Memories Vol. 2

By: Colleen Kiely

On the outside, especially in front of the Dark Lord, I was calm and emotionless but deep down I was extremely nervous and worried. My girlfriend and love of my life Colleen London was pregnant with my child. As happy as I was to be having a child with the woman I loved I was nervous for two reasons. One, this baby could not have been conceived at a worse time. With a war going on and with constant danger anywhere any injury to Colleen's womb could cause great harm to the baby or she could lose the baby and two I didn't know the first thing about being a father and what if I ended up doing what my father did to me? But I finally had the chance to start a family with Colleen and I wasn't about to let anyone take that away from me and I swear I will never be like my father.

The Dark Lord had made me headmaster of Hogwarts. I wanted Colleen to stay at Spinners End were it was more safe but Colleen wouldn't hear of it. In a way it wasn't as bad that she was with me because I could keep an eye on her and I wouldn't lose my head while I was away from her. I made her promise that if she came she would have to stay in the headmaster's office. We had the perfect plan to keep her hidden. Unless I am in the office she was to stay hidden either in our bed chambers or on the upper level of the office. I put protection on both rooms so even if someone were to come into the room they would not be able to see her. Also I put a strong sound proof charm on the rooms whenever I left and just to be safe if she's on the bottom floor she would transfigure herself into a book and stay near the bookcase. We also practiced our skills at memory charms so if anyone happened to see something we could wipe their memories. She was also no allowed to wear any sweet smelling perfume or soap because even with the protection they could still smell her.

I looked up at the portrait of Dumbledore on the wall. "Headmaster I'm following your orders and doing my best to protect the students" I said. The portrait of Dumbledore smiled. "Very good Severus and I hope you remember what you're doing next" said the portrait. I nodded. Very tired and strained I decided to head to bed. As I opened the door to my bed chamber I saw Colleen, her back to me, in another one of her short, lace nightgowns. This one was a soft yellow color. No matter how tired I was just looking at Colleen in her short nightgowns would get me going.

I walked over and wrapped my arms gently around her waist. I rested my chin on her shoulder and kissed her cheek. "Mmm… how are you feeling?" I asked. She smiled her bright smile and kissed my cheek. "I'm fine" she said. "Mmm… you know I'm technically your boss now" I said with a smirk gently grabbing the hem of her nightgown about to pull it up. "And I think a little time with your boss could do wonders for you". I began to pull up on the nightgown but she stopped me. "I'm sorry Sevy but I'm actually not in the mode tonight…I am actually really tired" she said. I frowned. "Oh bloody hell" I thought to myself but I didn't want to push her into something she didn't want to do, especially while she was pregnant. So far her one month of being pregnant has been easy but I knew as the months went on it would get harder. I kneeled down and gently pressed the side of my face against her stomach. I knew the baby was small and undeveloped to move but just the thought of our baby… my baby, growing inside her filled me with joy. She gently stroked my hair as I kissed her belly. I got up and removed my cloak going to get my nightshirt.

"How was your day?" Colleen asked as she slipped under the covers. I felt some of the happiness that has swelled inside me after feeling my love's belly started to disappear. "Horrible" I said. "But then again every day at this school nowadays is horrible" I said. I laid down beside her and pulled her close. "I feel bad for these kids, the Carrows are so brutal" she said resting her head against my chest. "I'm glad your headmaster or there would be so much more torture". "I promised Dumbledore I would protect these students the best I could and I plan on keeping that promise" I said holding her closer. "Did you have another meeting with you-know-who?" she asked looking up at me with worried eye. I shook my head no and she sighed with relief. Colleen hated it when I had meetings with the Dark Lord and the other Death Eaters. Its scares her that the Dark Lord will find out about everything and kill me, even with my Occlumency. I did my best to convince her that I would be fine but she doesn't believe me. I kissed her lips and closed my eyes, just wanting to fall asleep in her arms and not have to worry about anything for a bit. After about ten minutes of her running her fingers through my hair I fell into blissful sleep.

