"You don't have to be alone tonight…"
Eric knew this might not be the best time, but after everything that had happened… he had nearly lost her today and he just knew, he had to let her know how he felt.
"Eric, I'm fine, honestly." She adjusted her bag on her shoulder, tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
"I'm not."
It was brutally honest. Eric lay all his cards on the table with those two little words.
"I don't know what I would have done if anything had happened to you."
Calleigh was surprised by his words. Not by their meaning – she had known for some time that Eric's feelings for her were by no means platonic. She was surprised that he had said it at all. They had been dancing around one another, afraid to make the first move, for so long now.
She considered her options. She badly wanted to be with him tonight, after everything that had happened today. He would be a welcome distraction. He would make her laugh. But what if things didn't work out? Eric was one of the few people in her life that she trusted completely. Calleigh didn't want to risk that. But what if things did work out?
"OK." She said quietly, smiling at him.
A wide smile spread across his face. "Great!" he said, pulling open the passenger side door of the Hummer for her. She climbed in and reached across to open the driver's door as he walked around the car.
They belted themselves in and Eric pulled away.
For a few minutes, they sat in silence, neither quite sure what to say to the other. Eventually, Eric spoke up.
"We were all really worried about you, you know."
Calleigh looked at her lap. She hated to feel vulnerable, hated being reliant on others to save her, but she couldn't deny she had needed her friends today.
"Yeah. I know. I was kinda worried myself." She admitted.
Eric glanced over at her. He wasn't used to seeing her so withdrawn, so… defeated. Not that he could blame her, considering what had happened. But he knew how hard it was for her to be entirely reliant on other people.
"I don't know how we would have caught up with you if you hadn't left us those clues. And persuading Tommy to turn himself in… How'd you manage it?"
Calleigh fiddled with the strap on her handbag. "It wasn't hard. He was in over his head. He just needed someone to show him the way out."
"Yeah, well, you did an amazing job today, Cal. You took control, you led us right to you." He had meant to boost her confidence, show her how much he admired her. But when he heard a small sob, and looked over to see the tears start to roll down her face, he realised that wasn't the outcome he'd achieved.
"Oh, Cal… I'm sorry…I didn't mean…" Eric checked the traffic, switched on his indicator and pulled over.
"I didn't take control, Eric. He was in control the whole time. I was completely at his mercy. He could do anything he wanted…" Calleigh spoke, trying to hold back the tears.
Eric unbuckled his seat-belt and reached over to her, holding her tight against his chest. "It's OK, Calleigh. You're OK." And he let her cry in his arms.
Thirty minutes later, Eric pulled up outside Calleigh's apartment. He had been here so many times before, slept on her couch countless times. Yet he hesitated. Things were different now. He was different.
Eventually, he made himself move. They walked silently towards the front door, Calleigh pulling her key out of her purse.
She reached out, fumbling with the key, unable to make it connect with the keyhole. Her hand shook uncontrollably.
"Here…" Eric gently placed his hand over hers, guiding the key, turning it in the lock. Calleigh briefly glanced up at him, her hair falling in front of her face, partially hiding her eyes.
"Thanks." She was embarrassed. She hated feeling like this. Maybe she should have come home alone. She started to regret agreeing to this.
They walked into the hallway, and she dropped her bag on a side table.
"Look, Eric, you don't have to hang around, I'll be fine."
"Calleigh, please don't turn me away now. I know you too well. You don't have to be ashamed."
"I don't want to keep you…"
Eric took her hand, gently stroked it. "Everything I want is right here"
Calleigh stepped towards him, unable to resist the urge to be closer to him. He wrapped her in an embrace, holding her close, breathing in the scent of her.
"I, uh… I think I'm gonna take a shower." She broke away from him, but he grasped her hand.
"Calleigh… I need to ask. Did he…" The word tasted bitter in his mouth before he'd even said it out loud. "Did he rape you?"
She looked down, uncomfortable with his bluntness. After a few seconds of silence, she looked up, making eye contact with him. Eric could see the determination in her eyes, the passion that he knew and loved was fighting back.
"No. But there was a moment when I thought…"
"Thank God…"
He kept hold of her hand for a few moments more, gently caressing it. Finally, she broke away.
"I really do want to jump in the shower. I won't be long."
"Take as long as you need."
