Ok, before you start reading this fic, I want to give you some explanation.

My other fic "The finale that will change everything" is not over, I've just had a really rough time and had a few time to write.

This fic, I had written it a long time ago.

And now the second remark: if you have written TFTWCE you'll be familiar with some scene. That's because when Dunn entered the picture, my mind went here. And it's not because I'm a sadist or a sick mind, it's just part of my real job. I work in crime and I see crimes everywhere.

This story will be rated M at some point.

Wait for your reviews.

Meredith could just make the rest of the world slip away.

Derek hid his face in her neck breathing her in, his body relaxing immediately.

They had a tough day, yesterday.

He was nervous and touchy around William Dunn.

All these years, all these patients, all the cases he had to deal with… for the first time he had to face the ghost of his father's murder. And he wasn't ready. Despite the time passed and the fact that he had left home and his family, the pain was still too strong to bear.

And Derek had never really tried to heal from this wound, to let it close.

It kept to be unimaginable: a man killing another for no reason, like it was a sport, like it was a leisure.

The realization that his dad was dead was like a piece of ice stuck in his throat, a brick falling on his head every evening before falling asleep, every morning waking up.

The tragedy of a person going out for work and never coming back.

Derek had tried to make this his mission: avoid people going out and never coming back to their families.

Men like William Dunn were the errant mines, the unexpected.

They found pleasure in hurting , in killing, they destroyed innocent lives and never repent about that.

And this was the point where Derek's and Meredith's world clashed.

She was the optimistic one, she was the trustful, she was the "see things in grey". Meredith Grey saw things in grey. Derek Sheperd saw things in black. He needed a spoonful of her, he needed to get over his hate and contempt and provide that man the care he deserved. He was a human being after all, it was not his duty to judge him. He was paying for his mistakes, he was soon going to pay for his wrongs in the greatest way: his life for the lives he had taken away.

Unconsciously Derek hugged Meredith even tighter. The simple thought of losing her was unbearable, something he had tasted once and never wanted to get near again. She was his world, he wanted to make things good for her, he wanted to make her pain go away. And she was in pain lately.

The fight with Cristina had slid out of control, they were both strong women but sentimentally immature, they couldn't control words and keep the problems in proportion. And Derek wasn't so sure he could convince her girlfriend's person to make a step back. Cristina didn't like him, he could well say so, he felt it, he noticed it in her eyes. Maybe she accepted him now, but she didn't like him. And he was even sure his relationship with Meredith got in the field of their fight somewhere.

A sudden beeping snapped him out of his slumber thoughts. He turned around patting the nightstand, his fingers closed around his shaking drilling pager, he took it close to his eyes but the words were just a blur and he messaged his eyes pushing the sleep away, next try he could read a request for an urgent consult, the name of William Dunn entering his thoughts once again. He stood up, the conditioner sliding down his chest letting him naked but for his boxer in the dim moonlight, he approached the chair near the bathroom and picked up his clothes, he managed to wear his jeans quickly and put his shirt on, letting it open. He picked up his sweater and jacket willing to get dressed downstairs not to wake Meredith up. Apparently his delicacy was useless as he heard her turning around in the bed, he took a quick look to the bed and a small smile formed on his lips. Meredith was looking for him, her hand patting the mattress in surprise when she didn't find the warmness she was looking for.

"Derek…" she mumbled, her voice asleep and groggy. He walked quickly to her side of the bed and bent down to place a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I was paged… Go back to sleep"

"Ok". She rolled to her side and she was out cold again. Derek smiled, he had always envied Meredith's ability to fall asleep and wake up and immediately fall asleep again. Unfortunately for him, his biorhythms were lazier and all the time she woke him up for a quickie in the middle of the night, he ended up having a sleepless night while, five minutes after their passion, she was sleeping like a baby. He tucked the covers on her and gave her a last, little caress before going out.

The trip to the hospital was fast, after all it was 3 am and Seattle was still asleep.

He easily found a spot in the parking lot and made his way to the surgical floor holding his briefcase.

He reached for the restricted area where William Dunn was confined not to make his presence a greater problem than it already was. Two guards watched his door no stop, no one was allowed to go in unless it was a doctor on the case. That meant that only Derek, Hunt, Meredith and Cristina could go in. And the chief of course. Derek made mental note to talk to Richard later, he didn't want the two residents anymore near that man. He was a manipulator and a calculator and despite the trust Derek had in Meredith as a doctor, he felt that William Dunn was getting to her, gaining her compassion. And he was afraid he could try to use her in the long run.

Derek's eyes met one of the guards, a tall man in his 40s. The officer smiled to him and stretched an arm, Derek knew he wanted his briefcase and handled it to him. The guard gave him William's chart and opened the door for him.

It was like Derek entered another world, it was a stupid feeling. This was still the hospital after all, his hospital. But for the first time he didn't feel compassion for his patient, he didn't feel to give the patient anything more than he had to. He swallowed seeing the prisoner's eyes scanning his approaching form, a throaty grin welcoming him in the room.