I woke with a start as I felt movement from beside me and the sound of hysterical crying. I sat up quickly and looked over. Colleen was hysterically crying, her head in her hands. I leaned over and pulled her close. She looked up at me; her eyes were bloodshot and full of tears. She cried into my chest, staining my nightshirt with her tears. "Shh, Shh sweetie what's wrong?" I asked holding her close rubbing her back. She shook her head and just continued to cry. "Colleen please, calm down and tell me what's wrong" I said. I hated seeing her this upset. Colleen pulled away from me and got up. She made a motion for me to follow and I followed her out into my office. Worry started to rush over me. Colleens arms, legs and face were all pale and ghostly and this was the first time I didn't know what was wrong or what to do.

Colleen walked over to the large cabinet in the corner of the room. She opened it and Dumbledore's pensive was inside. I watched Colleen put the tip of her wand to her temple, not even realizing she had grabbed it, and slowly started to extract a wisp of silvery substance and dropped it into the pensive. She took my hand and together we were both sucked into the silvery substance that was inside the pensive, into Colleen's memories.

When everything came in focus I saw Colleen, standing beside me, gripping my hand. I looked up and in front of us was a very large, old and run-down house. It looked like no one had lived inside it for years. I looked to my right and I saw a little girl, who looked no older than eight or nine. The little girl had long blonde hair and fair skin. She was also crying. The little girl started to walk towards the house. She walked up the stairs and onto the porch. She reached out her small hand and grabbed the doorknob. She opened the door and Colleen started towards the house and I followed her. We followed the little girl inside the house. She started to walk down a barely lit hallway inside the house till she reached another door. I wanted to yell out, tell the little girl to get out of here but I knew people in these memories couldn't hear or see us. She opened the door at the end of the hallway and it was a stairwell down to the basement. The little girl started to walk down the stairs and we followed.

The little girl stopped on the fifth stair from the bottom and peered around the wall that was keeping her and us from view. Two cloaked figures were standing in the middle of the floor in the room. One figure was holding a long knife and was cleaning what looked like blood of it while the other cloaked figure was picking something up off the floor that looked very much like a wand. "I'm getting tired of murdering people who come into the house" said the figure holding the knife in a gruff voice. "I enjoy it" said the other figure this time it was a woman's voice. "Watching their shocked faces when they see that spell for the first time, watching the light leave their eyes and then the sight of their blood spill when you cut their throats" she gave a loud chuckle that sent chills down my spine and cause Colleen to hold my hand even more tighter.

The little girl was gripping the railing and tears were running down her face. "Well I think it gets old after the fifth time, I don't know why the Dark Lord…" "Hush… do you hear that?" hissed the woman. The little girl's eyes grew wide. She went rigid on the spot. She grinned. "I think we have another visitor" said the woman. The little girl stood still for another second and then, without another thought, she broke into a run back towards the door. "Just where you think you're going!" screeched the woman as she appeared at the top of the stairs, blocking her way. The little girl quickly ducked under the woman's legs and ran. The woman shot Avada Kadavra at her. The little girl dodged the spells and ran as fast as she could away from the house.

After the memory had ended and I and Colleen had returned back to my office I looked at Colleen and just wanted to hold her close and never let her go. "Was that little girl you?" I asked already knowing the answer. "Yes" she said in a faint whisper. "A…After my father brought my sister's body back I…I just felt so guilty for not telling my parents about the dare, I wanted to go back, maybe catch the person who did it or find a clue or something, but when I saw that bloody knife and knowing it was my sisters blood I…I just …" she started to hysterically cry again. I quickly pulled her close and cradled her gently in my arms like a mother comforting her frightened child. "Shhh" I said softly holding her close, stroking her hair while she cried into my chest. "You couldn't have possibly known they were in there, you were just playing a game, and it wasn't your fault". I took her back into our chambers and laid her down on the bed. "S...Sev… I t…told my parents once I started school, they weren't angry or a…anything b...but I still have this guilt hanging over my head a…and if I couldn't protect my own little sister then h…how am I going to protect my own baby now?" she cried. "W…What if something like that happens to our child, I don't want to be over bearing b…but I don't want to be t…totally oblivious either". I gently wiped away her tears and kissed her forehead. "Enough of this Colleen, you were a child back then, even if you had gone there and tried to save her you wouldn't of stood a chance and neither of you would have survived, you'll be a wonderful mother Colleen because you're a kind and loving person and you'll love that baby more than anything and you know what it's like to lose someone and you'll be damn sure not to let it happen again" I said. "And I promise, right here, right now, I won't let anything happen to you or to our baby".

