Revised: Hello to Users fans of old and hopefully new. I am Starspike7, writer for this series. Those of you who have read this know how bad the orriginal first chapter sucked and also how it gets better later on. Well, never again will people think that. Today it has been rewritten

I just want to say that Herr Wozzeck, iNf3ctioNZ, or Sarge1995 had no affect on this story. This is my story and I am not getting my inspiration from them. I have my own reasons.

Okay so this is my second fic and I thought about it for a while. I disliked my first one because it was so...tragic. At the time I started writing it I had a lot happen so it was a way to vent but now I feel it's time for a Humor induced fic to appear. So without further ado, User(s).

I am Ty, not Tyler or Tyson not even Tyrel, my name is just Ty. I woke up one morning to the ringing of my phone. I got up and checked it out. When I answered, it was my boss over at servicemaster. He just called me up and said that his new employee didn't show up for his first day at work.

This was a problem in the fact that today was my day off. Not only that, I hadn't had a day off in a month thanks to our low employee-high work load mandate. I tried to say no I wasn't going to work but he said that if I didn't show up, I was fired. That would have freaked me out right away, I had to pay for college and all. Luckily, however, I made so little money last year I qualified for a pell grant.

This gave me more confidence than I should have had and I ended up telling my boss to piss off. He replied with saying my pink slip is in the mail. I didn't care though; I had 5,000 dollars of savings money to get me by while I was out of work.

In celebration of being fired from that horrible job, I decided on a Mass Effect marathon and started setting up my xbox. I made the decision last week to install all the games on my xbox so I wouldn't have to keep changing disks in the middle of the game. This also made my xbox work faster and I had the first game started up in a few minutes.

I began playing with the standard Shepard look and standard name. Following that I began playing with him as a soldier. I hadn't played through the first game as a soldier because my favorite class was engineer.

I began plating through and crushed my way through Eden Prime when I began to feel hungry. I realized I hadn't eaten and paused the game to grab a bite. I stepped into the kitchen and tripped on the wire connecting my fridge to the electrical plug. I got up rubbing the back of my head wondering why I couldn't enter the kitchen unless I was falling.

I reached into the pantry and grabbed some Funions. From there I walked over to the fridge and took out a six pack of coke. When I closed the fridge I saw the note that had been hanging there for a month. It just said 'goodbye'. That's how a girl that you have been with for four years leaves, a fucking written note.

I turned away and went back to the couch. I sat down and accidentally sat on my football. It caused me to slide off the couch and onto the ground where I sat for a moment. I got angry and threw the xbox at the TV screen. It hit the TV and shot back at me thanks to the reverse polarity exparament my ex did on it.

The girl needed a TV and I loaned it to her. Now if you get near enough to it, it will launch you into the kitchen. I learned that the hard way when I was drunk.

Anyway, I sat back down and started powering though the game. I was beating it so fast that I spent more time waiting for the levels to load than actual playing. It was so damn fun.

Then everything did a 180 on me when an error message came up on the screen. It was right after I had saved Liara and they were debriefing. The message said "Inputting new character. Please stand by." I clicked the Okay button and my controller lit up like a Christmas tree. Not knowing what to do, I hit the X button hoping that it would stop what was going on.

Suddenly, I watched myself turn green and matrix code washed over my body. I looked over at the TV and everything seemed to turn 3D. I felt myself get yanked out of my seat any I flew towards the TV.

I got up and looked around; it looked like I was in the comm room on the Normandy with a whole lot of ugly two inches away from my face. "Oh, my god mutated frog thing", was all that came out as I latched on to the first humanoid person near me. I looked directly up and saw a face bathed in blue. This caused me to jump to the middle of the floor. Giving me a chance to look around to which I saw that I was surrounded by video game characters from Mass Effect. That is where I will begin the story of how an error message sent my life for a loop.

Shepard stayed in his seat just staring at me as if he had something to say but didn't know how to phrase it. Garrus however had his tongue and was capable of using it.

"Okay, who the hell are you and why did you sneak onboard the Normandy?"

"Technically Garrus, he teleported onto the ship", Tali cut in from behind him.

I was at an impasse, I just woke up in the Mass Effect universe and was at gun point with the protagonists. I had to think quick but what do I say.

"I'm your creator!" Great first thing I say and I just told them I am god. I'm sure they will believe me. Fuck!