"Oh, I asked them not to wake you. I said, "whatever it is, it can wait till morning. Dr. Shepherd needs his beauty sleep" his voice was cold and detached, miles away from the sympathy he was verbally pretending to express.

Derek's guards immediately went on, aware of the icy look the man was giving him. He went in doctor mode, his voice professional and clear. He was not going to let this man impress him.

" Your latest head C.T. shows that the brain contusions are expanding. I'm gonna get you into the O.R. right away" Derek signed the chart quickly, when he looked up he met William's eyes again. And what he saw surprised him once more. Usually people weren't adamant to go into an OR to have their heads cracked open. They were scared, they flooded him with questions. Dunn's eyes were everything but worried, he was giving him a piercing searching look, curious and almost… how to say it… amused.

" This-this brain thing, it-it could kill me?"

Was he scared after all?

"If we don't treat it, yes" Derek held the chart tighter, his patience going away seeing a grin forming on William's lips. "You find that funny?"

"I'm sorry. It's just that they're gonna execute me in five days" He breathed out finding the wall in front of him interesting "Five days… Might as well take my chances with this brain thing, right?"

Their eyes met again and Derek saw just emptiness behind them, a thick nothing. Nothing that brought death with it, that was going to lead to death soon. How soon… it depended on him too. He blocked out his feelings and the surgeon spoke again, at least tried to.

"Mr. Dunn…"

"You gotta admit, it's a nice way to go. Plenty of attractive females..." He lingered on those words letting Derek feel his allusion to Meredith and the doctor flinched, a cold chill running down his spine at the mere thought of that man thinking of his Meredith, looking at her. He fought the lamp in his throat and was about to speak but the tension disappeared as Dunn looked away and went on "all the jell-o I could want. Have you tried the strawberry? It'll change your life".

Derek made a further effort, he was that man's doctor, he wanted it or not.

" You're refusing surgery?"

"Either way, I'm going to die, dr. Shepherd. Might as well do it on your watch" And that was it. Derek knew he had to convince him into surgery as it was his duty, but it felt this wasn't the moment. He breathed out and left the room, the previous routine displaying on the contrary: the guard taking the chart back and handling him his briefcase. Derek sent the man a smile and took the door. He had three hours left before the beginning of his shift and he wanted to go home, taking a shower, seeing if Meredith was really fine. He would think later how to convince that man to have surgery.

He got home half an hour later, despite the early time the house was swarming with noises and people. Alex was trying to make some breakfast in the kitchen, Derek lingered at the doorframe noticing he was setting two glasses on his plate.

"Perfect" he muttered quietly and Karev turned to look at him licking some jam on his pinkie.

"What?"

Derek breathed out. How could these residents be so immature in their sentimental lives? When he was in his late twenty, he was already married. For a long time. Well… it didn't end good but he at least knew what he wanted from his private life, he knew where his ambitions were; for these people sleeping around was the highest expectation. And looking to Alex's plate he knew there was some new girl waiting for him in bed, possibly naked.

"Nothing… I was just thinking if this place will ever stop to look like a frat house"

"Mer has never complained about it"

"I know. But that shouldn't imply you can take a new one every night" Alex's jaw tightened, he bit his tongue to prevent the sentence to go out from his lips. Meredith did this a lot before, nightstands… and she told him to act like this was his house so… so he did. But saying this out loud to no one else than Derek Sheperd… well… he was so many things but not a stupid. The doctor was nice and polite but totally unreasonable when it came to Meredith Grey. Reminding him of her stormy and active past was like giving fire to a living wire. And it was not his will. And then… deep down he knew Derek had every right to be pissed. Having half naked girls walking in his house was not on the top of his wishes. He wanted to build a family with Meredith, have an intimacy with her. Having his subordinates living around messed up with his idea of cohabitation. So he shut up and took the remark without saying anything, he just picked his plate up and left the room. Derek followed his movements till the resident disappeared around the corner upstairs, he entered the kitchen and approached the coffee boiler. It was empty. He snorted and started to make a new pot. Messy residents and roommates never gave a damn of the people living with them, they ate, they drank and never did anything to help Meredith. The pot hissed and Derek took it off the stove, he poured two mugs and made his way upstairs, he walked down the corridor singing a ditty in order to cover any possible noise coming from Alex's room, he finally got to his door and opened it up. A smile formed on his lips seeing that Meredith was leaning to the headboard reading a book, she smiled softly to him too.

"Hey" was the only word she uttered. But it melt Derek's heart as it was so familiar… It reminded him that this time was really going to be forever. He closed the door kicking and approached her nightstand, he put the mugs down and leant to place a kiss on her lips. "You're back early…"

"I wanted to spend some time with my beautiful girlfriend" He leant to kiss her neck and a shiver went down Meredith's spine.

"You spend your whole days with me…" Derek kept kissing her neck and Meredith closed her eyes.

"Yeah… with your supposed friend seeding sarcasm all around and a serial killer messing with your head". Meredith's eyes snapped open and she retrieved.

"He's not messing with my head" Their eyes met and Derek swallowed "And if he ever tried I wouldn't let him"

"Ok" The answer came out too quickly and Meredith's face dropped.

