HnG: Ecchi Gaiden

A Hayate the Combat Butler collection

By

EvilFuzzy9

WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.

(...or not?)

Ecchi Drabble Nineteen:

Life's Too Short to Hold in All of Your Complaints! Go on and Bitch to Your Heart's Content!

"Eh?" said Hayate, staring at the script in his hand. "He really wants to do another chapter for this Ecchi Gaiden? Eh? Shouldn't he be working on one of his ongoing fics?"

Nagi, dressed in skimpy, transparent lingerie next to him, nipples poking up through the sheer, barely-existent swatches of fabric which covered them, shrugged. Her groin was perfectly visible through crotchless G-string underwear.

"He probably feels like he needs to do more for our series, with all the work he's been putting into Gintama recently," mused the blonde tsundere. She scowled. "What have they got that we don't?" she muttered mutinously, shooting a baleful glance at the fourth wall.

"Ah, that's probably a dangerous question to be asking, milady..." Hayate said, sweatdropping a little bit. He himself was dressed in just a white fundoshi, the considerable bulge in the front making it all too evident what he was packing in there.

"Aside from that, though, isn't there something else he should be working on for our series...?" murmured Maria meaningfully. She was dressed in a scanty set of frilly, black and white bra and panties. The top greatly emphasized the young maid's moderate cleavage, masterfully lifting and separating her pale, milky mounds. Round, nicely toned buttocks peered out from either side of the thin strip of cloth that constitute her panties, the front stuck in a distinctly obscene camel toe.

Hayate sweatdropped again.

"Ah, yes, that's true..." he said sheepishly. "That other one... As it is Written..." A stirring was evident in his loincloth, the bulge swelling a little for more than one reason.

Nagi pouted, blushing and crossing her arms over her cutely flat chest.

"Hmph," she muttered. "It's taken that dummy ten chapters of that before he's even THOUGHT about getting to me and Maria." She scowled, glowering balefully at no one in particular. "We're main characters, right?! Aren't we?"

"Ara?" said Maria, smiling sweetly. "Don't tell me you've been reading that. Even if our manga has been going for several years, you're still only fourteen, milady~"

Nagi paled, and she pointedly refused to meet her maid's gaze.

Hayate sighed.

"Well, now he's even started putting that same warning in here, starting with this chapter..." he muttered. "You know, that catch-all porn disclaimer of his?"

"Ah?" said Maria dangerously. "But that would imply he plans for this chapter to be pornographic. I cannot allow that. Milady is much too young for something like that."

Nagi pouted.

"If we aged in real-time, I'd be like twenty by now!" she protested. "Do you know what it's like being stuck at this awkward age for so long, Maria?! Eh!? If I had it my way, me and Hayate would have already done this and that and the other thing years ago! You're lucky! You're already practically an adult! When am I gonna get boobs, darn it?! I'm tired of being so flat-chested!"

Maria sweatdropped.

"Ara? Milady, after complaining about the author doing so much with Gintama..." she murmured.

"...you're doing some awfully Gintama-esque ranting right now..." said Hayate slowly.

"I can't help it!" Nagi whined. "It's that stupid Fuzzy's fault! He's been rewatching that series, yet he hasn't even caught up on our manga! What the heck?! Where are his priorities, dammit!?"

Hayate scratched the back of his neck.

"Well, Fuzzy is a really ardent supporter of me and Nishizawa-san, right?" he said. "As a couple, that is. So I guess it can be hard for him to get through the chapters..."

"That's a terrible reason!" snapped Nagi. "What kind of half-assed romanticism is that, huh?! Get real, buddy! AyuHaya is never gonna happen, dammit!"

Hayate sweatdropped. "Ah... what a cold way to say it..." he murmured.

"Mm, but if Hinagiku wins, then there's always that, right?" said Maria. "You know, that option..."

Hayate blushed beet red.

"Ara?" he said. "You don't mean... OT3?!" he yelped.

Nagi scowled darkly. "That assumes she'll win, though!" she snapped. "Who says Hinagiku will win!? I'm the heroine of this series, right...?!"

Hayate and Maria sweatdropped in unison.

"Ah..." said the former. "I can only think of one series that would have such a belligerent neet as a protagonist..."

A temple throbbed in Nagi's forehead.

"Hey!" she snapped. "Don't compare me to that stupid naturally-wavy haired jerk! I have way more appeal than he does...!"

"Yes, but that kind of appeal..." said Maria softly. "...is kind of dangerous for a lady your age, isn't it...?"

They glanced out the fourth wall, to see a number of horny nerds ogling their extremely lewd state of dress.

Nagi scowled, trying in vain to preserve her modesty before a dozen sets of leering eyes.

"I hate Fuzzy so much."

Hayate and Maria nodded in agreement.

A/N: Hehe, so there was actually no sex of any kind in this... Nagi was seriously channeling Gin-san here, I think. XD

Updated: 2-21-14

TTFN and R&R!

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