Am I supposed to feel this way? There he stands, right next to me. It's a bit of luck that he is here, next to me. Today's the Reaping, the most dreaded day of the year. That is, for the fact that they don't go into an arena, for the Capitol. They don't have to attend their possible death sentence. There's silence in the square. I hear the nervous feet shuffling I hear every time. I feel so nervous, and that's hardly ever. Prim is still not old enough to go into the games, and I'm glad for that. But, I am. Right now, I'm hoping, like everyone else here, that I'm not chosen. Despite the nervousness I feel, I look up at the boy standing next to me, only for a slight second. He's looking straight ahead, the sun right on his face, the blond hair glistening, and his blue eyes concentrating on the ridiculous, chirpy woman named Effie Trinket. He's from the Seam, which it's unusual to be blond and be from the Seam, but does it really matter? I'm from the Seam also, and it doesn't make a difference. It doesn't change the fact that he doesn't know who I am, though I know almost everything about him.

I look around the square filled with desperate children and teens. I find his two younger siblings. His twelve year-old brother, Nate Mellark, has the same blue eyes, but dark brown hair. He's so young to be Reaped, and part of my worry is for him. I know that Peeta would probably volunteer for him, that'd mean Peeta would be a Tribute. I sigh and locate his fourteen year-old sister, Haden Mellark. She's very smart, quite attractive. She has the blond hair that belongs to Peeta and the dark gray eyes that belonged to Peeta's father before he died in the mine explosion. My father, thankfully, didn't die in the mine explosion, and it's the first time Peeta and I ever made any contact. I can remember the tragic day like it was yesterday, and it still haunts me.

I'm standing near the entrance to the mine, my knees are about to buckle and fail me, causing me to fall to the floor. Primrose, my little sister, is in my mother's arms as we desperately wait for him to come out like the rest of the fathers. Once I see his gray eyes, the dark brown hair, and the hurt look on his face, we all run to him and hug him. Tears run from my mother's eyes, Prim cries in my mother's arms, and I let those tears out like a waterfall. The elevator closes, revealing the last bunch of mineworkers. When we pull away, relieved and glad, my eyes go on to the other family. There's a tiny baby in the mother's arms, a young girl on her tiny feet, and a young boy I know kneeling, staring at the floor, with tears in his eyes. My heart fills with sorrow when the small little girl starts to cry, and she cries loud. She screams for her father, while the young boy pulls her into a hug, and I see his tears. The mother kneels down beside them, holding the bawling baby.

Father, knowing the family, walks over to them along with us. Mother helps the woman up and gives her a hug, feeling sympathetic. Our families hug until I meet the young boy, Peeta. His beautiful and ocean blue eyes look up at me. That's when my heart leaped, causing more tears to fall. He stands up, and without hesitation, and no thinking, I pull him into a hug. He doesn't pull away, but it feels so warm and nice in his embrace. I knew, by that point, I have feelings for this boy, and as I grew, they became so much stronger. So strong that I can name those feelings, feelings of Love.

Peeta hunts, which is illegal in Panem. District 12 has the least brutal acts from the Peacekeepers. In fact, some Peacekeepers buy the meat Peeta hunts. I help mother with medical needs along with Prim. I have grown quite fond of plants and the things they can do to save lives. Father keeps the edible and medical use plants all in a book. I read and study it from time to time. Father goes out hunting also. Sometimes I fear that he'd get into trouble. But, I let it go because I'm not that much of a coward. Father hunts with two Seam boys. One of them being Peeta, and the other being Gale. Those boys both support their families, and I admire them for that. They have both lost their fathers, and I don't know where I'd be if I had lost mine. I just don't love Peeta because he's attractive, I love him because he's kind, but fierce when it comes to his family's safety. The way he stood up for me at school one day, made me realize so much more about him. His friend Gale does the same too. Every time I get picked on, one of them is always there. I always thank them, but they just nod and leave. They're serious, and some girls squeal over them because of that truth. The day Peeta stood up for me was a day I don't ever forget.

He was wearing a black t-shirt with dark, faded pants. The girls we're surrounding me outside, occasionally pulling my hair and saying how disgusting I am. I tried walking away, but they'd just pull me back. I wasn't going to cry, I never do. I usually didn't care what they said about me, but Peeta was staring from a distance, he was staring in disgust. I thought he must think the same, but when he stood up from the bench he was on, and walked my way, I thought I might just die. My tears were on the verge of falling like a river. He pushed some of the girls away and he said, fiercely, "Would you leave her alone." The girls stopped and looked up at him. They were all staring at his body, his face, or anything that was on him. Some girls squealed and whispered things about him. He rolls his eyes and he pulled me away from the girls by my arm. His touch was gentle and it looked as if he was trying hard not to hurt me. That day, was yet another day when my heart skipped a beat, and I knew I was starting to fall in love with him.

