Title: Plots and Picnic Baskets
Author: ihearttvsnark
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hart of Dixie
Pairing: Zoe Hart and Wade Kinsella
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,507
Summary: When Zoe and Wade's bickering gets out of control, Lavon decides to borrow a page from Gilmore Girls to get them to stop fighting.
Warnings: Spoilers through 1x13 Sweetie Pies and Sweaty Palms and then this is AU. Also, the idea was shamelessly stolen from a Gilmore Girls episode. This is for bonniebb, who wanted to see Lavon playing matchmaker.
Plots and Picnic Baskets
All Lavon Hayes wanted was to eat his breakfast in peace.
He didn't think that was too much to ask for or that it was an unreasonable request. If people wanted to talk about unreasonable requests, they should come down to his office and listen to the things people asked him for all day long. It was enough to drive a man to drink or at least enough to make him question whether or not he should just start referring people directly to the psychiatrist in the next town. Knowing that he was going to be facing a long day of listening to people and their demands made the idea of a peaceful breakfast that much more appealing.
But it was impossible for Lavon to have a peaceful breakfast in his own home when every morning he was forced to listen to constant bickering, name calling and childish antics. Normally, Lavon liked having people living on his property. Wade and Zoe being around made his big house feel less lonely and they stopped his thoughts from constantly drifting to Lemon and what might have been. His thoughts still went there of course, he was only human, but Zoe and Wade provided a nice distraction.
Or they had until their silly prank war had escalated into a full-scale, nuclear attack. Lavon wasn't sure how they had anything left to fight over since it had been going on for weeks now and each one of them was too stubborn to let it go or admit they were wrong. So they kept fighting and trying to one up each other and Lavon was tired of it. He'd done everything he could to try and mediate things back to neutral ground, but they refused to call a ceasefire. Lavon knew it was time to do something drastic or he was going to have to start having breakfast at the Rammer Jammer and it would be of the liquid variety.
These were desperate times.
The good thing about being mayor of a town that constantly held festivals was that no one would notice if he decided to add a new one to the calendar for the month. He'd heard about another town that had done something similar or maybe he'd seen it on a TV show that he'd never admit to watching. Either way, Lavon had his assistant print out flyers and once they were done, he decided his next step toward getting what he wanted was to divide and conquer.
Lavon found Zoe in her office, scowling and muttering to herself as she looked in the direction of the window like it had personally offended her. He knocked on the open door, raising an eyebrow when she looked his way. "Is everything okay?" he asked.
"Everything is fine except the part where Wade Kinsella is still breathing," Zoe grumbled. Her scowl deepened and she motioned to the window. "He was hiding in the bushes earlier with one of those rubber snakes. He knows I hate snakes. I'm going to get him back for that."
It looked like she was already hatching a plan so Lavon knew he needed to talk fast. "That's great, Zoe, but have you started thinking about what you're going to put in your basket yet?"
Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Basket?" she repeated, "What basket?"
Lavon sighed, making sure to add a dramatic emphasis, even though there was no way she could have known what he was talking about since he was making it up as he went. "Your basket for the auction," he said as he moved into the office and handed her one of the freshly printed flyers.
Zoe scanned it quickly and her mouth fell open as she raised her gaze to meet Lavon's. "Is this for real? Do you know how sexist it is to make women put baskets of food together for the men to bid on? That's terrible, Lavon." She paused, a considerate look crossing her face. "Didn't the y do that on Gilmore Girls?"
"How would I know?" Lavon snapped, wincing at his tone. Zoe raised an eyebrow, but he pressed on, not wanting her to put too much thought into the matter. "Zoe, this is another chance for you to try fitting in with people and you might even have fun. Besides, it's for charity."
He could tell she was thinking about it. Her eyes went back to the flyer and she chewed on the corner of her lip. "Well…I doubt anyone would want to buy my basket. Do you remember the gumbo? Cooking isn't really my strong suit."
"It's a picnic lunch, Zoe," Lavon pointed out. "I'm sure you can manage a few sandwiches and sides. And I'll buy your basket. What do you say?"
