And now its my pleasure to bring you " In Her Perfect World." Yay.

Enjoy

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or Ulquiorra or any character that I did not make up.

Learning that you got hit by a car after a wild night of partying, put in a coma for two months, then announced crazy by trauma caused to the head from the car, really puts things into perspective. Like why Mom and Dad called me everyday same time after classes to ask if I was feeling ok, or why Robert my best friend drove me everywhere I needed to go. Even the reason why the girl sitting next to me was eyeing me anxiously like I was going to jump up and end her face or something.

Granted the first two reasons were on account of my injury, they were worried about me, they had every right to be. I guess. But the third was probably because I reeked of creepy or something. Which was probably why she left a whole seat open next to me, why everyone left a space between me and them.

A cold familiar chill went down my spine, that was another thing that happened a lot lately. I was always cold, but I didn't mind it. I preferred not to wear a jacket, or long sleeves, the cold made me feel safe for some reason.

" Time is almost up," the professor announced. His marker moved across the smart board, leaving the phrase, Nothing is True Everything is Permitted. " Analyze this saying, examine it to its fullest. Next week a four page paper in ALA format is due in my email on this phases origin, importance and meaning to you." He checked his watch, " And with that time is up."

The woman beside me stood, then hurried in the opposite direction her stuff nearly falling out of her arms. I watched her go along with everyone else before I stood up.

" Molly," he Professor called.

I turned in his direction. " Come here for a second," he said.

I traveled down the steps to face Professor Wiley. He was a fairly average man, with a receding hairline and glasses that made his eyes look like large bugs under a microscope, his pants were always up to high for my liking, but he was good man from what I could tell.

" Yes," I said feeling that cold shiver again go down my spine.

He lifted up a paper from a stack on his desk then started to flip through it. " I was grading these," he said. " And yours caught my attention. Last week was the sinidqence of dreams, what they meant to you and a slight introduction to your own dreams."

I nodded remembering the assignment.

" Well on your paper, you wrote not about the death of loved ones, or some personal gain. But the fear of losing something terrible, of a losing a monster that you loved. Can you explain that to me?"
I considered what he was asking for a moment. Which was the universal question, the one my parent's asked me, the one my Counselor asked me. The question I asked myself. Who was that terrible creature I was so afraid of loosing in my dreams?

He was usually dark, winged, horned, and covered in despair. His eyes were a intense green that stared at me with such fierceness that I shook, and cried, but I sensed no ill-will from him. He didn't want to hurt me, it was like he wanted me to take away his sadness. In most of my dreams he stood in front of me, his wings unfolded, long tail moving around me before curling around my hands to bind them.

He would then pull me forward, not close enough for me to touch it but not to far away that it could not receive me if It must. The thumbs on his bat like wings latched together creating a barrier around me that I could not escape from, not that I wanted to escape.

He was surrounded by so much sadness, so much grief, yet his expression never changed. I was always the first to move forward, to release my own hands and reach out to touch his face. To run my fingers across the curve of cheek, the angle of horn. Then down the black cyan lines that crusaded down its face. Before its green eyes widened and slowly it faded away, starting at the wings, up from its legs to its hands until nothing was left.

I woke up screaming after those dreams, crying and cold. All of this I explained in my paper, now Professor Wiley wanted a answer I did not have.

" I don't know," I said. " Only that that is the dream I have almost every night."

He nodded accepting this as an answer. I suddenly wished everyone else was this accepting, that they didn't see me as a lunatic for dreaming of a terrible monster I didn't want to let to of.

" Reading this paper, you made it sound like you were in love with this creature." Wiley said, his bug eyes turned to me. I gripped my stuff to my chest. In love…I haven't been in love with anyone…

" I don't know about that either," I said. " Honestly I wouldn't take any of that seriously, you said so yourself in one of your lectures that dreams often don't make any sense, its just the subconscious way of expressing its own imagination."

" Yes," he said slowly. " But I also said dreams are interpretations of fears or wants we are too afraid to say ourselves."

I bit my lip at that. So he was calling me crazy?

" Don't take it seriously," I repeated. My voice sounded cracked and hollow and it was terribly hard to breathe. " I have to go," I said in the next minute dismissing myself. He didn't try to stop me which I was happy for.
Once out of the classroom I pressed myself up against the nearest wall in the first corner I saw, slid down still I was on my butt and laid my forehead between my knees.

I had to visit my Counselor in less than one hour, and already one more person in the world thought I was a complete psycho.

" Have you had anymore dreams?" India my Councilor asked me.

" No," I said. This was a lie, I did have another dream. Waking up screaming and crying was proof of that.

