Note: This is in response to a prompt from the Kaidan thread on the BSN from Lady. It's not 100% what she suggested - but here's hoping she still likes it. As always, I welcome reviews and criticism. Can't get better if you don't tell me what I'm doing wrong!


"Kaidan." It was a single word, but he could hear the concern in the turian's normally stoic voice. He glanced back over his shoulder, studying the scarred visage of the alien as the other peered out from around his perch, one hand gripping the sniper rifle as the other gripped the jagged edges of his rocky barricade. When the major didn't answer, only looked away, Garrus tried again. "Kaidan, look at it. I don't want to believe any more than you do – but how? How could she survive that?"

"We did." His voice was huskier than usual, hoarse from the smoke and dust that choked the battlefield and hung in ominous clouds above the fires sparked by Harbinger's angry beams. "If we survived it, she had to." He ignored the turian's shaking head as he lifted his own, focusing on the steady yellow lights so far above him – the Reaper's unblinking gaze, just waiting for them to move so it could blast them to oblivion as it had so many more before them. "If you want to go back, go. I've got to find her, Garrus."

Snorting, the turian shifted his grip slightly, easing the rifle onto his back as he stared out over the mangled corpses and torn streets. "I figure, what's a little more crazy in this whole mess?" Alenko's tension eased and he once more swung his gaze out over the ruined avenue. He knew his companion's reasons as well as his own: after all, she was Garrus's best friend, and he had never abandoned her before; if there was even a chance now…

Kaidan glanced up at Harbinger, brow furrowed as he stared at the Reaper's imposing form; its silent guardian stance, its unblinking yellow eyes... Something isn't right. This isn't… Still, the leviathan did seem a trifle distracted – perhaps now… "C'mon, Vakarian, we have to try." Without waiting for his companion, the major dashed off, sliding from rubble heap to rubble heap, using the guts of the torn battlefield as cover as he made his way towards the last spot she'd been seen. Garrus – Shouldn't Garrus be here? He seemed to remember… what?

Abruptly, Alenko stopped mid-stride, thrusting out a hand – he felt another vague presence, though he couldn't quite see Garrus; he is here, I know he is, where...? He (we?) stood, frozen in tableau, staring forward and listening to the steady, rhythmic tap of rock on rock. The time for stealth had passed and even as the biotic glow surrounding the major evaporated, he (we?) sprinted in the direction of the sound, heart (hearts?) pounding in mingled fear and hope.

It didn't feel right; not with Harbinger lurking above him (us?), staring forward with those frozen yellow eyes, not even caring about the major as he (we?) made his (our?) way towards the source of the sound. Even the flicker of biotics as Kaidan threw a bubble around the rock from whence the sound game didn't draw the Reaper's attention, and the major couldn't worry about detection as he threw himself against the slab of concrete, body and biotics combining to send it spinning away, releasing its captive beneath.

"Shepard." This was right! Here; he (they?) had found her here – yes… but… He reached in to grab at the body laying prone beneath the rubble; asleep? Unconscious? But the noise… He couldn't think, his thoughts fragmenting against the mingled panic and joy that bubbled through him. Frantically, he dug at the rubble still pinning her body down, clearing away most of the rocks responsible for imprisoning her before he reached out again, touching one battered, bruised cheek. "Shepard?"

He saw her eyelids stir and held his breath as they slowly slid open, his heart rising to new levels of elation. She's alive! She's alive, I knew she was… Glass green eyes stared up at him, a little dazed. Her lips parted as she panted, and one hand reached up to grip his arm with surprising strength, pulling him closer. He leaned forward – and her eyes darkened, murky circles and circuits rising from the depths as her skin deepened from its normal dusky tones to a cloudy blue, traced through with silver wires. Even as he struggled against her grasp, horrified, her lips parted again in a grotesque parody of a smile, showing broken, jagged teeth. He couldn't break free as she lunged for his throat –


Kaidan's strangled gasp shattered the air as his eyes snapped open into the familiar, living darkness. There was a faint glow from the aquarium; otherwise, the room was still. Drawing in a deep breath, he held it for several moments, listening to it buzz in his ears before exhaling slowly. At his side, he could feel her warm, comforting presence, and struggled to control himself. He didn't dare wake her; she needed her sleep, especially now…

"Kaidan?"