She hesitated for a moment and then nodded. "Okay. Maybe it will be fun. Will you help me make the food?" she asked hopefully.
Lavon laughed. "I'd be happy to help you, Zoe."
He waited until ten minutes before the auction was supposed to start before he approached Wade. His friend was behind the bar at the Rammer Jammer even though the entire town was already in the square. Lavon had spent the morning putting together the basket with Zoe and then he'd told her he had to take care of something so he'd meet her there. She'd seemed pretty excited and Lavon had started to feel guilty since being manipulative wasn't really his thing, but he'd reminded himself that if he pulled this off, everyone would win.
"Hey Lavon," Wade greeted him with an easy smile as he wiped down the bar. "What brings you here?" he asked. "Shouldn't you be getting ready to bid on Zoe's brownies or whatever?"
Lavon fought the urge to smirk. Wade had obviously been keeping tabs on Zoe. "Wade, I need a favor." He did his best to make his voice sound desperate as he took a seat at the bar. "Something came up and I need to go meet with the mayor of the next town. I can't stay for the auction."
"Hell no," Wade replied. He shook his head vehemently, taking a step back from Lavon. "I see where this is going and it is not happening. Hell no," he said again.
"Come on, Wade," Lavon urged. "You know how hard Zoe has been trying to fit in here. I convinced her to do this and now I have to bail. Do you really want to see her standing up there all alone and embarrassed when no one bids on her basket?"
"Yes," Wade replied, but there was no conviction in his voice and they both knew it. "I'm sure Tom will bid on it. The kid has a crush on her," he scoffed.
Lavon shook his head. "Everyone knew I was going to so Tom already said he was buying Wanda's basket." Or maybe Lavon had made it clear Tom would be sorry if he didn't buy Wanda's basket. These were desperate times after all.
Wade sighed. "Did Zoe cook the food herself because if she did, that's a recipe for disaster," he said warily.
"I helped her," Lavon replied. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the money he'd designated for the basket. "Here, you can use this. Please Wade," he added, doing his best to give Wade puppy dog eyes.
"Oh hell, Lavon," Wade grumbled. He took the money and stuffed it into his back pocket. "You owe me for this. The last thing I want to do is spend my afternoon having lunch with Zoe Hart."
As he said the words, Wade was already moving out from behind the bar and running a hand over his hair. Lavon once again fought the urge to smirk, giving his friend a grateful smile instead. "I appreciate this, Wade."
"You owe me one. Maybe more than one," Wade replied as he walked toward the door.
Lavon grinned. He could practically taste the peaceful breakfast that was in his near future.
Zoe wasn't sure she'd ever get used to stuff like this. She'd been standing on stage with most of the other women in Bluebell, holding a basket, for nearly an hour as the auctioneer called out bids for them one by one. Her brain literally couldn't process how sexist this was and why she was the only one who seemed to see it that way. Everyone else was smiling and having fun and she was doing her best to fake it, but it wasn't easy. She shifted on her feet as Lemon stepped forward and George and Brick both started bidding.
She fought the urge to roll her eyes and instead scanned the crowd for Lavon. He'd said he'd needed to take care of something, but he should have been back by now. Once Lemon was finished, she would be the only one left and the crowd was already pairing off with people anxious to get to their picnic lunches. The sound of the gavel hitting the podium pulled her from her thoughts and Zoe watched Lemon bounding off the stage toward George. This was it. She stepped forward, a nervous smile on her face as she listened to the auctioneer listing the contents of the basket that Lavon had helped her put together.
"Let's start the bidding at twenty dollars," the auctioneer called. "Do I hear twenty dollars?"
He was greeted by silence and Zoe could feel her cheeks heating as she tried to casually glance around for Lavon. He'd gotten her into this and she was pretty sure he wouldn't just abandon her. But after an uncomfortable moment, the crowd started whispering amongst themselves and she had a really bad feeling.
The auctioneer sent her a sympathetic look. "How about fifteen dollars?" he suggested and Zoe wished the ground would swallow her whole.
