Solo

If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own?

The boat listed again and Lilly's stomach churned, threatening to spill the contents of her supper onto the floor of her small cabin. The packet of dried food that she had picked miserably away at mere hours before was tumble-turning dangerously in her gut and coming ever closer to finding release in the cramped space below deck.

Beads of sweat had gathered on her brow and she reached up to wipe them away, her hand completing the action in pushing back the loose, dirty blonde hair from her forehead. She was tired, cold, and her entire body ached with exhaustion, but she had felt more alive in those last three weeks than she had in years.

Lilly stretched her legs out on the narrow bunk, gradually unfurling from the foetal position she had adopted for warmth and to comfort her disgruntled belly. However her feet were soon overhanging the end of the bed and that wasn't proving comfortable either. Sighing, Lilly hitched her legs back towards her torso only to groan when her calf muscles spasmed in anguish, coiling mercilessly in her lower legs.

"You need to relax. And breathe."Miley's voice soothed in her ear.

Lilly inhaled deeply and felt the pressure in her legs ease as she stretched them out again.

"Why can't you sleep?" Miley asked.

"Because I should be there by now."

"You will get there. I promise."

"That's easy for you to say."

"It's easy because I have absolute faith in you."

"I know."

Lilly turned over on the bunk only to be faced with the other half of her pillow. Sighing, she took that as a sign that she wasn't likely to encounter any further sleep and slid her legs from the bed, her feet seeking her deck shoes.

The boat lurched again and Lilly braced herself against a cupboard just in time to stop herself from flying to the other side of the cabin. Stumbling around in the half-light of the dimly lit quarters, Lilly managed to gather up her warm layers and her thick, waterproof jacket.

Using the work surfaces and several useful handholds, Lilly was able to make her way towards the flight of steps to the deck without suffering any further accidents. She couldn't quite count the amount of bruises she had gathered up to this point on her voyage. She was also glad that she had only allowed for one mirror on the entire yacht because to be regularly faced with her weather-beaten and salt creased features might have proved too much.

Lilly zipped the jacket all the way up to her chin whilst ascending to the upper deck. The water was rough and the waves were pounding the hull of her yacht, dragging the boat up before slamming it down again in a cruel repetition.

As Lilly opened the door onto the outside world, her hair was whipped back by the cold sting of a night sea wind and she inhaled deeply to fill her lungs with air that was the blend of a passing storm and deep blue ocean. Pausing only for a moment to gather her thoughts and adjust to her changed surroundings, Lilly cast her eyes to the skies above. The clouds were beginning to part and the stars were evident again. Still, it wouldn't be long until morning broke.

Lilly moved cautiously across the deck to her instruments, checking the dials and the distance that the automated pilot had taken her whilst she had been below. If her calculations where correct, she would reach her destination within the space of twelve hours and her time at sea was almost at an end.

"You're nearly home." Miley said.

Lilly smiled, "I'll be back today."

"No longer lost at sea." Miley teased.

"I was never lost!"

Miley laughed and Lilly's cheeks flushed as she grinned in response.

"Are you going to miss it?"

"What?"

"This…" Lilly raised her eyes from her control panel to where Miley was gesturing. To the east, a line of gold was emerging over the edge of the horizon. Lilly rose to her feet and moved to the stern of the yacht. The sun was breaking over the Atlantic and all of the colours of the ocean were coming to life beneath the first light of the new day.

"This is the last time I am going to see this." Lilly said quietly.

Miley had moved to stand next to her. "What's stopping you from doing this again?"

Lilly shook her head, "I can't spend my life at sea."

"No."

"I'm nearly home."

x-x-x

The navy covering of the night sky had faded to royal blue by the time Lilly returned below deck. The ocean had also calmed with the passing of the storm and at last her eyes felt heavy enough to permit her some sleep.

Kicking off her deck shoes and hanging up her coat, Lilly threw off her extra layers and lay back on her bunk and closed her eyes. This was her last sleep before she was back in-between clean sheets and resting on feather pillows – she was going to enjoy it even more with the knowledge that she would soon be returning to her home comforts.