Eric made them coffee, moving around Calleigh's kitchen with as much ease as he did his own. This wasn't the first cup of coffee he'd made here. As it brewed, he searched the fridge for food. Typical Calleigh, everything was healthy. Vegetables, fruit, some fish. Nothing suitable for comfort eating. He picked up the phone and ordered pizza, reeling off Calleigh's address without hesitation. Whilst he waited, he pulled out cutlery, plates and napkins. He even threw together a salad, for good measure.
Calleigh emerged from the bathroom just as he poured the coffee. Perfectly at ease around Eric, she was dressed in a huge, fluffy dressing gown. Her damp hair hung loosely around her shoulders.
"Great timing" he smiled, handing her a mug.
"I see you made yourself at home." She answered, glancing at the table.
"Don't I always?" He grinned. "Dinner will be here soon. Come and sit down." He took her hand and guided her towards the couch. Eric stared at her, waiting expectantly.
"Why are you staring at me?" She asked, grinning with embarrassment.
"Talk to me, Cal. Tell me what you're feeling."
"You know I'm not really in to talking about this sort of stuff…"
"OK, then I'll go first. I was terrified, Calleigh. I thought I was going to lose you. When we found your hummer, and the gunshots, and the chloroform, I was so scared. I can't live without you, Calleigh. And I know you feel the same way. I know you're scared too, and I get that, I really do. But if we let this slip away from us we'll regret it our whole lives, I know we will."
Calleigh just stared at him, utterly taken aback. She couldn't lie to him, he knew how she felt about him. She had told herself that Eric wasn't the type to settle down, that if she dated him, it would be over within weeks, and he would move on. But he was different now. Since he had been shot he hadn't been going out clubbing, having one night stands, chasing every new girl in the department. He had been spending more and more of his spare time with her. The way he looked at her, the casual way he touched her. If he had been trying to hide his feelings, he had been doing a terrible job. Sometimes she had tried to let him know that she felt the same way, but somehow it never quite seemed right.
"When we walked into that room… when I saw you sitting at that table, with Ryan and Tripp… it was just like… "finally. Something that makes sense." You were there, Eric. I felt safe."
Eric twisted on the couch, so he was sitting facing her directly. He took her hands, gently caressing them.
"I will always keep you safe."
Calleigh smiled at him. He had expected her to protest, to tell him she could take care of herself. But she didn't. Instead, she simply let him hold her hands.
They were interrupted by the doorbell. Eric rose from the couch, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. He answered the door, paid the delivery guy, and took the pizza.
"Dinner's ready!" He called to Calleigh.
They sat at the table to eat. Eric loved how Calleigh used a knife and fork to eat her pizza, delicately cutting it into pieces before switching the fork to her right hand to eat. Eric was more traditional in his approach to pizza were nearly done when Calleigh looked up and smiled at him.
"What? What's so funny?" Eric asked.
"Nothing, it's just… you have tomato sauce on your nose…"
"Dammit!" he said, laughing. Picking up his napkin, he rubbed his nose, trying to remove the sauce.
"Eric, you're just making it worse. Let me do it."
She leaned over and dabbed her napkin on his nose. It was a movement that a few months ago would have meant very little. A casual touch between friends. But now, everything was different. Suddenly it seemed incredibly intimate, and Eric couldn't resist her.
He lifted his hand, gently stroking her hair. She let the napkin drop as he leaned in, kissing her gently. He felt her tense for an instant, before she relaxed into the kiss, resting her hands gently on his thighs. It only lasted for a few seconds, but to Eric, it was an eternity. A moment that would never leave him.
Calleigh leant back, moving away from him.
"Are you done?" She asked.
"Sorry?" Replied Eric, baffled.
"With your plate. Have you finished eating?"
"Oh! Sorry. Yeah, I'm done with my plate."
Calleigh rose from the table, picking up their plates and took them out to the kitchen. Eric took the opportunity to admire her walking away from him before he picked up the leftover food and followed her.
She was loading the dishwasher. Eric put down the leftovers and crept up behind her, snaking his arms around her waist. Calleigh jumped. She hadn't heard him approach.
"God, Calleigh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Eric pulled back slightly, giving her some space.
"That's OK. I guess I'm still a little on edge." She moved towards him, wanting to touch him, to kiss him, but feeling suddenly awkward. Eventually, she settled on resting her hands on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned forward kissing her again, this time with more confidence, more passion. Calleigh responded in kind, reaching up to put her arms around his neck. She pushed herself on to her toes, reaching up to him, deepening the kiss. He held her tighter.
"Calleigh…" he whispered, as she pulled away.
