Looking down at the mop of shaggy brown hair that was connected to the head currently resting on his chest, Dean let out a breath. The strands fluttered a moment before falling still, the other male not moving at all. Last time Dean had looked at the clock it stated it was 3:34, this time it reading 4:45. Normally after lovemaking with Sammy he would fall asleep rather quickly, a memory kept flooding his mind tonight however.

He didn't mean for it to pop up, it was just something that Sam had said earlier that made him remember it at all. Dean was sure that the younger Winchester remembered ever detail of that day. How many people forget being molested? Dean's eye's slipped shut as he started thinking about that day like it was only yesterday.

"Hey man," 19 year old Dean said as he opened the door for his friend Kevin. It was a time when they had been able to stay in one place for half a year. So John had rented half of a duplex for the boys, Dean paying the bills with the job he had at an auto shop. It wasn't a bad place, it had a full kitchen and living room down stairs. Upstairs was two bedrooms one for Sam and one for Dean, them sharing a room when John would come there for a small amount of time. The bathroom and moderate closet were also upstairs, complete with a shower that actually had elbow room from the growing Sammy.

"What's up broham?" Kevin said, clapping Dean on the shoulder.

"Not much in the least, how's the team treating you?" Dean asked, talking about the fact his friend was on the football team. Quarter back to be precise.

"Killing me man, but hey I'll make it through, got anything to drink?"

Dean nodded and headed into the kitchen, pulling out a few beers from the fridge and setting them down as they sat at the table.

"So your dad out again?" Kevin asked as he took a swig, after opening it.

The elder Winchester followed suit as he nodded. "Yep, just left yesterday,"

"I don't know how you take care of that brother of yours, isn't he a pain?"

"Nah, he's cool and doesn't really give me to many problems,"

They sat there going through their beers and then another half of one when there was the sound of, getting way to big, feet on the stairs.

"Hey Sammy," Dean said when said brother came in and headed to the fridge.

"Hey Dean, Kevin," He said, nodding at the other male.

"How's it going Sammy?"

"It's Sam and fine," He said curtly, grabbing half a sub that was in there from the night before and a Pepsi.

"Get your home work done?" Dean asked as Sam grabbed a plate, unwrapping the sub and putting it on said plate and in the microwave.

"Getting it done, all my teachers decided to give their pre-pre-pre exam booklets on the same day," Sam pushed a few buttons on the microwave and hit the start.

"Ouch, need any help?" Dean asked turning more towards Sam as the younger leaned on the counter.

"Nah, I'm fine it's not all that hard there is just a lot of pages in each and they want them done by tomorrow,"

"And that is why I say teachers suck," Dean said, pointing his bottle at Sam.

A dimpled smile appeared as he chuckled at Dean's view of the educational system and the teachers.

"Just don't work to hard kiddo ok? Come down here if you need a break besides just food," Dean said, using his big brother voice. "We don't bite,"

"Sure you don't," Sam said, letting out a yawn and stretching, his shirt riding up a few inches over the top of his jeans.

Dean didn't notice the flash of something in Kevin's eyes as he chuckled. "You need to stay away from the Wheaties Sammy or else you're going to be taller than me one of these days,"

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Sam smiled again and took his plate out and closed the small door.

"Of course it will be, I'm supposed to be the bigger one,"

"Well you are the bigger Jerk," Sam said, grabbing his pop and heading out of the kitchen.

"Bitch," Dean said, without much malice, smiling as he heard Sam laugh and walk up the stairs.

"So how about we see what kind of sports are on?" Dean said, looking over at Kevin, who nodded.

"Lets,"

About an hour later Sam came down again as said he needed to stop staring at words since they were starting to jumble together. Dean was paying more attention to Sam than he was really Kevin, not that the male was complaining. What transpired later on made Dean realize exactly why. The youngest didn't stay more than an hour, even though Dean tried to get him to.

"I need to finish, I'm just about done, just need to finish the rest of Science and then math and that's a snap,"

"Ok, but you are going to be coming back down when you are done, you hear me?"

