Okay so this one was a little difficult..I kinda got stuck...but a big hug and thank-you to L4C/Lotustattoo who read the bit I had done and loved it so gave me the push to continue. To my gleeforum pals-Love you all lots even though you're all manner of cray cray! And to Chord...get a clue and a pair of bollocks bre...tis all!
An of course a big shoutout to sadhappygirl and IXAMXDECADENCE!
Also if any of you would like an honourable mention just lemme know lol!
The gleeforum gals' tumblr is now up at demlipsthoseabsdatazz...(I know ..the name sheesh!)
So having made a very lucky escape from Emma at the Nylon party, Chord has discovered the world of tumblr and Samcedes/Rileystreet roleplays, adverts for which frequently appear on his dash.
The roleplay he is following is called Summer Gleeks in which Sam (the evansger) gets drunk and kisses another girl called Destiny even though he has zero feelings for her and is horrified by what he's done.Note this is a currently on-going rp that appears frequently on my dash and I decided to have a look. I then pictured Chord in the crack fic reading it and it was too good to leave alone) Big shoutout to the guys who rp this..it is entertaining!
He has decided to audition for a role of his own...in an rp that has proved a little too confusing for Mark to get his head around. Note this rp is completely made up for the purposes of this fic.
The complex existential question that Mark ponders is Schroedinger's Cat.
Mark is just befuddled, Kevin is long-suffering and Darren just hasn't got a bloody clue...
A helpful RileyStreeter on gleeforum has given him the number of a chicken truck company...1-800-chickenxterminator.
And Amber...seems like she's been doing a little trolling of her own...
Kevin,Darren and Mark outside Chord's front door the morning after the Nylon Party disaster.
Darren: (knocking on front door) Chord!
Kevin: Yo Foolio! Open up!
Mark: C'mon , man open the hell up!
Darren:Do you think he's dead?
Mark:...Maybe (he drops his voice dramatically)birdbitch has paid him a visit.
Kevin: (Banging on the door furiously)Waste Fool!
Door opens and Chord looks around quickly then grabs Kevin, Darren and Mark pulling them in.
Mark:What the fuck dude-
Chord:Shhh! I could've sworn I heard chicken cratching last night...
Darren:Don't you think you're just a little bit paranoid?
Kevin:Fuck no! That chicken gizzard totally looks like a psycho serial killer!Did you even see her walking down the street with no shoes on...that poultrified ish is wicked insane!
Darren:She's got some razor sharp talons on her now you mention it...
Chord:Ooooh IXAMXDECADENCE had updated My Guardian Dear...Sammy has wings I tell ya, wings!He can flyyyyyyyyyy!Yeah fly straight to dat cervix! (starts body-rolling and hip-thrusting) Yeah I'm hittin' dat cos I got da moves!
Kevin:Lord preserve us!
Chord: walking over to the laptop Oh my God!
Kevin:What?
Chord:I can't...
Mark:What can't you?
Chord:The feeeeeeels...
Darren:you ok?
Chord: (chokes back a sob) I need to breathe...omigod! Dead!
Kevin: (looking over his shoulder) OH MY GOOD GOD! Chord! What the fuck?
Mark:What! What!
Kevin:He's following rp's on tumblr!
Darren:RP's?
Kevin:Roleplays...didn't I tell you to keep away from tumblr you prize pranny?
Darren:What's a pranny?
Kevin: I'll have to ask Lady B or Anni on gleeforum..its British.
Mark:What is this shit?
Kevin: Lemme have a look...move ova fool! It 's called Summer Gleeks...Oh my sweet Cheesus! He's been reading a sex para between Sam and Mercedes!
Darren: (scandalised) Dude!
Chord: What the fuck! What the fuck! IMMA KILL YOU THE EVANSGER!
Mark:This cat's done lost it...
Darren:Who the hell is that?
Kevin: It's Sam...in this roleplay...calm down!
Chord:He's cheated on her with some slut called Destiny! What kind of name is Destiny? SAM WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON MERCEDES!I SHOULD KNOW!I AM SAM!I AM SAAAAAM!
Kevin:What are you doing you crazy fool?
Chord:I'm blowing their inboxes up...yeah check yourself the Evansger fool! Asshole! Ya dusty mothf-
Mark:Dude, that shits not real...
Chord:(typing furiously) ...Take that waste fool!