Something warm brushing across her forehead brought Lilly out of her reverie. Her eyes opened to find the cabin bathed in a soft, yellow light and she found herself looking into a pair of smiling blue eyes.

"Miley," Lilly muttered, her voice still thick with sleep.

"Hey," Miley whispered, her eyes turning a shade lighter on seeing that Lilly was now awake.

"I missed you," Lilly said, her hand reaching up to take the one that was drawing patterns on her cheek.

Miley laughed, "I've been here the whole time."

"Have you?"

"Yes."

Lilly smiled, her free hand moving to tangle itself in the mane of chocolate curls that fell all about her. She drew Miley down until their brows met and the tips of their noses were touching. Lilly inhaled, breathing in the sweet smell of Miley's skin, untainted by the sea air and still just as she had always known it.

Miley brushed Lilly's nose with her own, "Eskimo kiss."

Lilly licked her lips before leaning up to press her mouth gently against Miley's. She could feel Miley's lips curl into a smile below her touch and soon her best friend was returning the favour. Miley's full lips slid over Lilly's, enticing her own to part and meet Miley's again in this slow dance of languid passion.

Lilly could feel the pulse point twitching in her neck and her body began to shake with the sudden need for her best friend; for the warm weight of her body to cover Lilly's and for Miley to turn her talented hands to a different form of art.

"I love you," Lilly whispered against Miley's mouth and she moved her hands so that they were cupping Miley's cheeks, easing her best friend away so that she could look into her eyes and see right into the very part of her that had loved Lilly back.

Miley's eyes had turned inky, "I love you too. Always have and always will."

Lilly gasped, her throat tightening with the prick of tears, "Then stay with me and don't ever leave."

Miley shook her head, "I'm going wherever you will go."

Lilly shuddered and Miley seized the moment to kiss her again, easing the convulsions affecting Lilly's body and soothing the tears which fell from the creases of her eyes. Miley moved across the bunk, hovering over Lilly before lowering herself onto her. Miley's weight kept Lilly pinned to the bed as her hands slid down, one caressing the base of her throat and the other trailing soft circles on Lilly's belly.

x-x-x

Lilly's eyes opened to find the grey light of a cloudy day filling the space of her cabin. She stretched out, her arms rising to arc above her head and her shoulders clicking with the strain of the movement. She ran her hands through her tangled hair and then across her brow and cheeks, rubbing her eyes and the last remnants of sleep away.

Her arms dropped heavily to the bunk, her fingers scrunching the rumpled sheets below her into her fists. She sighed as she patted the warm bedding into place around her before rolling off the bunk to her feet. Lilly made the bed with the same tedious care that she had given it every day during her time at sea, finally plumping the pillow and tucking it beneath the duvet so that nothing remained to reveal that she had just been lying there and lost in the sweetest of dreams.

Lilly slipped a sweater over her head before taking the stairs to the deck to assume the steering of her yacht from the automatic pilot. The day that greeted her was cold and grave, with the threat of rain looming in the darkening clouds above. The storm had blown over but the tattered clouds remained, gathering into larger blooms in every shade of grey whilst she slept.

Lilly moved to take the wheel, turning the boat in the direction stated by the controls she had come to depend on during this epic journey. The wind pushed back the hair from her cheeks and Lilly inhaled deeply, filling her lungs with the pure air of the ocean. Her eyes closed and instead she tuned her body to the motion of the waves beneath the boat, her mind lost to the space below the surface water - a thousand miles down to the sea bed.

"What are you thinking?"

Lilly smiled, though her eyes remained shut, "It must be peaceful in the deep."

"You won't be able to breathe down there."

Lilly shrugged, "I wouldn't be giving up. I'd just be giving in."

"When you're so nearly home? Lilly, I can see land."