"Sir yes sir," Sam joked and headed back up stairs.

Another hour went by when Kevin stood up. "Dude, where is your bathroom again?"

"Up the stairs first door on the right," Dean said and cursed a bit as another foul ball was hit.

Kevin made his way up the stairs and hooked a left instead of a right, looking into the room where Sam was putting the books in the bag.

"Hi there Sam,"

It took a bit for Dean to realize that Kevin had been upstairs for a while when he got up and headed up the stairs. First thing he noticed was that the bathroom door was open and Kevin wasn't in there. Confusion flitted across his face until he heard a thump that came from Sam's room. Looking in there Dean saw red when he looked over the scene. Kevin had Sam pinned against the wall, both of Sam's wrists in his one hand and his forearm over his mouth. His other hand was shoved down the front of Sam's pants and looked like it was none to soft.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Dean growled out and rushed forward, grabbing Kevin off his brother and shoving him into the other wall.

"He wanted it," Kevin said, smirking until Dean's fist met his jaw and a loud crack filled the room.

"Yea the tears on his face really prove that you dick," Dean growled more, punching Kevin again.

He kept the blow up until Kevin slumped unconscious on the floor. Turning around his arms were full of a sobbing Sam, who he held close.

"Shhh Sammy baby, it's ok," Dean said, feeling close to tears himself.

Holding on tight to Sam, Dean pulled his phone out and pressed the number for the local police.

Once Kevin was taken away and they got Dean and Sam's statements, from a slightly overweight cop.

"Well with what happened and since he did have a slight record of this behavior before," The cop started, only to be stopped by a questioning 'What?' from a shocked Dean.

"His daddy pulled some strings and got a few things pulled that were like this, but never went as far, so don't worry he's going away this time," The cop said.

"Good," Dean said, rubbing small circles on Sam's back, who never detached himself from Dean's side.

"Are you going to be ok staying with your brother?" The cop asked, looking at Sam.

Dean wanted to make some kind of pissed off notion about the question but he knew the cop meant well. Since he was near the same age and all as the person that just touched him. Didn't stop it from being a little annoying though.

"Yea, Dean would never hurt me," Sam said, holding him tighter, making Dean feel overly loved.

"Ok young man, I'm very sorry you had to go through what you did," The cop said and then said his good byes to Dean and they were gone.

"Are you ok Sammy?" Dean asked, pulling Sam to the front of him for a proper hug.

"I feel dirty Dean, I need to take a shower," Sam said, in a low voice.

"Ok," Dean said and tried to pull away, not getting far as Sam's arm's tightened around him more. "You gotta let me go so we can walk upstairs,"

"No,"

"Do you want me to carry you?" Dean asked against the top of Sam's hair.

"Please?" Came the soft whimper that cut through Dean's heart.

"Ok, put your arms around my neck," Dean instructed.

Sam let go of his waist just long enough to wrap his arms tight around Dean's neck in an almost painful grip. Grabbing under Sam's thighs, Dean wrapped Sam's legs around him, where they hooked around him as well. Walking up the stairs was a little difficult, but thanks to Dean's strength and that Sam was a bean pole, he made it up them. Making a quick stop at the closet he made his way to the bathroom. Closing the door, he put the clothes down and rubbed Sam's back.

"Now you gotta let go of me," Dean said softly.

Sam nodded and uncurled his legs from Dean and then his arms and took a shaky step back. Dean kissed his forehead and turned to leave only to be stopped by Sam's hand on his arm.

"Please stay in here with me, just like shut your eyes, please?"

"Ok Sammy, ok," Dean sat on the closed toilet seat and covered his eyes.

There was rustling and then the sound of the shower starting and Sam stepping into it.

"You can look now," Sam said from behind the black curtain.

Dean dropped his hands and leaned back against the tank of the toilet and hummed lightly as Sam took his shower. Looking around he realized he didn't see the sweat pants of the white shirt that Sam was wearing on the floor. A glance in the garbage made him nod slowly and frown deeply.

"Hey Sammy I'm going to go get you some clothes, ok?" He said.