I started to see that sparkle return to her eyes. "Do you really think I'll be a good mother Sev?" she asked. I nodded. "Of course Colleen, you'll be a damn good model" I said holding her close. She giggled softly and leaned up kissing my cheek. "And you'll be a wonderful father" she said. Colleen had finally calmed down and curled up in my arms almost like a sleepy cat. "I hope I never have to see you like that again" I said kissing her cheek. "You scared me". She giggled softly again. "I scared the famous Severus Snape who fears nothing and no one?" she said hugging me. I kissed her lips and smiled a bit. "Yes don't ever do that again". Colleen closed her eyes and leaned against me. She fell asleep in my arms and I followed suit a few minutes after her.

"Exspecto Patronum" I whispered softly. The form of a silvery white doe sprouted from the tip of my wand. I watched as the doe walked out into the forest and towards the lake were I hid the sword of Gryffindor. Thought of Lily danced around in my head. I missed her so much. I wished she was here with me more than ever before. Before I had time to dwell on my lost love Potter made his way through the forest, following my doe. When he made it to the small lake and notices the sword of Godric Gryffindor was at the bottom I had to leave, before anyone knew I was missing.

I avaparated and quickly headed back to the castle. I was able to get inside without anyone noticing my absence. I quickly made my way down to my office and I had to get there quick, with Colleen being seven months pregnant she was getting bigger and her hormones were on edge a lot so I didn't like leaving her alone for too long if I could help it. I was just about to reach the statue when… "Headmaster!" I heard someone yell from behind me. "Damn" I said in my head turning around. Amycus Carrow was walking up to me holding Neville Longbottom by the scruff of his robes, his wand digging into the boy's neck. "What problem has Mr. Longbottem been causing now" I said in an annoyed tone looking down at them. I was more annoyed at the fact that they were keeping me from Colleen than Neville Longbottom just trying to be rebellious. "Why can't he handle this on his own" I said to myself. "He and his classmates were supposed to be practicing the crusiatus curse on the first years and this brat refused" he said pressing his wand even harder into Longbottom's neck. I looked at Neville and he just glared up at me. "Well Longbottom, for your insolence you and Hagrid will both go out into the forbidden forest and you're not allowed back inside until you have killed something and bring it back… without magic". A light frown came to the male Carrow's face. "Headmaster…um… if I could make a suggestion…what if I hex Longbottom here?" his grip becoming tighter on Neville. "Then he'll never disobey us again". "Silence Carrow!" I yelled. "Since you and your sister have failed to give this boy a punishment since you're the ones in charge of punishment and came to me about this then he will go into the forbidden forest and that's final" and with that I headed back to my office.