Gale, on the other hand, appeared when some boys were messing with me. That time, I was feeling afraid by the way they were touching me. They'd ask me if I was available one night or the other for "fun". Gale pushed them forcefully and grabbed me quickly. As we walked, he turned around and yelled at the startled boys, "Back off!"

At that moment, all I managed to say, barely over a whisper, is, "Thank you."

"It's nothing," he growled, and with that, he walked away without another word.

I look around for Gale. He stands in the eighteen year-old section. This is his last year, and then, it's the mines. His large figure shows that he's angry. He always is. My hands tremble as Effie exclaims, "Welcome, welcome, and Happy 74th Hunger Games!" This year, she's wearing a blue wig, blue dress, and blue makeup. I've never been so disgusted by the color until my eyes landed on this woman. The blue in Peeta's eyes, however, is far from disgusting.

Without meaning it, I move closer to Peeta. His hands touch mine briefly because we're so close. He turns his head to look down at me, and then he looks at my trembling hands. I close my eyes for a brief moment and I feel someone grab my hand. Immediately I feel warmth engulf me. It feels as if it were electric when his skin touches mine. I hate how he makes me this way, but I can't stop the feeling. This boy, will forever be in my heart, even when I promised myself I would never fall in love, but look at me now. My cheeks turn a slight pink. I look down at our entwined fingers. Then, I force my eyes to look at him, to find his gorgeous blue eyes staring at me. He leans over and whispers in my ear, "It's okay."

Everything is okay when you're near me, I think to myself. Peeta squeezes my hand comfortingly. I slightly smile and take a deep breath. I whisper back, "Thanks." He's so kind. I wish I can tell him how I feel, but he doesn't even think of me that way. I'm sure he only held my hand because he felt like it'd help me calm down, he's just being kind. He sure doesn't know how much it means to me that'd he hold my hand just to calm me down. He doesn't know anything…

"Ladies first!" Effie chirps, walking towards the glass ball that holds the slips of thousands of girls in District 12. And only, and only one of thousands go in there that say my name. Father won't let me sign up for tesserae . I'm suddenly worrying about Peeta. His name goes in there a lot more than twice. I take another deep breath as Effie reads the name.

"Katniss Everdeen!"

My heart sinks. Peeta looks down at me in horror. He holds my hand so tight, that it stops my blood from circulating. My heart beats an irregular rhythm, filling me with despair. Everyone turns to face me. I hear my father call my name a couple of times, and that's when he gets into a fight with a Peacekeeper. My head spins and I feel someone let go of my hand, Peeta. I dread the moment he does. I step out of the sixteen year-old section and walk up the stage, very, very slowly. Effie beckons me to move quicker, and as I make it to the stage, Effie says, "Now, for our boy tribute."

My heart aches as I think about Peeta. I'll die the moment she says his name. But it's not his name. It's someone else's. The name is Nate Mellark. My eyes widen and it's so quiet in the square that you could hear a pin drop. The world seems to stop everything. The small young boy steps out of the twelve year-old section. That's when I hear him yell, "Nate! NO, Nate!" He pushes through the Peacekeepers and then the words slip right out of his mouth. I stare at the scene in horror. "I volunteer! I volunteer as Tribute!"

Everyone gasps as Peeta makes his way to Nate, now free from the Peacekeepers hold. Peeta grabs his shoulders and says something. Nate yells and grabs onto Peeta's leg. "No, Peeta! You can't." But, Gale picks Nate from the ground and he tears him away. Peeta makes his way up the stage, standing tall, and trying to keep the sorrowful look on his face. The Peacekeepers step away from Peeta's side when Peeta steps onto the stage. I look at him in horror. The boy I've loved for so long is now in the worst event of the year with me. And the worst part is, I'll need to kill him. No, I can't kill him. But, before I go into that arena, he needs to know how I feel about him. Because, I'm not going to get out of the arena. He is.

"And what is your name?" Effie asks, somewhat excitedly.

"Peeta Mellark," he replies, into the microphone.

