SHIZUKA'S DIARY

Even when he told me he loved someone else it didn't stop me from thinking about him every day and every night, with still a candle burning in my heart.

I know what it is like to love someone deeply, madly, truly (as the song goes), I know what it is like to love someone so much that it feels like you'd die without them but for some reason I didn't believe Naruto had fallen that far for such a girl. Sakura, what was so special about her? She was nothing special about her, she showed no love for Naruto, and a very low value of friendship for the blonde boy.

I could tell from his big, sparkling blue eyes that this 'love' he spoke about wasn't love, let alone true love, but lust, amity and a childish crush. He didn't know what he was talking about. But, then again, do I, myself, even know what I'm talking about at this very minute?
I didn't know him that well, but yet I felt something for him very deep. He reminded me, in a way, of the love I once had and lost, so I guess all those unused, lonely feelings that had been floating around the memory of my old flame all glued them to him, as if desperation had taken over; the desperation to be loved again. Apparently, but heart, head and survival instincts believed Naruto was perfect to fill the mental hole in me.

It has been four years now, and nothing has changed. Surely four years of not speaking to him should be enough for me to forget the blaze I hold for him? But I guess just a lack of speech wasn't enough. I saw him. I saw him in battle, I caught a glimpse of him when I was looking out into his village secretly. He was pretty far away, just an ant, just a speck, but I knew it was him, my heart knew it was him, there was no question. It was Naruto. And that, just the mere, far away sight of him, was enough for me to keep loving him all this time.

Pathetic.

Maybe it was just a crush, but I had no other love interest so my heart had pinned itself firm to him. But I knew he wasn't interested. So I built myself into the ultimate woman. Fashion, body, mind, it all, I transformed it all. Now I can stand in front of that blonde god as a confident, beautiful woman who would have him on his knees pleading for my touch, my voice, my eye contact.

Fashion. Tighter clothes, that told so much but hid a lot, give me the mysterious look. A tiny bit of cleavage as to grab the boys' attention, but not so much that I look like a 'toy'; just enough for them to notice me and then question me. I have a lot of leg on show though, but boys like a girl's long, slender legs. If my boobs don't grab Naruto's eyes then the legs will. I now where tight, black leggings, with a midnight blue skirt with slits up the side so I can move freely in battle. It all leaves mystery but reads sexy all over... I still wear the same tops I've worn for years, only I turned the front neck lines into a love heart shape.

Body. I've built myself a body that is feminine but strong all at once. My body is nicely toned and tough when squeezed, but with a curvaceous shape. I built myself so I can project myself, to show everyone that I am a confident girl, but at the same time a girl who doesn't need a boy standing in front of her for protection. I will never be that type of girl, not even if my life depended on it! I've taken good care in my appearance, making sure my skin is soft and smooth and luscious. It's just a little thing, but it makes a wonderful difference.

Mind. I've built up my confidence, though I have to admit that I am still kind of quiet, But I do officially walk round in the 'I don't care what anyone thinks' mode. I never give up on anything, even when too, even when it's most likely that'll die if I don't give up, and I see loosing as just another lesson, not a fail in anyway or form.

I am the ultimate woman!
At least I hope I am… Every man has a different taste in girls right? But I'm sure about 99% of the guys in this world would be attracted to me, like I said, I'm the ultimate woman! I guess I just have to hope Naruto isn't that 1% that won't like me. But if he is, I'll find a way to change that! There is always a way!

It's been four official years in the making of me, and now I feel I am ready to show off my finished creation to the reason of its making.

I'm traveling to Konoha to find Naruto and win him. Actually, would it better for him to win me?
Maybe I should go in there, flaunt my stuff, grab the blonde's attention, you know, flirt a bit, and then when I'm sure he's interested I can play a little hard to get so he won't take me for granted. I'm sure he wouldn't do that, but you can never be sure.

I've been daydreaming this day for so long, and now it hardly feels real. I had been traveling the usual ninja way, but now I'm just walking. Not running or jumping etc etc etc…. Just walking, just drifting along in a daydream. I've memories this journey to make sure I never get lost of anything. I can't too far now, I'm sure I'm pretty close to my destination, but in a way I'm trying to think of it as far away.