Damn. As she rolled towards him, he sank into the pillow, reaching up to cover the hand that skimmed over his bare chest with his own. "It's alright," he said with some semblance of calm, knowing she could feel the pounding of his heart in his breast. "Just a little nightmare. Go back to sleep." Rather than responding, she slid her hand up to his cheek, and he felt her lips press against his shoulder. He closed his eyes and rolled slightly in her direction, until his body rested lightly against her own.

"It was bad," she stated softly, fingers stroking along the lines of his face before skimming up into his air, and he felt her shift upwards, felt her mouth skim over his jaw before she laid her head upon his shoulder. "Damn it. I never should have told you about what happened when… When I was out. I'm sorry, Kaidan." He could hear the genuine distress in her voice and skimmed his fingers along her arm, soothing her much as she was doing with him.

"I'm glad you did," he murmured, opening his eyes to gaze up at the dark ceiling overhead. "I just… worry." She was silent for a moment, then she withdrew her arm. He could feel her sitting up and moving away, and her absence from his side was a tangible thing. There was a sharp snick, then a light flared – she'd turned on one of the bedside lamps. He turned towards her just as she rolled back to his side and his arms and hers tangled together as they met in mutual embrace. "You should sleep," he protested, even as he pressed his lips to her forehead. "You need all the rest you can get."

"I sleep enough," came the muffled retort as she shifted her body, curving in to him as close as she could come. "Between you and Anderson, I would spend all day in bed. I'm not made of glass, I won't break, Kaidan." He skimmed a hand between them, over the curve of her stomach, and she dropped her own fingers to wrap lightly around his own. "I'm more worried about you – you've been working so hard; too hard, you're having more nightmares lately. It's over. We won."

He sighed softly, feeling the pillow press against his cheek as he gazed at her face, silhouetted by the light behind her. He could feel the concern radiating from her, could tell that she was watching him as closely as he watched her. "I know. But there's still so much to do – a world to rebuild. Hell, a galaxy to rebuild. I can't just leave it to everyone else – I have a duty."

"I know." He winced at the edge in her voice, made a grab for her hand as she pulled it away. "We both do. Just…" She trailed off, and he could see her bite her lip. "I hate seeing you so worn down, Kaidan. Tell me what I can do, to help keep the nightmares away." He could hear the frustration in her voice; even more, he could feel the guilt, and he knew its source. "Let me do something to help you – to help somebody," she added, rather tetchily.

He flung an arm over her hip, cupping his hand against her rear and pulling her closer. The distended curve of her belly rested against his own and her head lay upon his shoulder. He slid his hand along the curve of her waist and up over her rounded stomach, fingers tracing light patterns against her skin. "You are," he murmured huskily, eyes sliding shut as he inhaled her familiar fragrance; oil and electronics, with just the faintest hint of rose from her favored soap. "You're doing the most important thing you have ever done in your life."

He could feel her body vibrate slightly from her soft chuckle, then felt her hand come to cover his own, nudging it down slightly. The skin of her abdomen bulged briefly against his hand; he swore he could almost feel the individual toes before it settled once more. "You just remember that in the years to come, Alenko," she responded wryly, "when our ears are filled with 'Whyyyy?' and we're too tired to do what got us to this point in the first place."

He was startled into a laugh and slid his hand up once more, over belly and breast, along her throat until he could grip her chin. He twisted around to press a light kiss to her mouth – then another as he felt her respond. "Alenko," he echoed, and heard her soft chuckle, "you know full well that no matter how much this child takes after you, we'll never be too tired for that." When she snickered again, he covered her mouth with his own and set about to prove himself with deeds rather than words – the nightmare banished from his mind as they made happier memories to take its place.