In The End

Things aren't the way they were before,
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore,
Not that you knew me back then but it all comes back to me,
In the end...
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart

What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when..."

- "In The End", Linkin Park

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Things have changed," the human teen mumbled, avoiding the disguised eyes of the Irken before him.

"Nothings changed!" The Irken argued. "We're still friends... aren't we?"

I tried so hard,
and got so far...
But in the end,
it doesn't even matter...

There was no answer.

"...Dib?"

"We could never be friends," Dib answered finally. "Not anymore, anyway..."

Under his wig, Zim's antenna pressed down flat against his head in sadness. "W-what about all the fun we had? Don't you remember? The pranks we played on our teachers? The video games?"

I had to fall to lose it all,
But in the end,
it doesn't even matter...

"You're an alien," Dib answered matter-of-factly. "I'm a human. We're two completely different people..." he turned, ready to walk away.

"B-but, Dib..."

I've put my trust in you...

"...Sorry, Zim," the teenage boy said quietly, before walking away, leaving Zim alone in front of his house.

Pushed as far as I can go...

Zim watched his only other friend go, yet another in a long line of people who gave up on him. Ever since he found out a few years back that his mission was a lie, Zim and Dib called their battle off with a truce. He wasn't sure when it happened, but suddenly the human boy and the alien boy became close friends. Best friends, Zim would admit, which was strange because he never thought Dib would even give him a chance to call it truce at all.

Essentially, Dib helped Zim throughout the years. The Irken would still have horrible onslaughts of depression from what happened when his Tallest called him a 'worthless defect' and that his mission, everything he worked hard for in life, was nothing more than a lie; a cruel joke. The pain never really went away, but Zim at least had a friend there for him at Skool, especially since they both dealt with the bullying at Skool together, rather than alone. They helped each other through the hard times where the pain would be so unbearable that living itself became a goal to complete.

And now Dib had given up on him.

For all this,
There's only one thing you should know...

They were in High Skool now... Juniors to be exact. Zim wasn't sure when or how their close friendship began to fall apart, but now when he looked back at the years before when High Skool first started, the signs had been there. Dib has been growing apart, and Zim was desperate to make sure that their friendship would stay intact.

Alas, he failed.

His attempts were fruitless, or maybe there was nothing to do to prevent the upcoming doom of their friendship to begin with.

And now he was alone.

Breathing hard, Zim raced back into his house, slamming the door shut behind him. He pressed his back against the door, feeling his body shake. That horrible ache inside his heart was coming yet again, he could feel it. Only when it did come, it was far worse than he expected, and it hadn't been as bad since when the Tallest told him the truth.

All was quiet in the house. There was no little robot in the kitchen making waffles, or watching the Angry Monkey show. No, that taco-and-piggy-loving robot had gone out to buy waffle batter and tacos. He wouldn't be home for a while.

Zim buried his face in his hands, his breathing uneven. All the pain, the agony and pure torture that loneliness brought stabbed him hard, bringing tears to his eyes as the voices came back again, as they usually did when he was upset. They taunted him, like always.

"…You're a worthless little defect..."

"...Never amount to anything..."

"...Deserve to die...!"

"...What a freak...!"

"...Loser...!"

"...Pathetic..."

The last one was to much to bare, causing hard sobs to escape him as the voice spoke.

"...We could never be friends..."

I've put my trust in you!

He squeezed his eyes shut, tears streaming down his face in warm, salty shallow rivers, trying to rid his head of the voices.

"...We're two completely different people..."

"No we weren't," the Irken cried out, "We were both the same! We were both suffering! We both suffered and we gave each other comfort and hope when no one else would! Don't you remember?"

Pushed as far as I can go!

No answer.

"You said you'd never give up on me," Zim said quietly, lips trembling as the pain ripped through his chest again. "But you did. Everyone always does..."

"...Hey, as long as you're there for me, I'll be there for you. What are friends for...?"

For all this,
There's only one thing you should know...