Garrus was caught by surprise by this and lowered his gun a little bit but quickly brought it back up and put it to my head. Wrex came right next to him and pulled a knife. He looked at it then to me and got a devilish smile on his face. Thinking it over maybe it would have been a better idea to say I was a biotic stow away.

Wrex just began laughing in his low krogan tone, "Maybe we should check to see what god looks like on the inside?"

Garrus just held his weapon strait keeping an emotionless face, "I bet he's full of sunlight and rainbows."

I had to think fast so I pointed to Shepard and said the first thing that came to my mind, "Actually, I only created him."

Shepard went from the contemplating look from earlier to a look of WTF, "Yeah right, and Wrex is my uncle."

This just pissed me off, I had my life on the line and they were treating it like it was a fucking joke. "Oh yeah, then how do you explain that I know almost everything about you. You grew up as a spacer. Living from ship to ship and the only time you got some time on the ground was when you went to see your grandparents. You were stationed on Elysium when the skylion blitz occurred and you single handedly held off the Batarian forces until the alliance could come in and assist you."

Shepard's eyes widened but quickly shot back to regular size, "You could have learned that from my personal file. Nice try creator."

"More like User."

"What?"

"Well, I mean I come from a place where this is a video game and your people are a complete work of fiction. I am a player of the game A.K.A. a User."

"Okay so how do you change from creator to user?"

"Well, the game has its basic guidelines and as a point in it you get to create your Shepard. So, in a way I created you."

"I don't fucking believe this. Garrus, get rid of him."

"With pleasure", Garrus replied as he reached out to grab me. I quickly threw my hands up and prayed for a weapon to defend myself. Then, I got a picture in my head of the omni-blade. Behind that picture a swarm of green numbers ran. It looked like something out of the matrix.

When I opened my eyes however, everyone was standing and staring at the omni-blade that sat glowing on my right arm. I looked around and saw Garrus staring at it with envy. Wrex kept looking from his blade to mine, probably trying to decide which is better. Tali had her omni-tool out and was scanning it. Shepard just stared at it.

Shepard was the first to speak, "What the hell is that?"

"It looks to be a bayonette-type attachment for the omni-tool. Keelah, it says it was programed just now."

Wrex came lumbering forward, "Doesn't matter it's just a weapon that can be broken."

Wrex brought his full might down with the knife into my blade. His shattered and mine stayed completely unscathed. This was my chance to make something up and save my ass now.

"You like it. I call it the omni-blade. It is as strong as steel and as hot as the sun. So you want to pick a fight. I'll slice you in half before you even get close!" My big talk was cut short when I was put in a stasis by Liara. Then Wrex back handed me and I went flying across the room into a wall and was out cold.

Okay, not my best plan, was the first sentence that came into my head after waking up in the brig. I looked around and saw that it was built in the same fashion as the holding cells we would see on Virmire. That meant that it was only able to be unlocked from the outside.

This was too stupid. I get sucked into Mass Effect only to get knocked out by Wrex. Something was wrong here, I began to try and rationalize what had happened. Everything went 3D and then bam, I was here. First thing I thought was that it might be a prank off one of those stupid shows that MTV puts on.

I got up and walked around the cell, "Okay, you got me! Who is behind this? Cody, Danny, or Colt?"

About an hour passed and I was still stuck in the brig with no reply. I sat down and thought of a different explanation. I thought that maybe this was a dream but the throbbing in the back of my head told me otherwise. God, this is like a bad fan fiction.

I figured that if I was here then I should try to at least take some measure to see if it was real. I thought about a way I could test to see if it was real or not. Then I came up with an idea.

I put my arm out and tried to activate an omni-tool and got nothing. Then I closed my eyes and focused on a picture of an omni-tool and when I opened my eyes...I got nothing. This has to be some sort of a joke, I thought. Then the doors opened.

I looked up to see bug face waltz in like he owned the Normandy, "Okay user, we keep trying to get your IFF but you don't seem to be bringing anything up. Why is that?" Garrus was being smug and talking in the tone he would when giving interrogations.

"I told you, I'm from another universe where this is a video game. We don't have omni-tools." I had to reply in a calm voice although that looked to be making Garrus angrier.

"Alright then put out your hand", Garrus said through gritted...would you call them mandibles? I complied and he began searching my arm. "Where did you get that weapon from? If you don't have an omni-tool?"