"Fifty dollars," Wade called. Another murmur went through the crowd as all eyes turned toward him. "Hell, make it seventy-five," he said, holding up the bills Lavon had slipped him. He could see how embarrassed Zoe was and despite what he'd said to Lavon, Wade really didn't want to see her humiliated. The auctioneer grinned and banged the gavel against the podium once last time. "Sold!" he announced.
Zoe gave him a small smile and barely resisted the urge to run off the stage, instead taking her time and walking at a normal pace since she could still feel too many sets of eyes on her. Wade was giving the money to Delia Ann and when he turned, Zoe awkwardly passed him the picnic basket she was holding. She had no idea what had possessed him to do that and even though she was still annoyed with him for the way he'd been treating her lately, Zoe couldn't help feeling relieved. "Thanks," she said quietly.
Wade shrugged, taking the picnic basket and motioning for her to follow him away from the square. "It's not a big deal. Lavon got caught up with some work thing and he didn't want you to be alone up there." He figured he might as well be honest because he doubted Zoe was going to want to eat with him anyway. "Do you want to find a spot by the lake or just head home?"
She realized he was giving her an out and Zoe opened her mouth to take it, but stopped herself. "By the lake," she said. Zoe glanced sideways at Wade and saw the surprised look on his face. "Unless you'd rather not…" Her voice trailed off and she turned away, focusing on the sidewalk in front of them. Maybe that had been the wrong thing to say.
He shrugged again, trying not to get his hopes up that she actually wanted to hang out with him. "It would be a shame to let all this food go to waste. Lavon told me he helped make it so at least I don't have to worry about you poisoning me," Wade teased, giving her a sideways grin.
Zoe rolled her eyes. "Maybe I would have thought ahead if I'd known you'd be my lunch companion." They both fell silent as they walked through the trees toward the lake. There were already a few couples scattered around and Zoe was grateful when Wade kept walking until they were away from everyone else in a shaded spot out of the view of prying eyes.
Wade pulled the blanket out of the basket and spread it on the ground. He motioned for Zoe to take a seat and once she did, he sat down beside her and started to unpack the food. The silence was starting to get to him, but he wasn't sure what to say. All they'd done was argue lately and he didn't really want to start a new fight. "Do you want the ham sandwich or the turkey?" he asked.
"You pick," Zoe said. "I mean you paid for the basket so it's really yours. I'm fine with either one." She gave him a friendly smile as she wished things weren't so awkward between them. It was easier to fight with him than to make small talk, but she was tired of fighting.
"Technically, Lavon paid for it," Wade reminded her as he passed her the turkey sandwich, knowing that she had always ordered them for lunch at the Rammer Jammer. "Actually, Annabeth said that he put this whole thing together. It's too bad he didn't get to participate," he said.
Zoe nodded as she unwrapped her sandwich. "I didn't realize it was his idea. It seems strange that he has business to take care of a on a Sunday," she commented. Talking about Lavon was making some of the awkwardness between them fade and that was definitely a good thing. It almost felt like things were getting back to normal.
"That usually doesn't happen unless there's some kind of disaster," Wade said. He passed her the container of potato salad. "This is my favorite thing Lavon makes. Did he tell you the secret ingredient?" he asked, reaching for a plastic fork.
"No, but it was the first thing he offered to make," Zoe replied as she scooped some onto her plate. She started to say something else, but stopped when she caught the look on Wade's face out of the corner of her eye. "What?" she asked.
"Son-of-a-bitch," Wade muttered as realization set in. He pointed to the potato salad with his fork. "Lavon doesn't like potato salad even though he makes the best there is. This was his real plan," he said, gesturing between the two of them. "He set us up." Wade shook his head as he wondered when Lavon had gotten so sneaky.
"Why would he do that?" Zoe asked. But even as the words left her mouth, she knew the answer. Lavon had been trying for weeks to get them to stop fighting and talk to each other and they'd both refused. This was the first time they'd been borderline friendly since the night Wade had ruined her chances with Judson. "I guess he's tired of us fighting," she said.