Lilly's eyes fluttered open and she saw at once that Miley was right. The horizon was no longer an endless expanse of changing water, there was something solid and defined at the very edge of her vision.

x-x-x

Lilly hadn't been expecting a great turnout for her return home, especially with the rain that was falling. She was drenched, her hair plastered down against her scalp and beads of clear water running over her cheeks, clinging to her eyelashes and occasionally blurring her vision. However, the sight that greeted her from the harbour lifted her spirits to the space above the clouds where the skies remained forever blue.

Hundreds, possibly thousands, of people lined the docks, all cheering and waving banners they had made for her return. As she steered the yacht through the passages of boats to where she would finally stop to moor her vessel, the sounds of her supporters almost became too much.

She smiled against the bitter sheets of cold rain that washed over her, raising a hand to wave whilst her yacht was sprayed with loose white lilies, thrown by her friends from school, college and work who were behind most of the noise. Lilly could see her mother, wrapped up warmly against the weather, waving through her tears and smiling endlessly to see her daughter returned safely home.

Then Lilly's journey came to an end, she had reached the point where she could moor her boat. Suddenly the leaders of the charity she had supported were climbing onboard, ushering her away from her control point and toward solid ground. Lilly's legs were shaking as she climbed down from her beloved yacht – her constant friend that had protected her from all the might of the Atlantic during her crossing.

People were pressing in on her from all sides and Lilly began to lose sight of the sky. Her head was reeling and she could hardly breathe, until a clear voice shouted over the crowds, bidding them to part, "Stand aside and give her some air!"

The owner of the voice was skilfully moving her well-wishers to one side and a strong hand closed around her arm, pulling her to higher ground and out of the way of her joyous supporters.

"Thank you," Lilly gasped.

"My pleasure, kid."

Lilly gazed up into a pair of smiling blue eyes, and she recognised her saviour immediately from the deep softness in his voice and the inflection of the Deep South in his speech.

"How did we do?" Lilly asked when she had recovered her breath.

Robbie Ray Stewart smiled and offered Lilly a half shrug, "We did alright."

"Better than alright," another voice offered from behind his father, "Lilly, you raised over one million dollars."

Lilly smiled, glad for the rain which masked the tears that had not stopped falling since she had stepped off the yacht, "Then it hasn't been in vain."

Robbie Ray shook his head, "Even if you'd only raised ten cents do you think it would have mattered?"

"I don't know," Lilly said quietly.

"Did you find what you were looking for when you left?" Robbie Ray asked then, "Did you make your peace?"

Lilly's smile remained although all of the light had left her eyes, "She's never coming back."

"No." Robbie Ray agreed.

"That's all there is to it."

Lilly could see her mother trying to reach her through the press of supporters; her father was also hovering in the background. Robbie Ray and his son were watching her expectantly, and she could see her friends through the years holding up bottles of champagne and waiting for her to join them.

Then Lilly saw the banner the chairman of the cancer charity was attaching to her yacht.

Lilly Truscott – Atlantic Crossing 2018 – In loving memory of Miley Stewart…

She turned aside and began to move away from the people gathered in the harbour, walking at first but quickly turning into a run. Lilly was certain that they were calling out for her, but she needed her own space and she needed to see the sky.

Lilly ran around the harbour, vaulting over a barrier until she was on a private dock. She ran until she reached the end of the pier and she could see the ocean laid out before her feet.

"I did it, Miley," Lilly whispered, turning her face once more into the rain, "I sailed around half the world and I would have kept going until the end of the earth for you."

There was no answer. The rain continued to pour and the wind whipped the water from the surface of the ocean up to blend with the rain water as it lashed against her, soaking through her layers and chilling her skin.

Lilly knew then that it would have been so easy to have given in, to have spread her arms and leaned forward into the awaiting embrace of the ocean. But she couldn't do it.

After she had died, Miley wanted her to live her life; she had wanted that for Lilly all along. When she was older, and she had learned everything she could about her world and all the people that she had loved, then Lilly could join her best friend. For now, she had to turn back and put her journey behind her.

Her life and love would still go on and, although the loss of her best friend would always be with her in each step that she took, Miley would stay with her for all of time.