I spoke calmly but I asserted my point, "I just thought about it and it came into being. At least that's what I think happened."

Garrus gave a smirk, "Oh really." Then he pulled a gun on me and put it to my head. That is when the omni-blade reappeared. Garrus moved fast and scanned it. A moment later he was standing before me with the same blade and ready to use it.

I couldn't beat him in a fight if we were given the same tools so I looked at my omni-blade and imagined it turning into an omni-taser. Suddenly the blade split into two prongs and an electrical current formed between the two.

"Garrus, what do you guys want from me", I replied as I got into a fighting stance.

"Just want to get to know you", with that Garrus leapt at me. His omni-blade collided with mine and he went flying across the room. I walked up to him and saw that the electrical current from mine had propelled him backwards. I waved my hand in front of his face to try and wake him up but he was out cold.

I knew that this wasn't going to help me at all so I just got up and sat at the other end of the room trying to activate my nonexistent omni-tool.

Tali:

Tali had been working on the core for a full six hours strait by now and decided it was time for a break. She waved over the Head Engineer and pointed at the door. He gave her a nod and she left.

Tali got into the hanger to see Wrex leaning against his usual crates and Gunnery Chief William's repairing the commander's assault rifle. Then' she looked to the Mako but Garrus wasn't at his usual station. Tali had never seen him leave the Mako's side since they were aboard the Normandy.

Her curiosity getting the better of her she went to look for him seeing as he was the only one not on duty currently. She checked the Main deck but the only person that could tell her was the pilot. Joker, as they called him, did a sweep of the ship and said he had gone to the holding cells about twenty minutes ago.

Tali thanked him and left to go see what he was doing but stopped in her tracks when she realized that he was probably interrogating the stow away. She thought about it and came to the conclusion that it was probably a good idea to talk to him and find out how he got his weapon.

Tali made her way to the holding cell and as she got near she saw a flash of light followed by the prisoner yelling something about how something took long enough. When she got to the window, she saw Garrus sitting against a wall and the prisoner turning on and off an omni-tool. Wait Garrus isn't moving

Tali rushed in and pulled her shotgun on the prisoner, "What did you do?"

The prisoner just pointed to his arm, "I got my omni-tool working."

Tali checked the corner of her visor and saw that it read Andrew Shepard, "Is this some kind of a joke?" Tali began glaring at the prisoner but it probably wasn't very intimidating from behind a mask.

The prisoner just stayed sitting, "Uh, yeah that's because I named my last character Andrew Shepard and due to that I can't change its IFF."

"Character? Shepard? What are you talking about?"

Ty:

Okay, my favorite character from Mass Effect has me at gun point. Garrus is out cold on the other side of the room. My IFF reads Andrew Shepard. Could this day get any worse?

Then, backup arrived in the form of a N7 Marine, "What's going on here?"

"We are just having a tea party here, Shepard. Garrus over there is passed out cause he had too much. What do you think happened? He attacked Garrus and has stolen your identity!"

"Not true, Garrus came in here to attack me and I defended myself. Second, I got my omni-tool activated and it reads Andrew Shepard, not John."

Shepard grabbed the bridge of his nose, "Okay, well since I am down a man. Andrew, you're coming with us to Noveria."

That seemed too easy; I accidentally knock Garrus out and am drafted into Shepard's team for Noveria. "Okay, I'm stumped why?"

Shepard left the room and didn't say a word. Then I looked to the left and saw Tali still had her shotgun trained on me. "Tali, will you get your gun away from me." Tali just glared back.

"Well Andrew, I will but remember. If you try anything at all-"

"I know you have a shotgun."

Tali left mumbling something about me being a boshtet. I looked over to Garrus and saw him begin to stir. I was out the door before his eyes could even twitch.

I headed straight for the Mess Hall and didn't look back. Okay, my name is now Andrew. Might as well roll with it. Now wouldn't be the best time to tell them that it is the last Shepard I played through with. Wait, does that make me an engineer?

Shepard:

Shepard's eye's continued to twitch. He had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that this stow away was important. But how?

Shepard began reliving the events that had lead up to this point. The mission to Eden Prime and Saren killing Nihlus, meeting Garrus, Wrex, and Tali, becoming a specter, and finding Liara and this kid appearing. How did he get here?

Shepard hated being out of the loop and more importantly the unknown circulating in the loop.