" And your friends, have they come back to speak to you?"

" No," I said.

She took a deep breath, folded her clipboard in her lap then leaned towards me. " Molly, being obstinate is not helping you any. Your parents hired me to help you. You do not want to be labeled at as a mental case I understand that, the faster we get this done the less time you have to see me." She smiled at me, her red lipstick reminded me of blood.

"We'll still be friends right? You promised no matter what we would still be…"

" Right," I said perking up. " The dreams always start with me surrounded in darkness."

Joel took me our apartment immediately after my counseling session. I was in a foul mood the moment I walked out of office so any attempts at talking were flushed the minute I jumped in his truck.

The apartment was originally Joel's, but since we both were attending the city's college, and the idea of staying home with my mother and father made me cringe. After much argument, bible throwing and talk of unwanted pregnancy they finally gave in and let me stay with Joel.

Two bedroom one bath so it was pretty spacey. Well it had to be seeing how it was Lor and John's old apartment before it was Joel's.

I took cold shower , dressed then went straight to my room. Joel was cooking, like always. Smelled like baked chicken tonight. I ignored the ache in my belly and instead focused on sleeping.

Sleeping wasn't happening as long as Joel had anything to say about it. " Should we add anorexia nervosa to your list of assumed things wrong with you?" Joel said his broad shoulders taking up most of the door frame. I gave him a look from between my arms.

" Fuck you." I said.

" That sounded like food who," Joel said laughing. The bed shifted as he sat down beside me. I felt his strong hand on my back.

" Trauma caused by injury to the head," I said. " That's what my file said."

Joel's eyebrows curled. " How did you…?"

" She walked out to get me a soda, I snuck a look." I hesitated. " Their trying to put me on meds Joel. Real meds like the stuff crazy people take."

" You don't know that for sure," Joel replied but he refused to look me in the eye. Sighing I turned over on my back so my eyes faced the ceiling.

" Just tell me the truth, I'm crazy."

" That would be lying," Joel said. I turned to him hope in my eyes. " Your insane."

Picking up the pillow I hit him with it. Laughter, our laughter filled the room. I stopped laughing before he did. " I know what I saw," I said. " What I see."

" Molly…"

" Those dreams I have, its like someone, something is reaching out for me. They want me to remember something, to save them from something…" I found myself lost in my own world, in the world or darkness where the figure stood. My hands shook followed by my shoulders then my whole body. Not from fear, but the feelings that surrounded me in my dreams. " So sad…" I whispered.

Joel was hugging me then, pressing my face into his shoulder. He did this sometimes, usually after he woke me up screaming. His hands went to he back of my head. Tear ran down my cheeks.

" You think I'm crazy don't you?" I asked still staining his shirt.

He didn't answer, just hugged me harder.

Darkness. I could taste it as it surrounded me, yet instead of be afraid like all other times I embraced it. He arose moments later, as terrible as I remember him. Wings unfolded, seeping darkness, and loneliness and despair. Fur lined the place where elbow met arm, groin to feet, which were clawed. His skin was white, cyan lines stained the skin under his eyes like makeup run, a hole sat in the middle of his chest as if his heart had been ripped from his very chest.

He did not move, he never did. Instead I stepped forward, his tail curled around my hands, his wings curled around me, locking at the thumbs. I looked up at him, into the emotionless green eyes, his top lip which was black, in a desperate attempt to fasten this all to my mind.

Yet the dreams always ended the same, him fading away. I tried to move my hands, he held them still.

"Who are you?" I said. " Why do I see you every night, what are you trying to tell me?"

No answer, his eyes never left mine. The fading had started. I struggled against him. Screaming now. " Please at least tell me your name."

His mouth opened. " There is nothing but despair," he said. His voice as just emotionless as he eyes, it filled me with longing and dread.

His feet disappeared.

" Please?" I was crying now.

" Everything is despair."

" Please. Just your name. Give me something to work with."

But I knew, why was I asking. I knew who he was. He was as familiar to me as Joel or my Mom or Dad, as familiar as my brother.

" Ulqu…Ulqui…Ulquiorra!" I said.

His green eyes widened, the grip his tail had around my hand tightened. His clawed hands rose and gripped my shoulders. For a moment I really was frightened he would kill me. Then his hands faded into dust, following his tail. I reached out with desperate hands touching his fading face, trying to claw away the anguish.

" It is not enough," he said before he burst into a cloud of dust.

I screamed.

" Molly! Molly!"

I opened both eyes. Joel sat in front of me, eyes wide fingers locked around both my shoulders. I felt new tears on my cheeks.

