Kitty Note: So I was listening to the song Pretty Boy Swag by Soulja Boy (plz don't ask me why i was listening to that song) while reading Sexyback by rescue and this idea dawned on me. This is supposed to be humourous so here you go. This is in Sakura's POV

Pretty Boy Swag

Oneshot

Revised: 6/14/12

I was walking around ton with Hinata. I'm surprised on how much more outgoing she is now compared to her old shy self. No more stuttering. My and the Pig's work is done... well almost. She still hasn't asked Naruto out yet.

"Ano, Sakura-chan?" she asked. "Yeah Hina?" I answered. "I'm going to do it." she said.

Hold up! Hold up! Run that back.

"Excuse me?" Hinata smiled. "I'm going to do it Sakura-chan. I'm going to ask Naruto-kun out." Well what can I say to that but:

"FINALLY!" That caused several of the villagers to stare at us. "Shh! Sakura-chan! I don't want the whole village to know. I want it be a surprise!" the Hyuuga said. I nodded but I can barely contain my excitement.

"Sakura-chan?" she asked again. "What about you and Sasuke-kun."

Oh. Him.

Wait! Wait a minute! Sasuke-kun? What happened to Uchiha-san?

"When have you been so familiar with him?" I asked. Hinata blushed. "W-well I-I have been hanging out w-with Naruto-kun more often a-and S-Sasuke-kun h-has always b-been t-there." she squeaked.

Okay maybe she stutters when she gets really nervous. Need to work on that.

"So in reality you've been hanging out with Sasuke behind my back?" I asked. Hinata gulped. "Ino has been too!" she shrieked.

Damn you Pig. Such a bad influence. I'll kill her later.

I started to storm away. I grabbed Hinata's wrist. "Sakura-chan where are we going?" she asked.

"Naruto's house. We're going to pay him a little visit."

We were on the doorstep of Naruto's house. "Um S-Sakura-chan. I-I m-must really be g-getting h-home n-now. F-father-" I rolled my eyes. "Hinata that excuse won't work anymore. You moved out the Hyuuga residence. Remember?" I heard Hinata muttered something that sounded a lot like...

"DAMMIT!"

Yeah that. Except not so loud and boyish sounding.

"DAMN YOU TEME I WAS LISTENING TO THAT SONG!"

Wait Sasuke's here? EWW! -insert disgusted look here-

"You were listening to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun?" What the hell Naruto? Well he can turn into a girl so I guess he can sing that song...

"In a matter of fact Hinata we can go. It seems that Naruto's busy and-" This time Hinata cut me off. "You only want to leave because Sasuke's here." she stated bluntly.

Hinata you know me so well.

"Besides this is my chance." she said. Ugh, Hinata if I wasn't so excited for you confessing I would have left.

Soon a song came on.

'Soldier,Soldier'

Wait I know this song.

'This right here is my swag'

But that's not Soulja Boy's voice. "Sakura-chan is that Sasuke's voice?" Hinata asked. "Let's find out." Hinata and I used our super duper awesome ninja skills to get into the house

You want to know what we did?

We -insert drum roll here-

Walked through the front door.

What? Don't look at me like that. It was unlocked. God I didn't pick the lock like Ino would. I am not a stalker like she is. Yes she stalks people. Now can we get back on topic please? Thank you. 'You're the one who stranded off topic' Shut up Inner!

The two men, Well I wouldn't really call Naruto a man. He acts as if he is six years old. Hinata what do you see in him? Well anyway the two guys didn't notice we walked in so we headed to the living room where the music was playing.

Then I saw him.

Yeah him. Dancing and singing to Pretty Boy Swag. What. The. Hell?

'This right here is my Pretty Boy Swag'

I can understand Naruto doing this but Sasuke? Wait what is that on his face? It's not a smirk. It's like an upside down frown.

'That's a smile idiot. Shut up you! I knew that. 'No you didn't' Well sorry that I can't put Sasuke and smile in the same sentence. Sheesh I know I'm not the only one.

Wait a minute! Uchiha freaking Sasuke is singing and dancing to Pretty Boy Swag while smiling? Wait don't forget the strutting... The only thing that would make this even weirder if he was wearing Lee's spandex. Oh Sakura don't jinx yourself...

That is not the Sasuke I know. Mhmm. -insert groovy ghetto head and finger movements- maybe's he's drunk...

'You have to admit babe, he looks sexy.' Didn't I tell you to shut up? He doesn't have any swag to begin with. Talking about Pretty Boy Swag. He wishes. Anyway back to the issue. He is smiling? And dancing? And singing? And strutting? My brain is about to burst.

"Ano, Sakura-chan you don't look so good." Hinata commented. "I'm okay." I whispered but continued to inspect the scene. Soon Naruto came up and started to sing and dance. Hmm this is good blackmail. -insert evil grin-

'Get out the way. Pretty Boy coming through.'