When I got back inside Colleen was asleep in the bed chambers. I sat beside her and gently ran my fingers through her now chocolate brown hair. Suddenly her eyes shot open and she shot up with a jolt and grabbed my wrist tight and lets out a scream. If she hadn't grabbed me I would have jumped back in fright. "Colleen what's wrong?" I yelled. Her nails started digging into my wrist. "Sev…the…the baby…is…" but before she could finish a large puddle formed in between her legs on the bed. Her water had broken, she was going into labor. I tried not to panic but when she started crying and holding her stomach I almost lost it. "We…we need to get you to St. Mugo's!" I yelled but as I went to pick her up she scooted away from me. "No Sev you can't…if you leave the castle with me someone might see you, you have to deliver the baby here!" she cried gripping the bed. This was something I didn't know how to do. "But…Colleen…I don't…" "Please Sev!" she cried harder. "Please, deliver our baby, I'll…I'll help you through it". I had to help her, she was right with the noises she was making we would definitely be found if I left with her, if she wanted me to deliver our baby I was going to damn bloody well deliver our baby.

Screams and cries echoed through my bed chambers. "Push Colleen!" I yelled and after one last push the cries of an infant were heard through the room. I used my wand to snip the cord and took the baby into the bathroom to clean him up and wrap him in one of the discarded sheets. "It's a boy" I said to myself. I held the little boy in my arms "you are my son" I said almost not believing what I had said. I smiled when he opened his eyes. Sparkling blue, just like his mother. He also had a small patch of black hair on top of his head. I brought the baby back into the room and sat down next to Colleen who had just come to. I kissed her forehead "you did great" I said. "W…Where's my baby?" she said breathlessly looking up at me. I handed the baby to her. "It's a boy" I said smiling. "We have a son". She smiled and held the baby close kissing his head. "He looks like you" she said kissing his nose. "But he has your eyes" I said with a soft smile. She held the baby close to her chest and nuzzled the top of his head. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It was like Colleen was born to be a mother. "We still need to name him" she said. "Well do you have a name in mind?" I said gently holding the baby's hand. "Well… I really like the name Troy" she said with a smile. "Troy Donald, after my father". "They Troy Donald it is then" I said. This was defiantly the best day of my life.

Colleen

Severus was out on a meeting with Voldemort and I was alone with Troy. These were the times I hated the most. The worst part was I had no one to go to at these times when Sev was gone. Everyone believed I was dead so I had to stay hidden. I gently rocked Troy holding him close to me. I leaned back on the bed's headboard and closed my eyes for a second. Then I remembered something that Sev had told me a few weeks ago. Upon my request I asked him to try and keep an eye on my friends like the Weasleys and the order. He told me that on April first my dear friend Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks had not only gotten married also had a baby boy. I wanted so badly to go see them and their baby. He was only a few days older than Troy. I wondered who he looked like, would he have Lupin's brown hair and kindly eyes or would he be a metomorphmagus like his mother.

That was it I couldn't take it anymore. I hoped up and grabbed my clock from the corner of the room. I was going to find a way to see my friends weather Severus liked it or not.

I had to be very careful if I was going to do this and I needed to be very quick about it. I needed to be there and back before Severus returned. I grabbed an old letter from the side drawer next to the bed that Lupin had sent me, a few months after him and Tonks had become an item that had the address he was staying at. I assumed since Tonks had just had a baby they were probably with her parents and not running around fighting. Now the only problem was how I and Troy sneak out of this castle without being seen. I thought about it for a minute and then it came to me, Sev had a broom, I remembered him telling me that he and the other death eaters had followed Harry on brooms when the order was moving him from his aunt and uncles to a safer place. Maybe it was still here. I snuck out into his office and looked around. "Accio Severus's broom" I said softly. At first nothing happened but then a broom came towards me from under Sev's desk" "Yes" I said catching it. I went back into the bedchambers were the windows could be opened. I opened the window as far as in could go and I mounted my broom holding Troy tightly in my other arm. I stuffed Lupins letter in my pocket and used my wand covering myself in an invisibility veil so I would not be seen. I kick off from the floor and flew out the window. I held onto Troy, not wanting to drop him. I was free, free from the confines of the castle. The cool night air was amazing against my face. I felt like I had no cares or worries in the world. I headed to Tonks parents' house.