"Hurry back,"

"Ok,"

"And Dean?" Sam asked softly.

"Yea Sammy?"

"Can I wear one of your shirts?" He asked shyly.

"Of course baby boy," Dean said and left the room.

Going into Sam's room he grabbed a pair of underwear and some black pajama pants. Heading quickly to his own room he looked in the drawers for a specific shirt, smiling when he pulled it out and made his way back to the bathroom. Sammy was still behind the curtain, but was toweling off when Dean closed the door again.

"Here ya go," He said moving the underwear around the side of the curtain.

Sam took them and put them on, then stepped out of the shower and took the pants from Dean's hands. After they were on Dean held out the shirt with a smile as Sam took it, a shocked small smile on his face.

"Your signed Led Zepplin shirt?" Sam asked, looking up after he put it on.

"Yep,"

Sam looked close to crying again as he threw his arms around Dean's neck again and was picked up. Opening the door to the bathroom he almost just went straight across until he thought about that.

"Do you want to go back to your room?" He asked gently.

A small shake of the head was all he got.

"Do you want to sleep with me tonight?" Even though he already knew the answer.

"Please Dean," Sam said softly.

Dean nodded and headed towards his room, once there kicking the door shut behind him. Lying Sam down on the bed, Dean moved and pulled on his own pair of Harley Davidson pj pants and a white tank top. Sam was curled under the blanket until Dean laid down and then was fused against his side, head on his shoulder.

"Dean?" He said in a quiet voice.

"Yea Sammy?" Dean asked, looking down.

"Do we," His voice went out of him and he cleared his throat, trying again. "Do we have to tell dad?"

"Not if you don't want to," Dean said, making Sam look up at him.

"Really?"

"Really, he may hear it from someone else but if you don't want me to tell him, my lips are sealed,"

"Thank you," Sam said, burying his face in the side of Dean's neck, crying a little again.

"What are big brothers for," Dean said, holding Sam tight.

There was mostly silence, save for Sam's gentle sobbing which quieted down a bit after a while.

"I'm sorry Sammy," Dean said when Sam wiped the tears off his face.

"For what Dean, you didn't do anything,"

"I brought him here, I'm supposed to have hunter and have good instincts, yet I bring someone like him over and you get hurt,"

"You couldn't have known De, people are different than the things that you and dad hunt, you're the one that told me that,"

"I know I still just feel awful about what happened,"

Sam nodded against the underside of Dean's chin. "At least he didn't take it,"

"Take what? Your virginity?"

"Well yea that, but also… never mind,"

Dean pulled Sam's head back gently making him look at him. "Your what Sammy,"

Sam had a small blush on his face as he chewed a little on his bottom lip.

"You can tell me Sam, I won't laugh,"

"My first kiss," He said in barely a whisper.

Dean looked a little shocked. "You haven't had your first kiss yet?"

"No,"

"Why? There have been plenty of girls that liked you enough,"

"Yea, but that's the thing I want to give it to someone special, not someone I'm more than likely never going to see again but that's never going to happen,"

"What do you mean, cuz we move around so much?"

"Well there is that but also because after what happened, it makes me realize that it could be stolen from me at any time, anything could,"

"I'm sorry I wish there was something I could do,"

Sam tilted his head lightly to the side as if deep in though and the blush on his face rose more as he mumbled something.

"What Sammy?" Dean asked, tilting his head a little as well.

"I said there is a way,"

"How?"

Sam just looked at him with the blush rising on his face, watching as comprehension rose on Dean's features.

"Sammy n," Dean started to say but was cut off by Sam's please.

"Please Dean, you are the only person that has always been there and you're not going anywhere anytime soon,"

"Sammy," Dean said, in an almost pleading voice.

"Dean you are special to me and I love you, more than I'll probably ever love anyone else, you are everything to me,"

"What?"

"You're my brother, my best friend, the adult figure in my life so please Dean be my first everything too,"

"Sammy what are you asking me to do?"

"First I want you to be my first kiss and then I want you to take my virginity," He said, the blush in full force on his cheeks.