"But you did give up on me!" Zim shouted to the ceiling, at the voice of Dib that continued speaking lies to him in his head. "You lied to me!"

"...I'll help you through this..."

"LIAR!" Zim shrieked, slamming his fists into the floor in rage. "YOU'RE LYING!"

I tried so hard,
and got so far...

"...I'll always be there for you, because that's what friends do..."

That was the last straw. Through the tears in his eyes, Zim stood up quickly, clawing at the door behind him until his fingers bled, slamming his fists into the walls and the door until his knuckles bled... And he screamed so loudly that he nearly lost his voice doing so. He screamed to silence the voices in his head. The voices always there to torture him when in agony.

But in the end,
it doesn't even matter...

He finally stopped after a few minutes, resting against the wall, breathing heavily as the last tears steamed down his cheeks. His hands and throat ached but he didn't care, for nothing ached more than his heart.

I had to fall,
to lose it all...

The thought of living anymore was to much to bare. To calm himself, he pictured his blood shed over the floor, the lone rope noose around his neck... He wasn't suicidal in the means of he's tried to commit suicide, but in such onslaughts of his depression such as that moment, the thought would occur to him. He'd picture it, dream of it to make the pain go away. Living meant pain and suffering, while death meant peace and ever lasting happiness. But was there really peace in the next life, or were those just stories to reassure people and ready them for the day they died? He wasn't sure, but death felt more comforting than living at the moment.

But in the end,
it doesn't even matter...

But a new voice entered his mind, putting an end to such horrifying yet satisfying thoughts:

"...Master...?"

Zim opened his eyes.

"...I'm gonna sing the doom song now...!"

He stared at the green blood on his hands.

"...I love you, Master, and so does piggy...!"

The scratches and dents on the door before him became much more clear.

"...Can I have the moooon? I heard it's made of cheese! I LIKE CHEESE...!"

Though that little SIR unit had his usually tangents of randomness and screaming that would annoy Zim and hive him headaches, Gir did mean well. He was like a little brother of sorts to Zim, and ending his life... How would Gir handle that? That would be the biggest betrayal to Gir if Zim left him alone like that. Though there had been Dib in the past, now there was Gir. And Zim realized, as he backed away from the door he nearly dismantled with his own hands in rage, that there was always Gir. Gir was loyal and would never leave Zim, even when Zim would snap at him, which he regretted now when he looked back and remembered.

Despite the pain in his chest which slowly ebbed away, Zim smiled through his tears.

I never was alone after all

Dib might have given up on Zim, but Gir would never give up on Zim, no matter what. Though there was no longer Dib, there would always be Gir, who looked up and adored Zim like an older brother. That insane-yet-loving little robot would always be there for him.

And Zim took solace in that.

A/N: It felt REALLY good to write this. Because I have been horribly depressed lately to the point where living seems useless... And writing sad yet bittersweet stories helps the pain, even if only just a little bit. This is based on my ex-best friend from middle school, who stabbed me in the back so hard that I still had trouble trusting people. Though that isn't the reason why I'm depressed, I just am...

Anyway, this is also AU. Zim and Dib become friends after the Tallest tell Zim his mission was a lie and that he's a defect. I know it's an overused idea, but meh. Anyway, so in High Skool, Zim and Dib's friendship begins to fall apart, and Zim tries to keep it together until Dib finally tells him he doesn't want to be friends anymore... And... Yeah. That happened with me and my ex best friend in middle school, only there was much more drama and backstabbing (on her part). Hell her mom told the moms of our other friends that I was a bad kid and I wasn't even allowed to go to their houses anymore for sleepiness or birthday parties... And my ex best friend did nothing to help to begin with anyway.

BTW, I'm a HUGE ZADF fan, so don't take this seriously! It just fit the idea... And hell no, this is NOT A ZADR FIC. I will hunt you down and replace your brain with piggies if you even think this is a ZADR fic.

Anyway, enjoy. Please review if you can.