Wade nodded. His first thought was to find Lavon and tell him that his covert tactics were not going to work, but he knew that would be pointless because they already had. He shifted on the blanket so he was facing Zoe. "I'm sorry that I ruined your chances with Judson. I was an ass," he admitted.
"You were," Zoe agreed. She saw his mouth open and reached out, placing her hand on his knee. "But I was too. I was more concerned with getting back at you than I was about making things work with Judson. He was right to end things. I should have ended things."
"No, you never should have given him another chance after he slept with your friend," Wade countered. He placed his hand over hers to stop her from pulling back. "You can call me a jackass if you want, but you deserve better than someone who treats you like that, Doc." He swallowed hard, his eyes drifting to the blanket for a moment. "There are other men in this town, you know."
"Thank you for saying that," Zoe replied. She was touched that he was genuinely offended on her behalf and she knew he was right. Judson sleeping with Gigi had hurt, but it had hurt her pride more than anything else. "I know there are other men in this town," she said. "But there aren't really that many people who want to get to know me."
Wade met her gaze once again as he thought about the last time he'd had the opportunity to be straight with her. He'd blown it and things had been weird between them ever since. This was life, or Lavon, giving him a second chance. "Maybe there are people who want to get to know you, but you're not really seeing them. Not everyone worth knowing has a fancy career," he said.
"I never said they did," Zoe replied. She bit the corner of her lip as she watched him. The last time they'd been in this situation, she'd thought she'd had it all figured out and then he'd blindsided her and made her feel like the whole thing was just a game to him. She didn't want to set herself up for disappointment again, but she didn't want to ignore what she thought she was seeing either. "Maybe people should just try being honest," she said.
"Maybe people would be honest if people thought they had a chance," Wade countered. His heart was suddenly beating a little too fast as he tried to figure out if she was serious or if this was just an elaborate way to get back at him for what he'd said to her. He didn't think she was that mean, but he wasn't sure he was ready to take the risk either.
Zoe made an impatient noise. "Come on, Wade!" she cried. "Were you telling the truth when you said that you liked me or not?" she asked. Her heart was pounding so hard against the wall of her chest that she wondered if he could hear it. His hand was still covering hers on his knee and there was a part of her that just wanted to run away and pretend none of this was happening. But she needed to know.
"Yes, Zoe, I like you," Wade replied. Every instinct he had was dying to add a sarcastic comment to the end of the statement just to protect himself, but he clamped his mouth shut. The ball was in her court now. If she wasn't interested, she wasn't interested and then he could just move on and that would be that. It wasn't like he needed Zoe Hart in his life or anything. He'd gotten along just fine without her so far.
She was waiting for the catch, but it didn't come. Wade was watching her expectantly and Zoe wasn't sure what to do. She'd be lying if she said she'd never thought about it. But it had never been a serious thing. Wade wasn't a serious guy. He was the kind of guy who made jokes and teased her.
But he was also the kind of guy who stayed with her all night because she thought there was a ghost outside and he was the kind of guy who thought she deserved better than a man who would hop into bed with her friend.
"Well if you like me, you should ask me out on a real date and not one Lavon arranged so we would stop fighting," Zoe said. Part of her was terrified at the thought and she still had the urge to run and hide, but there was another part of her that was already deciding what she was going to wear.
Wade's jaw dropped and it took him a moment to find his voice. "All right," he said. "Zoe, would you like to have dinner with me? There's a great restaurant in the next town that I think you'd like." He half-expected her to start laughing or yell out that she'd been joking, but some of his doubts started to ease when she smiled at him.
"I'd like to have dinner with you, Wade," Zoe agreed. Her stomach fluttered and she couldn't seem to stop her cheeks from turning red. Awkwardness settled between them again, but this time, it was the good kind. "I guess Lavon knew what he was doing."
"I guess he did," Wade agreed. A large grin spread across his face. He couldn't fully believe this was happening and that Zoe had agreed to go out on a date with him. Wade wasn't going to dwell on it though because he didn't want to jinx anything. "I think the best thing we can do now is come up with a plan to screw with Lavon. Are you in?" he asked.
Zoe laughed. "Absolutely."