AN HOUR LATER
Kevin:Have you quite finished?
Chord:Ha I've sent untold number of messages to him and Destiny...choke on that ya cheatin hoebag!( turns his butt to the laptop screen and proceeds to moon at the screen with his custom-printed AMBER underwear)Do you think now that she's free from that moron miss-cedesjones would go out with me?
Darren:...I have no words...
Mark: I have plenty...lemme see...I think you done gone lost your fool mind time ago but this...I can't with you!Fuck this shit...someone call me a taxi!
Darren: Have you got Amber printed on every piece of underwear you own?
Kevin:Wait...what is this shit! WHAT IS THIS SHIT?
Chord: I may have auditioned for a roleplay...
Mark:Are you fucking tapped?
Kevin:What the hell?
Chord:It's way cool..its takes place on a soap opera set and I play an actor called Sam Evans who plays a character called Chord Overstreet...
Kevin: Holy Mary Mother of God (thwack round Chord's earhole) You are Chord Overstreet waste fool!
Darren:...Wait so you're Chord Overstreet...who plays..Sam Evans...whoplays...Chord...Overstreet...that's like way existential...
Mark:...I'm lost... is that like one of those things where the cat is in the box but you don't know whether its alive or dead cos you can't see it and therefore it doesn't exist? My brain hurts...I think I've just confused myself!
Chord:I've sent the link to Amber to apply for Mercedes Jones...
Kevin:Who let me guess plays Amber Riley?
Chord:YES!
(There is a horrendous flapping and cawing at the door making all the guys stop dead)
Mark: (jumps into Kevin's arms)Shit! Its the Chickenaitor!Fuck me! I gotta hide...I gotta hide...Grilled Cheesus save me!
Kevin: Just shut up and make like noone's home!
Emma:I know puk-puk-caak you're in there bwak Chord!
Chord:There's no one here but us chickens!
Kevin: (Thump)
Chord:Owww what was that for!
Emma: caaak-quaaak!Let me puk-puk-puk-cwaaaak in!
Chord:Fuck this shit...grabs phone and dials 1-800-chickenxterminator...Hello? Yeah can you send a chicken truck..yeah we got a rabid chicken...how rabid? On a scale of one to ten? I'd say a 12...ten minutes? Great!
Emma:puk-puk-puk ...pak-pwuk-cwak!
Ten minutes later the guys stand on the doorstep watching as the Chickenaitor is wrestled by 3 men into the chicken truck.
Chord:Don't forget to write Birdbitch!
Mark:Yeah send us an egg when you lay one!
Kevin: Say hi to that great Chicken in the sky!
Truck pulls off as Emma's chicken screeching can be heard off into the distance.
Mark:Where's it going?
Chord:Pet food canning factory...
Back at the laptop
Kevin:Bro, its time for an intervention..(snatches laptop away and Chord lunges for it and a tug of war ensues)
Chord:Give it back!
Kevin:It's for your own good!
Chord:Sadhappygirl!IXAMXDECADENCE!SHAEEEEE! LADY B!LOVE4CEDES!Somebody!AMMMMBEEEEER! HEEEEEELP! (laptop flies across the room snd lands hard on the floor.
Chord:! (runs to pick it up, cradling it like a baby) It won't switch on...it won't switch on!
Kevin:...
Chord:All my fics, my fan vids, my gifs...Amber! I WANNA DIE! Darren:I think you broke him, man!
Mark: (hugging Chord and patting his back) There, there baby bear...
Chord: (sobbing pulls out phone and dials a number)
Amber:Hello?
Chord: *sob*
Amber:Hello? Is that you Chord?
Chord: Kevin broke my computer...waaaaaaaaah!
Amber:...
Chord:waaaaaaaah!waaaaaah!
Amber:What in the name of hell is this link that you sent me?
Chord:Waaaa- oh wait, that's the link for Fire on Set rp! It's so cool Amber...you totally have to play Mercedes who plays a character called Amber! We could totally sex para and sex skype and sex text and sex mail and sex tweet!
Amber:...
Chord:Its way existant!
Darren:Existential, fool!
Amber: CHORD OVERSTREET ARE YOU DRUNK LINKING ME? IN THE WORDS OF LADY B HERSELF-AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT, FOOL! (click)
Kevin:Uh-oh it looks like Amber has discovered the glee forum...Chord what are you doing?You can't give mouth to mouth to a laptop!