"Eric, I can't…I'm not ready… not tonight."
"Jesus, Calleigh, I never expected... After what you've been through today. You need to take some time to come to terms with that."
Calleigh nodded. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. " He gave her a wry smile, gently stroked her arm. "You look exhausted. Why don't you try and get some sleep? I'll crash on the couch.
"I guess I am a little tired. But… would you mind…" she hesitated, searching for the words.
"Mind what?" Eric prompted her.
Calleigh took a deep breath. "Would you stay with me?"
Eric stared at her, puzzled at first, before the meaning of her words hit him. "You sure? I don't mind the couch…"
"I just… I need to know you're close." She stared at him, willing him to say yes.
"Yes. Of course. You go on, I'll finish up in here and I'll be in."
"OK."
As she prepared for bed, Calleigh wondered if she was confusing Eric. Was it cruel to invite him into her home, her bedroom, her bed, but at the same time tell him she wasn't ready to take things any further? At least she was being honest with him. And normality had been suspended today, he could not have expected her to make too much sense.
She stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. The bruise over her eye was darkening, it felt sore. She lifted her top to stare at the deep purple foot-print emblazoned over her ribs. She sighed. Even if she had wanted to take things further with Eric, she couldn't have let him see her like this. Each time she breathed in, she felt a stab of pain in her ribs, a constant reminder of what Seth had done. She wondered if the memories would fade as quickly as the bruises would.
As she brushed her teeth, she could hear Eric rattling around in the kitchen. Clearing up plates, wiping down the surfaces, putting things right. That was the trouble with Eric. He always wanted to put things right. He didn't seem to realise that sometimes, things need to right themselves. It was his biggest weakness, and his biggest strength. It was what had driven him to join law enforcement in the first place. Why he had travelled to Rio in search of Marisol's killer. It was one of many reasons why Calleigh loved him.
Tomorrow, she would have to allow somebody to photograph the bruises on her body, the ligature marks around her wrists that Eric had been staring at all evening, but politely not mentioned. Somebody would have to interview her, ask her to recount everything that had happened in excruciating detail. Somebody would show her photographs of Tommy and Seth and ask her if they were the people who had abducted her. Calleigh planned to ask Natalia to do it. She couldn't trust any of the guys not to look at her like a victim. Natalia would understand. Calleigh tried not to think about it. She had a whole night to get through before she would face tomorrow.
She knew she wouldn't sleep. Who knew what tricks her mind might play on her if she allowed herself to slip into unconsciousness? She didn't want to be back in that warehouse, even if this time she truly could wake up from the nightmare. Calleigh hoped that having Eric close by would be a distraction for her, something to keep her mind focussed.
She moved back towards the bedroom and hung up her dressing gown. She had put on a vest top and long cotton pants, a choice she immediately regretted as she caught site of the finger-tip bruising around the top of her arms. She sighed. Her body was covered in reminders of Seth, he had truly left his mark on her. In the kitchen, she heard Eric's cell ring. Calleigh strained to try and hear what he was saying.
"She's doing OK. I'll stay with her tonight… No problem"
It would be somebody from the lab – probably Horatio. Checking up on her. Calleigh knew how much they all cared for her, but she hated being at the fore-front of their minds like this. They were probably all still working, processing the evidence that had been collected that day. She felt guilty for keeping them away from their homes, their families, their lives.
In the kitchen, Eric had finished clearing away the dinner things. The leftovers had been wrapped and put in the fridge. The dishwasher was quietly doing its job. He never really bothered cleaning up in his own place, but he knew that Calleigh liked things clean and tidy. This was something he could do for her.
He could hear Calleigh moving around, running taps, opening cabinet doors. He would take his time in here. He didn't want her to feel rushed or pressured. Eric pushed a cloth over the counter tops, methodically working around the room. He thought how Calleigh must have done this just a few hours earlier, only while he was wiping away crumbs and spilt coffee, she had been forced to wipe away fingerprints and blood. He felt sick to think of her there, with Seth. Eric knew he had hurt her, he had seen the marks on her wrist, the rising bruise over her eye. Horatio had been smart to send Eric away after they arrested Seth. Eric couldn't have trusted himself not to take revenge on Calleigh's behalf.
His cell rang. He pulled it out of his pocket, planning to ignore the call and turn the phone off. It would probably be somebody asking if he wanted to go out for a drink. When he saw it was Horatio, he answered it.
"H, hi."
"Eric. How's Calleigh?"