Oh gosh please never strut like that again Naruto.

'Me and my crew we swaggin in the room'

What crew Sasuke? FYI: NOBODY LIKES YOU! 'You just called yourself a nobody babe' SHUT UP!

'Girls on my heavy cause I look so sexy'

Naruto if you ever do that again I will- Oh gosh Hinata please don't faint!

Thud!

"What was that?"

God dammit!

Sasuke came into our hiding place. Which was the hallway in front of the living room. We didn't have time to find one. 'In other words you forgot to' I wanted to sound smart Inner. 'Then you're not doing a very good job.'

He smirked. "Te, didn't know you were stalking me Sa-ku-ra." Did he really have to purr my name like that? I mean what is he a cat? Well he is related to cats... wait HOLD UP! HOLD UP! Did he just say I'm stalking him?

"Me? Stalking you? Not hardly. I leave the stalking to Ino-pig." I said. "Hey Sakura's here?" Naruto asked. "How did she get in?" Idiot you left the door open. The blond came into the hallway. "Why is Hinata sleeping." he asked.

I facepalmed. "She's not sleeping. She.. kind of fainted... while watching you to dancing to Pretty Boy Swag." Oh my gosh now I sound like a stalker. "How long have you guys been there?" the duck butt asked. "Since you guys started..."

Sakura you have a long career in stalking people ahead of you.

"So you liked the show." Wait what? "NO!" I yelled as I blushed. Curse you hormones! "Well I'm sorry I'll have to end it here." Did he not here my previous comment? He has downgraded to a deaf chicken butt. I grinned.

Let me show you the list he downgraded.

My future lover... ew
The person who broke my heart
The person who left
The missing-nin
The person who came back
That one dude
Chicken butt
Deaf Chicken butt

Funny that he was once my future lover. That is very disturbing.

"Oh well. I'm still posting this on YouTube!" I pulled out my pink phone. "Later sucker!" I yelled running out the door. Then I heard him yell:

"SAKURA!"

Te, now I feel like Alvin. And Sasuke's Dave. Oh well. To my house I go!

Then I felt myself get pinned to a wall. Motha f- 'Babe watch your language.' I was going to say Fletcher.

A pair of obsidian eyes looked back at me. "Sa-ku-ra." he purred. Ugh, not the purring again. 'You know you like it.'Will I ever be free of you? 'Nope. I'm here 24/7 all your life' Damn you! 'I love you too Babe' Eep! That bite hurt. Wait was that on my neck?

"AAH! VAMPIRE!"

"I'm not a vampire." he stated. Really? I could of swore I've seen him sparkle in the sun before. But that could of been sweat. Eh. Then he poofed away. What the hell? I tried to move but I was tied to a wall.

Wait is that even possible?

Sasuke was sitting on the curb with a pink object in his hand. Wait is that my phone? Damn him! There goes my blackmail. -sulk- He poofed away again and I was once again pinned on the wall by the Duck ass. "Where were we?" he asked.

"The part when you purred my name and was probably about to rape me." He rolled his eye put leaned closer to me.

"Sakura, you don't know how many things I can do to you right now." Wait what. Why I outta! This f- 'Babe.' I was going to say freaking. Will you give me a chance to finish the sentence first?

"I've been lusting over you for some time now." Whoa whoa whoa. Lusting? Over me? Eep! He bit my neck again. I'm beginning to doubt that he's not a vampire. Great I'm going to have a hickey on my neck. What the hell?

He kissed me! Uchiha Sasuke kissed me without my okay! Uh uh not on my watch! -insert groovy finger movements-

I kicked him where the sun don't shine. He keeled over in pain. I smirked. I started to walk back to get Hinata. I see her and Naruto talking about something.

"N-n-naruto-kun will you go out with me?" she asked timidly. Say yes Naruto or else I will come to your house and cut off your-

"Sure Hinata-chan!" Good he said yes. Hinata smiled and blushed.

"So... you wanna make out?" What the hell Naruto? Why would you ask that? Stupid.

"Sure." And the two started to make out.

...

...

...

That was the most jacked up ask out I have ever seen. Well time to kill Ino-pig for tainting Hinata's pureness.

"Hey Sa-ku-ra." I heard Sasuke say. When I got back I saw that he had got back up.

"Mind if I come over tonight?" He asked. Yes I do. I do very much. Why? Cause I hate you and your chicken butt hair.

"Why?"

"I want to see you Pretty Girl Dip."

Maybe one more little kick in the balls wouldn't hurt so much. Then I'll go kill Ino-pig for tainting Hinata's pureness.

Kitty Note: Well that was horrible. Sadness. Well review at my horrible attempt at humour!

Kitty Note 2: I revised it. Added a little more parts to it. So I hope it's better than the first copy.