" God, he's killing you," Joel said moving in to hug me. I pushed against his chest.

" Ulquiorra," I whispered.

" What?"

" His name," I said. " His name is Ulquiorra, he's alive. I knew I wasn't crazy." I cast my gaze around the darkened room, for once I wasn't afraid of what lay within it. " He's alive and he needs my help."

Ulquiorra

They'd sent him back where he came from, back to the starving wasteland he once called home. No fitter punishment could there be than to have him wonder without purpose, without cause.

He'd sault at first to follow the girl, provide her protection. Those plans he should have known were unrealistic.

Now here he stood, as alone as he once was, although he stood surrounded by those who claimed to serve him.

He was now King of Hueco Mundo. By obligation, not by choice.

As the leader of the Shimigami had so bluntly put it, each realm needed someone to rule, in order to create balance. That was the purpose of all beings of course, balance. Hollows although unnatural balanced the population of both living and non-living souls, Shimigami balanced the number of hollows, and humans existed to both feed the hollows, die adding to the soul society and give something for Shimigami's to protect.

" We will keep the passage between the human and Hueco Mundo free for you to travel without interference, only as long as you do as you say you will," The Shimigami leader explained. " Where I do not fully understand your relationship with this girl, I will grant you this passage only on account of seeing her."

Orders from a Shimigami, it sickened him. Yet what other choice did he have. Any contact with her in any form was not allowed. That too was ground for having his passage cut off. Her memory had been erased, what little reistu she had left after their separation was suppressed. She knew nothing but that of a normal human girl's life now.

Only now she was rejecting even that. She struggled against the bonds that held her memories and powers down. She claimed what was true, only to be denied and labeled insane by an injury that was never true in the beginning. She cried, screamed, pleaded for someone to help her remember. When her mouth did not say it, her feelings, thoughts did.

Although Ulquiorra was sure the bond was broken, there were times as he watched her that his instincts told him it was not. She called for him in her sleep, through not knowing his name she begged him for the truth. Truth he could not give. He'd lost her once, he dared not do it again.

Loneliness for him for a habitual feeling. He'd made his bed with it before, he would again, and again. Despair was quite the same, darkness was his mother, his lover, his companion. Something the human girl could never be. She however was not used to these feelings, she'd spent her entire life surrounded by people who loved her, he assured himself within a matter of time she would be fine.

Yet for want of purpose he watched her. His left eye sat on her person whenever he could not. Made useful because of his natural regeneration properties. Losing limbs, through fatal for others were not so much for him. An eye he would regenerate in a matter of minutes.

For now she slept, weeping nonetheless, but sleeping. She'd refused food for the third time in a week, it was showing on her body.

You will kill yourself girl…Ulquiorra thought.

A knock on his quarters door interrupted his thoughts. " Enter," he said aloofly. A moment later a arrancar girl stepped in, bowed then stepped aside to reveal two other arrancar girls wearing close to nothing.

" Master Grimmjow has requested you take them tonight," he girl paused, " he said you are in need of loosening up."

Ulquiorra turned away from the display. This was the tenth time Grimmjow had attempted this, tenth time too many.

" I do not want them," he said. He'd not taken two looks at them.

" Are you sure?" It was Grimmjow's voice this time. " I had them especially made up for you."

Ulquiorra turned then. The girls that stood in front of him looked similar to…her…Same body type, messy hair, eye color, mouth. Almost identical twins. Almost.

" You disgust me," Ulquiorra said turning again to face the window. Its outside reflected nothingness, just like his soul.

" Damn, after I worked so hard training them," Grimmjow said mocking disappointment. He clapped his hands. " Back to my quarters then, leave Ulquiorra with his hand."

Then he was gone laughing his mocking laugh down the hall.

The thought of killing Grimmjow arose in Ulquiorra's mind before the sight of Molly caught his attention again.

She sat up screaming which was nothing new, Joel held her that to was not new.

Ulquiorra," she whispered.

His eyes widened at that.

" His name," She said. " His name is Ulquiorra, he's alive. I knew I wasn't crazy. He's alive and he needs my help."

She remembered his name. That could only mean one thing.

The powers suppressing her memories and powers were slowly breaking down under her will.

Joel's hand gripped Ulquiorra's single eyeball he'd left lingering in the girl's presence, muscles tensing with anger he shattered it leaving Ulquiorra blind to what was happening.

" It matters not," Ulquiorra said opening a portal. He stepped through, appearing moments later in the parking lot of Molly's apartment complex. Waiting for him, sword ready was Joel.

I know...but its only the first chapter. Tell me what you think!

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