"Well then, Ladies and Gentlemen, our tributes for the 74th Hunger Games!" Nobody moves, not even one sound. That causes me to tear up. I look around to find my mother trying to silence Prim who weeps. This is what my life has come to. And now I understand why Gale hates the Capitol so much. I now know why he wants nothing to do with them. Because the Capitol takes things from you. And in this case, the Capitol took the only boy I have ever loved away from me.

We are rushed into the Justice Building. My family comes to visit me, making me break into tears. I'm not crying because I'm afraid, I'm crying because I'm afraid and because this will be the last time I see them. Before the Peacekeepers pull them away, father says, "Don't give up sweetie, there's a solution to every problem, think."

What does he mean by that? Is he telling me that there's a way for both of us to come home? No, that's impossible and unreasonable. Father knew how I feel about Peeta. Once I told him, he laughed and said that I'm smart to fall for someone like Peeta, not he jerks. I smiled to myself that day I told him. He knows both Peeta and Gale very well. In fact, Peeta was like the son father never had. And he acted as a father to Peeta. I sigh as a Peacekeeper calls my name and escorts me to a car where Peeta and Effie are already in. He looks up once I get in. His eyes are filled with sorrow. That look on his face only makes me want to hug him. Why can't I ever be truthful and tell him? Maybe I am that coward that I try to tell myself I'm not. I sit next to him in the car. I've never rode in one before, and it makes my stomach churn. Peeta seems to notice my discomfort, and he holds my hand. Right away I feel the electric movement coarse through my body. I look up at him and he tightens his grip on my hand. I realize he's looking a little green too.

When we get to the train station, there's cameras and reporters everywhere. I walk and stare at the floor, not realizing how I'm keeping myself from tearing up. Then I realize that we are still holding hands. The TV screens placed around the station are showing images of our hands together. I know the Capitol will be saying something about this later. But I don't focus on that, I focus on the fact that this is the last time I'll see District 12. But it helps me stand tall as we climb on the train because I know Peeta will be coming back, I know that for sure.

After we eat dinner, our mentor, Haymitch Abernathy, the drunkard, shows up with a bottle of wine in his hands. The first thing that hits my nose is the smell of vile liquor. Effie rolls her eyes as he sits down on the dining table and starts to eat. She mumbles something about showing up on time or he'll ruin everything in the schedule. We sit on a couch to see the replays for the other districts. From District 1, 2, and four are large. Figures, they're Careers. From the rest of them, they're fairly large, but a small little girl is Reaped from District 11. My heart sinks because she's so small, and she reminds me of Prim. While we wait for our Reaping, I realize I'm really close to Peeta. For some reason, I always end up close to him. It doesn't bother me, but I'm sure it bothers him. I slowly move away from him while he watches the TV. I hope he doesn't notice because I don't want him to think that I don't like him. But, while he watches the TV, a huge grin appears on his face. Then, he turns his head to look at me. The look on his face makes me blush. I sink in my seat, winding up very close to him again. I guess he found it funny, at least he's not offended. When I least expect it, he leans in and whispers in my ear, with the grin still plastered on his face, "Isn't it strange how you end up so close to me?"

I look up at him, wondering what he's thinking. Does he think I'm weird? The redness and heat on my cheeks get more furious. I see him slightly smile as he turns away and looks up at the TV. This had to be one of the first times I've seen Peeta smile so visibly. And it makes me smile to realize that I might have put that smile on his face despite our situation. Even if it means that I made a complete fool of myself in front of him. They play our Reaping, and they zoom in after my call name is called up. Our hands holding are clearly visible, and the way we looked up at each other seems so…loving. It's clear to me that the way I looked up at him and by the way that I blushed when he held my hand, I love him. Anyone can notice that, but the way he looked at me seems so similar. Maybe I'm crazy, but the way he looked down at me seems a little similar. I notice he kept glancing at me. I ignore that idea. There's no way Peeta could actually feel the same way. They play the rest and the way to the station. How we held hands again at the station. Then, Claudius Templesmith and Caesar Flickerman pop up on the screen, commenting on our Reaping.

"Wow, those two seem pretty close, right Caesar?" Claudius says, a bit excited.

"I must say so, they seem a lot more than just friends," Caesar adds.

After that, we head to our rooms. I lay on the soft bed and look up at the ceiling. I sigh as I remember my surroundings and who I'm with. I'm in the 74th Hunger Games, and I'm not making it back home. But, he is. The boy I've loved for so long is coming back home, without me. I'm sure of it because I'll make sure that is what happens.

That will happen.

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