"She's doing OK. I'll stay with her tonight"
"Good. Take care of her, Eric. The team's all here, going through the evidence. We'll need to talk to her tomorrow though. Bring her in when she's ready."
"No problem."
Eric ended the call. He couldn't hear anything from the bedroom any more. He wondered if Calleigh had fallen asleep already. He knew there was little chance of him getting any sleep tonight. How could he close his eyes when she was lying right next to him? He had found it hard enough on those nights he'd slept on her couch, knowing the only thing between them was a thin wall. Glancing around the immaculate kitchen, he switched off the light, and headed to the bedroom.
She had left the door open, and he peered into the bedroom to check she was ready before he walked in. Calleigh was already in bed, but sitting up rather than sleeping. The vest top she was wearing revealed bruising around her upper arms. Unintentionally, he stared. Calleigh caught him, and instinctively tried to conceal the marks with her hand, which only served to highlight the marks around her wrists. Sighing, she gave up, letting her hand drop into her lap. Eric sat on the bed next to her.
"I know it's hard, Cal, but please don't feel you have to hide from me. I mean, we've seen each other not looking our best plenty of times, right? I must have looked a right state after I got shot in the head!" He laughed, trying to put her at ease.
It worked, to an extent. "You didn't look so bad. Your hair was a mess though." She started to laugh, but the pain in her ribs shot through her. Wincing, she took a sharp breath.
Immediately, Eric looked concerned again. "Let me see."
She hesitated. She couldn't very well argue with him. He would no doubt see the photographs tomorrow anyway. Slowly, she lifted her top.
To his credit, Eric didn't cringe, or look away. "Cal, did you get this checked out? You might have a cracked rib or something." His fingers gently brushed her ribs, careful not to hurt her.
"The paramedics said I was fine."
Eric nodded, and she rolled her top back down. "Are you getting in to bed?" She asked him.
"Are you sure you want me to?"
"Yeah. I want you close by."
Eric reached out to her, about to stroke her arm, but stopped himself. He was running out of places he could touch her without risking hurting her. In the end, he squeezed her knee.
"Just let me brush my teeth."
He walked into the bathroom and opened the cabinet, pulling out a second toothbrush. Was it strange that he stayed overnight so regularly he kept a toothbrush here, even though they weren't – so far – romantically involved? He thought back over the years of the excuses he'd come up with to be with her. His neighbours were having work done and the noise disturbed him. He was having his apartment redecorated. They had worked late and her apartment was closer. His car was in the shop and he needed a lift. He had never lied to her, but he could easily have found another option. He could have used earplugs. The decorators could have worked around him. His apartment wasn't much further away then hers. He could have used one of the hummers. But somehow, he had always decided they best option was to stay with Calleigh. And she had always let him.
Putting away his toothbrush, he slipped off his pants and socks, leaving his T-shirt and boxers on. He padded back to the bedroom and slipped into the bed. He had never shared a bed with her, yet it seemed like the most natural thing in the world.
Calleigh pulled her pillows down flat, and lay down on her side to face him. Eric did the same, his body mirroring hers. "Hey", she said to him, smiling.
"Hey yourself." He answered.
They lay there for a while, watching one another, bathed in the soft yellow light of the bedside lamp.
"Calleigh?" he almost whispered.
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure"
"Do you remember that day in the parking garage, when Horatio introduced us?"
"That's what you want to ask me?"
"No, that's the first part. Give me chance, I'm working up to it." He smiled at her impatient teasing. "Do you remember or not?"
"I remember."
"I asked for your phone number."
"Actually I think you asked if I wanted to give you my number now or later."
"And you said you'd never date somebody you worked with."
"I did."
"Did you mean that?" Eric looked into her eyes, searching for her answer.
"Yes." Calleigh caught the flicker of panic in Eric's eyes. "But back then, I was young. It was my first day on the job, I still thought everything was black and white. I thought I could control who I fell in love with."
"And now?"
"Now I know that life is never black and white. And that sometimes we fall in love with people despite our best efforts."
"Calleigh?"
"Yes?"
"Do you love me?"
Calleigh allowed her eyes to explore his face. His dark, chocolate eyes, that she could lose herself in. The dimples in his cheeks. His soft lips. She knew every feature by heart. She drank them in. She had never allowed herself to drop her guard, to even ask herself how she felt about Eric. But right here, in the warmth of her bedroom, lying in bed facing him, she couldn't deny it.
"Yes."