Nothing belongs to me. Inspired by a headcanon.

Natasha with a wrapped package in her hands is a weird enough sight, and the fact that said package has air holes is enough to give Steve another random panic attack. He swears he's used to her, but he's ninety percent sure that whatever's in that box is alive and now really doesn't seem like a good time to find out how questionable Tasha's sense of humor is. From the looks of things, however, he doesn't have much of a choice.

"I got you something," she says as she wanders over, a neutral expression on her face, holding out the package. It's covered in Christmas wrapping paper even though it's currently the middle of August because that's what she could find, or at least that's the explanation she plans to give if anyone is dumb enough to ask. It's true enough, and she figures that given the choice of snowmen or some stupid baby print, seasonally inappropriate wins over awkward.

Steve takes the box from her hands, trying not to shake whatever's inside it. "Let me guess - it's alive."

"Just open the damn box," she mutters, so he does. Unsurprisingly, he's right about it being something that has a pulse. He's not sure what he expected, but a small turtle probably isn't on that list of possibilities. It's kinda cute though, if reptiles are allowed to be cute, and probably not dangerous. Probably being the operative word given who it came from.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," he starts, "but I'm pretty sure this isn't how inside jokes are supposed to work."

Tasha rolls her eyes, shaking her head a bit. She can't even count the number of times she's made jokes about Steve's shield, calling him a turtle and a few variations thereof, and she figures an actual turtle might make it clear that her intentions were relatively benign. Either that or it'll get loose and she'll get to stand back while the guys try to tear apart Stark Tower in search of a tiny reptile. She's fine either way. "I thought you needed a friend," she says after a few moments. "No offense meant."

He names the turtle Sam because it's a sensible name and there aren't enough of those in the modern world, even though they never get around to figuring out what gender the animal actually is. Tasha manages to find a turtle leash from some shop, which lasts about a week before someone (they never figure out who) manages to lose it or possibly burn it. They never figure out what actually happened to the darn thing either. Regardless, the turtle's reign of terror provides endless amusement. It's pretty agile for its species and, over the course of the next couple of weeks, freaks out the robots and goes on at least three "adventures" - technically four, but Pepper would like to pretend the little reptile didn't accidentally took a trip to Boston in her purse before she accidentally "found" it. After that, she decides the turtle needs a cage. That doesn't necessarily mean it stays there, but it's a start