"Baby boy," Dean said, trying to fight the puppy dog eyes he was getting.

"Please Dean, it would hurt to have them stolen from me,"

"But you don't know, I just….," Dean sighed and pulled Sam close to him burying his face in the crook of Sam's neck. "Sammy,"

"Please De," Sam whimpered, completely breaking any resolve Dean had left.

"Ok," He said, pulling his head back but keeping Sam close.

Sam looked into Dean's eye's for any sign he was lying, smiling a little when he didn't see any. Just the love that he always found there.

"Do you want to kiss me or do you want me to kiss you?" Dean asked brushing his thumb lightly against Sam's jaw.

"Kiss me please?"

Dean nodded and slipped his hand to the back of Sam's head moving in slowly, giving Sam all chances to stop this. Upon getting no resistance at all, he tilted his head to the side lightly and pressed their lips together. Feeling Sam's gasp more than hearing it, Dean pulled back a little then bumped their lips together again. This time Sam pressed his lips against Dean's, pulling him closer. Moving their lips gently together for a few minutes the older Winchester pulled back and rested his forehead against Sam's.

"And that was your first kiss," Dean said gently.

"Are all of them that good?" Sam asked, tilting his head.

Dean chuckled and gave Sam's lips a small chaste kiss. "No, most of them are really bad,"

"Yours aren't," Sam said, looking down at Dean's lips then back up.

"Just ask baby boy," Dean said in a soft husky.

"Kiss me again?"

Dean pulled Sam to him and pressed their lips back together. Slipping his tongue against Sam's bottom lip, the younger male's mouth fell open, his tongue moving forward. As the kiss got more involved, Sam's hips found Dean's and he gasped feeling Sam's excitement.

"Sammy," Dean moaned as Sam pushed his hips more into Dean's, his cock responding.

"Will you do it tonight?" Sam asked, his arms tight around Dean's neck.

"Sammy," Dean tried to object but the hurt look that started coming back across Sam's face stopped him. "Ok, give me a second,"

Getting out of bed after another small kiss to Sam's mouth, he made his way over to the dresser that had his clothes. Getting a condom and the bottle of lube that were hidden in there, he came back over to Sam, dropping the things on the bed. Lying on the bed, he pulled Sam on top of him, making him straddle him.

"Dean," Sam squeaked when he got settled.

"Yes?" Dean asked, smiling softly.

"How is this going to work if I'm on top of you?"

"It works in the way of that's where I want you to be for a few minutes and then I'll turn us over and get to work, ok?"

Sam blushed and nodded, leaning down and kissing Dean with out asking or having Dean make the move. Smiling a little into the kiss, Dean rested his large hands on Sam's hips rocking them back and forth slightly.

"Dean," Sam moaned a few minutes later, leaning up.

"Yes Sammy?"

"Please," Was all he uttered.

"Ok, ok," He smiled and flipped them over kissing Sam's lips again.

Pulling away from him he had Sam sit up so he could pull the borrowed shirt off of him and he put it on the floor next to the bed.

"If at anytime you want me to stop, say so," Dean said, brushing the tip of his nose against Sam's.

"I will," Sam said and gasped a little as Dean kissed his chest.

Mapping every inch of Sam's chest took time and patients that Dean didn't think he ever had, but every noise Sam made was worth it. Never once did he try and stop to long to think about the fact that it was his little brother under him. It didn't matter anymore, he couldn't take the hurt that would be in Sam's, his Sammy's eyes if he told him no. Getting to the waistband of Sam's pants Dean looked up at Sam in a silent question.

"Go on Dean," Sam said, biting his lip slightly.

Nodding, Dean pulled down the pajama pants and boxers and put them with the shirt.

"Wow baby boy," Dean said, taking in the sight of Sam's cock.

"What?" Sam said, going red.

"You're big," Dean said, moving his hand out to run his palm up the bottom of it.

Sam hissed in pleasure as Dean's hand worked over him.

"Dean, feel so close," Sam panted.

"How about I make you come with my mouth?" Dean asked, kissing Sam's hip.