After about 2 hours I finally landed at the address. I walked up to the small house. "Well here it is" I said to myself. I was nervous. What would they think when they saw me, knowing I was holding Sev's child in my arms? I knew that I had to tell them Sev wasn't bad like everyone believed but I couldn't tell them too much. I knocked on the door, holding my breath. After about a minute I didn't think anyone was home but then… "Hold on a minute" came a male voice. I looked up and Remus Lupin, my dear friend opened the door. "Hello" he said looking around. I removed my veil of invisibility. "Hello Remus" I said looking up at him. Remus looking at me for a few minute. He kept blinking as if he thought he was dreaming. "C…Colleen?" he said softly. I smiled and nodded. "It's nice to see you Remus, I've missed you" I said. Then he smiled, a few tears rolling down his scarred face. "Colleen your alive" he said and he hugged me close.

I hugged Remus for a few minutes, a few tears also forming in my eyes as well. "Oh Remus I'm sorry for putting you through this" I said. "It's ok Colleen I'm just glad to know you're ok" he said pulling away. Then he noticed the little bundle in my arm. "Colleen…why are you holding a baby?" he asked staring at Troy. "I'll explain everything in a sec…is Tonks here?" I asked. He nodded and took her inside. "I have to admit Colleen that you'll be shocked to see that there's a new Lupin in the house" he said smiling. I smiled brightly "really?" I asked pretending to be surprised; I didn't want him to know Sev was watching them. He nodded. "Tonks gave birth to a baby boy, his name is Teddy" he said. "Oh that's cute" I cooed. He opened the door to Tonks room. Tonks was laying on their bed holding a blue haired baby. She looked up and her face went into shock. She stared at me in disbelief till I talked. "Oh Tonks, he's beautiful" I said. She set the baby and down and ran over to me almost knocking me over with a hug. "Colleen your alive!" she cried. I hugged her back, the tears started flowing again. "Oh Tonks I'm sorry, I wish I had been here for you like I promised I would be" I said. She let got and gently held my face in her hands. "It's ok Colleen, I'm just so glad you're alive" she said.

I sat down on the corner of their bed. I explained everything to them. How Severus was doing everything under Dumbledore's order, how we had planned my fake death and how the baby I was holding was his. I expected them to question me more but Tonks immediately had taken Troy from my arms. "Oh… Colleen he's so cute" she said holding both Teddy and Troy. I smiled as Lupin and Tonks gushed over my sleeping baby. "C…can I hold Teddy?" I asked. Tonks nodded and handed Teddy to me. I cradled him in my arms. He had blue hair and when he opened his eyes and smiled at me I saw he had Remus's eyes. "Oh… he takes after you" I said to Tonks rocking him. She smiled and nodded. Remus looked over at me after gently running his head over Troy head. "Colleen, will you be Troy's godmother?" he asked. I looked over at Remus and just stared at him. "A...are you serious Remus?" I asked. He nodded. "You've been a great friend to both me and Tonks and you're a wonderful woman, I would be honored if you'd be Teddy's godmother, I already asked Harry to be his godfather". I smiled and nodded. "Of course, I'd be honored to be his godmother" I said. I scooted over and we all embraced in a group hug. After I pulled away I noticed the clock on the wall. "Oh no I need to get back to the castle" I said.

After a tearful goodbye I hopped back onto my broom and flew back to the castle with Troy with thought of how I was going to not only spoil my son but my new godson Teddy Lupin. I arrived at the castle and slipped back in through the window. I looked around and thankfully Sev hadn't returned yet. My trip had exhausted me so I put Troy in his makeshift crib and went over to the bed and I fell asleep within minutes.

Of course the next morning after Sev noticed his broom wasn't in the same spot so he read my mind without me realizing it and found out I left to go see the Lupins. We shouted and yelled at each other with him screaming about how I shouldn't have risked my lives for them witched ended with me in tears. He apologized a bit after but begged me never to do that again and I promised. Even though I knew I had put both myself, my son and Severus in danger I was glad I had done it. I got to see my best friends again and became godmother to their son.

The End

To be continued…