"I'd really prefer you to say it like you mean it, Derek". She pushed the conditioner away and stood up, brushing his shoulder in the process. Derek took her hand and Meredith turned on her heels, avoiding his gaze. He had hurt her, he felt it… he saw it. He tenderly stroke his thumb on her backhand.

"I'm sorry" The kind tone of his voice smoothened her a bit. She couldn't stay mad to him when he sounded so beaten up and sorry. Still she avoided his eyes "I just went to the hospital to hear that he refuses the surgery and… he really gets on my nerves" He let go of her hand and raked a hand in his hair, leaving it messy. Meredith sat by him, looking at him with concern. She took his hand, rested lazily on the bed.

"I know…" Derek's eyes met hers and she smiled "I know it's hard for you. I wasn't all that supportive yesterday evening but… I'm with you. And I'm here if you want to talk to me". Their fingers locked and she kissed his stubby cheek.

"Your coffee is getting cold" He took a mug and handled it to Meredith.

"And you might wish to shave if you want to get laid tonight" She took a sip of coffee looking at him suggestively.

"I was thinking of now to tell the truth" His face was serious but his eyes were sparkling.

"Just shave and we'll see" Derek kissed her and disappeared in the bathroom, Meredith picked her book up and went back leaning against the headboard, sipping her coffee absentmindedly. She heard the noise of the water from the bathroom and suddenly a moan. She stopped reading and stood up quickly closing the distance between the bed and the door separating her from Derek. She opened it to see him in front of the mirror, his face covered in the after shave, a curios look on his face, his hand holding the razor tightly. His puzzled expression turned into an amused one quickly.

"You just couldn't wait, could you?" Amusement spread in a grin quickly.

"I thought…" she stopped mid sentence, suddenly embarrassed to stand just in her panties in front of him. Derek was worshiping her with a cloudy, stormy look… "I thought I heard…" Derek set the razor down cleaning his face with a towel.

"You don't need to be ashamed if you wanted to jump me right away" Derek grinned wickedly seeing her blushing up.

"I did not want to jump you!"

"Oh yes"

"Oh no"

"Oh yessssssss!" a loud scream filled the air and Derek looked at Meredith stunned. It was her turn to grin now. She pointed to the door with her finger over the shoulder.

"I heard that and I thought you had cut yourself shaving. I didn't want to jump you" She turned on her heels and walked to the bed while the noises went on from the corridor. She laid back and picked up her book, Derek leant to the doorframe looking at her "It looks like Alex has a new friend…"

"Who knows if she's new or not? I mean… we see so many faces in here that I can't recognize all of them" he went back into the bathroom but Meredith clearly detected the blame in his voice.

"So you're back in wanting them out?" She looked up and he reappeared from the bathroom brushing his teeth.

"I didn't say that"

"You meant it" Derek breathed out sensing the defense in Meredith's voice.

"I didn't. We agreed to wait to go living by ourselves and I don't forget it. I'd just like them not to treat this house… your house like a cheap motel…"

"I'm fine with it" she lowered her eyes on the page again and Derek went back to the bathroom. A loud ring filled the room and he walked quickly outside picking his pager from the pocket of his sweater.

"Damn it"

"What?"

"It's Dunn again" he picked up his sweater and walked to the door but Meredith stood up and her words stopped him.

"Wait for me. I go too"

The ride to the hospital was filled by a pregnant silence. Derek sighed sometimes. In the last days everything he said to Meredith led to a fight. And despite how much he loved her and was sure he needed her, he wasn't that sure it was all his fault. She always contradicted him. Everything was good: her roommates, William Dunn, Cristina. They had shared a moment of closeness the previous evening but it was natural after the secret he had revealed her. After that, they had gone back to the touch and go strategy. He knew she didn't make it on purpose. Still he was frustrated. From her side Meredith felt ashamed of herself. Her boyfriend was clearly in a difficult position, he was having troubles in managing his case and his patient. And she couldn't find a word of support for him, not only one. What kind of woman was she? She felt compassion and wanted to express it to a serial killer, a man who had deliberately killed innocent and harmless women. But she couldn't do the same to her Derek. She bit her lip during the ride to the hospital, the words she wanted to tell him on her tongue all the time. But she didn't say anything. Derek drove his car to his lot and got off quickly, without even waiting for her. He walked to the main entrance and when he heard her door closing behind her back he activated the remote control and the car chirped closed. She couldn't take it anymore.

"Derek!" he stopped and looked back at her. She closed the distance between the two of them and hugged him tight "I'm sorry. I know you didn't mean to argue about Alex but…" she let go of him and met his eyes "you're right and I didn't want to admit it. I'll talk to him… tonight… I promise"

"I don't want you to do anything, Mer" he stroked her cheek "I just want your house not to be a whorehouse. I just want to walk down the corridor without hearing people moaning. That's all I want" he gave her a smile and she smiled back.

"I know. You can count on me… for everything"

"I know" he kissed her and they went through the main door together, holding hands.