"No I want you,"

"And you'll have me, but it would make you much more relaxed if you came first and it would be another first that no one could take from you,"

Thinking about it for a minute Sam nodded. "Ok,"

Dean kissed Sam's hips a few more times before running the tip of his tongue against the vein on the underside of Sam's cock. The moans that flew out of Sam's mouth bounced off the walls as Dean repeated the action a few times.

"Fuck Dean,"

"Watch your language," Dean said, before taking Sam into his mouth.

The moans just got almost louder as Dean moved his mouth up and down Sam's length, wrapping his hand around the part he couldn't fit. It didn't take all that long for Sam to stiffen and come with a gasp of Dean's name. After pulling off of Sam, Dean swallowed it and gave Sam a slow kiss.

"How did that feel?"

"Awesome," Sam said chuckling slightly.

"Now for things to feel even better if you still want it,"

"I really do,"

A small nod and another kiss and Dean shucked his own shirt off and dropped it on the floor, jumping a little as Sam sat up.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked.

"Just lay down for a second," And he waited until Dean did.

Kissing him for a second Sam followed the same pattern that Dean did down his chest, shivering as Dean moaned. When he got to Dean's pants he got them off and stared at Dean's cock with slightly wide eyes.

"Is it going to fit?" Sam asked, rubbing it a little, making Dean moan.

"If I prep you good enough," Dean said, panting.

"Good," Sam said, making a quick decision and taking Dean in his mouth for a moment.

Dean's moans were louder and deeper than Sam's and seemed to affect the younger very much as he was already hard again.

"Ready for me to stretch you now?" Dean asked as Sam got off his cock and laid back on the bed.

"Yea, I'm ready,"

Moving between Sam's legs, Dean grabbed the lube and popped the top of it and poured some on his fingers.

"Relax for me baby boy," Dean said, kissing Sam's inner thigh.

Sam nodded and hissed a little as Dean pressed the tip of his index finger into him almost to the first knuckle. Dean continued to kiss his inner thigh as he started working his finger in and out, going a little deeper each time. By the time he had worked his middle finger all the way in, Sam was panting and squirming slightly.

"Ready for another one baby boy?"

"Yea, Dean please,"

Pulling his finger out, he added more lube and started stretching him with two, then three fingers. After the third started going in almost easily, he grabbed his shirt and cleaned his fingers off and got the condom on his cock. Putting more lube on himself, he lined his cock up, holding one of Sam's hips.

"One last chance to back out Sammy,"

"Take me Dean, please?"

"Anything for you Sammy," Dean said as he pushed in slowly.

Sam hissed again as Dean's cock stretched him wider than his fingers had, but it felt good at the same time. When the head of Dean's cock pressed over his prostate, he gasped loudly and his hips jerked Dean the rest of the way in him. Leaning forward, Dean kissed Sam until all the pain eased off of his face.

"Move De, please," Sam gasped against his lips.

"You got it," And Dean started moving in and out at a slow pace.

Sam's moans mingled in the air with Dean's as the older Winchester spread Sam's legs more over his and quickened his pace. Moving at a different angle, each thrust in made Dean drag over his prostate, making him see stars.

"Dean, touch me please?" Sam gasped as his back arched off the bed.

Hooking his arm around Sam's leg he took Dean took his cock and started stroking it in time with his thrusts.

"Come for me Sammy, come for me," Dean gasped, feeling his own orgasm forming.

With a shout of Dean's name, Sam came over his chest and stomach. The extra tightening of Sam's muscles made Dean shake with pleasure as he came hard into the condom. Leaning over again, he pressed his lips to Sam's again, capturing his panting.

Pulling out of Sam, Dean got rid of the condom before moving over and cleaning Sam up with his shirt. Once his brother was clean, he threw the dirty shirt in the hamper and got his lower clothing back on. Helping Sam back into his clothes, Dean then laid on the bed and was instantly fused to Sam again.

"I love you Dean," Sam said, kissing Dean's cheek.

"I love you too, Sammy," Dean said. "How are you?"