I'm scared
I'm worried
I'm nervous

But that is all normal, right? In a way I'd love to turn back and get rid of this sickening feeling in my stomach and the pounding head ache in my head, but like I stead earlier- I never give back and I never turn back! I am a winner and I shall win my prize and nothing will stop me!

NARUTO'S DIARY

….

Tired.

If I do more day of training I swear I'll die.
Of course, there is a good reason or this training! If want to become Hokage then I've got be strong and tough and I can only be that if I train!
Well, what I mean is that I already am, but a little bit more strength and toughness could be the difference in me coming or not coming Hokage…

I need this! I want to follow in my father's footsteps- not including the dying part…
Er, I mean I'm gunna stay around longer then he did, since he kind of died to save me. Not saying I wouldn't sacrifice myself for someone I loved, or in his case, child, but I don't want to die… And I don't have a kid since I'm only 19… You get the point, anyway-

I stumbled into my house and collapsed on the sofa, letting out a low groan as the pain in my back zaps as I hit the cushions. I'm in so much pain it's ridiculous. I've pulled muscles in my legs, arms, and I think in my stomach- I don't know, I'm not a doctor, I'm a ninja!- and it feels like every bone in my body is wearing away very, very slowly. Even my jaw hurts from having Sai punch in the face more times than I can remember!

"Never let your guard down!" he keeps laughing at me as I lie on the ground, blood dribbling out my nose and mouth "You have as much guard as the length of your penis… You're a girl right?"

I did swing punches back to defend my dignity, but he blocked them most of the time. Dickhead… I preferred it when he used to hit on me, declaring he was just trying to be a good friend, instead of him making jokes about my manhood.
I tried to bring back my dignity by yelling at him-
"I'm a girl, eh? Go ask Sakura! She knows I am defiantly not a girl!"

Well, it made him loose his guard, but I guess I lost my too since Sakura, who had been observing the fight, pounced on me, sending me back to the floor and began beating me in the face.

"Don't!" punch
"Flaunt!" punch
"This!" smack
"Re!" jab
"-Lation!" punch
"-Ship!" smack
"You!" punch
"Bastard!" PUNCH

Lesson learnt: don't show off any sexual relationship you have with a girl when you have agreed to lie low on it, even if your dignity is on the line.

Well, Sai knows about me and Sakura now, but that's it. We just have to hope Sai won't blab to the whole village. I made a note of it that I should really apologise to Sakura on the way home.

"You should sleep more" she told me as we strolled to our 'dwellings' as I like to call them "It will help your body to repair itself"

"I'll try, but I think what I need is a day off" I laughed, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Well, think of this way, you only have tomorrow left and then you have a day of rest!" She smiled

"Yeah I guess" I sighed "All this training is killing me, I swear!"

Sakura shook her head tiredly.

The smiled I had been holding on my face fell. I bit my lip before speaking nervously.

"Listen" I began with an apologetic voice "I'm really sorry about earlier…"

Sakura sighed heavily, annoyed look on her face "I wish you could keep your big mouth shut for one bloody moment" she hissed through gritted teeth, her eyes on the gravel we walked on. "But I guess I'm glad you're sorry…" she gave me a small, 'I-really-shouldn't-put-up-with-you' smile.

"I really am sorry, I-"

"Stop apologising, it's really annoying" she groaned rolling her eyes, picking up speed with irritation.

I gritted my teeth and turned my hands in to tight, angry fists "HEY! AT LEAST I'M SORRY!" I yelled angrily, freezing on the spot.

"You shouldn't have to BE SORRY!" She roared, whizzing round to face me "You shouldn't have done it in the first place-"

I guess apologising isn't always enough for her. I ended up using the last of my energy when she pulled me into her house. I love doing that kind of stuff… you know the kind of stuff… But I was so tired I actually tried to talk my way out of it.

It didn't work.

I guess it doesn't matter since we did it and she then told me to head of home to get sleep. Well, she ordered me to leave, she wasn't clear about reasons... It didn't matter, I was happy to go! I struggled home tiredly, and fell on my sofa just as sleep was about to take me out.

I have to put up with a lot of things when it comes to Sakura.

But I guess that's love isn't it?