had drove all over Lima looking for where Rachel could be. She didn't even realize the most obvious place. Santana exited the car and headed towards the door.

"Nice to see you again, Santana."

"Likewise Tony."

"She's inside. Just call me at this number once you've sorted it out so I can lock up."

"Thanks Tony. You're a life saver."

Santana walked through the door and through the dark hallways. She quietly entered the auditorium to see Rachel sitting on the edge of the stage. Santana couldn't help but notice how small the starlet looked, how fragile. All she wanted to do was take the small girl in her arms and make the sadness go away. However she couldn't help the small pang of hurt she still felt.

She slowly made her way past the numerous aisles towards the stage.

"You know I nearly wasted an entire tank of gas trying to find you. Your dads are worried sick. I had to stop them from calling the police to look for you."

Rachel was startled, gasping slightly in surprise before taking the Latina in.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry anyone. I sent daddy a text not too long ago letting him know I was here and not to worry."

"You didn't feel the need to send me one of those texts?" the question came out sharper than she has intended, and she could see the way the words stung Rachel.

"Sorry I just…I didn't know what to say."

"Do you mind if I sit here?" Santana gestured to the space next to Rachel. The small girl shifted to give Santana room to hop up.

"I'm sorry for how I acted back there in the choir room," Rachel mumbled out.

"I can't deny it hurt a lot. Rachel if you're not ready for us, it's okay. I can keep waiting, but I won't be thrown aside like I am some dirty little secret."

"That wasn't my intention. And I am ready for us, I truly am. It's just…" her voice trailed off.

"It's what, Rachel?"

"It was easy with him being gone. I got to selfishly enjoy you and start to move on and I am so unbelievably happy with you, happier than I could have ever imagined. But walking in that choir room today and having him there," she paused. "This enormous wave of guilt just washed over me. Here I am feeling so happy and he just looked so miserable. I caused that. I never wanted to cause that."

"Rachel we knew this wasn't going to be easy."

"I know. Logically, I know. It still doesn't help knowing I could do that to a person; that I could cause so much pain. To top it all off I hurt you too. I never want to hurt you."

Santana could see the tears forming in Rachel's eyes. It hurt her to see Rachel like this. She gently raised her hand, wiping a tear away with her thumb. She let her hand linger a moment, her heart fluttering momentarily feeling Rachel lean into her touch.

"Rachel you shouldn't feel guilty for choosing to be happy."

"You saw him in there. How am I not supposed to feel guilty?"

"Rach I think the most selfish and guilty thing you could have done is held onto him when you didn't have feelings for him anymore. Letting him go is the most selfless and loving thing you could have done for him."

"I just don't know what I'm supposed to do?" Rachel began to cry softly.

Santana wanted to say the choice was obvious. The choice was to run off together into the sunset and forget about Finnocence all together. She was never his biggest fan, if that wasn't obvious from her words in the choir room. That was her being tame. She could have released her inner Snix on him, but she didn't. She had to consider Rachel and her feelings now, and knew there was no easy way or easy answer for this situation.

"If you need me to take a step back, if you need more time with this Rach, I can do that. It will be hard, but I would do that for you. I just want to be with you, Rachel, more than anything in the world. It will hurt like hell, but I will wait for you. However long you need," Santana paused, leaning in to give Rachel a soft kiss on the cheek. "The choice is yours" Santana whispered out, trying to hold back her own tears.

Santana began to stand when she felt Rachel pull her hand, gripping it tightly.

"Wait," she paused. "Will you stay with me?" Rachel whispered.

Santana gave a small smile. She sat back down next to Rachel, intertwining their fingers. The two enjoyed the silence of the empty auditorium, just gripping their hands tighter together.

Was it okay? lol. I have to say I completely forget what direction I was taking this story, so I guess this is an adventure for all of us to take together. Should Rachel and Finn talk? Should Rachel and Santana have some space? Or should Santana crank up the wooing factor? Any suggestions always appreciated to inspire the next chapter lol.

Thanks for reading and thank you to all the people who leave reviews or follow my story. It really means a lot!