"Still a little shaken up, but much better knowing no one can take anything from me," Sam smiled, dimples on full display.

"I'm glad," Dean kissed Sam one more time. "Now lets go to bed,"

"Ok De," Sam said and curled against Dean more.

After that night Dean and Sam didn't touch in a more than brotherly way for a long time, but it did help Sam. He even found a pretty girl to start going out with for a bit, before their dad came and they had to move when summer came. It hurt Dean a little when Sam had left but at the same time, he knew his brother was going to be ok.

It was near a year after Jess's death and Sam coming back to him that they were more than brotherly again.

Dean didn't even really see it coming either, but at least the next time wasn't because of a tragic event. Dumb luck was pretty much what you would call it.

They had been watching the rapidly darkening clouds with wary eyes when they had spotted the motel that looked pretty full. With luck when they stopped there was one room left, but it was a king not two queens. Mutually shrugging they said whatever about it and got the room. In the little time it took to drive to the room, it had started raining and hard. Just the run from the impala to the door had them completely soaked and not even worried about their bags for the moment.

Stripping down to their boxers, that were still dry, they dried their hair and fell into bed. Sam had shifted on the bed for a while and sighed and looked over at Dean who looked back with a raised eyebrow.

"Do you ever think about it?"

"Think about what?" Dean asked, confused.

A faint blush overtook Sam features. "About the fact you took my virginity,"

Dean's face now matched Sam's with the blush. "Not really, normally have to much on my mind to think about anything, why?"

"I dunno, just you did that for me when it was wrong and illegal and a million other things,"

"Along with amazing?" Dean smirked, making Sam blush more.

"Jerk,"

"Bitch, but you were so hurt and broken and I couldn't bare the thought that someone could hurt you I couldn't deal with,"

"I really could never thank you enough you know that right?"

"Yea I know that, why bring it up now though?" Dean asked, cocking an eyebrow when Sam's blush came back.

"Just, I don't know I guess….,"

"Sammy?"

"I never felt more loved than I did that night, not even with Jess,"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're my brother and you did something that should have made you punch me, you put all of inhabitations aside and did it for me, just because you loved me,"

"Still do ya know and as I said back then, just ask Sammy,"

"Dean," Sam said softly, rubbing the back of his neck a little nervously. "Kiss me?"

Smiling softly, Dean moved forward putting his hand on Sam's bare side and shifted closer.

"Anything for you baby boy," He said softly and pressed his lips to Sam's.

Their kisses started off soft and sweet but soon turned feverish and passionate. Soon their boxers hit the floor and they found each other again.

In the year that followed at some point Sam had the talk with Dean about being exclusive with him and Dean agreed, since as always he would do anything for his Sammy.

"Dean, wake up man it's almost three in the afternoon," Sam's voice came through his subconscious.

He made a noise that vaguely sounded like 'fuck off'

"Come on De, we have to go look into that book shop today,"

This time there was no reaction.

"If you don't get up and in the shower in the next 20 seconds, no sex for a month,"

"You just can't let a man sleep can you?" Dean asked, sitting up and stretching.

"No not when you've been sleeping all day and we've got to go,"

Sam smiled and came over kissing Dean gently for a few minuets before pulling back. Dean's head followed him for a moment and pulled Sam back and onto the bed, covering him with his body.

"And why can't this wait till later?"

"Because the store closes at five and if we aren't there today we have to wait until Monday,"

"Fine fine, but you owe me sexy baby boy of mine,"

Sam smiled and kissed him for a few more minutes before smacking Dean's thigh. "Go on De, you can ravish me later,"

"What about fucking you over the hood of the impala later?"

"Anything for you Dean,"

"Hey, that's my line Bitch,"

"Jerk,"

~*~*~*~Authors Note~*~*~*~

Well this was just a random thought that popped into my head at almost midnight last night when I was ready for bed.

So I started writing it and it turned into almost 5K words and 15 pages. Oh my

I know it's sad and I can't get away from the angst and shit, but tell me its good?

I don't own the characters, I just write scenario's for them